Last goes first:

Woof · Sep 30, 2009

Above all else, to thine own self be true, and you can't manage that, at least try to lie with conviction.

Nymtoc · Sep 30, 2009

"CONVICTION!" screamed the headlines after the jury found Lola LaRue guilty of performing the dance of the seven veils with only six veils.

Woof · Sep 30, 2009

Veils completely hid the face of the princess, because according to legend, any man who set eyes on her face would be put to death--but the truth was, that the veils were there to conceal her acne.

Lavern08 · Sep 30, 2009

Acne and a really scary-looking wart marred her otherwise gorgeous face.

brad_b · Sep 30, 2009

Face cream does much to hide blemishes, especially if it's left in place.

Woof · Oct 1, 2009

"Place that hideous-looking thing in the corner of the room," he instructed the mover, regarding his stuffed mother-in-law.

Nymtoc · Oct 1, 2009

Mother-in-law jokes have been a staple of stand-up comics for years.

Lavern08 · Oct 1, 2009

Years ago, my mother-in-law actually made me cry.

Nymtoc · Oct 1, 2009

Cry me a river, or at the very least a brook. :e2cry:

brad_b · Oct 1, 2009

Brook trout is tasty when rolled in bread crumbs and butter and simmered over a wood fire.

Nymtoc · Oct 1, 2009

"Fire him!" the boss shouted on learning that his new employee was spending more time on AW than on spreadsheets.

brad_b · Oct 1, 2009

Spreadsheets aren't really sheets at all, so at least you don't have to fold them after washing.

Lavern08 · Oct 1, 2009

Washing someone's feet is considered the ultimate in humility.

Woof · Oct 1, 2009

"Humility has its limits," he sighed, wiping off some toe jam.

Nymtoc · Oct 1, 2009

Jam for breakfast, jam for lunch, but give me chocolate cream puffs for dinner.

Komnena · Oct 1, 2009

Dinner was crab poutine.

Lavern08 · Oct 2, 2009

Poutine the toothpaste back into the tube is virtually impossible. :tongue

Woof · Oct 2, 2009

"Impossible? Nothing is impossible!" he declared, trying to squeeze into a pair of size 28 jeans as his face turned purple.

Nymtoc · Oct 2, 2009

Purple oranges were developed in an experimental orchard recently, but nobody can figure out what to call them.

oneblindmouse · Oct 2, 2009

Them that find toads in the flowerbeds had best not garden barefoot.

Lavern08 · Oct 2, 2009

Barefoot, giggling babies are delightful.

Nymtoc · Oct 2, 2009

Delightful dolls devoured delicious dates.

oneblindmouse · Oct 3, 2009

Dates are often a disappointment.

Lavern08 · Oct 3, 2009

Disappointment, they name is rejection!

Nymtoc · Oct 3, 2009

Rejection often leads to dejection.

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Outward Hound

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Outward Hound

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

Knight Errant

Outward Hound

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Sit Down, and Shut Up!

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Knight Errant

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Knight Errant

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

Outward Hound

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In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

Outward Hound

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The new me

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

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The new me

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

Benefactor Member