One Way to Kill your Career

It seems appropriate to stick a detailed comment in here.

J. Michael Straczynski once called Harlan Ellison, and asked him for advice on reducing the volume of rejections he got.

Harlan's laconic advice: "Stop writing crap."


I had bunches of short story rejections while trying to get my first novel published. The novel sold on first submission. I'm still not nearly as good with shorts.

Recently, I was asked to contribute a story to the "Citizens" anthology. I dusted off this old short from a decade ago, and took a look.

Turgid, lacking impact, and way too much backstory. It was a short trying to be a novel. I chopped it from 12K to 8K, rewrote line by line--there may be two untouched lines of dialog and a sentence or two. The rest was gutted and rebuilt, stronger, faster, better.

The original was crap. This rewrite is being well received.

How can she get published? Stop writing crap.

http://74.125.155.132/search?q=cach...ueen.blogspot.com/2010/04/why-life-sucks.html and here's the archive post of her rant

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just a suggestion, but maybe you should double check the actual identies of those people on Absolute Write...because MANY of them ARE published, and not all of them are Romance authors.

Don't just believe what your friend or whoever told you, check it out for yourself.

Some even actually have agents.

April 27, 2010 12:49 PM
Blogger The Rejection Queen said...

Honestly, I could care less about who is who. Unlike them, I have better things to do in my life then do investigations on people.

April 27, 2010 12:52 PM
Blogger The Rejection Queen said...

Yeah, published authors that will never amount to anything. Seriously, if those "PUBLISHED AUTHORS" have time to screw around on blogs...they ain't doing so well. I know once my book is published I won't have time to do this shit anymore. Unless I'm REALLY unsuccessful.

April 27, 2010 12:54 PM

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~~~~

Yes, John Scalzi and...oh, NEIL GAIMAN blog extensively. They clearly ain't doing so well.

I make an adequate living as a writer, which puts me above 90%, and I blog the hell out of stuff.

Her most recent post contains the words "fiction novel."

I think that tells me everything I need to know.

wow I hadn't read this thread (or looked at her blog) for a while and... I'm ashamed to say I'm pleased she lost her marbles and went full on cray-cray trying to untangle her web of lies. It is all so entertaining.
I also like to think (wish I could think) this is all an act by some person with a weird and patient sense of humor reading this thread and saying "at last, I got those writers... I tricked them into believing that someone so ridiculous exists! hahaha!"

MichaelZWilliamson said:

Beef burger was also the standard name when I lived in England.

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True, despite beef being the lowest quantity of ingredient in a burger.

Now an Aberdeen Angus burger, that's a different matter.

I love that she's now posting tips on writing for newbies

They came first for the rejected...

Christine N. said:

Just in case Jenny happens by, here's another bit of info that gave her up. On March 29th, she writes on the blog.

Which, the Jennifer Edlund FB backs up with: "April 15th is the day!"

THEN, amazingly, BOTH Jennys have 'problems' with their books and they're pushed back.

Lady, look. Your done. Outed. Grand Central Publishing would NOT have problems as you describe ONE MONTH before release. Not that it couldn't happen, but one month until drop is the time when the publisher is gathering releases and PRINTING BOOKS. The time for mistakes is long past, and that book wouldn't have gone to print unless it was pretty damn near perfect.

PA on the other hand, totally can believe it.

Just fess up already, 'cuz this isn't going away. And leave Jim Hines alone - he might write you into his next book.

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When my first visit to the Rejection Queen blog set my lie-dar pinging, I kept my mouth shut.

When I happened to check back at RQ around the time she posted her email address and subsequently Googled my way to that phony book cover, I kept my mouth shut.

Now that she's gone and blown the whole thing up on her own, I'm gonna go ahead and point this out:

Jennifer Edlund's Helium.com About Me page tells us she has no articles posted on Helium.

But Archive.org's Wayback Machine says she used to have a bunch of articles on Helium. (Page formatting screwed up due to it being an archive, but the text is still readable.)

Hmm... and what were those articles?

Snappy little numbers like "Relationships: Advice on letting go," "Great ways to annoy a guy," and "Advice for new writers."

Somehow I can't help but be reminded of RQ's suggestions for letting go, annoying guys , and new writers. And, hey-- RQ specifically says she first posted the "letting go" article on Helium.

So is this split-personality self-plagiarism? A massive Jennifers-only identity theft operation that requires time travel?

I'll leave that for you to decide. I'm still working on figuring out the ethics of what one's supposed to do when one sees ridiculous lies on the internet. Also whether "Como magazine" was a typo for Cosmo or she really meant they were printing that article in the mag about "shaping and efficiently interconnecting the diverse transportation systems for the long term with our integrated mobility solutions."

Nona, you might be new here, but I think you might have just won Teh Interwebz! You are the goddess of Google-Fu, and I bow before you.

Let's capture some of that here so that when Jenny Edwards deletes the RQ posts, we'll still have the evidence.

From Jennifer Edlund on Helium (Nona's first 'letting go' link above)

Letting go after a break up can be the most arduous part in a relationship, sometimes even torturous depending how long the relationship lasted. Putting time and effort into someone and then to see it all fall part is the primary explanation of why some people have such a difficult time letting go. In other circumstances, people are fearful of starting the dating process again, and want to dodge it at all costs. Through my experiences, I have discovered that the only real way to let go is to give it time. Yes, it is brutal.

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And from Jenny Edwards on the RQ:

Letting go after a break up can be the most arduous part in a relationship, sometimes even torturous depending how long the relationship lasted. Putting time and effort into someone and then to see it all fall part is the primary explanation of why some people have such a difficult time letting go. In other circumstances, people are fearful of starting the dating process again, and want to dodge it at all costs. Through my experiences, I have discovered that the only real way to let go is to give it time. Yes, it is brutal.

