Most Frequent Critique Responses

CrastersBabies · Sep 6, 2013

I had no clue under the sun where this would fit on the board, so I'm putting it here.

I'm looking to make a list of the most frequent critique responses that we, as writers, receive on our work. Whether it's in SYW here, something from beta readers or writing group, or something you might hear from agents, editors or instructors/mentors.

For example, I hear from my writing group that I need more internalization from certain characters.

Something that a friend hears a lot is that her dialogue sounds stilted.

What do you hear frequently in your critiques? I'm not doing this to make people feel bad, but to get a general idea of what we (as a group) hear the most.

jaksen · Sep 6, 2013

From magazines: Not right for us. Or, not what we're looking for.

From agents: Hard to place. Don't have the right contacts to place this correctly.

buz · Sep 6, 2013

Most common one I get is some variation of "what?" or "I don't know what this means" or "this is confusing" or "there's too much going on here" or "there's a lack of clarity in your worldbuilding," etc.

Lack of focus is a big one, too.

Dead-horse beating and lack of description are also significant issues...

Unnecessary words.

Shitty endings.

The voice...a variety of opinions about the voice...I don't even know anymore.

Subplot or peripheral character doesn't seem to have a purpose...

...yeah. *reflects on how much she sucks and goes to brood in a corner*

ETA: If it's helpful, the ones I *give* most often...

Unnecessary words.

Character is not flawed enough, or else they inhabit a world that is not flawed enough--some degree of perfection is poisoning the manuscript.

Character is one-dimensional.

I lost faith in the author after one too many inaccuracies, stereotypes, or predictable events.

I lost faith in the tension of the story because potentially dangerous events always deflate with no significant bad consequences (three times is usually my limit).

Subplot or peripheral character doesn't seem to have a purpose; Chekhov's gun did not go off; something carefully introduced doesn't seem to have meaning later.

Overuse of a certain word.

Massive infodumping/too much backstory/story actually starts on page 50 or something.

Too predictable.

Dead-horse beating.

Oh yeah..."telling not showing," although I'm so sick of that phrase I hate writing it now...

Karen Junker · Sep 6, 2013

When I was an editor for a small romance publisher, we had a list of stock rejection reasons that we could include in our rejection letters. Some of the items were:

Too many POV switches
Shifting tense
Not fitting the romance 'formula'
Too many anachronisms
Too much telling rather than showing
Goal, motivation and conflict unclear
Pacing choppy or too slow
Not starting in the right place
Overuse of a word or phrase
Mechanics (typos, grammar, punctuation or spelling)
Setting is unclear

These are just a few examples. When I crit, I usually mention any that apply to the work, which means the manuscript will have a lot of comments or corrections on it. The upshot is that most people I have offered to crit for have not taken me up on doing their whole manuscript (after seeing the detail I go into on their first chapter). The ones who stick with me usually end up getting published or at least get an agent!

I'm trying to crit differently now--I simply do not mention stuff I think could use work. People don't always want nitpicky help or criticism, they want to receive validation for their good work.

CrastersBabies · Sep 6, 2013

buzhidao said:
Most common one I get is some variation of "what?" or "I don't know what this means" or "this is confusing" or "there's too much going on here" or "there's a lack of clarity in your worldbuilding," etc.

Lack of focus is a big one, too.

Dead-horse beating and lack of description are also significant issues...

Unnecessary words.

Shitty endings.

The voice...a variety of opinions about the voice...I don't even know anymore.

...yeah. *reflects on how much she sucks and goes to brood in a corner*

I don't think it points to "suckitude" at all! It points to self-awareness in a sense. Seems like you know your rejections well and that's probably the first step in fixing stuff!

Karen Junker said:
When I was an editor for a small romance publisher, we had a list of stock rejection reasons that we could include in our rejection letters. Some of the items were:

Too many POV switches
Shifting tense
Not fitting the romance 'formula'
Too many anachronisms
Too much telling rather than showing
Goal, motivation and conflict unclear
Pacing choppy or too slow
Not starting in the right place
Overuse of a word or phrase
Mechanics (typos, grammar, punctuation or spelling)
Setting is unclear

These are just a few examples. When I crit, I usually mention any that apply to the work, which means the manuscript will have a lot of comments or corrections on it. The upshot is that most people I have offered to crit for have not taken me up on doing their whole manuscript (after seeing the detail I go into on their first chapter). The ones who stick with me usually end up getting published or at least get an agent!

