I HIGHLY recommend you check out the SYW forum. I have becomes obsessed with that place. Yes, reading is essential to becoming a better writer. However I've been reading since I was a zygote: necessary, but not the end all be all of writing prose.
Actually writing is essential too, however, like bicycles, you will screw up at first.
Enter SYW, the people on there tell you why you fall. It is amazing. You need guts and skin 10 feet thick, but they have the best of intentions, and are probably nicer than the editors and whatnot when you try to sub stuff or get published/reviewed.
As a budding writer, such as I, you won't learn much using your own perspective on your own work, because that's all you'll experience. But on these forums I have learned so much showing and telling, narrative distance, POV, head hopping, purple prose, grammatical aspect, deus ex machina, etc., the list goes on. Point is, through this question forum, and the SYW forum, I feel like my writing skills has increased more than any other time frame in my life.
I also recommend you try critiquing other pieces in SYW, because that's where I learned on my detection skills. For some reason, detecting flaws in your own work is the trickiest. When I read other peoples stuff, the errors are easier to see. I got a lot of "you're telling here, and here, and there" in my critiques. I knew *what* telling was, I've read, like you, books, and blogs by authors, but the only way I could recognize it is if I read someone else's work, and then I went, "so THAT'S what telling looks like."
And then, I starting detecting it as I wrote.
I'm no telling and showing master yet by all means, but you learn something new with every post you write or read, so I am much better off now than before.
Point is, learning from here gives you ever tool needed to be mentally equipped for success. You have the drive, you have the modesty, you are set really, all you need to do is put in them 10,000 hours of mastery
And, to fully answer your question, I did feel that way. I read my writing, and knew something was off but didn't know what. I felt it was hopeless. I was angry at college for taking up every drop of free time, I was frustrated how I never fulfilled my own time demands, rose to my expectations. But this website is such a confidence booster, because for me, my confidence comes in my skill. And when I first made this account, I really didn't participate. Then I did, and I even asked this exact question I think half a year ago. I learned more after I each question I posted or read. Then, I finally submitted something to SYW. I specifically asked for a rough crit, since those are the most honest, and I got one haha. But I'm glad I did, because I learned. It's all history from there, I just got better. I think it would be silly to say I'm "good," but now I know how to achieve "good writer" status.
happy growing, happy writing