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Jennifer Edlund on how to annoy guys:

Some women have proven methods of keeping a man happy in a relationship. Others might disclose the secrets of how to destroy a relationship. The concept of fending off a man is far easier than actually trying to snag one. Through the years, I have witnessed several of my dear friends do all the wrong things when it comes to making a relationship successful. The following is a list of tips that might be useful when annoying a man. If you don't catch my sarcasm by the time you are done reading this, you might want to reevaluate the list.

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Jenny Edwards on how to annoy guys:

Some women have proven methods of keeping a man happy in a relationship. Others might disclose the secrets of how to destroy a relationship. The concept of fending off a man is far easier than actually trying to snag one. Through the years, I have witnessed several of my dear friends do all the wrong things when it comes to making a relationship successful. The following is a list of tips that might be useful when annoying a man. If you don’t catch my sarcasm by the time you are done reading this, you might want to reevaluate the list.

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Jennifer Edlund on advice for new writers:

Either you have the talent or you don't. It's that straightforward. I honestly believe that if you want to write a fiction novel or any novel for that matter, you have to be born with the gift. It doesn't have anything to do with going to college or going to a famed writing school, no one can teach you to be creative.

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Jenny Edwards on advice for new writers:

Either you have the talent or you don’t. It’s that straightforward. If you want to write a fiction novel or anything for that matter, you have to be born with the gift. It doesn’t have anything to do with going to college or going to a famed writing school. No one can teach you to be creative.

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I agree. Someone, bundle up the interwebs and take it to Nona's house. And the title of her post gets her a gold star and a chocolit cayk!

So enjoyable. Her cheese is so far off her cracker.... the five second rule has long since been breached.

oh - and wait!! isn't there something illegal about claiming to have a book coming out on so-n-so press when it isn't true?!

Either you have the talent or you don’t. It’s that straightforward. If you want to write a fiction novel or anything for that matter, you have to be born with the gift. It doesn’t have anything to do with going to college or going to a famed writing school. No one can teach you to be creative.

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That explains a lot. If you're born gifted, your novel is a masterpiece even at 144,000 words. If nobody can teach you anything, you don't learn from anyone. No writing group, no critique partner, no beta readers, no books on writing ...

bettielee said:

oh - and wait!! isn't there something illegal about claiming to have a book coming out on so-n-so press when it isn't true?!

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I think that's just lying. If she was telling people to send her money via PayPal so she could send them the book, and the book never existed and/or was substantially not what she promised, that might be illegal.

Of course Grand Central might not be very pleased to be associated with her.

Little birdies tell me that they...aren't.

She was told that publishing was a very small community and people talk...but she never published my comment. And obviously didn't listen. *shrug*.

thethinker42 said:

I explained "fiction novel" to someone earlier today by saying it's the equivalent to "beef burger". Got the point across.

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I go to a restaurant that serves beef burgers, turkey burgers, chicken burgers, bison burgers, lamb burgers, pork burgers, ostrich burgers, tuna burgers, salmon burgers, soy burgers, vegetable burgers, bean burgers, grain burgers, and yes, ham burgers. If they can stick it together, they call it a burger.

I've seen the same easy nomenclature for sandwichable patties in most restaurants I've frequented.

However, fiction novel remains an abomination. Butt ass, on the other hand, is a joy forever.

Phaeal said:

I go to a restaurant that serves beef burgers, turkey burgers, chicken burgers, bison burgers, lamb burgers, pork burgers, ostrich burgers, tuna burgers, salmon burgers, soy burgers, vegetable burgers, bean burgers, grain burgers, and yes, ham burgers. If they can stick it together, they call it a burger.

I've seen the same easy nomenclature for sandwichable patties in most restaurants I've frequented.

However, fiction novel remains an abomination. Butt ass, on the other hand, is a joy forever.

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Yes, but when one says "a burger", it's assumed it's beef. When something else is used (bison burger, ostrich burger, etc), then the difference is clear...but burger on its own is generally assumed to be beef.

Of course it's not a perfect analogy...but it got the point across to the person who couldn't understand why I wanted to cut out their tongue for saying "fiction novel".

I just say, "All novels are fiction, you ignorant cunt," after which they generally leave me alone.

scarletpeaches said:

I just say, "All novels are fiction, you ignorant cunt," after which they generally leave me alone.

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Well yes, you would...

I'm thinking of writing an etiquette manual.

It will, of course, be a very short book.

Is it weird that, even in my pre-internet days, I never thought of anything I was writing as a "fiction novel"? Is it a phase you're supposed to go through?

Parametric said:

That explains a lot. If you're born gifted, your novel is a masterpiece even at 144,000 words. If nobody can teach you anything, you don't learn from anyone. No writing group, no critique partner, no beta readers, no books on writing ...

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And if you're born gifted, rejections are their fault, not yours.

scarletpeaches said:

I just say, "All novels are fiction, you ignorant cunt," after which they generally leave me alone.

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Except for "In Cold Blood." It's a non-fiction novel. But Capote iz teh special.

I love how you answered yet another "SP haz a angreh" post as if it was...an everyday occurrence.

Which I guess it is.

Celia Cyanide said:

Except for "In Cold Blood." It's a non-fiction novel. But Capote iz teh special.

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Don't they call that "narrative non-fiction" now? or *gag* "faction"

Celia Cyanide said:

Except for "In Cold Blood." It's a non-fiction novel. But Capote iz teh special.

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Dammit, CC - you beat me to the punch!

Heh heh heh.

Fiction novel.