I'm trying to crit differently now--I simply do not mention stuff I think could use work. People don't always want nitpicky help or criticism, they want to receive validation for their good work.

Wow, this is extremely helpful. I've heard those as well at some point in my writing "career."

AshleyEpidemic · Sep 6, 2013

I tend to get: This came off a bit flat to me; Let me know what the character is thinking; This feels a bit rushed; I don't get why this character is doing this; This feels a bit slow; I don't like your MC.

I don't know why everyone hates my MCs and loves my other leads, but secondary characters.

buz · Sep 6, 2013

CrastersBabies said:
I don't think it points to "suckitude" at all! It points to self-awareness in a sense. Seems like you know your rejections well and that's probably the first step in fixing stuff!

Lawlz I am very good at first steps. It's all the other ones that turn into a problem for me

Thanks, Crasters.

Literateparakeet · Sep 6, 2013

Descriptions.

It is funny and mildly embarrassing to admit, but in my crit group I used to tell a friend that she had too much description, and she in turn said I needed more. I scratched my head at that because I really didn't know what she meant or where I would put it.

Then I put my fiction writing on hold for a little while, and have been working on non-fiction. One day while reading a novel, it hit me...the subtle descriptions that add so much to a scene--that is what I was missing. I finally understood what my friend was trying to tell me.

I'm a slow learner, LOL!

The most frequent advice I see/give in SYW is show don't tell.

Reziac · Sep 6, 2013

Not enough explanation!!

aimeestates · Sep 6, 2013

Overdone reactions from characters is my number one (talking about my writing here). Use exclamations points sparingly, and avoid using "HOLY CRAP THE SKY IS FALLING" responses whenever possible.

Riley · Sep 6, 2013

It wasn't on this board, but I had a critique partner who repeatedly scorched me for lack of clarity. Oh, and for describing an alien's face as "like the back of a surinam toad".

ZerosJourney · Sep 6, 2013

What I've received a lot of:
--Not enough description (particularly of characters)
--Need more internalization/reaction of POV character
--MC isn't bad, but secondary character is more interesting (This one in particular too a while to sink in. I know know they were trying to tell me that I was so concerned with making my MC "relatable" and "likeable" that I gave all the interesting quirks and flaws to characters that readers weren't "supposed" to identify with.)
--Either under-explaining or over-explaining (depending on the story and narrator.)

Critiques I've given a lot:
--Head-hopping/POV drift
--Scientific inaccuracies/general implausibility
--Story starts too early
--Climax doesn't build enough, or is too easy, or victory belongs to someone other than the MC
--Pacing issues (normally this has to do with relationships resolving too early, info dumps, or backstory overload early in the novel.)

HapiSofi · Sep 6, 2013

Remarks that won't appear in the rejection letter:

Reading this felt like work, not pleasure.

Oh god, it's another one of those scenes.

Your characters are stupid. They are doing stupid things.

Your characters have stupid names.

Aaaargh, cerulean orbs, die die die.

Yeah, I watched Buffy too.

You can't do that at night in a pre-industrial culture.

You want kowtowing, not cow towing. Big difference.

Don't explain. It isn't helping.

F*ck backstory, get on with the story.

History, politics, medicine, horses, guns.

Your favorite scenes don't connect with the rest of the work.

I am bored. Bored bored bored. You suck.

This falls apart at the end.

This ends on a false note.

Way too many sentences need fixing.

And:

You have become morbidly over-conscious of he said/she said. Unless they're grossly overused, dialogue tags are invisible to the readers. Lose the saidbookisms.

You have become morbidly over-conscious of your repeated use of characters' names. Stop substituting descriptive epithets. You're allowed to use proper names more than once per paragraph when you're describing complex interactions.

(Written by an editor friend of mine; used with permission.)

Ken · Sep 6, 2013

... "your characters are flat as a pancake,
and not nearly as tasty."

Reziac · Sep 6, 2013

HapiSofi said:
You want kowtowing, not cow towing. Big difference.

Ken said:
... "your characters are flat as a pancake,
and not nearly as tasty."

I had to clean my monitor. Twice.

Kathl33n · Sep 6, 2013

"Head hopping."
"POV is not clear."
"Who's POV are we in?"
"What do you mean by this?"

