Last goes first:

Nymtoc · Apr 28, 2010

"Eve, how many times do I have to tell you I don't want an apple?"

Fallen · Apr 28, 2010

Apple of me eye is a weird saying; apples don't come in eyes

Woof · Apr 28, 2010

"Eyes are the windows of the soul," she said, "and yours are covered in heavy, dark curtains."

Nymtoc · Apr 28, 2010

"Curtains, Muggsy," said Jimmy the Gimp, "Get in the car--we're goin' for a ride."

Woof · Apr 29, 2010

"Ride this baby," he said, handing her the stick shift.

Nymtoc · Apr 29, 2010

Shift runs from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. for the night watchman.

Woof · Apr 29, 2010

Watchman keeps an eagle eye out for would-be thieves, except during those hours when he is fast asleep.

Nymtoc · Apr 29, 2010

Asleep she is a princess, awake a scullery maid.

Woof · Apr 29, 2010

"Maid, please make up this bed!" he ordered, "after you and I have gotten dressed."

Nymtoc · Apr 29, 2010

Dressed to the eights, she had a feeling that something was missing.

Woof · Apr 29, 2010

'Missing In Action' is how she described her sex life with her husband.

Nymtoc · Apr 29, 2010

"Husband," she said as she produced a revolver, "I married you till death do us part, so why do you look so surprised?"

Woof · Apr 29, 2010

Surprised and shocked, Derrick learned that evening that the hermaphrodite he had married, had undergone not one but two sex-change operations.

Fallen · Apr 29, 2010

operations cost you an arm and a leg in America.

Woof · Apr 30, 2010

America over a century ago was divided by civil war, and today it is equally divided by uncivil war, politically speaking.

Nymtoc · Apr 30, 2010

Speaking frankly, I think it was a mistake for you to dye your hair green.

Woof · Apr 30, 2010

Green is the color of my true love's money.

Nymtoc · Apr 30, 2010

"Money means nothing to me," said the CEO of Goldman Sachs, "and it is well known that our firm is completely devoted to helping society's most disadvantaged." :evil

Woof · Apr 30, 2010

Disadvantaged, disenfranchised, disconnected and discombobulated, Daisy definitely dealt with disassociation dilemmas.

Nymtoc · Apr 30, 2010

Dilemmas did definitely doom Drusilla's desperate diva drama.

Woof · Apr 30, 2010

"Drama queen!?" Who are you calling a drama queen?" she bellowed, chewing up all the scenery and devouring the props.

Nymtoc · Apr 30, 2010

Props for my new play will include a silver tea service, a lace tablecloth, a vase of white roses, three Fabergé eggs and a machine gun.

Woof · Apr 30, 2010

Gun laws should be tightened, but laws should be relaxed pertaining to personal crossbows.

Nymtoc · Apr 30, 2010

Crossbows at the ready, the members of the Ladies Temperance Society descended on the saloon.

archerjoe · Apr 30, 2010

"Saloon," said Freddy bowing to the foreign dignitary as his co-workers watched in horror.

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