Old People Writing for Teens, IV

okay... Whatever works.

ooh! I'm so jealous....I WISH that I could post my new project. *SIGH* I'm 13,554 words into the thing now. If only this wasn't a singular kind of project.

Ok...back to work...1,446 until I get to the goal I had for the weekend. Then I have to do another 5k before today is over with. Since I'm working on getting 5k a day done I gotta keep pounding away on the keyboard. LOL

I'll check in again.

I'm never setting a goal like that. I do not work well that way. I will just say - awe to heck with it - before actually doing it. Lol. Not my style.

40k or 2am. Whichever comes first.

parumpdragon said:

I'm never setting a goal like that. I do not work well that way. I will just say - awe to heck with it - before actually doing it. Lol. Not my style.

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I work well with a high goal. If I don't set up a tough goal I won't do it. I just know myself that well! LOL

Bookgirl2021 said:

40k or 2am. Whichever comes first.

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So where are you at now? It's 1:37 am right now. Or at least it is here in Nebraska! LOL

I'm up to 14,846. So I have 5,154 more to go to stay on top of my goal. I think that I can do it. In the meantime I'm going to brew another pot of coffee.

Funny story. Hublet has a digital alarm clock that was made before the government changed the day of "springing forward" and it changed last night. He woke up at what he thought was a quarter after 6 did his thing...came out and turned on the news and found out that it was nearly 6. It was actually a quarter after 5 when he actually got up! ROFL Too funny!

I think two's going to come first. Unless I can pound out 4k in an hour. ...Possible, but not probable.

Bookgirl2021 said:

I think two's going to come first. Unless I can pound out 4k in an hour. ...Possible, but not probable.

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Well....don't push too hard....you don't want to break your brain & not be able to finish it!

I'm up to 17,969 words....only 2,031 left to go for today. I'm still somewhat wide awake. Either I'm overtired and not tired....or I slept in enough yesterday to make up for my lost sleep. Not sure which....not going to question it either.

Will check in again later! Toodles!

Morning Guys,

So, how did the write-a-thon go last night? You two are definitely hoot-owls, chuckle.

Finally 6 am, time to get up. Had a horrible dream. Nightmare, oh well, trying to just focus on today and let it go.

Mornin' guys. Y'all were intense last night, huh?

I swear to you, half the time I was asleep my query was running through my head. *cringes*

Yeah Chels, they were intense last night. Chuckle. I think they wrote themselves out - literally. Laugh.

How are you? I am thinking of starting a big re-write of an old story this morning. Not sure I want to do it, but I will not lose the story. It's too good. lol

I'm good. Kind of stressing about this query business. One critique partner said "go for it" with one draft and then YALITCHAT says, "No! You have no hook! No one will want to read your book!"

Aserfjhk

Ok.....so I took a break......now I've lost my steam....so the last 2,031 that I had left I'm going to make up later on when I start writing after waking up....right now I'm exhausted.....so beddie bye.....here I come!

G'night all y'all!

Hey everyone. Looks like you were all productive into the wee-hours last night. Good for you! I so wish I could function on less sleep, I think I'd get more done. I did add 1K yesterday, that's not too shabby, right? I think I need to stop obsessing over my word count. In some ways, it's nice to have a goal: finish x words by end of the day. In other ways, it's kind of like staring at the time/mileage on the treadmill--makes it seem like it's taking FOREVER.

Moni--you are a machine! Good for you.

Chelsey--that's got to be hard to hear such contradictory things about your query. Which set of feedback do you trust more? What does your gut instinct tell you?

Night Moni - our little literary vampire. Lol. Daybreak and she's gone. Chuckle.

Still trying to work on that story. Having a hard time getting back into the feel and voice in it. There is a lot of animousity and hatred between my two main character as one in an evil monster and the other is a pure character. Noble and true, and all that. Smirk. Lost of friction. Got to get back into that frame of mind.

Hope you have better luck with the query Chels!


Hi Pezie! How are you?

I think some of the newer comments are right, as far as fleshing out a few more details. I also think I'm finally getting to the crux of my conflict. It's just annoying to be done and not done and then done. If you guys don't mind, what do you think of this version? I'm struggling with the hook...



