The Line of the Day--NO CRITTING

BfloGal · Jun 21, 2011

kaitie said:
Omg. I so read that the wrong way.

Good thing that line is not in my WIP. :roll:

Diana W. · Jun 21, 2011

Several framed awards adorned one wall.

I looked closer.

Marksmanship awards.

Oh, wonderful. Oh well, look on the bright side. At least if he had cause to shoot at me I wouldn't have to worry about ending up maimed for life.

Unless of course he wanted to maim me for life.

Ken Hoss · Jun 21, 2011

From my current WIP. Kelli is out at Riker's and is waiting to talk to the man that shot her partner. His Public Defender is starting to get under her skin. She has just asked one of the guards what is taking so long and he rushes off to find out.

Kelli turned, took a deep breath and slowly released it. “Yeah, you do that,” she said under her breath and walked to the other side of the room. She glanced over at the attorney and he was still drumming his fingers on the metal table. “Do you really have to do that?”

He looked up at her and smiled. “Only if it bothers you,” he said and continued drumming.

Diana W. · Jun 21, 2011

Ken Hoss said:
From my current WIP. Kelli is out at Riker's and is waiting to talk to the man that shot her partner. His Public Defender is starting to get under her skin. She has just asked one of the guards what is taking so long and he rushes off to find out.

LOL. I like it. Good response there at the end.

heyjude · Jun 21, 2011

I love this thread.

tarak · Jun 21, 2011

Nice one, Ken!

Wrote this today. My MC has had a crappy day.

I slid the phone into my back pocket, and closed my eyes. Convinced I could taste the putrid smell coming from the door panel next to me, I shoved my face against my knees. After several bouts of compulsive swallowing, I inhaled, my nose mashed tight to the dirty fabric of my BDUs. Too bad the mud, pine, and grass that stained my pants couldn’t also mask the image of that face staring at me through the window.

Ken Hoss · Jun 21, 2011

Oooh, tarak, very vivid. I could almost smell it. Nice! Gross, but a good line.

heyjude · Jun 22, 2011

Yikes! I don't wanna know... but I kind of do...

Guardian · Jun 22, 2011

Coincidence, you could say, but f*ck you, it's magic!!!

tarak · Jun 22, 2011

Guardian - I think magic explains a lot of things. Like the internet.

heyjude said:
Yikes! I don't wanna know... but I kind of do...

Ask (sort of) and you shall receive. Here's that image. It needs to be creepier though, I think.

The man stood, unmoving, by the driver's side window. His skin was albino-pale, and sores covered his face. His mouth hung open, exposing small, jagged teeth stained red. He leaned closed, and the window fogged up from his breath.

Diana W. · Jun 22, 2011

From my new WIP Eye of the Beholder, I just started today:

[FONT=Courier New, monospace]"Todd Marchant may not look like much, but he had us chasing our tails for too long.”[/FONT]

[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Lauren grinned. “Now now he'll have to watch his tail in prison.”[/FONT]

Diana W. · Jun 22, 2011

And this one, also from Eye of the Beholder.

[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Todd looked at her, hopefully. “What did she say?”[/FONT]

[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Lauren grinned. “Oh, you don't want to know. I wouldn't want to lower your masculinity any further.”[/FONT]

Ken Hoss · Jun 22, 2011

The man stood, unmoving, by the driver's side window. His skin was albino-pale, and sores covered his face. His mouth hung open, exposing small, jagged teeth stained red. He leaned closed, and the window fogged up from his breath.

Zombie Apocalypse!

Are they gone yet?

Diana W. · Jun 22, 2011

Ewww. Very...er...descriptive there Mr Hoss!

heyjude · Jun 22, 2011

MrWrite said:
Ewww. Very...er...descriptive there Mr Hoss!

No, no, ~~blame~~ credit where ~~blame's~~ credit's due. He was quoting tarak.

Love your lines, MrW.

Diana W. · Jun 22, 2011

Ahh ok. So that's where the ~~blame~~ credit goes.

Thanks jenn, I'm enjoying my new project!

Ken Hoss · Jun 22, 2011

MrWrite said:
Ewww. Very...er...descriptive there Mr Hoss!

As HJ pointed out, not my lines. that would be tarak. I don't do "Horror", just murder and mayhem. :evil

tarak · Jun 22, 2011

Not a zombie apocalypse. I swear.

ironmikezero · Jun 22, 2011

As the first trooper on the accident scene, Frank knew it would be bad, but after twenty years and hundreds of vehicle crashes he was pretty much inured to the sanguine spectacle. However, he had come to hate the civilians who stared, the rubberneckers and looky-loos who slowed down to gawk and say the most stupid-assed things... like this sedan slowing to a creep.

"Wow! Holy Shit! Is everybody all right?"

He knew he shouldn't do it, but some ironic sense of righteous indignation lifted his arm toward the rolling car, his hand gripping the severed head by the blood-matted hair.

"Well, this guy's not doing too good."

As the car sped off, Frank knew he'd be having an uncomfortable meeting with his captain at shift change. But what the hell - it'd been worth it.

Ken Hoss · Jun 22, 2011

Ironmikezero, I love that line. Wish I had done that when I was on the job.

ironmikezero · Jun 22, 2011

Ken, I can't take credit for the inspiration. I knew a guy on the job who pulled a similar stunt (with a different body part) - and got suspended for five days. Needless to say, he was a squadroom hero and destined to become an urban legend in LE circles.

- Mike

Diana W. · Jun 22, 2011

Mike, I agree that's a great little segment.

heyjude · Jun 22, 2011

ironmikezero said:
Ken, I can't take credit for the inspiration. I knew a guy on the job who pulled a similar stunt (with a different body part) - and got suspended for five days. Needless to say, he was a squadroom hero and destined to become an urban legend in LE circles.

- Mike

It's even better knowing this.

Diana W. · Jun 22, 2011

There's no crime in taking inspiration from real life events and tweaking them to fit in our stories.

heyjude · Jun 22, 2011

Oh yeah. Makes it all the better.

The Line of the Day--NO CRITTING

Lost in a plot hole

I'm evolving

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

I'm evolving

Making my own sunshine

for certain qualities of "sane"

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

Making my own sunshine

just the worst honestly

for certain qualities of "sane"

I'm evolving

I'm evolving

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

I'm evolving

Making my own sunshine

I'm evolving

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

for certain qualities of "sane"

practical experience, FTW

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

practical experience, FTW

I'm evolving

Making my own sunshine

I'm evolving

Making my own sunshine