Dumb Question...

Semmie,

Can't say that I know what's common. However, if the memoir is worth writing, why not use your own name? After all, the memories are yours and about your life. Seems to me that people like having their name in a book much like they do having it on TV. Also, as the main POV character, you can always report your feelings using "I felt..." rather than "he or she did..."

Having said that, try defusing potentially sensitive issues ahead of time. If that's not possible, avoid revenge, getting even, being mean, etc, etc. Then decide which battles are worth fighting and tell the truth.

Just my opinion as I've been thinking about those very issues. My next book is a memoir.

Jim

semmie said:

So...is it pretty common for memoir authors to use a pen name?

Even when material is not particularly traumatic or personal, I would imagine some friends and family members feel their lives are theirs and what gives you the right to write about them and etc. At least, this is what I imagine the feedback to be from my friends and family. Sigh.

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A memoir under a pen name would seem largely to defeat the purpose, or at least to undermine it. (Memoir is, after all, fundamentally autobiographical.) Why not exploit the material for a novel? Pen names are fine for novels. Adapt as needed to avoid putting individuals on the spot.

Much of Thomas Wolfe's stuff (the great writer of the 1930s, not today's Tom Wolfe) was autobiographical (You Can't Go Home Again, and others), but presented as novels. At that, the work was not all that well received by those who were recognizable. Or so it is my understanding.

I don't write that sort of thing (putting aside the memoirish bits and pieces in my weekly column), but reading suggests those ideas.

Related reading of interest, out of print but easily found, is William K. Jones's Insult to Injury: Libel, Slander, and Invasions of Privacy.

--Ken

Sometimes I wish I'd used a pen name, given some of the stuff I talk about in my book...

memoir takes shape in stages

Hi Semmie,

This is a great topic. But I don't think it's actually a "question" in the sense that it might have an answer. It's more like a conversation starter, and food for thought.

For one thing, a memoir is really about your own story, so if your brother hit you, that's your story. If he kissed his wife, that's his story. There's no real reason to keep it in a memoir, and for family harmony you could take it out. But naturally if he beat you, he wouldn't want you to write about it, even though you feel it is an important part of your childhood. So if you need to tell it, then it's yours to tell.

So that's what I mean by stages. The first step is for you to try to get your life on paper. The second step is to try to develop the narrative. How did it all play out? What is important for you to tell.

You might find that by writing the story, you become a more powerful aware person, and decide which parts of your life are yours to tell. Or you might find all sorts of insights, but decide it isn't that important for the story. Or some other variation, specific to your situation.

In my opinion, one of the last steps is worrying about your family's privacy. When I showed my sister my memoir, she begged me to "correct" an incident that happened 40 years ago. I didn't mind, because fixing it made her happy and didn't bother me. But when she saw a story I told about my mother, we both laughed. She loved the story. Through it all, I've grown to understand so much more about how my life played out over time, and I've grown to understand how stories work, and I understand more about my family. It's all good.

Just get started, and keep writing. You'll figure it out.

Jerry

I'm currently writing a memoir and I'm using a pen name. I use one strictly for safety reasons.

Candy

Semmie,

ResearchGuy makes a good point. If the stories pose an unacceptable threat to family peace, write it as a novel. As they used to say on Dragnet (old TV police serial) "The names have been changed to protect the innocent." With a little thought you can probably change not only the names, but ages, genders, etc to disguise the source enough to blunt criticism's arrows. And, you'd have the added benefit of making the story turn how you wish it would.

ResearchGuy said:

Much of Thomas Wolfe's stuff (the great writer of the 1930s, not today's Tom Wolfe) was autobiographical (You Can't Go Home Again, and others), but presented as novels. At that, the work was not all that well received by those who were recognizable. Or so it is my understanding.

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Bit of an understatement. EVERYBODY was angry. People who recognized themselves, didn't like how they were portrayed, and others who didn't were angry at being left out.

Disclaimer, "names changed to protect identity"

Another approach is to obscure their identity. This is common practice. Many memoir writers obscure the identity of characters in the memoir in order to deflect identification, and explain they are doing this in the disclaimer at the front.

Jerry

jerrywaxler said:

Another approach is to obscure their identity. This is common practice. Many memoir writers obscure the identity of characters in the memoir in order to deflect identification, and explain they are doing this in the disclaimer at the front.

Jerry

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I had a problem with this. I didn't think I should protect those that didn't protect me. But after doing some research decided I didn't want to be a victim again and changed not only names but places, and occupations.

Speaking to my family about it we felt it took away from the book, but it is a story that needs to be told and that was the problem in the first place. A life time of keeping secrets and I felt it was time to tell it the truth.

In today's publishing world, an author is expected to market her/his book, to be a brand, so to speak. I suspect a pen name would seriously hamper a lot of those efforts, and could possibly affect one's chances of being published.

Otoh, changing names (or other identifying markers) of others in the book would still allow the author to embark on public speaking and other marketing efforts.

conspicuouschick said:

In today's publishing world, an author is expected to market her/his book,. . . .

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In the sense of promote, not sell.

--Ken

ResearchGuy said:

In the sense of promote, not sell.

--Ken

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And?

The end goal of promotion is selling, in terms of books. Quite difficult to do as the author if you're hiding.

conspicuouschick said:

And?

The end goal of promotion is selling, in terms of books. Quite difficult to do as the author if you're hiding.

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Ok, let me clarify.

The word "marketing," strictly speaking, pertains to sales operations, to the mechanics of getting a book through trade channels and into paying customers' hands. It involves dealing with distributors, wholesalers, and bookstores (or other retail outlets).

In contrast, "promotion" refers to the process of informing the public about something (in this case, a book), but not to the mechanics of selling.

The term "marketing" is often used imprecisely (and I am sometimes as guilty of this careless usage as anyone) to encompass either promotion or a conflation of promotion and the sales channel processes (that is, marketing per se).

Commercial publishers do not want their authors doing marketing (not, that is, dealing with the sales channels, selling books to readers, making sales arrangements with bookstores, etc.). They DO want them involved in promoting themselves and their books -- that is, such activities as personal appearances (speaking engagements, showing up for arranged signing events), blogs, social networking, that sort of thing.

Yes, the end goal of promotion is that there be sales. But it is not the involvement of the author in the sales channels (or as retailer). To cite one example I know personally: NYTimes bestelling author Brenda Novak is a relentless promoter. But she does NOT sell her books. (She sometimes gives them away, though, for promotional purposes, and shows up at events where a bookseller takes care of the selling side.)

I had started to explain that in my previous post, but thought better of it. Should have gone with my first instinct that the terminology would be confusing.

--Ken

I’ve written a memoir, and I’m using a pen name, and I’m changing the names of all the characters and all the places – except San Francisco. I’ve even taken steps to conceal my true identity to anyone actively looking for it. Chances are that no one will ever read it, so who cares. But in the very remote possibility that it will be published, it could further damage the reputation of one of the characters and be unpleasant reading for my ex-husband – although he’s a minor part of the story. I have no wish to hurt either of them, and I don’t want to expose my current husband to any distress.
As far as marketing it – I won’t be doing anything, except perhaps a book signing in darkest Africa. Or perhaps on Mars.
Also, this is the only book I have in me.
Karen