Your wish is granted...

Drachen Jager · Mar 27, 2011

Granted. There are fourteen eggs in a dozen-sized cartons now. The extra bonus; there is only room for a dozen so they arrive in your refrigerator pre-cracked.

I wish for a six figure advance on my next novel.

PorterStarrByrd · Mar 27, 2011

Granted

What was your book about? There are six Arabs 'working' on your car. They are only the advance team.

I wish there was more bacon

CDSinex · Mar 27, 2011

Granted: From now on everything you touch turns to bacon. STOP! DON'T SCRATCH YOUR HEA ...

I wish tomorrow was another Sunday.

Drachen Jager · Mar 27, 2011

Granted. Your alarm clock goes off, it's Sunday again. The same Sunday you just left. In fact every day is Suday... Hey, someone should make a movie like that!

I wish my kids would let me sleep in on the weekends.

PorterStarrByrd · Mar 28, 2011

Granted

They'll let you sleep in the closest motel ... ALONE

I wish the bluejays would be friendlier to the squirrels

Nymtoc · Mar 28, 2011

Granted. The bluejays are giving a party and having the squirrels for dinner.

I wish I could visit the North Pole and find out what Santa and his elves do during the off-season.

Drachen Jager · Mar 28, 2011

Granted. You are wearing only underwear. I've dropped you off about 20km from his workshop because the view on the trail down is spectacular.

I wish the old 'BS your way through' thread were still alive.

CDSinex · Mar 28, 2011

Granted: Look for it on page one.

I wish I had something to wish for.

Drachen Jager · Mar 28, 2011

Granted. You are framed for a crime you did not commit and sentenced to death. Also, and I'm afraid this might come at rather a bad time... you're out of wishes.

I wish my hard drive wasn't a Fukishima.

Nymtoc · Mar 28, 2011

Granted. It used to be, but now it's all fukishima'd up.

I wish my Kindle didn't malfunction.

Drachen Jager · Mar 28, 2011

Granted. Your kindle now Fukishimas.

I wish all my hardware would stop Fukashimaing up.

[my drive is already Fukishimaed]

PorterStarrByrd · Mar 29, 2011

Drachen Jager said:
Granted. Your kindle now Fukishimas.

I wish all my hardware would stop Fukashimaing up.

[my drive is already Fukishimaed]

Granted

The rest of it just Hitachi'd

I wish Watermelon rinds were transparent

Nymtoc · Mar 29, 2011

Granted. And since you can't see them, you eat them, and they make you sick.

I wish politicians would tell the truth at all times.

iLion · Mar 29, 2011

omg...!! You really want to test the genie, huh? Okay... you asked for it! I'm not responsible for the results, Nym.

BAM!!! Granted!
And now politicians only tell the truth, but the truth is SO ugly and mean and self-serving that no one can bring themselves to vote for any of them.. gov't grinds to a halt, anarchy ensues and we have total collapse. Our system depended greatly on their continued lies so that we are deceived enough to show up at the polls.

I wish people would complain less.

Drachen Jager · Mar 29, 2011

Granted. They all channel the energy they used to use in complaining into passive aggressiveness. Your car is being keyed right this minute because you parked too close to the line.

I wish iLion would get a hair cut.

alleycat · Mar 29, 2011

Granted. How's this?

I wish I had something interesting to wish for.

PorterStarrByrd · Mar 29, 2011

alleycat said:
Granted. How's this?

I wish I had something interesting to wish for.

Granted
You now stare at your navel for hours and hours and hours

I wish the Sahara would bloom again

Drachen Jager · Mar 29, 2011

Granted.

Isn't it beautiful?

I wish I knew everything.

alleycat · Mar 29, 2011

Granted, but your head will look like this:

I wish I could speak and understand cat (besides meow).

Drachen Jager · Mar 29, 2011

Granted. Now you hear what cats have been saying all along. They just repeat the phrase, "I can haz cheezburger?"

I wish for the best birthday present ever!

iLion · Mar 29, 2011

Granted. I didn't want to impose my own ideas on you, so I stopped someone randomly on the street. it turned out to be a sweet little old lady who just wanted to be called 'Granny'. She said the best birthday present ever would definitely be a new thimble to complete her nice collection at home. So I created two... one for you both.

Happy B'day DJ!!

I wish I had more discipline with food.

Drachen Jager · Mar 29, 2011

[it's not actually my birthday]

Granted. You have been assigned the Drill Sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. He will scream in your ear whenever you eat, smell, or even think about food (yes that includes dreams in the middle of the night).

I wish it actually was my birthday today.

PorterStarrByrd · Mar 29, 2011

Drachen Jager said:
[it's not actually my birthday]

Granted. You have been assigned the Drill Sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. He will scream in your ear whenever you eat, smell, or even think about food (yes that includes dreams in the middle of the night).

I wish it actually was my birthday today.

NO !!!

Selfish Brat .. wait your damned turn !!!!

I wish I was more diplomatic

Nymtoc · Mar 29, 2011

Granted. Now you say, "Do you mind if I hit you in the face, sir?" before you hit a guy in the face.

I wish I could script my dreams, so they come out the way I want them to.

Lord of Chaos · Mar 29, 2011

Granted. Unfortunately, you now suffer from insomnia.

I wish my job would pay me to stay at home and write

Your wish is granted...

Professor of applied misanthropy

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Imagine something clever here.

Professor of applied misanthropy

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Benefactor Member

Professor of applied misanthropy

Imagine something clever here.

Professor of applied misanthropy

Benefactor Member

Professor of applied misanthropy

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Benefactor Member

Why do I say these things?

Professor of applied misanthropy

Still around

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Professor of applied misanthropy

Still around

Professor of applied misanthropy

Why do I say these things?

Professor of applied misanthropy

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Benefactor Member

Let Chaos reign