Your wish is granted...

CDSinex

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Granted: You now stay home and write cover letters to the hundreds of resumes you send out daily. Unemployment insurance pays half of what you earned before you were fired.

I wish fresh picked, local peaches were available year round.
 

PorterStarrByrd

nutruring tomorrows criminals today
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Granted: You now stay home and write cover letters to the hundreds of resumes you send out daily. Unemployment insurance pays half of what you earned before you were fired.

I wish fresh picked, local peaches were available year round.


Granted
You are now a migrant fruit picker

I wish I could tell the difference between Ostriches and Emu's
 

Nymtoc

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Granted. The female emu is somewhat larger than the male, so if you plan to mate with one you should have no trouble telling the difference. The male and female ostrich, on the other hand, look almost alike, so be very careful!

I wish Donald Trump would get a sensible haircut.
 

CDSinex

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Granted: The Genie has burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Just yesterday, it seems, Donald Trump wished that Nymtoc would get a sensible haircut.

I wish the Genie would stop laughing long enough for me to make a wish.
 

Nymtoc

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Granted. The genie stopped laughing a half hour ago, and you still haven't made a wish. No wishy, no granty.

I wish I didn't have to revise so much.
 

CDSinex

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Granted: Your editors no longer suggest revision, they put your unopened submissions directly into a paper shredder.

I wish I could get my other wish back.
 

Drachen Jager

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Granted. You have your other wish back. But... you do realize that this wish is gone right?

I wish I were king.
 

Nymtoc

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Granted. I hope you don't mind being called Larry.

KING%20LARRY%203%20300X397.JPG



I wish I could make a wish that comes out good no matter what the genie does.
 

alleycat

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Granted. Here you go. Enjoy it while it lasts.


I wish my cat would let me get another cat or a dog.
 

CDSinex

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Granted: Due to the Genies intercession, your cat allows you to bring another cat, of the opposite gender, in to the house. Your cat now feels that, with the added need for privacy, you should find "your own" place. You are still required to stop by twice daily to provide food and fresh water, as well as to clean the litter box.

I wish I could see into the future.
 

Nymtoc

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Granted. But what you see is so shocking that you go into a catatonic state. You now live at the Happy Meadows Rest Home, where AW members may visit you each Thursday between 11:15 and 11:30 a.m., just before your noon feeding.

I wish we had bluebirds in the city instead of all those damned pigeons.
 

iLion

Why do I say these things?
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You got it, Nym! Although, I admit I don't really get this one.)

The damned pigeon sisters have left, and your city is now jammed with Bluebird school buses; so many, in fact, that no one is going to be driving anywhere for a very long while.


I wish I could run 80 mph.
 

Drachen Jager

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Granted. Genie had a little trouble with this one. 'run' has so many different meanings, so I chose, "to cause to move easily, freely, or smoothly" and 'mph' is Master of Philosophy of course. I have provided you with a big bucket of grease and a whole gaggle of pipe-smoking pseudo-intellectuals for you. Grease 'em up!

I wish I could just insert a jack in the back of my head and connect directly to the internet.
 

Nymtoc

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Granted. Here's the jack, and here's the guy who will insert it in your head.

CAR%20JACK%201.jpg


I wish I knew what was inside a black hole.
 

Drachen Jager

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Why so racist Nymtoc? It could be any colour of hole, but noooo, you've got to know what's in a black one. What about white holes Nymtoc? They have secrets too. Deep, dark, scary secrets.

Were tissues named after the noise you make when you sneeze? "A-tishooo"
 

Nymtoc

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Granted. But first you have to go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass Go, and do not collect $200.

I wish I knew the meaning of it all.
 

Drachen Jager

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Granted.


It
–pronoun 1. (used to represent an inanimate thing understood, previously mentioned, about to be mentioned, or present in the immediate context): It has whitewall tires and red upholstery. you can't tell a book by its cover.

2. (used to represent a person or animal understood, previously mentioned, or about to be mentioned whose gender is unknown or disregarded): It was the largest ever caught off the Florida coast. who was it? It was John. The horse had its saddle on.

3. (used to represent a group understood or previously mentioned): The judge told the jury it must decide two issues.

4. (used to represent a concept or abstract idea understood or previously stated): It all started with Adam and Eve. He has been taught to believe it all his life.

5. (used to represent an action or activity understood, previously mentioned, or about to be mentioned): Since you don't like it, you don't have to go skiing.

6. (used as the impersonal subject of the verb to be, especially to refer to time, distance, or the weather): It is six o'clock. It is five miles to town. It was foggy.

7. (used in statements expressing an action, condition, fact, circumstance, or situation without reference to an agent): If it weren't for Edna, I wouldn't go.

8. (used in referring to something as the origin or cause of pain, pleasure, etc.): Where does it hurt? It looks bad for the candidate.

9. (used in referring to a source not specifically named or described): It is said that love is blind.

10. (used in referring to the general state of affairs; circumstances, fate, or life in general): How's it going with you?

11. (used as an anticipatory subject or object to make a sentence more eloquent or suspenseful or to shift emphasis): It is necessary that you do your duty. It was a gun that he was carrying.

