A Life of Crime and Chocolate

[onesecondglance]

Thank you, Shakes and hj. My weekend was a lot better than Friday. Appreciate the kind thoughts.

[heyjude]

Originally Posted by Silver-Midnight

I've got a small headache right now. Ugh. Yuck.

Chocolate is the answer!

Originally Posted by onesecondglance

Thank you, Shakes and hj. My weekend was a lot better than Friday. Appreciate the kind thoughts.

Good. Hope this week goes well for you.

[lorna_w]

today

[onesecondglance]

Originally Posted by heyjude

Good. Hope this week goes well for you.

Me too!

Friday was a very low day for me. I've been running away from problems I've created for myself, and by ignoring them they've gotten worse. Friday was when I looked those problems in the eye, and - without mincing my words - it was fucking scary. It was genuinely heartwarming to see messages of support on here, and just another reason why I love this place. It's like no forum I've ever been to before.

Anyway, after that mushy crap, here's a bit of a laugh for you. I was browsing self-motivational books on Amazon cos, y'know, a bit of procrastination is exactly what you need to face up to problems , and I saw this classic:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Triggers-New...W/ref=pd_ybh_2

Originally Posted by Marketing fluff

MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO DO PRACTICALLY ANYTHING WITH TRIGGERS You will learn how to make and use TRIGGERS-a simple, powerful mental reflex. Then, by using your pre-established TRIGGERS, you can convert mere desire into action by tapping into your powerful natural drives. You'll see how an ad executive used TRIGGERS to revitalize a dead-end career ... how a loner used TRIGGERS to become a successful company man... how to make TRIGGERS work for you.

ERASE THE FEARS THAT ARE RUNNING YOUR LIFE What if you have ample motivation to do what has to be done to reach your goals but are stopped by fear? You can use TRIGGERS to replace fears with confidence because TRIGGERS don't conquer your unreasonable fears--they erase them. You'll learn how to use TRIGGERS to erase the fear of flying... fear of public speaking... fear of meeting strangers ... fear of authority figures ... erase any phobia that is limiting your success in life.

DRAMATICALLY IMPROVE YOUR LEARNING ABILITY You get seven steps for learning the TRIGGER system you can use to lock information into your memory-forever. You'll learn how to use multi-sensory learning that uses your seeing, hearing, and feeling channels to help you learn. You'll see how a business woman used learning TRIGGERS and saved thousands of dollars a year for her firm.

IMPROVE YOUR PHYSICAL PERFORMANCE AND MASTER NEW SKILLS You'll discover nine TRIGGER techniques proven to stimulate peak performance and sharpen physical skills. You can use these techniques to master practically any new behavior you want, including social skills. You'll see how an actor used TRIGGERS to improve his on-stage performance ... how an engineer polished his social skills so he would feel comfortable with top management... how a golfer improved his game by practicing these easy-to-use mental techniques at home.

HELP HEAL ILLNESS AND MAINTAIN VIGOROUS HEALTH techniques combined with the improved mental imagery techniques you'll find in this guide can help you heal your body, prevent illness and prolong a healthy life. You'll read how Janice used these methods to combat a raging infection ... how John controlled his irritable colon through mental healing ... how Alice used health promoting imagery to avoid "burnout" from her high stress job.

THIS BOOK IS TOTALLY MAGIC
It'll fix your dishwasher and pay your mortgage*, AND make you a better lover and bigger in every way!
"TRIGGERS changed my life! Before I was a homeless bum, now I'm the CEO of a multinational corporation! And just look at how hot my wives are!"
All for just $9.95**! Why wait, buy today!

* well, buying it'll pay someone's mortgage, anyway.
** plus sales tax, payable per month per soul until time immemorial.

Caution: I may have written some of that myself.


All meant in the spirit of fun, of course. It's possible this is a really good book.

[Shakesbear]

Originally Posted by onesecondglance

Thank you, Shakes and hj. My weekend was a lot better than Friday. Appreciate the kind thoughts.

You are welcome.

Triggers? For some reason the name Roy Rogers popped into my mind. I have a weird mind!

I have had a lovely day! Met a friend for breakfast which was delicious. Sat out side chatting for ages. We went our separate ways and I went to a local park and had the picnic lunch I had with me. Then drove up to a garden centre to replenish my stock of drinking chocolate. Yes, I know, garden centre - but it sells almost everything. Then drove back to town to meet another friend for afternoon tea. I am now feeling contented and full of good intentions about writing.

[Silver-Midnight]

Originally Posted by heyjude

Chocolate is the answer!

Do you think chocolate will give me story ideas?

[Mr Mitchell]

Originally Posted by heyjude

Onesecond, hope you have a better weekend to offset the bad day.

Welcome home, Zelenka!

Shakes--Slob of the Week. I love it!

Mr M--it certainly is, isn't it? How was the book signing?

The book signing was amazing, sorry for a long wait for the reply and as I been busy with a plot problem.

[heyjude]

Originally Posted by Silver-Midnight

Do you think chocolate will give me story ideas?

I repeat: Chocolate is the answer!

Today is going to be a hard day, gang. I have myself so psyched up about all of it that I'm going to break out in hives or something.

[MsDashwood]

Stupid work getting in the way of writing.

[Silver-Midnight]

Originally Posted by heyjude

I repeat: Chocolate is the answer!

Haha!

Today is going to be a hard day, gang. I have myself so psyched up about all of it that I'm going to break out in hives or something.

Aww.

