Scenes from a hat!

Silent Rob · Apr 5, 2012

3. Adam Sandler as Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon 5

Snowstorm · Apr 6, 2012

4. Adam Sandler as Victor-Victoria

Williebee · Apr 6, 2012

pfft.

5. Adam Sandler is:

"Batman"

Things the Flight Attendant might whisper to you during a long flight.

archerjoe · Apr 6, 2012

1. Want to help me with my D.B. Cooper fantasy?

Lavern08 · Apr 7, 2012

2. Pardon me, but have you seen...

Kaiser-Kun's keys?

Fallen · Apr 8, 2012

3 Do you want to watch Seconds from Disaster?

archerjoe · Apr 8, 2012

4. Do you speak jive?

Chris P · Apr 9, 2012

5. Sir, there is nothing on the wing.

Five things you least want to overhear while a cop has you stopped for speeding.

archerjoe · Apr 9, 2012

1. Sir, I need to perform a field test to determine if you're an extra-terrestrial being.

Kaiser-Kun · Apr 9, 2012

2. The hand coming out of your trunk flipped me off.

Fallen · Apr 9, 2012

3 He looks nothin like the bloke that was doing your missuss

SWest · Apr 9, 2012

*coffee sinus cleanse*

4. "You're right--she looked younger while the vehicle was moving..."

Snowstorm · Apr 9, 2012

5. It won't take you long to repack your moving van.

Five things you'd love to hear on CNN.

Fallen · Apr 9, 2012

1 The English didn't do it.

Snowstorm · Apr 9, 2012

2. Sara Palin is giving up politics and will retire to actually use her passport.

archerjoe · Apr 9, 2012

3. We admit it: this is the Celebrity News Network.

Lavern08 · Apr 10, 2012

5. CNN: Isn't it obvious we really don't care about unbiased journalism any more?

Celebrity charity events you'd rather not see:

archerjoe · Apr 10, 2012

1. Nicki Minaj's "Even More Junk in the Trunk"

Silent Rob · Apr 10, 2012

2. America's next homeless pussycat doll

Kaiser-Kun · Apr 10, 2012

3. Leave it to Bieber

Lavern08 · Apr 11, 2012

4. The Joan Rivers Depends Red Carpet Race

Kaiser-Kun · Apr 11, 2012

5. COPS: Zimmerman and Coulter

Delivering horrible news to children in a kid-friendly way

Williebee · Apr 11, 2012

1. That funny looking man in the market? The man with the big wiry coat on? He fell down and went BOOM!

Silent Rob · Apr 12, 2012

2. That's right, little jimmy. Ms. Palin is going to be the most important mommy in the country!

Fallen · Apr 12, 2012

3 Sorry son, he pegged it. (couldn't face telling my 5yr old our cat had died, so told him to go 'talk' to dad. And that was it. Great.)