Anyone With a Crystal Ball?

[Undercover]

I know I know, "Impatience" plagues us all, but for me it becomes sickly. (Manic-depressive here)

So I have a YA mystery/thriller I wrote and connected with my agent in less then a week. I got over that surreal hurdle, which I still can't seem to grasp. Well, it's been two and a half months and 4 declined, with really sweet comments, but still a decline is always disappointing. I even cried my eyeballs out when I found that out.

I do have one interested (which is one I submitted to before I connected with my agent) and then afterwards showed an interest and is now communicating with my agent, so okay fine.

But I am getting these subbed to publishers like Simon Pulse and Razorbill and even Random House, which I consider if I connect with them, that would be like the chances of winning the lotto. SO I geared myself for disappointment, but when it came, I crumbled.

So my agent told me to revise, while she pitches it to more places, cool okay great! But here I am doing the very same thing, gearing myself up for the disappointment. But not quite ready for the bomb to drop.

Honestly, I don't even know how I got this far. And honestly I don't know how much more I can take. We only have a 6 month contract together (my agent and I) and even though she did say she might extend it if we don't connect by then, I worry about that too.

I also worry she won't like my other YA novel I have stored for her when she is ready. She told me to hold off on giving it to her, till more feedback comes in with the one she is repping now.

OMG! though, WTF! I am bamboozled with doubt and fear and worry and I'm impatient on top of it.

So I revised and emailed it back to her, which she still needs to read. And I am confident she will like it, maybe tell me to change something here and there, but still. She believes in me more then I believe in myself.

I don't even know what I'm trying to say, just had to vent again. Yes, I keep busy with other things, so yeah, it's not like I'm sitting in a dark corner crying everyday and waiting at the computer 24/7 sulking over the minutes. I do have a life, I do do things. But still, it follows me everywhere!!!

How do I stop this madness? Anyone with a crystal ball? Tell me my future please! But whatever you do, don't tell me to write yet another book. I have 1 out already, a second one ready for edits, the third on sub with my agent and a fourth stored for her, like I said.

[Karen Junker]

I gave my crystal ball away years ago -- but I feel for you. Hang in there!

[Undercover]

Haha...thanks Karen! I really appreciate the listening ear!

[Sydewinder]

You are not the only one who feels that way. Seriously. I think there should be a blog post somewhere out there that discusses how mass rejection before finding an agent/publisher leaves authors with thick skin and self worth so bludgeoned and curb-stomped that a team of psychiatrists, dentists, and voodoo witch doctors couldn't fix it.

Just write another book. kidding.

[Undercover]

Haha...yeah you're tellin' me! My therapist is rich from this! (being that I've been seeing her more and more lately.) Least someone's getting paid, right? LOL

[Esmeralda]

Really horrible to know that after all we go through to get an agent, there is more waiting and teeth nashing awaiting us.

[Becca C.]

Try not to take it so personally! The rejections aren't rejecting you as a person nor even as a writer; they're rejecting that particular book because it's not right for them at this moment. That's it. Not the end of the world!

Hang in there. Whatever happens, happens! Try not to worry too much

[PinkAmy]

I have a magic-eight ball, if that counts.

I echo becca's words. Don't set yourself up for being disappointed by attaching more to your manuscript than it is. Your MS is a piece of work, one that you've poured a lot of yourself into, but it's not you. A rejection letter isn't a rejection of you, but if you have in your mind: once this gets accepted, I'll be happier or I'll feel better about myself or I'll feel better about my life...then you will be disappointed, because accomplishments don't lead to everlasting happiness.
Sure, being told NO is disappointing, but we'll all be told NO a lot more than we're told yes, so it behooves us to not take it so personally.

[Purple Rose]

Originally Posted by PinkAmy

I have a magic-eight ball, if that counts.

I echo becca's words. Don't set yourself up for being disappointed by attaching more to your manuscript than it is. Your MS is a piece of work, one that you've poured a lot of yourself into, but it's not you. A rejection letter isn't a rejection of you, but if you have in your mind: once this gets accepted, I'll be happier or I'll feel better about myself or I'll feel better about my life...then you will be disappointed, because accomplishments don't lead to everlasting happiness.
Sure, being told NO is disappointing, but we'll all be told NO a lot more than we're told yes, so it behooves us to not take it so personally.

Don't mean to sound like PinkAmy's echo every now and then, but really, I agree with this. Absolutely. So true. Great advice. Still, easier said than done.

[firedrake]

Publishing is a constant barrage of nail-biting, rejection and heartache. As Amy said, don't take it personally. It comes with the territory.

At least you have an agent who's fighting your corner and putting your work out there.

I wouldn't mind one of them, yannow?

[MikeGrant]

Self-doubt is a part of any writer. Yes, even the famous, big-time-successful ones. I feel your pain, though. I'm still trying to get an agent, and if I didn't have author friendies constantly reassuring me that my writing isn't rubbish, the process would be even worse!

[Undercover]

Yes, I believe that too. It's not me, but just my work that's being rejected, but as P. Rose had mentioned, "easier said than done."

I also feel the same as you Mike. I constantly have to be told that my work isn't horribly bad and that what I am doing isn't a total loss. Right now I am dying for my agent's feedback on my revision, even though I just gave it to her yesterday morning. But I know she'll get back to me in no more then a week. That seems to be her m.o. since we started this whole agent/author relationship.

Thank you too Pinkie, you're always right on the mark.

Firedrake, it will happen eventually, you getting an agent. Just understand, which you already do it sounds like, that it doesn't end there.

And Esmeralda and Becca (Becca I see you're in the game of YA too, so you totally can relate!) thank you both for responding and your input too!

[Phaeal]

When I feel down, I remember what Annie Savoy said in Bull Durham:

It's a long season and you gotta trust. I've tried 'em [religions] all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.

Although I substitute "Writing" for "Baseball."

[soopykun]

Hang in there! You've gotten so far, so don't doubt your talent. I guess what helps me is knowing that so much of this business is subjective. You just need to find that one right editor that will love your work as much as your agent does. And if it's not this book, then maybe the next...Just keep writing!