Scenes from a hat!

S.J. · Aug 11, 2011

5. David Cameron: *doodles 'D.C 4 N.C' inside a giant heart on his notepad*

Bad things to hear at a New Year's party

parumpdragon · Aug 11, 2011

1. Ah, that sparkler is a little too close, and your dress is on fire.

Kaiser-Kun · Aug 11, 2011

2. "LAST CHANCE, MORTALS"

VeryVerity · Aug 11, 2011

3. We've run out of beer. In fact, we've run out of alcohol. Sorry. What we do have is mint cordial. We hope that's ok with you all.

druid12000 · Aug 11, 2011

"Um, that ball seems to be coming down awfully fast...OH MY GOD NO, RUN Ryan RUN!"

parumpdragon · Aug 11, 2011

5. Is it supposed to flash and pop like that and then just go black?

Things little boys/girls say that no one really wants or needs to hear.

poetinahat · Aug 11, 2011

1. "You forgot to wash your hands!"

SaraP · Aug 11, 2011

2. Ewwwww, you've got cooties!

druid12000 · Aug 11, 2011

3. I hear mommy and daddy groaning at night while I'm trying to sleep.

Silent Rob · Aug 12, 2011

4. "Daddy, does that lady have a penis?"

parumpdragon · Aug 12, 2011

5. (as the cashier repeatedly scans the groceries and the register beeps incessantly) Careful Mommy, she's backing up!

What a Rockstar might say to a persistent groupie, who won't give up, or go away - without an autograph or photo with their hero.

druid12000 · Aug 12, 2011

1. Right, you'll find a pen down here...yes, yes, behind the zipper...

parumpdragon · Aug 12, 2011

2. Maybe later you can come up to the room for another signing...

Albedo of Zero · Aug 12, 2011

3. Mom, can't you stay home at least one night of the tour?

Kaiser-Kun · Aug 12, 2011

4. *spits away* Go fetch!

archerjoe · Aug 13, 2011

5. I know we were cellmates but I'd like to put all that behind me.

Bad pickup lines on the beach

Kaiser-Kun · Aug 13, 2011

1. Hey baby, wanna see the sea from my windows? Huh, you can from your hotel room? Uh... ok, later.

iLion · Aug 14, 2011

2. Excuse me... I can't quite reach.. could you just brush the sand off my ass, please?

poetinahat · Aug 14, 2011

3. I love this beach... it's a great place to catch crabs, don'tcha think? :e2brows:

Silent Rob · Aug 15, 2011

4. Want to see my conger eel?

Kaiser-Kun · Aug 15, 2011

5. Hey baby, I heard you were a real "beach"! Ehehe... eeehh...

Lame prototype versions of classic pranks

poetinahat · Aug 15, 2011

1. Filling the fridge with sneakers, because it's "running"

archerjoe · Aug 16, 2011

2. Is Prince Albert in the vicinity of your store?

SWest · Aug 16, 2011

3. Child-Safe Snakes in a Can...

Silent Rob · Aug 17, 2011

4. Mowing the neighbour's lawn while they're not looking, tidying up their dahlias and then running away.

Scenes from a hat!

Addict? I can quit whenever I want!

I sometimes hiccup fire

!

Aliens ate my homework

You're out of your tree...

I sometimes hiccup fire

Numbers are beautiful

You can't forget those you've loved

You're out of your tree...

Riff-Raff

I sometimes hiccup fire

You're out of your tree...

I sometimes hiccup fire

That didn't hurt

!

!

Why do I say these things?

Numbers are beautiful

Riff-Raff

!

Numbers are beautiful

In the garden...

Riff-Raff