Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write
A publisher or agency using Google ads to solicit your novel probably isn't anyone you want to write for.
|
|||||||
![]() |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
|
#1 |
|
practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Paris
Posts: 283
![]() |
The use of Suddenly
Hello everyone,
How do you introduce sudden events into your text? As in a loud sound, a sudden vision into a characters mind etc. I have been avoiding using suddenly but I would like to know how other's handle the entrance of a suprise event into a scene. Kindest regards Jaymee |
|
|
|
|
|
#2 |
|
Horror Man
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: uk
Posts: 9,185
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Show it through your characters and their reactions. Are they scared, excited, annoyed, surprised?
__________________
The Red Girl and 'Set from Musa Publishing. Mirror Of The Nameless published Sep 2013 ![]() My site My twitter My Facebook |
|
|
|
|
|
#3 |
|
Come on you stranger, you legend,
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: you martyr and shine.
Posts: 7,611
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Just have the event happen. The preamble "suddenly" detracts from the suddenness in most cases. It's shorthand for "Now, dear reader, get yourself ready because a surprise is just about to occur."
__________________
"Dude, sucking at something is the first step toward being sort of good at something." --Adventure Time |
|
|
|
|
|
#4 |
|
figuring it all out
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 63
![]() |
"John burst into the room."
"Suddenly, John burst into the room." "John suddenly burst into the room." I like the first, would avoid writing the second and have probably written the third more times than I should.
__________________
Maynedon - wherein I review indie books, write about writing, publish a weekly horror serial and try to stay at least somewhat sane. |
|
|
|
|
|
#5 |
|
Grand adventurer of the couch
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 420
![]() |
"An arrow whizzed by."
vs "Suddenly an arrow whizzed by." Is anything gained by the word suddenly? I don't think so. Arrows travel pretty fast. Also suddenly is used in one of the most offensive transitions in writing, "Suddenly, it happened." Close kin to "And then it happened." These are often used as their own paragraphs. There are very successful writers who use this atrocity often (I'm looking at you Brandon Sanderson).
__________________
"Lady Ramkin's bosom rose and fell like an empire." - Terry Pratchet |
|
|
|
|
|
#6 | |
|
Retired Illuminatus
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The sovereign state of Baja Arizona
Posts: 4,290
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2010...ction-part-one Sometimes I'll use a synonym like 'abruptly' or 'without warning'. Sometimes, I'll use a short sentence and set it off in a separate paragraph. Sometimes, I'll slow the action down, like they do in movies, and show a very fast event in extreme and almost tedious detail. Sometimes, I won't describe the event at all, and have my characters deal with it in retrospect. Finally, I may write 'suddenly' and let the fracking sky fall on me if it wants to.
__________________
Dangerous Bill 'Lessons at the Edge' - College student and his mother's best friend share an apartment. CAUTION: Explicit, 18+ http://www.amazon.com/Lessons-Edge-P...ns+at+the+edge Reviewed 'two thumbs up' at Erotica Revealed. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
#7 | |
|
Caped Codder
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: In MA, USA, across from a 17th century cemetery
Posts: 3,945
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote:
Suddenly is one of my most favorite words. (Can you have a most favorite?) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
#8 | |
|
Badger told me ...
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: currently off rez
Posts: 143
![]() |
Quote:
An odd whisper, followed by the reverberating thud of an arrow embedding itself in the door jamb, caught his attention. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
#9 |
|
Derailed
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Above Paradise in California
Posts: 1,990
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
What is it about that word? I write it often. Delete it often - but not always. When I see it in a book, I think, AHA! He did and so can I.
|
|
|
|
|
|
#10 |
|
Stirring the word cauldron
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 458
![]() |
I think never is a long time.
I'd say try to avoid it, but once in a great while it's necessary. |
|
|
|
|
|
#11 |
|
Erotica is not a four letter word!
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: ON the edge of the insane feral.
Posts: 2,956
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I have removed it from my vocabulary -- it is a filler word for me, I don't think I have ever used it in a final draft.
so many better ways to present the info without the flag.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
#12 |
|
practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Paris
Posts: 283
![]() |
Excellent and witty shares everyone!
Thankyou. I think I will use 'burst' somewhere today, that looks like a fun action word! |
|
|
|
|
|
#13 |
|
Please, call me Boo
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 390
![]() |
It's okay to use it. I've been reading LOTR these past few days, and Tolkien never really uses it in combat unless something REALLY sudden happens. If someone says something provoking or interesting, then it might be ...
