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Old 05-29-2010, 02:15 PM   #1
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Wrong Done Write
So, this here is a world building challenge thread, based off a writing exercise I picked up from sci-fi author Timothy Zahn. What he did was he gave us (us being a class of young whippersnappers) a series of...shall we say...less than perfect world building bits. As he explained: Worlds have to have some kind of stability, or else they collapse under their contradictions.

And then we were asked to come up with ways to "fix" the world, make it more plausible and less likely to collapse or raise uncomfortable questions about why X, Y or Z aren't happening this way, that way, or the other way.

I found it to be a great exercise, and a lot of my story ideas and musings have started to come from taking a shit story, world or scene and redoing it in my mind to...not suck.

So I thought, why not ask other people to join so I can steal their ideas?

And so, here is the Wrong Done Write Contest Thread. Wheee.

The rules are simple: I bring up a world that is unstable or has a major problem or contradiction or flaw, taken from various places...then we work together to...fix it through various zany ways.

And if you guys have any suggestions for worlds that we can fix, just PM them to me. Cause God knows, I can't think of everything.

So let us begin, my lovelies.


###

In a fantastic world of dragons, elves and star wars rip offs, a order of dragon knights once kept peace in the kingdom. But then they began to fight amongst one another and were betrayed by the first and only King to lead an Empire. Everyone talks about how grand, good, nice and awesome the old dragon knights were, but our only two examples of said knights (the main character and the Emperor) are psychopathic sadists.

How do you explain this dichotomy?

(and just saying "write the main character to not be a psychopathic sadist" is the easy way out.)
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:22 PM   #2
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:26 PM   #3
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Dragons are mind control devices, subtly manipulating the thoughts of those around them. The Emperor has loyal subjects near the center of the kingdom, and he fears to leave the capitol because then his dragon will stop calming the citizenry. Everyone thinks the main character is great because of similar mind control. He is in fact just as bad as the bad guy.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:42 PM   #4
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The kingdom of old was nice as long as the dragons were well fed, but now they're hungry.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:49 PM   #5
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All the good dragon knights were killed in the infighting, but people still tell idealised stories about them - it's nice to believe that there were once heroes (and by extension, might be again). The psychopathic sadists are working on ruining their group's good PR. Give them time, and the group's approval ratings will tank.
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Old 05-29-2010, 04:22 PM   #6
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This is Eragon, isn't it? xP

Let's say...

The dragonriders were glorified. They were influenced by sharing the dragons' mind all the time, and became more sadistic and less human. They turned vegetarian to try and control the dragon's bloodlust, but this didn't really work that well.

There was peace because everyone was terrified of the dragonriders, and no one dared to say anything against them (those who did were quickly executed), and so only the heroic legend was passed on. Also, people wanted heroes.

The younger generations did only hear the glorious tales, and so they thought dragonriders were glorious too.

Might be full of holes, but, yeah, that's my five cents.
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Old 05-29-2010, 05:15 PM   #7
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The dragon mind control bit is good, but what if the dragons themselves are changing in ways that subtly corrupt the riders? The problem can be traced back to the early days - and it was because of a huge mistake/magical misfire on the Emperor's part that cause the dragons to go mad/wild. Perhaps he was trying to dominate dragons more fully (instead of a partnership of knight and intelligent mount), or quell and uprising for "dragons rights" and it backfired on him. Dragons have since become untameable, no new riders can be trained up, therefore the power of the 2 remaining riders become that much more potent.

Meanwhile, the Emperor has been rewriting history to cover his tracks, but also to mystify the powers of the dragon riders even more.

The dragons themselves have become more feral, but some older ones remember the past, though they live in an almost drugged state because of the ancient mishap. They want to be free again.
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Old 05-30-2010, 12:03 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattW View Post
The dragon mind control bit is good, but what if the dragons themselves are changing in ways that subtly corrupt the riders?
Like this!
The dragons are changing because they have become too inbred because the dragon knights don't renew their gene pool by mating them with wild dragons
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Old 05-30-2010, 12:27 AM   #9
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That's right. And as it turns out, they are not down to their last dragon....

They are down to the last tame dragon, because the wild ones have learned how not to be caught, and how to disappear from prescient mindstreams.
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Old 05-30-2010, 02:06 AM   #10
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That's right. And as it turns out, they are not down to their last dragon....