Seventeen-year-old guitarist Meridian Ashton only connects with people through performance until her cousin’s accident makes her question her desire to stay solo.

At Fernsgrove High, Meridian’s classmates have dubbed her Madame la Freak, thanks to her lapses into the Parisian French of her childhood. As the daughter of a travel-writer, Meridian knows how to proceed if a place loses its charm. Her bags are packed when her fourteen-year-old cousin Natalie's leg and her dreams of becoming a star gymnast are crushed in one afternoon. Meridian knows losing her music would devastate her, so she promises to help Natalie find a new passion—before she realizes she’s damned herself to suburban hell. Fantastique.

Natalie lets Meridian drag her to Harvard Square to pass the summer days, because Natalie can hide from her nightmares amongst the drag-queens and living statues. She longs to control the way she’s perceived, the way these unique—and occasionally absurd—performers do. Soon her hair is purple, and she’s ready to prove to everyone that she has as much control over her life as she did when she flipped on the parallel bars.

Meridian totally supports Natalie's new attitude, until defending her in a fight almost costs Meridian ability to play. Time to face the music. She has to play the chords that will allow her to fit in in Fernsgrove, or she has to take off with her guitar. Either way, she risks alienating her biggest fan--Natalie.

I feel like I could write about friction today, parumpdragon, it's been a heck of a morning in my house. One of those days I wish I had a punching bag to blow off some steam. LOL! Instead I vented over email to my husband. That kind of helps. If I had a story with major friction in it going right now, I think i would have been in exactly the right mindset. I'm feeling a bit better though. .

Sorry to hear that Pezie. I had a terribly restless night, and then dreamt of a family member who died a while back. Woke up crying, as I always do with this particular dream. Not my best day either.

Punching bag won't help me though, but a nice thought and a good image for the day, *whack*. Chuckle.

And Chels.... Ah, it's a little long, I think. Not the greatest explanation, but yeah. I kind of agree that you need a better hook too (you have one hooky sentence in there - which is a yay!). And I think somehow you need to shorten it, or correct the flow. I'm not trying to be mean, honest, but it just seems - a bit disjointed at points, more near the end. Not sure how to describe it. Sorry. Hope this helps a little.

Chelsey--I'm new to this process, so I don't have the best knowledge yet of what to include in a query letter, so I wish I had concrete advice.

What I did was read it as if I was in a bookstore, reading the back of the book and deciding if I wanted to buy it. Kind of the same idea, right?

I think what might hook me more was if I knew why the relationship of Meridian and Natalie was important. I know they are cousins. But are they sister-like cousins? Do they live together? Have they shared some other sort of common tragedy/interest/whatever? Like, I love my cousins, but I don't know if I'd risk my dreams for them. However, for my mother or sister, maybe I would. So, if I had a better sense of that in here, I would probably feel more for them both. Does that make sense at all? Is there a simple way for you to convey that w/o adding tons of words (I know length is an issue in a query)?

There's a line that's gone in and come out about how Natalie's the only one who cares about her music. Would that help?

Hi there, uhm, I think it would be better if you came up with a line that says Natalie is the only one who cares about her. If it is her last bridge/relationship left, and then she almost burns that bridge - that carries a lot of weight and the story with it. Just saying...

I'd hate to steer you in the wrong direction, if others have advised you to remove that line. But I think it might help. Something around these sentences, maybe:

"Her bags are packed when her fourteen-year-old cousin Natalie's leg and her dreams of becoming a star gymnast are crushed in one afternoon. Natalie is like a sister to Meridian and is also her biggest fan. Meridian knows losing her music would devastate her, so she promises to help Natalie find a new passion—before she realizes she’s damned herself to suburban hell. Fantastique."

Or something else if "like a sister" is too cliche and who knows on my grammar up there. But, something like that.

I'm sort of adding to the length though, but knowing that would strengthen their relationship in my mind, thus making the stakes for Meridian seem higher.

Solid. I'll rework the line and put it back in. Thanks, guys.

Hi guys, glad you've got an idea Chels. Hope it works.

*Waves* He all! Just posted on my blog--do any of you do Teaser Tuesdays? It's a thing we started in here a while ago.

Here's mine:

http://thepix.livejournal.com/15393.html