Describe Your WIP "Book A Minute" Style

Stellan · Feb 9, 2010

Currently drafting this one:

MILITARY MAN: So, I'm good hearted but kind of dim in social matters. I need a marriage of convenience.

HIS SIDEKICK: I'm his constant companion, and did I mention? Also a giant robot.

FIERY HEIRESS: I'm very inconvenient.

FIERY HEIRESS' GAY BEST FRIEND: I'm adorable and conflicted.

ALL: Let us inconveniently fall in love with each other!

[EXPLOSIONS fail to happen, but there's ANGST and ROBOTS IN WAISTCOATS]

maxmordon · Feb 9, 2010

D-man (extended version).

Douglas: Why I am unhappy?

Suicide Guy: 'Coz life is meaningless (commits suicide).

Family: Because you abandoned us.

Best friend: Because you try to be different.

Mad man: Because the man keeps pushing you down. Writes manifesto, bombs buildings.

Rich assholes: Because you like it that way.

Ghosts of the past: Because you feel guilty.

Minority friend: Because you're a minority within the majority.

Girlfriend: Because you don't know what you want.

Priest: Because everything is a lie.

Douglas: Oh, what's this feeling? Is this happiness? Well, yes it is, what should I do now with this new found joy? Commits suicide.

The End.

10trackers · Feb 9, 2010

Purple Tulip said:
10, when I read your post, I glazed over the bold parts that should have told me these were all different novels. I thought this was all one story!

LOL I am SO curious what you thought about the story when you thought it was just one big novel

Wicked · Feb 9, 2010

Technically, this is from a short novella, rather than a novel, but . . .

(Former lovers are reunited when bad guys double cross bad guys)

Witch: "You should thank me for bringing you back to life, even though I totally used you for my own petty vengeance."

Knight: "I liked you better when I was dead."

Kateness · Feb 9, 2010

Gamar: You're secretly a prince in exile

Rawlan: No, I'm not!

Gamar: Yes you are. Come and help kill Jaron, because he's a serious Big Bad

Rawlan: Actually, I'd sorta rather stay right here, if you don't mind.

Gamar: If you're sure...

[Gamar et al go and cause Serious Mischief]

Rawlan: Okay, okay, I'll help!

[More war ensues]

Jaron: Not a Big Bad. Seriously. They're making me do it!

Rawlan: Oh, okay. I'll be on your side.

Jaron: If you want things to get better, you've got to go kill this other king.

Rawlan: Sure, why not.

[Revelations and death and chaos]

Rawlan: Woo! King of the world I am!

Purple Tulip · Feb 9, 2010

10trackers said:
Whee!

Novel #9:

GIRL narrowly ESCAPES DEATH by the HANDS of a PSYCHO KILLER. She FLEES. GIRL narrowly ESCAPES DEATH by the HANDS of a PSYCHO KILLER SOME MORE.

Novel #10:

Girl HALLUCINATES. I would too after being chased by a psycho killer that much.

HALLUCINATION: Am I freaking you out yet?

GIRL: As a matter of fact, yes. So much so that I'm gonna kill myself.

(She DOES.) The psycho killer's work is done for him...ah the irony.

Novel #11:

Girl: I'm gonna rid my planet of those nasty robot thingies that plunged it into abject poverty. Wait...isn't she dead?

(She DOES.) But wait, isn't she dead?

Novel #12:

A FIGHT between GOOD and EVIL ERUPTS. ANGELS turn out to be WISECRACKING NUISANCES. Despite this, GOOD WINS. What did the angels have to do with the robots?

Novel #13:

VAMPIRE: Where the hell did the vampires come from?! You know how vampires are usually muscular and hot and heroic? Well, we're not. How unfortuntae. But we deserve a life too, darn it. Um...did the girl who commited suicide become a vampire?

(They don't get one.) Because they are already dead right?

Novel #14:

MAN 1 & MAN 2: We are really, really evil. What happened to the psycho killer?

GIRL: I am unaware of the concept of evil. I thought she was an ugly vampire...