They are down to the last tame dragon, because the wild ones have learned how not to be caught, and how to disappear from prescient mindstreams.
Stealth dragons.
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Old 05-30-2010, 05:45 AM   #11
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Stealth dragons.
I was actually thinking Atreides-influenced Idaho Ghola Dragons
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Old 05-30-2010, 02:09 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by waylander View Post
Like this!
The dragons are changing because they have become too inbred because the dragon knights don't renew their gene pool by mating them with wild dragons
Or the dragons are becoming too docile, weaker, smaller, less intelligent, can't fly or hunt.

The dragon rider order becomes largely ceremonial except for the last two remaining elders, lives extended through their bond with the dragons.
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Old 05-29-2010, 05:41 PM   #13
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I'm with Faide about the glorifying.

Everything that happened 'generations ago' is either unspeakably bad or ridiculously awesome. And your average psychopathic sadist, if he actually wants to go and play power-grab, needs to come over as an awesome type, at least at the beginning. What better way than to hark back to these old, awesome stories about how awesome the dragon-riders were?

We tend to whitewash our histories, because we want to feel we're more moral than we actually are; the stories of the dragon-riders which would be remembered (assuming that they ultimately did some good, or else they would fall to the other end of the spectrum), would be the good, happy, awesome ones.
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Old 05-29-2010, 07:26 PM   #14
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Chalk me up as another one who votes for glorification. Although i don't think there's too much of a contradiction actually. Villains appearing as heroes in the public eye is a pretty standard trope, so as long as the psychopaths don't advertise it, there's no problem. Not too unlikely, psychopaths can function well in society. The whole "no empathy" trait actually helps.
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Old 05-29-2010, 11:51 PM   #15
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The dragonriders were the sheriff's, marshal's, judge, jury, and executioners in their day. They kept the peace mainly by force of arms and being able to apply said force in sudden and drastic manner anytime they chose. No one questioned their authority or right to enforce "the law" as they saw it. That enforcement was often brutal and sometimes even sadistic, but on average, the dragonriders attempted to administer the law and keep the peace in a just manner.

However, over time, it came to be well known that it was not the kings, the emperors, the other systems of government that ruled the lands, it was the dragonriders - and they ruled with a velvet-gloved iron fist. Not even kings and emperors were immune from their judgements.

So, as time wore on, the kings and emperors and civil governments began to band together and eventually formed a second secret society which was aimed at eliminating the dragonriders and ending their reign of tyranny. Gradually, this secret society ground down the dragonriders by assassination and attrition until only a few, hunted and harried across the land, forced to hide their identities and abilities, were left.

Time passes. People forget. The dragonriders find their old ways elevated to veneration and adoration that approaches religion. People find themselves longing for the old days when the dragonriders brought peace to the gala..., er, land. They find war is upon them once again as various factions and rulers rise up and challenge one another for supremacy.

Then, suddenly and without warning, one old dragonrider appears from the past bent upon a quest to find and train a new, younger apprentice who must must find it within himself to rise to the challenges that lie ahead and withstand the temptations of power that corrupted the old order.
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Old 05-30-2010, 01:03 AM   #16
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Ooh, what good ideas my lovelies.

<writes them down>

Tomorrow, I will think of a new world to fix and put it here, just in case any more people got ideas I can steal...
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Old 05-30-2010, 05:08 AM   #17
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Essentially, the land has seen such a life of leaders worse and worse than the previous one that the only refuge they have is fanatic nostalgia. As soon as the new royal emperor arrives everyone will be saying how good and kind Galbatorix was.
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Old 05-30-2010, 06:08 AM   #18
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The dragons died out a generation ago, due to a disease of some sort. There are a few left (kept alive by unsavory means, no doubt), but most have the title but no power anymore.
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Old 05-30-2010, 07:48 AM   #19
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The Emperor and MC both live under a curse from the time when the dragon knights came into existence. The curse to which they agreed was in conjunction with the spirits of the otherworld. This agreement ensured possession by a demon of destruction if they proved incapable of upholding the knights' honour. For many centuries, this agreement kept the knights in line. When the Emperor and MC get involved in sinister dealings unfit for a dragon knight, they are possessed of these demons whose mission it is to destroy their soul. However, the strength of the dragon knight turns this into a struggle, their minds and bodies are strong and over the years the demon has not managed to kill them.

The demons who possess them are sadistic and turn to others around the Emperor and MC and inflict pain upon them.
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Old 05-30-2010, 07:59 AM   #20
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As this seems to have happened a while ago, would not the MC and the Emperor be somewhat old?

Senility and craziness cover a lot of ground
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Old 05-30-2010, 12:20 PM   #21
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All right, time for round two. And this one it'll be a good one...yesssss.

