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Old 05-09-2011, 06:42 PM   #76
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OMG! Hilarious. I don't know if that's original work, but I certainly have never heard it before.
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Old 05-19-2011, 09:05 AM   #77
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Old 09-14-2011, 07:07 AM   #78
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Smish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Bumping, just for fun.
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Old 09-14-2011, 07:14 AM   #79
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Sage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
It was Miss Suzie in San Diego
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Old 09-14-2011, 07:17 AM   #80
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Smish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Shut it, Sage.

Quoting this again, because I love it so much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SheilaJG View Post
Okay, I know this steamboat subject has sailed, so to speak, but I was feeling bad for Smish, since she was the only one to remember Sally. So, I did a little research, and unearthed this old ditty that tells the true tale about the ownership of the steamboat. I hope this doesn't get me kicked out of the kid's section.

Miss Susie vs. Sally - The Cagematch (or, Who Really Owns That Boat)


Miss Susie had a steamboat
With railings made of brass
When Sally tried to steal it
Suze kicked her in the

Asking: “What’s your problem?
You want a taste of oar?
Sally, you’re deluded
You thieving little . . . “

Horses at the dock now
Sal’s hubby at the hitch
“Miss Susie, you are dead meat
My God, you're such a –

“Betcha didn’t know this,”
The oar now makes a swoosh
“Your husband sold the boat to me.
He’s really quite a-“

Do shellfish make good weapons?
Miss Suzie must admit
An oyster can sting plenty
When it hits you in the-

Titillating fight scene
Greets hubby at the dock
“Man, you girls are sexy.”
Sal kicks him in the-

Cockapoo barks loudly
Hubby screams and falls
Suzie looks at Sally
“You kicked him in the-”

Balsa wood is soft and light
Not really good to hit
Sally throws the boomerang
“Perverted piece of . . . “

Shih-tzus join in barking
Hubby’s looking plastered
“I should have left him years ago
The guy is such a . . .

Jerk.”
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Old 09-14-2011, 07:27 AM   #81
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Sage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Oh, but, interestingly, I have the same problem as Sheila for my MG.

For In a Pear Tree, I used made up swear words using Christmas- or winter-related words. "Jingle Bells" and "Leapin' reindeer" for surprise. And then I have "Snowballs" as sort of a replacement for exclamations for bad things. But I'm unsure about the "balls" part of it...

Originally I also had the grumpy elf say "blowin'" a lot as an adjective, meaning it to refer to blowing wind and snow, but I changed that one to "blasted" because it was too close to real adult terms.
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Old 09-14-2011, 07:37 AM   #82
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Smish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
If your books fall in that upper-MG/tween range, you can get away with a lot more. As Shady mentioned earlier, there's some swearing in When You Reach Me. There's also swearing in Olive's Ocean, which is a Newbery Honor book (I recall both "prick" and "assholes", specifically) and Shug.

I wouldn't worry about "snowballs". And fwiw, it's funny.
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Old 09-14-2011, 09:36 PM   #83
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Sage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSage is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Yay, thanks
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Old 09-15-2011, 04:34 AM   #84
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Sadly, that's my best work . . .

(Oh, my boys were watching a Nickelodeon show about some kids at a performing arts school and they were doing a production called "Steamboat Suzie" - Ha! Another vote for Suzie! I did, in fact, laugh out loud).
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Old 09-15-2011, 05:50 AM   #85
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Smish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
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Old 09-16-2011, 07:29 PM   #86
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I was going to have one of my characters "swear in Portuguese" (she know many languages). I wasn't going to say the swear, but just that she swore. It is a MG novel.

Oh, and it is Miss Lucy. (Georgia girl)
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Old 09-17-2011, 07:05 AM   #87
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Oh, and it is Miss Lucy.
You just got here and already you're trying to start a fight?
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Old 04-20-2012, 06:43 PM   #88
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Smish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsSmish is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Bumping for Sally's sake.
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Old 04-20-2012, 11:38 PM   #89
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Smish - this one hit me in the head this morning after reading your bump.

I know this pales in comparison, but since we're all cat lovers here, I thought I'd share.


Hannah had a hairball
She coughed it on the floor
Father found it in the night
And yelled, “you stupid

Hoarder of the food bowl!
I’ll get you, cat, for this.”
He took another awkward step
And landed in some

Pistachios and walnuts
That Hannah thought were bells.
Father slid across the floor
While screaming, “Get the

Hello Kitty out of here.
I mean it, cat, that’s it.”
Hannah sauntered up to dad
And bit him on the

Tip of one long finger.
He cried and said, “That’s all!”
But Hannah smiled and bared her teeth
And bit him on the

Balsamic vinegar
Is great on cabbage stew.
If Father treated you like that
Please tell us what you’d do.
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Old 04-21-2012, 03:43 AM   #90
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That's great, sissy! I love the kidlit gang. You guys are all so darned funny and creative.
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Old 04-21-2012, 05:28 AM   #91
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Genius. If there were a market for filthy children's songs, that would be a sure sale
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Old 04-21-2012, 06:16 AM   #92
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Oh, my. All it needs are illustrations.
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Old 04-21-2012, 06:36 AM   #93
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Oh, Sissy! That is very ... creative!
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Old 04-21-2012, 06:36 PM   #94
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What a great way to start my day! Love it, Sissy!

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