MAN 1 & MAN 2: This is relevant to our interests. What the kind of genre is this?

Lots of EVIL STUFF HAPPENS. Then PEOPLE DIE. I'm so confused. My brain has been scrambled
I reread and . Then I figured I shouldn't read any more AW without my morning coffee.

***

Heh. Is there anyone who still wants to read my stuff after that?

Yeah, that is a pretty acurate reconstruction of my thoughts.

10trackers · Feb 9, 2010

*snorfle*

I dare anyone to write this book and have it make sense!

Chris P · Feb 9, 2010

Okay, why not?

++++
WIP: Paper Thin

Jimmy and Phil: You're hired, Eric! Manage our summer youth program.

Eric: Them girls lookin' fine, eh?

Jimmy and Phil: Eric? What the hell? We better buy off the judges, cops and doctors to keep this out of the papers.

Eadie: I'm a reporter and I want it in the papers.

J&P: Go away.

Eadie: Make me. [publishes]

Phil: Oh death, where is thy sting? [dies]

Eric: The old man's gone! So is my under-the-table good-old-boy-network protection.

Jimmy: I'm putting my job before my family and protecting Eric, but my wife will change my mind, God love her!

Eric's Lawyer: These girls loved every minute of it.

Jury: Guilty.

Eric: Noooooo! [jumps off bridge into traffic]

++++
Haha! That was fun!

Chris P · Feb 9, 2010

Okay, my POD novella:

++++

MC1: I'm bored an unemployed. Let's start a jazz band!

MCs 2 - 5: Yeah!

The local music scene: Lol! These guys roxx!

Greedy Promoter: I can make a quick buck off their talent and rip them off. [rips them off]

MC1: Why isn't it about the music anymore? [cries]

MC2's ex-girlfriend: I want you back [drinks self to death]

[band breaks up]

MC1: It was worth it, despite going nowhere, people dying and my friends moving away.

++++

Yeesh, what a stinker! Straight to POD.

boredmormon · Feb 9, 2010

Why not?

Here is my novella.

*****

Maria: I'm going to start a magical war that will kill all the wizards then I can be queen.

[War]

Le Han: Oh no, this planet is going to blow up because of our fighting. I better make us a new one.

Maria: I found you Le Han, now I will kill you.

Le Han: Thats okay, I already sent people away on the new planet.

[Old word blows up]

*****

Theres a sequel too, apparently Le Han didn't do a very good job building the planet...

*****

I think this might actually be worth doing before I start writing my next project, hmmm.

Wavy_Blue · Feb 9, 2010

Tee hee hee. Here we go.

My Space Opera WIP:

Izzie: Tra la la, space treasure hunting I go...

(wreckage!!!!)

Izzie: El gasp! Everyone is dead!

Reuben and Yale: I'm not dead.

Dexter: Sarcastic remarks. Skepticism. Deadpan.

(lots of stuff blows up because of big cannon!!!!)

Izzie: So what do we do now?

Reuben: Not even the author knows.

Dexter: Pessimistic skepticism...

(things happen!!!!)

THE END

Etola · Feb 11, 2010

Greve: I am a cursed and crazy princess! Tweet tweet, only the mouse prince can save me! Tweet tweet!

Tanna: To compensate for my low self-esteem and sense of worthlessness, I will totally find this mouse prince for you!

Frightened Populace: The mouse prince is a horrible monstrous sewer-dwelling half-human thief who can totally kill you with FEAR. We're going to lynch him!

Mouse Prince: Actually, I'm a really nice guy, just kinda shy. And under a curse.

Tanna: You will totally help me save the princess won't you! Yes, let's go!

Mouse Prince: ...uh...sure...

*they go on an adventure and avoid assassins and royal guards and a terrible conspiracy*

Mouse Prince: Yeah, so I kinda lied about the whole 'save the princess' thing. I'm just gonna go cower in my hole.

Tanna: You jerk! I'll save the princess myself!

Mouse Prince: I changed my mind. Let's go.

