Disturbing fantasy urban myths/contemporary legends?

Lccorp2 · 11-30-2010, 11:51 AM

I'm currently working on the third novel in a series, and would like your input, if possible.

So the hawkers (or austringers, if you don't want them to sound like people who set up stands by the side of the road and sell food) aren't as technologically advanced as the falconers next door. This is primarily due to to the hawkers' particular powers being rather less suited to national development and societal progress; they tend to be more selfish or in a few cases, outright destructive.

What I'm planning is for the hawkers' urban myths and friend-of-a-friend stories to be somewhat more disturbing than the falconers', in much the same way that the fairy tales we have today are coddled and watered-down versions of the originals, which usually had sex, violence and an unsettling amount of squick. Been looking into some of the originals, and they're downright disturbing. These particular urban myths are supposed to be a reflection of the hawkers' more brutal society and how the people see their ubersmench overlords as opposed to how the people in the Empire see their ubersmensch overlords.

After all, everyone likes to talk about the government.

As an exercise, I'd appreciate it if you rated how disturbing the following are on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being "nothing worrisome" to 10 being "I'm not sleeping tonight". I think they'd be pretty disturbing if I were living in my own created world, but then again, I'm not the best judge of these things.

-A shapeshifting hawker realised a little too late the stores were closed and there were no eggs left, yet she'd promised her husband fried eggs for breakfast. The solution? Transform, lay an egg overnight, and cook it up in the morning as if it was a perfectly ordinary chicken egg. Supposedly, he never knew the difference, except maybe that the serving was far too large for it to have come from just one chicken egg like she claimed.

-As an addednum to the above, the Queen is running a breeding program, using the shapeshifters to create biological mashups that are trained to kill like the half-animals they are.

-Goshawks are cannibals. They have elaborate ceremonies within their small, isolated communities pertaining to this practice, and no one gets wasted, so they never have to dig graves or build pyres. (There is a grain of truth in this, as goshawks are bloodrinkers.)

-If you hear someone call out your name at night, do not answer, even if it sounds human and/or distressed. If you must turn around, do so slowly and without stopping, and never turn around fully. It is not mentioned exactly what will happen if one doesn't follow these rules.

-When a human bonds with a pack of Harris Hawks, his or her invididuality and personality is shattered and wiped clean before being assimilated into the collective mind he or she shares with the birds. They may still act normal, but it is merely a facade maintained so as to not alarm others and be able to function in society.

blacbird · 11-30-2010, 12:25 PM

I can't answer your question, and I doubt that anyone else can, without seeing actual writing. You'll be better served by posting material for critique in SYW.

Probably the most disturbing fantasy tale ever told is Shirley Jackson's famous short story "The Lottery", although the equally famed "The Monkey's Paw" by W. W. Jacobs would rate a close second. Point being that both of these are quietly horrific, and there really isn't a limit to what you can do in this vein.

11-30-2010, 11:51 AM	#1
Lccorp2 How are you gentlemen? Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 361	Disturbing fantasy urban myths/contemporary legends? I'm currently working on the third novel in a series, and would like your input, if possible. So the hawkers (or austringers, if you don't want them to sound like people who set up stands by the side of the road and sell food) aren't as technologically advanced as the falconers next door. This is primarily due to to the hawkers' particular powers being rather less suited to national development and societal progress; they tend to be more selfish or in a few cases, outright destructive. What I'm planning is for the hawkers' urban myths and friend-of-a-friend stories to be somewhat more disturbing than the falconers', in much the same way that the fairy tales we have today are coddled and watered-down versions of the originals, which usually had sex, violence and an unsettling amount of squick. Been looking into some of the originals, and they're downright disturbing. These particular urban myths are supposed to be a reflection of the hawkers' more brutal society and how the people see their ubersmench overlords as opposed to how the people in the Empire see their ubersmensch overlords. After all, everyone likes to talk about the government. As an exercise, I'd appreciate it if you rated how disturbing the following are on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being "nothing worrisome" to 10 being "I'm not sleeping tonight". I think they'd be pretty disturbing if I were living in my own created world, but then again, I'm not the best judge of these things. -A shapeshifting hawker realised a little too late the stores were closed and there were no eggs left, yet she'd promised her husband fried eggs for breakfast. The solution? Transform, lay an egg overnight, and cook it up in the morning as if it was a perfectly ordinary chicken egg. Supposedly, he never knew the difference, except maybe that the serving was far too large for it to have come from just one chicken egg like she claimed. -As an addednum to the above, the Queen is running a breeding program, using the shapeshifters to create biological mashups that are trained to kill like the half-animals they are. -Goshawks are cannibals. They have elaborate ceremonies within their small, isolated communities pertaining to this practice, and no one gets wasted, so they never have to dig graves or build pyres. (There is a grain of truth in this, as goshawks are bloodrinkers.) -If you hear someone call out your name at night, do not answer, even if it sounds human and/or distressed. If you must turn around, do so slowly and without stopping, and never turn around fully. It is not mentioned exactly what will happen if one doesn't follow these rules. -When a human bonds with a pack of Harris Hawks, his or her invididuality and personality is shattered and wiped clean before being assimilated into the collective mind he or she shares with the birds. They may still act normal, but it is merely a facade maintained so as to not alarm others and be able to function in society. __________________

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11-30-2010, 12:25 PM	#2
blacbird That hairy-handed gent Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Who ran amok in Kent Posts: 26,233	I can't answer your question, and I doubt that anyone else can, without seeing actual writing. You'll be better served by posting material for critique in SYW. Probably the most disturbing fantasy tale ever told is Shirley Jackson's famous short story "The Lottery", although the equally famed "The Monkey's Paw" by W. W. Jacobs would rate a close second. Point being that both of these are quietly horrific, and there really isn't a limit to what you can do in this vein.