Old People Writing for Teens, IV

paperbackwriter · May 1, 2011

Okay, last one and then I'll shut up.

I am thankful for every crit I get. (I wanna say that up front so you know I'm grateful, I really am) I'd wash cars for people's honest opinions. What? I would! People take their time to read your work and leave a comment and they don't have to. It's feedback I wouldn't have otherwise so that's awesome.

Ya'll know there's a big 'but' coming here don't you? It's not that, okay it is, it's just I wish when people leave a comment that 'something could be better' I wish they'd say how it could be better. Do you know what I mean? Is the story slow, wordy, to telly, dry, passive, confusing, just not interesting... That kind of info sure can help. Am I just ranting? I don't mean to complain.

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

Maybe they don't know how you could improve it, or how to put it into words. Maybe they just know that something could be a little better. Lol.

pezie · May 1, 2011

I see what you're saying. I think, though, that you got some good feedback in that thread and I wouldn't sweat it. Maybe, like PD said, they just couldn't quite put their finger on it? Plus there's always the "I don't want to just 'ditto' what the last guy said." thing too.

You asked for specifics though, so maybe they'll come back and respond?

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

Hi Pezie! I seem destined to keep missing people today =(

pezie · May 1, 2011

Oh, don't worry. I'm trying to navigate too many things at once. Internet ADD--here, blogs, twitter, my personal FB and a parenting message board I also frequent. Plus writing. haha.

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

I posted, and thanks =)

It's Mom's what I had up earlier, then I realized no one was here - laughs =) She does not know how to type and she was worried that it did not work. I like it, but I may be bias... lol

paperbackwriter · May 1, 2011

Yeah I see what you mean, thanks. Several people helped me make it loads better. Did you have a good Sunday?

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

paperbackwriter said:
Yeah I see what you mean, thanks. Several people helped me make it loads better. Did you have a good Sunday?

Hi paperback, posted a quick 300 word in YAWN, just to see what ya all think. Mom was worried it did not work(it's hers-she cannot type well), I told her it did. You guys are unbias, so I was asking for comments(reps.) lol.

How are you? Oh and I sent you a PM about YAWN, incase no one ever invited/let you in on the secret. My manners are really escaping me today. =)

pezie · May 1, 2011

Hey, PBW--I did have a good Sunday. Lots of family time. Added a little to the WIP, but I'm at a point where I need to hash out some details before I can continue. I have this strong urge to sketch it first, which is something I have NEVER done. Weird. But I tihnk it would help me.

PD--I rep'd you.

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

pezie said:
Hey, PBW--I did have a good Sunday. Lots of family time. Added a little to the WIP, but I'm at a point where I need to hash out some details before I can continue. I have this strong urge to sketch it first, which is something I have NEVER done. Weird. But I tihnk it would help me.

PD--I rep'd you.

Thanks! I saw, yes the MC is male. Lol. And I will look into 'entranced' - thanks. Yeah, older than YA. I think probably "woman's/contemp., paranormal/murder/mystery"...

ETA: looked up entranced 'mesmerize, seduce, enchant'... perfect!

pixydust · May 1, 2011

paperbackwriter said:
Ya'll know there's a big 'but' coming here don't you? It's not that, okay it is, it's just I wish when people leave a comment that 'something could be better' I wish they'd say how it could be better. Do you know what I mean? Is the story slow, wordy, to telly, dry, passive, confusing, just not interesting... That kind of info sure can help. Am I just ranting? I don't mean to complain.

I actually know exactly what you mean. If you can't be specific it's a bit pointless (not to mention, irritating) to say anything at all.

Crittiquing is, itself, a talent. You have to think about it, and make sure what you're saying is helpful. And if the writer can't tell what it is bugging you or keeping your from reading...lol. Well, anyway. That's my 2 cents.

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

Hi Pixie - *huggles*

ah, if you wouldn't mind, what do you think of the 300 words posted in YAWN?

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

Okay, if no one is here then I am gonna take it down in 10 mins. Lol, thanks Pezie!

pixydust · May 1, 2011

Oops, missed it...lol. Sorry.

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

That's what happens when ya vanish. Lol!

pixydust · May 1, 2011

Went to go try and help paperbackwriter on her post in SYW.

Time to get back to work, though. I've got loads of Beta stuff to do...

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

Ah, well I reposted, lol.... sorry

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

I just keep missing people. Just my luck.... mutters quietly... :rant:

paperbackwriter · May 1, 2011

Drat, your post is gone P-dragon?

I didn't realize it doesn't stay up. I'd love to read your stuff. Sometime when you know I'm on, if you ever want to re-post, I'd be happy to read. What is YAWN anyway? You can always send it to me in PM, too, if you want...just a thought.

paperbackwriter · May 1, 2011

pixydust said:
Went to go try and help paperbackwriter on her post in SYW. Time to get back to work, though. I've got loads of Beta stuff to do...

Thanks so much for your help! I promise I wasn't jonesing for crits, but I'm so grateful to you for your advice. You're awesome!

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

Bye paperback, you have a nice night - boy this place is dead, lol.

misslissy · May 1, 2011

I'm popping in but fading quickly. Need to talk political things lol.

parumpdragon · May 1, 2011

Political...?

pezie · May 2, 2011

Good morning, everyone.

amlptj · May 2, 2011

Good morning!

Old People Writing for Teens, IV

Paperbackwriter

I sometimes hiccup fire

I sometimes hiccup fire

I sometimes hiccup fire

Paperbackwriter

I sometimes hiccup fire

I sometimes hiccup fire

Mother Flippin' Rhymnosorous

I sometimes hiccup fire

I sometimes hiccup fire

Mother Flippin' Rhymnosorous

I sometimes hiccup fire

Mother Flippin' Rhymnosorous

I sometimes hiccup fire

I sometimes hiccup fire

Paperbackwriter

Paperbackwriter

I sometimes hiccup fire

Only a sassbucket sometimes.

I sometimes hiccup fire

Speling & grammer murderer, Sorrie!