*They save the princess, undo the prince's curse, and fall in love*

RemusShepherd · Feb 12, 2010

Eh, I'm bored at work, I'll play. Not with my WIP, though, because I don't know the whole plot yet. I'll do my last novel.

PLATINUM DONKEYS:

MAGGIE: I'm not crazy. No, wait, yes I am. Should I be murdering people?
HANDLERS: Sure, as long as you make money do whatever you want.
MAGGIE: I'm running to Earth.
HANDLERS: No, don't do that.

DONKEYS: We want to save you. Also, use you to destroy the world. Also, take all your money.
MAGGIE: Screw you guys, I'm going to the police.
POLICE: We want to save you. Also, use you to oppress the world. Also, take all your money.
MAGGIE: Oh screw you guys, too.

(MAGGIE kills every other major character in the cast, saves the world, then looks around.)

MAGGIE: Okay, now I better turn myself in.

THE END.

Xelebes · Feb 19, 2010

Current WIP:

John kills people

This sucks!

The End

Wavy_Blue · Feb 19, 2010

Xelebes said:
Current WIP:

John kills people

This sucks!

The End

I'm sold!

Xelebes · Feb 20, 2010

Wavy_Blue said:
I'm sold!

That's the joy of writing literary-style fiction - you can always condense the book into ten words or less.

jallenecs · Feb 20, 2010

Can I try?

WIP:

MC's: This ghost hunt is a bad idea. we're experts, we know.

Villain: but I want to be rich and famous!

ghosts: go away!

Demon: no, stay a while and play!

DEATH and EXPLODING HEADS ensue.

MC's: told you so! Dumbass!

MumblingSage · Feb 20, 2010

Purple Tulip said:
I went to this site and found the book a minute descriptions of these classics pretty funny.

http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/sff.shtml

Using the "book a minute" style, how would you describe your WIP or completed work?

I'm afraid I can't describe my own work caustically enough. I mean, those summaries are funny, but most of them are also scathing.

LilliCray · Feb 21, 2010

Oooh... I can be plenty scathing about my crappy first attempt at a novel that only made it to 30k...

Ahem:

ALINA: I have been accused of murder, but I didn't do it. I swearz.

MIGUEL: I am the character childishly inserted to make people think there's going to be a romantic subplot, when in reality there's nothing there. Plus I'm a wimp.

DALLA: I am a convenient plot device. [Is captured.]

MIGUEL: Nooooo! My sister was kidnapped! It's all your fault!

ALINA: [Spouts some mumbo-jumbo that sounds vaguely magical.]

MIGUEL: [Saves Dalla. Is captured himself.] Oh noez.

SUMMONER: Bring me snake venom. [They do.] Sweet. Go see the unicorns.

UNICORN: I am a cliche. Even I can't see the future. Depressing. Go save the wimp.

[They do.]

JOHNN: I am the antagonist with a non-conventional spelling. Die!

[They don't. Johnn is arrested, as the guards have conveniently overheard him confess to the murder.]

EVERYONE: Yay for deus ex machina! What a philosophical ending!

-----------

...huh. That sucked. My compression skillz need serious work...

Seriously, though, I think this sort of thing can be useful--keep you from taking your work too seriously, ne? Though MumblingSage is right--it can be really caustic/scathing/suicidal-thought-inducing.

Kitty27 · Feb 21, 2010

DR

Riordan: I HATE the world. I want to suffer exquisitely and know the pain of mortals.

Calka:Bloody hell,man. We are vampires. Does a farmer fall in love with his damned sheep?

Riordan: True that. Let's kill everybody.

THE END

Art_Sempai · Feb 21, 2010

My wip in a net shell.

Miss Winsworth: I'm a sexy rich business woman, I want to hire you to find something, here's a lot of money.

Harvey:$$$$ Yes!

Goes searching...

Harvey: WTF! Plant Monsters!

Explosions
Escape

Mary:You look like crap.
Harvey:I know!

later...

Harvey:What the fuck is going on lady!?

Miss Winsworth:I can't let you live, you know to much.