12. Informal . (used instead of the pronoun its before a gerund): It having rained for only one hour didn't help the crops.


–noun 13. (in children's games) the player called upon to perform some task, as, in tag, the one who must catch the other players.

14. Slang . a. sex appeal.

b. sexual intercourse.




—Idioms 15. get with it, Slang . to become active or interested: He was warned to get with it or resign.

16. have it, Informal . a. to love someone: She really has it bad for him.

b. to possess the requisite abilities for something; be talented, adept, or proficient: In this business youeither have it or you don't.



17. with it, Slang . a. aware of the latest fads, fashions, etc.; up-to-date.

b. attentive or alert: I'm just not with it early in the morning.

c. understanding or appreciative of something, as jazz.

d. Carnival Slang . being a member of the carnival.





All
–adjective 1. the whole of (used in referring to quantity, extent, or duration): all the cake; all the way; all year.

2. the whole number of (used in referring to individuals or particulars, taken collectively): all students.

3. the greatest possible (used in referring to quality or degree): with all due respect; with all speed.

4. every: all kinds; all sorts.

5. any; any whatever: beyond all doubt.

6. nothing but; only: The coat is all wool.

7. dominated by or as if by the conspicuous possession or use of a particular feature: The colt was all legs. They were all ears, listening attentively to everything she said.

8. Chiefly Pennsylvania German . all gone; consumed; finished: The pie is all.


–pronoun 9. the whole quantity or amount: He ate all of the peanuts. All are gone.

10. the whole number; every one: all of us.

11. everything: Is that all you want to say? All is lost.


–noun 12. one's whole interest, energy, or property: to give one's all; to lose one's all.

13. ( often initial capital letter
thinsp.png
) the entire universe.


–adverb 14. wholly; entirely; completely: all alone.

15. only; exclusively: He spent his income all on pleasure.

16. each; apiece: The score was one all.

17. Archaic . even; just.


—Idioms 18. above all, before everything else; chiefly: Above all, the little girl wanted a piano.

19. after all, in spite of the circumstances; notwithstanding: He came in time after all.

20. all at once. once ( def. 14 ) .

21. all but, almost; very nearly: These batteries are all but dead.

22. all in, Northern and Western U.S. very tired; exhausted: We were all in at the end of the day.

23. all in all, a. everything considered; in general: All in all, her health is greatly improved.

b. altogether: There were twelve absentees all in all.

c. everything; everything regarded as important: Painting became his all in all.



24. all in hand, Printing, Journalism . (of the copy for typesetting a particular article, book, issue, etc.) in the possession of the compositor.

25. all in the wind, Nautical . too close to the wind.

26. all out, with all available means or effort: We went all out to win the war.

27. all over, a. finished; done; ended.

b. everywhere; in every part.

c. in every respect; typically.



28. all standing, Nautical . a. in such a way and so suddenly that sails or engines are still set to propel a vessel forward: The ship ran aground all standing.

b. fully clothed: The crew turned in all standing.

c. fully equipped, as a vessel.



29. all that, remarkably; entirely; decidedly (used in negative constructions): It's not all that different from your other house.

30. all the better, more advantageous; so much the better: If the sun shines it will be all the better for our trip.

31. all there, Informal . mentally competent; not insane or feeble-minded: Some of his farfetched ideas made us suspect that he wasn't all there.

32. all the same. same ( def. 9 ) .

33. all told. told ( def. 2 ) .

34. all up, a. Printing, Journalism . (of copy) completely set in type.

b. Informal . with no vestige of hope remaining: It's all up with George—they've caught him.



35. and all, together with every other associated or connected attribute, object, or circumstance: What with the snow and all, we may be a little late.

36. at all, a. in the slightest degree: I wasn't surprised at all.

b. for any reason: Why bother at all?

c. in any way: no offense at all.



37. for all (that), in spite of; notwithstanding: For all that, it was a good year.

38. in all, all included; all together: a hundred guests in all.

39. once and for all, for the last time; finally: The case was settled once and for all when the appeal was denied.






I wish people would make more interesting wishes.
 

Nymtoc

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Granted. From now on, all wishes will deal with interesting things like cookie crumbs, things to do with used tissues, and the precise distance (in both miles and km) between Vancouver and Bilby, Alberta.

I wish Drachen Jager could learn to be more concise.
 

CDSinex

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Granted: There are now two of you, and the Genie compels you both to live together. You will soon learn how argumentative the two of you can be.

I wish my house would clean itself.
 

Nymtoc

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Granted. At 3 o'clock each morning, your house drenches itself with Clorox. The stench and the fumes cause you to leap out of bed and run outside, where you are forced to stand shivering till the sun comes up.

I wish I had an infallible Ouija board.
 

Drachen Jager

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Granted. It is infallible and tells the complete truth about the future. Unfortunately, so many things happen in the future, that, by the time it gets done covering what will happen during the next second several weeks have passed.

I wish CDSinex could tell the difference between letters and numbers.
 

CDSinex

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Granted: He now can, but the Genie agrees with him that 2 of you, or two of you are two (2) too many.

I people would be nicer to each other on this thread starting now.