And because I'm soooooo wordy, "Consider deleting."

J.S.F. · Sep 6, 2013

Most of the time I've gotten "This simply does not fit what we're looking for"...even though I've written it in the genre THEY WANTED!

"This does not match our needs."

My favorite one was--this happened only once--"This is not something we're interested in publishing and we are not recommending that anyone else does it, either."

Yeah, I take rejection well...

HapiSofi · Sep 6, 2013

Reziac said:
I had to clean my monitor. Twice.

Cow towing is from a list on Making Light.

Additional items there include hare’s breath escape, plaintiff melody, empirical storm troopers, passed history not with standing, malice of forethought, fox paws, for all intensive purposes, Viola!, on the lamb, Post-Dramatic Stress Disorder, misquote spray (insect repellent), peachy king, wreckless driving, he gave her organism after organism, the human gnome project, cup of chino, the Straights of Hormuz, hammy downs, back round, poke-a-dotted, prime Madonna, otter confusion, take stalk of, a fine tooth-comb, mid-evil history, music played on queue, rot iron, thirty yacht six, she was fiberglasted, doesn’t pass mustard, the Klux Klutz Klan, stars in the fundament, pornographic memory, gentile organs, wring the changes, bearfooted Carmelites, a shoe-in, the Dodge of Venice, do un to others as you would have them do un to you, outer body experience, snuff said, left a gapping whole, piss pour timing, weekend by the loss of blood, root tail quartz, retaliated quartz, chorused their ascent, fracture of a second, evasive surgery, none disclosure agreement, he must be diluted, I don’t want to sound like a no-it-all, that’s mox nix, the project whithered on the vine, it's just here-say, caste dispersions, all tolled, barely registers a blimp on the radar, wreaking haddock, a fairly tail wedding, Kwanzaa huts, bonnified Scotsman, arguing in sotto voices, wanted him for breading stock, a date with a gorgeous read-head, synopses in the brain, enclosed is a synapse plus three chapters, and nothing in this world is real; it’s just an illustration.

Putputt · Sep 6, 2013

From betas:

"Yeah, we know this. You already told us like four times."
"If I see another sentence beginning with 'Despite herself, ...' I am going to hunt myself a hippo."
"You're telling right before showing. Trust the reader."

From agents:

"Dear author, thank you for your submission, but..."

DancingMaenid · Sep 6, 2013

Interesting topic!

I think the most common mechanical criticism I get is regarding unclear, ambiguous, or overly-wordy passages.

I also get a lot of suggestions about expanding scenes or adding more tension to them. I have a tendency to pull my punches too much, but with some of my betas pointing that out, I think I'm getting better.

James D. Macdonald · Sep 6, 2013

The single most-frequent note I write in margins is "antecedent?" (Usually shortened to "ante?")
The second most-frequent is "awkward." (Usually shortened to "awk.")

HapiSofi · Sep 6, 2013

J.S.F. said:
Most of the time I've gotten "This simply does not fit what we're looking for"...even though I've written it in the genre THEY WANTED!

Maybe they're also looking for other characteristics?

My favorite one was--this happened only once--"This is not something we're interested in publishing and we are not recommending that anyone else does it, either."

Yeah, I take rejection well...

Is it okay if I don't believe that last example? It's needlessly provocative and unprofessional -- not a mistake one makes more than once -- and it has a big ol' grammatical error in it. You may have gotten it from people who called themselves a publishing company, but ... no.

redfalcon · Sep 6, 2013

Word choice.
Do I really need to know this?
Did I miss something?

Reziac · Sep 6, 2013

James D. Macdonald said:
The single most-frequent note I write in margins is "antecedent?"

Got an example?

Sci-Fi Stacey · Sep 6, 2013

Your MC needs more depth, your ending doesn't really suit the MS, not what we are looking for, character development....

Most Frequent Critique Responses

Burninator!

Caped Codder

edits all posts at least four times

Live a little. Write a lot.

Burninator!

Did you see my bag?

edits all posts at least four times

Nerdy Budgie

Resident Alien

MADNESS

They won't let me be good

Cryptozoologist

Hagiographically Advantaged

Resident Alien

Questioning Everything

Red fish, blue fish...

Hagiographically Advantaged

permanently suctioned to Buz's leg

New kid...seven years ago!

Your Genial Uncle

Hagiographically Advantaged

Resident Alien