Author: So, we're going to be creative. Lets make vampires different!
Agent: Rightio.
Author: Lets make them NOT burst into flames, NOT need human blood to live, and have a bunch of cool powers. Also, their skin is diamond hard, they are super fast, strong, and can only be killed by dismemberment and being lit on fire. None of this stake, holy water, crosses malarky. They are also immortal and can create more of themselves.
Agent: Right...right...<eats a hot dog>
Author: And they live in secret around us, with us being none the wiser, beause they don't go out in the day, because if they go out in the day, they...glitter! Like a Disco Ball
Agent: I'm calling the editor right now! But wait, why are they living in secret? If they're amoral killing machines - excepting those that don't drink human blood - then why haven't they taken over the world and shit? Cause if sunlight can't hurt them, stakes don't stop them, holy items won't slow them down, they never ever sleep, and they're practically indestructible AND they can propagate at an exponential rate...how does anyone stop them?



Hmm, this is a tough one. The simplest answer is to give them a traditional vampire weakness that makes them less unstoppable. But I like doing things the hard way BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I ROLL!

Here's my take on it: Vampire psychology is their one weakness. The lack of a soul also robs them, over the centuries, of common sense and planning skills. Slowly, vampires are reduced to more and more one...childish. Petulant. Short-sighted. By the time they're hundreds of years old, they can barely focus on the next hour, let alone the next few hundred years.

That is the tragedy of the main character: He is no more immune from this slow degradation of mental faculties. His "family" practices "vegan" vampirism in the hopes that it will slow down the degradation, but they're not sure if it will work or not. Which is why the main character is going to high school now: He used to work in adult businesses like art, writing, poetry...but then the years passed. His brain degraded and he went to college, trying to blend in there. But now his mind is so immature that he's at high school.

That could make for a very poignant scene: Where he reads beautiful poetry to the love interest, poetry he loves...but he could never write anything as good. And who wrote it? Him...seventy years ago.

So, the bad vampires have not taken over the world because younger bad vampires can easily take them down...their brains are still working easily. So there is a cycle of killing and stuff.

Yeah.
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Old 05-31-2010, 03:01 AM   #22
Rhys Cordelle
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Originally Posted by Zoombie View Post

Author: So, we're going to be creative. Lets make vampires different!
Agent: Rightio.
Author: Lets make them NOT burst into flames, NOT need human blood to live, and have a bunch of cool powers. Also, their skin is diamond hard, they are super fast, strong, and can only be killed by dismemberment and being lit on fire. None of this stake, holy water, crosses malarky. They are also immortal and can create more of themselves.
Agent: Right...right...<eats a hot dog>
Author: And they live in secret around us, with us being none the wiser, beause they don't go out in the day, because if they go out in the day, they...glitter! Like a Disco Ball
Agent: I'm calling the editor right now! But wait, why are they living in secret? If they're amoral killing machines - excepting those that don't drink human blood - then why haven't they taken over the world and shit? Cause if sunlight can't hurt them, stakes don't stop them, holy items won't slow them down, they never ever sleep, and they're practically indestructible AND they can propagate at an exponential rate...how does anyone stop them?


Yeah.
That's just fundamentally and irrevocably flawed....
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Old 05-31-2010, 03:58 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by Rhys Cordelle View Post
That's just fundamentally and irrevocably flawed....
Throw in some angst, melodrama, Mary Sueisms, and vampires that don't look or act like any incarnation of vampires ever, and you can come full circle from dreadful back to publishable (and filmworthy!)
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Old 05-31-2010, 04:25 AM   #24
Rhys Cordelle
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Throw in some angst, melodrama, Mary Sueisms, and vampires that don't look or act like any incarnation of vampires ever, and you can come full circle from dreadful back to publishable (and filmworthy!)
These are a few of my least favourite things
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Old 05-30-2010, 04:05 PM   #25
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Sounds like Twilight meets Flowers for Algernon...


The question is - what stops the young vampires from taking over the world? If an ambitious vampire creates hundreds of followers, and they create thousands, and then its millions in a short time.

What if the degrading mental faculties comes from the simple act of ingesting human blood? Could be likened to Stephen King's The End of the Whole Mess. That which makes them immortal, also makes them idiots.

If there are millions of these things out there, getting dumber over time but exponentially growing, it's either an unstoppable plague for humanity, or a desperate fight for survival for both species. the predator/prey balance will be off and something will have to give in to restore balance.
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Last edited by MattW; 05-30-2010 at 04:07 PM.
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