[lorna_w]

(hands heyjude some chocolate covered antihistamine pills.)

Life continues, as it is wont to do. My larders are full and I'm eating well. I hate drama in my life, but without it, I'm a very dull person to report here, or on emails to friends, as I keep apologizing to them about.

Off to watch another bad b/w 50's movie on youtube now.

[Zelenka]

In dire need of chocolate. Just on my way out to work today and dad calls, saying he's had the factor (who administers the tenement building where my Glasgow flat is) had called up because the neighbour downstairs is claiming there are insects coming from our flat, and he's going to kick the door in to let Environmental Health in. So called environmental health and they say they don't even deal with that sort of thing any more, it had to be a private company he dealt with, if anything, but at any rate, I've had to cancel shifts on Sat and Sun and book a flight, costing 19,000Kc, to get across to Glasgow. Neighbour (who is a landlord for lots of flats in the building and tried to bully us into selling a while ago, and we think this is the same thing really) hadn't given the factor a valid phone number so no one could contact him. Finally got through via email, and I think he got a bit of a fright that it wasn't some daft old woman or some silly girl who responded, but I'm still not looking forward to this. I need to clear the flat anyway before I sell it so I've told him I'm doing this at the weekend, then getting the industrial cleaners / decorators in hopefully next week. Surely that, if there is any infestation, which I doubt, should be satisfactory, right? And I made a point of phoning the factor and EH so there is a record of me having been in touch, it's not like they can't get hold of anyone to arrange access, so surely no one can actually break the door down, not without a warrant and then they'd have to show the courts that they couldn't get in any other way, I think.

So stressed now, but I think I've done all I can. Will have to go shopping in Glasgow for a couple of hours just to cheer myself up!

[Shakesbear]

Zelenka I hope you have a good trip and that there are no nasty bugs in the flat. When you do go to the flat is there someone you can take with you as a witness? Also, it occurs to me that taking some photographs would be useful, especially as there may not be any nasty bugs.

I am going to do house work today. Need to sort the fridge out and clean the kitchen. That is the plan and it depends on the agency not phoning with work. I need the work, but the kitchen is in a mess. I also need to write as I have some ideas buzzing about in my head.

[Silver-Midnight]

Ugh, I should probably go to bed soon. It's super late. Haha.

[heyjude]

Oh, no, Zelenka! That's terrible. I hope it's a huge overstatement.

[Zelenka]

Thanks HJ and Shakes - I don't have witnesses but will take photos. I think I know what he's talking about and they're kind of everywhere in the building anyway, because they come from pigeon droppings on the roof and gutters, but there's not an 'infestation' of them. We reckon he's told the factor all this stuff because he's been trying to get them to let him into our flat, thinking they would have keys, so he could go thieving. He wants me to phone him but I'm keeping it all by email just now so there's a written record of everything that's said. I'm actually going to contact our local police station as well to have it put on file that he has been threatening to break in to the flat, so then if anything does happen, at least they'll know where to look first. Today is my day off though so I'm trying not to think too much about it and to get some writing done instead. Heading out in a bit to treat myself to a nice meal at the Italian place next door to see if that works.

[Silver-Midnight]

Hope everything goes well, Zelenka. *gives hug*


I ended waking up early again. So, I'll probably have to take some kind of nap during the day I guess.

[Shakesbear]

I am blessed. I hae a big brother who is the BEST. He really does things that make me well up. You may remember that he went up north to get me a car - traelled nearly 500 miles in a day. And earlier he phoned me up to tell me I that a new key board will arrie tomorrow because some of the keys on the one I am using hae stopped working - surprising how often the v is used, isn't it? The one/exclamation mark has also stopped. I loe my big bro.

[lorna_w]

handing S a bag of "v"s.

Hope your situation improves, Z. The neighbor sounds like an asshat of the first degree.

[Shakesbear]

Originally Posted by lorna_w

handing S a bag of "v"s.

Why, thank you. Can I coer them with chocolate please?

[Silver-Midnight]

Originally Posted by Shakesbear

I am blessed. I hae a big brother who is the BEST. He really does things that make me well up. You may remember that he went up north to get me a car - traelled nearly 500 miles in a day. And earlier he phoned me up to tell me I that a new key board will arrie tomorrow because some of the keys on the one I am using hae stopped working - surprising how often the v is used, isn't it? The one/exclamation mark has also stopped. I loe my big bro.

Congrats! That's very nice of him.

[heyjude]

That's great, Shakes! He is a ery good big brother.

[GailD]

Good morning, all. Happy Friday the 13th.

I'm not superstitious. I just happen to be staying indoors today.

Seems like a good day to start work on my synopsis....... <-- (Those are not points. They're exclamation points. I'm in solidarity with Shakes. )

[Zelenka]

Nice brother, Shakes! And thanks all for the kind thoughts re my creepy neighbour. He's just emailed to say he wants to come down to the building and meet me on Sunday so he can 'show me where he thinks the problem is', and I'm trying to think of a polite way of saying 'Hell no'. He wants into my flat and that is seriously creeping me out all the weird ways he's been coming up with to try and get in. It's not like I have treasure in there!

[onesecondglance]

Originally Posted by Zelenka

I'm trying to think of a polite way of saying 'Hell no'.

"Thank you for your concern, but I've assessed the situation and have it under control. By the way, you might want to do something about that strange rotting smell coming from your flat, as it would probably affect your resale value. I assume you'll be removing whatever animal you have left to decompose swiftly before Environmental Health have to get involved."