Why doesn't it work anymore? :(

Lady Ice · Oct 11, 2010

In the first version I had of this, my complex POVs worked fine (basically, it was told in third-limited between four characters with flashbacks revealing the decline of the marriage of two of them). However in my second version, I've updated it, keeping the structure, but it doesn't seem to come as easily.

What's wrong with me?

RJK · Oct 11, 2010

Not enough information to give a proper answer.

Based on what you have, As the number of POVs increases, the reader to POV character bonding decreases.

blacbird · Oct 11, 2010

Lady Ice said:
In the first version I had of this, my complex POVs worked fine (basically, it was told in third-limited between four characters with flashbacks revealing the decline of the marriage of two of them). However in my second version, I've updated it, keeping the structure, but it doesn't seem to come as easily.

Maybe you are being forced to discover that your POV choice doesn't fit your story as well as you first thought.

Lady Ice · Oct 11, 2010

RJK said:
Not enough information to give a proper answer.

Based on what you have, As the number of POVs increases, the reader to POV character bonding decreases.

It might be 'false protagonist' syndrome. On the surface, the story is about a homewrecker who doesn't believe there's anything to be wrecked seeing as there's an imminent divorce. The flashbacks (which are short scenes or 'moments' in the relationship she's wrecking) show basically how the marriage began its death a long time before the 'homewrecker'.

ColetteStreet · Oct 11, 2010

Do you still have your first version? If so, go back and read it and see if it still works. If it does, try to figure out what about it worked then that isn't working now. If it doesn't, then there's your answer.

Susan Coffin · Oct 11, 2010

There's nothing wrong with you. You're fine just the way your are.

Writing is never easy.

Jamesaritchie · Oct 12, 2010

Maybe your first version was simply the best way to tell the story?

Or maybe it's just the problem that sometimes writing is really hard, and you have to sweat every sentence to make things work.

Debbie V · Oct 12, 2010

Take a look at your updates. Perhaps that sense of modern is in the way. In that case, make your story historical and lose them.

It could also be that you've changed in the interim making it hard for you to get back to the person who wrote the other version and have that same flow. Happens all the time.

-Debbie

Why doesn't it work anymore? :(

Lady Ice

Makes useful distinctions

RJK

Sheriff Bullwinkle the Poet says:

blacbird

Lady Ice

Makes useful distinctions

ColetteStreet

A real life fictional character.

Susan Coffin

Tell it like it Is

Jamesaritchie

Debbie V

Mentoring Myself and Others