Harvey:Your a sexy plant monster! Oh crap!

Boss fight!
More Monsters!
Escape

later...

Miss Winsworth 2:Work for me, I'm sexy and I want to fuck you.

Harvey:OMG! There's more of you!

Goes searching...

Harvey:Ah, found it.

Miss Winsworth:I've got Mary, lets trade.
Mary: Oh Jinkies!

Harvey:Oh crap, your still alive!

Even More Monsters!
Boss fight!
Fire
Explosions
Escape

Mary:Thanks Harv...you look like crap.

Harvey:I KNOW!!!

Miss Winsworth 2: Miss Winsworth 1 is dead woot! I Think I'll be your nemesis in future stories. I still want to fuck you.

The End

MumblingSage · Feb 21, 2010

Okay, I grew some balls and decided to scathe my stories (yes, I have multiple WIPS).

WIP The First:
Dal: An evil woman is trying to take over the world! Also, I'm a mess of angst and self-loathing from the murder I committed before the start of this novel.
Vedain: Well, we'd better do something about that taking-over-the-world thing first. In the meantime, here's a hug to tide you over.
(They do something about that taking-over-the-world thing. The hug doesn't tide Dal over, but thinks work out okay anyway).

WIP The Second:
Jenes Inarya: I want immortality.
(She gets it.)
Jenes: I want a drink.
(She gets one...and then another...then another...)
(Jenes Inarya gets drunk)
(Jenes realizes, eventually, that eternal life and alcohol don't mix)

Rhys Cordelle · Feb 21, 2010

I don't think I can play this game. It sounds painful.

Ambri · Feb 26, 2010

LOLZ, can I play?

Girl-in-disguise: Bwa-ha-ha, I am a “dashing highwayman” and I am going to rob you

Guy: Hey, that’s my pocket watch, you insolent twerp!

Girl-in-disguise: bwa-ha-ha, eat my dust

Guy: I get to ogle you bathing. Woof, woof, nice . . .everything

Girl-not-currently-in-disguise: How rude! I’m going to threaten you with my pistol.

(much traipsing about over moonlit moors, clever banter, masked balls, gunfights, duels, and assorted steamy sex follows)

Guy: so, marry me, already, but no pistols in the bedroom.

Girl: but I’ve found that to be the very best place for a pistol!

jesstherobot · Feb 28, 2010

s.thorne said:
Currently drafting this one:

MILITARY MAN: So, I'm good hearted but kind of dim in social matters. I need a marriage of convenience.

HIS SIDEKICK: I'm his constant companion, and did I mention? Also a giant robot.

FIERY HEIRESS: I'm very inconvenient.

FIERY HEIRESS' GAY BEST FRIEND: I'm adorable and conflicted.

ALL: Let us inconveniently fall in love with each other!

[EXPLOSIONS fail to happen, but there's ANGST and ROBOTS IN WAISTCOATS]

...I want to read this SO BADLY.

Okay, here's mine:

BEATRICE: Even though I am a woman in 1912, I enjoy building giant robots. La, I am so edgy and unique!
OMA: I am a woman who enjoys building giant robots as well! Let us be BFF and build killer robots to help win World War I.

World War I: is won.

BEATRICE: Oh Oma, you are my bestest friend ever.
OMA: That is a shame because I am going to meld my mind with the killer robots and transcend the human race.
BEATRICE: Why does this shit ALWAYS HAPPEN.

The end!

Describe Your WIP "Book A Minute" Style

Not that other guy

Penúltimo

Pollyanna, Shedder of Casual Blood

Outcast Rogue

Wielding power tools like an Amazon

Pollyanna, Shedder of Casual Blood

Likes metaphors mixed, not stirred

Likes metaphors mixed, not stirred

Adventure is out there!

Still looking for stars...

Delerium ex Ennui

Adventure is out there!

Delerium ex Ennui

Searching for Wonderland

Inarticulate Herb

Plot? What plot?

So Goth That I Was Born Black

Writer

Inarticulate Herb

Plotting something

so a robot walks into a bar...