The Old Farts Bar, Grill and Infirmary

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Haggis

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Chase

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Of course it lasts forever. It's bee vomit.

And is still like to know what the fake stuff is. Better living through chemistry.

Ha ha ha, the bee vomit is stark but true. According to the Oregon apiarists association, you can almost be sure of fake honey if the label says "a product of China."

They say Asian chemists are good at overcoming the previous ban of fake honey by engineering another to pass the current tests.
 

JoeBear

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What about the generic bear bottles?
On those bear bottles, it's not real honey unless it says, "Inspected by Joe Bear" on the label.

Sami has a "Winnie the Pooh" toy in her crib, and every time I get her out of bed in the morning or after her nap, it occurs to my how appropriate that toy is.
 

PorterStarrByrd

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Have we outlived new twinkies ... I mean I know we can't outlive the ones already sitting around somewhere ... but are they going to stop making new ones?
 

JoeBear

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Have we outlived new twinkies ... I mean I know we can't outlive the ones already sitting around somewhere ... but are they going to stop making new ones?
Twinkies fans should be okay; they will always be displayed along with other antiquities from Egyptian dig sites, Stonehenge, Moundville, AL, Mayan pyramids, etc.
 

Shadow_Ferret

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Have we outlived new twinkies ... I mean I know we can't outlive the ones already sitting around somewhere ... but are they going to stop making new ones?

Bite your tongue! Someone has to buy the rights to make them! Someone has to keep producing them! I can't live in a world without Twinkies!
 

SRHowen

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Ingredients

This recipe yields 12 full-sized Twinkies, or 24 minis.

Cake:
16-ounce box golden pound cake mix
4 egg whites, beaten until stiff
2/3 cup (160mL) water

Filling:
1/4 cup (57g) non-hydrogenated shortening or coconut oil
1/4 cup (57g) margarine
1 cup (125g) powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract

The Rest:
Twinkie Molds (aluminum foil will do in a pinch)
Non-stick cooking spray
 

Shadow_Ferret

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188455_10151249574366624_1824283143_n.jpg


Ingredients

This recipe yields 12 full-sized Twinkies, or 24 minis.

Cake:
16-ounce box golden pound cake mix
4 egg whites, beaten until stiff
2/3 cup (160mL) water

Filling:
1/4 cup (57g) non-hydrogenated shortening or coconut oil
1/4 cup (57g) margarine
1 cup (125g) powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract

The Rest:
Twinkie Molds (aluminum foil will do in a pinch)
Non-stick cooking spray
No. No. No. Those aren't Twinkies. They won't taste the same. Won't have the same sticky gooey texture. Even the other packaged angel food cake imitations dont taste like Twinkies. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES.
 

Haggis

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No. No. No. Those aren't Twinkies. They won't taste the same. Won't have the same sticky gooey texture. Even the other packaged angel food cake imitations dont taste like Twinkies. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES.
No. Those would actually taste good. You need that imitation crapola coursing through your little ferret veins, don't you?
 

Shadow_Ferret

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No. Those would actually taste good. You need that imitation crapola coursing through your little ferret veins, don't you?
Blasphemer!

I won't settle for good. Twinkies are EXCELLENT and can't be made at home. Angel food is just angel food, but a Twinkie is filled with warm childhood memories.
 

Haggis

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Blasphemer!

I won't settle for good. Twinkies are EXCELLENT and can't be made at home. Angel food is just angel food, but a Twinkie is filled with warm childhood memories.
Warm childhood memories? Well, they've probably been on the store's shelf since your childhood.
 

JoeBear

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On the farm, the standard treat after chores was a casserole of egg noodles, diced pork, and sweet corn cut off the cob. Peas out of the garden when in season; diced potatoes. All smothered in canned mushroom soup and slow cooked in the oven.
Our big dinners were always fried chicken. Of course, I grew up on a chicken farm, tens of thousands of them every nine weeks. I don't eat chicken much anymore, except sometimes from KFC with fake honey.
 

Haggis

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Our big dinners were always fried chicken. Of course, I grew up on a chicken farm, tens of thousands of them every nine weeks. I don't eat chicken much anymore, except sometimes from KFC with fake honey.
:roll:

Back when I was finishing school in Buffalo, I bartended to pay the bills. The bars there used to serve a sandwich (still do I understand) that consisted of a hand carved roast beef, sliced from a steamship round, and served on a special roll called kummelweck. Kummelweck is kind of like a kaiser roll, but made with kummel (a german caraway seed based liquor with an umlaut [the word "kummel" not the liquor itself]) and topped with kosher salt (the roll, not the liquor). We served it with horseradish and a dill pickle on the side. The bartenders carved the beef. I got so I could cut it so thin you could almost see through it.

Every Friday about a minute before midnight, the Catholics flocked to the bar. I always started slicing ahead. :D

Eventually I got so sick of roast beef I couldn't eat it for a couple of years after I finally left that job. I'm better now.
 
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