Help with a troublesome chapter? (Fantasy)

kelloish · 03-22-2011, 09:48 PM

Hi all! I'm looking for a beta/critique for one chapter that is giving me a bit of a headache. I'm still on the first draft of this story, about a dozen chapters in but chapter 2 has become a major roadblock for me. I could really use some input and suggestions on it as while I'm not focusing on edits right now, it's just driving me a little crazy and is by far the weakest point in my story.

The genre is fantasy... kind of urban fantasy/alternate reality. The chapter focuses on my MC being kidnapped and brought to an alternate version of our world and imprisoned. There is very little dialogue and I feel like I just can't seem to show instead of tell. Seriously, the more I try to tweak it, the worse I'm making it.

Any help would be much appreciated, just let me know if you're interested. I am of course willing to beta anything for you to repay the favor

Keyaroscuro · 03-22-2011, 10:25 PM

Sure, a chapter I can do. Feel free to shoot me a PM.

TDR · 03-31-2011, 08:06 PM

I'm a middle grade urban fantasy author and I'm willing to take a look at it for you. Shoot me a pm.

T

03-22-2011, 09:48 PM	#1
kelloish figuring it all out Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 95	Help with a troublesome chapter? (Fantasy) Hi all! I'm looking for a beta/critique for one chapter that is giving me a bit of a headache. I'm still on the first draft of this story, about a dozen chapters in but chapter 2 has become a major roadblock for me. I could really use some input and suggestions on it as while I'm not focusing on edits right now, it's just driving me a little crazy and is by far the weakest point in my story. The genre is fantasy... kind of urban fantasy/alternate reality. The chapter focuses on my MC being kidnapped and brought to an alternate version of our world and imprisoned. There is very little dialogue and I feel like I just can't seem to show instead of tell. Seriously, the more I try to tweak it, the worse I'm making it. Any help would be much appreciated, just let me know if you're interested. I am of course willing to beta anything for you to repay the favor Last edited by kelloish; 03-22-2011 at 09:59 PM.

03-22-2011, 10:25 PM	#2
Keyaroscuro Zombie Fanatic 2.0 Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Utah, USA Posts: 173	Sure, a chapter I can do. Feel free to shoot me a PM. __________________ Website \| Twitter “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” -Winston Churchill

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03-31-2011, 08:06 PM	#3
TDR New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 5	I'm a middle grade urban fantasy author and I'm willing to take a look at it for you. Shoot me a pm. T