"Suddenly Strider stood up and ran to the door, looked ahead and then sat back down." I don't think that's entirely the correct sentence, but somethin' like that. Or he might say, "At that moment ..." Last edited by Jolly-Boo; 12-30-2011 at 05:14 PM. |
|
|
|
|
|
#14 |
|
practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: chicago, IL
Posts: 491
![]() |
I think "suddenly" is one of those words overused by new writers and so has acquired a bad reputation. But when used judiciously it can be very powerful, just like any adverb.
|
|
|
|
|
|
#15 | |
|
Stealing your twiglets.
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Rain-swept dystopia.
Posts: 1,571
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
It's not wrong, but it usually weakens the writing. The overuse of 'suddenly' and other similar words is usually the hallmark of a new, unsure writer. It makes the writing seem distant and wishy-washy.
Says someone very guilty of it herself.
__________________
Blogs: In Case of Survival TWIGLETS (for the curious) Quote:
![]() |
|
|
|
|
|
|
#16 |
|
.. and the 'voices'
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Moose Rapids, Quebec
Posts: 11,218
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Ok to use it but very sparingly ..
Too often I see it before something that didn't 'suddenly' happen. Usually the story should display suddeness because what ever happens always comes suddenly to the reader's attention.
__________________
http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/ We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it Porter Starr Byrd |
|
|
|
|
|
#17 |
|
Whatever I did, I didn't do it.
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Providence, RI
Posts: 8,237
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
"Suddenly" is like other adverbs. The occasional judicial use is fine. But if you can incorporate the idea of abruptness into the verb itself, you'll get a stronger sentence: "He spurted a warning" rather than "He suddenly yelled a warning."
__________________
SUMM0NED (Coming from T0R, 2014) Real magic becomes real trouble when Sean summons the wrong familiar -- the big, toothy one with a taste for the neighbors. ![]() ![]() And so it goes... |
|
|
|
|
|
#18 | |
|
Badger told me ...
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: currently off rez
Posts: 143
![]() |
Quote:
They're like fast food, the perfect meal once in a while but a steady diet of it can leave one feeling quite sluggish. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
#19 |
|
practical experience, GTFO
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 354
![]() |
Suddenly is an excellent transition word to use. It's great at keeping the momentum going when you would otherwise be tempted to stop. You can safely remove most of them afterwards. The reader doesn't really need them as much as the writer does.
|
|
|
|
|
|
#20 | |
|
Tell it like it Is
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: With my cats
Posts: 7,483
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
#21 |
|
Grand adventurer of the couch
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 420
![]() |
[suddenly]
__________________
"Lady Ramkin's bosom rose and fell like an empire." - Terry Pratchet |
|
|
|
|
|
#22 |
|
Plotting
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 709
![]() ![]() |
A good rule on all adverbs is to try never to use them because they're basically a lazy way out of good writing. Try to say it in a better way without one. If it turns out that after careful consideration, an adverb is the best choice, then you can go ahead, knowing you weighed all the options.
|
|
|
|
|
|
#23 |
|
Life sucks... Then ya die...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: yawn... in da land of the terminally bored.
Posts: 3,248
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
And then there's Suddenly Last Summer.
One of my fav Tennessee Williams plays.
__________________
seas The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker Boredom is just the reverse side of fascination: both depend on being outside rather than inside a situation, and one leads to the other. - Arthur Schopenhauer I fell asleep reading a dull book and dreamed I kept on reading, so I awoke from sheer boredom. - Heinrich Heine It is only a step from boredom to disillusionment, which leads naturally to self-pity, which in turn ends in chaos. - Manly Hall |
|
|
|
|
|
#24 | |
|
figuring it all out
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 83
![]() |
The way I introduce a sudden event is to make sure the character does not know about it before hand. Perhaps the reader does, but you don't need to surprise him/her/it/other.
When an author does some "big reveal" showing something unexpected, I always feel abandoned or lost. Unless that event can be explained quickly and easily, there should have been some hint, even if the reader did not know it was a hint. Obviously the characters would miss this hint, unless they are some sort of supernaturally intelligent beings who notice everything. Quote:
Obviously, all rules can be broken, but if you need to say suddenly, you could probably pick a better verb. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
#25 |
|
wants moar baddassery.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: probably at school
Posts: 875
![]() ![]() ![]() |
"And he like, suddenly called me, like last night. I totally didn't expect it. It was sooooo unexpected. Like, seriously."
"For realsies?" "For total realsies." That's how I would use it.
__________________
|
|
|
|
![]() |
| Bookmarks |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
If this site is helpful to you,
Please consider a voluntary subscription to defray ongoing expenses.