"Mommy Porn" -- Cute and harmless, or insulting and degrading?
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Hi Mr Ziggles. For your info, at the moment nothing called "mommy porn" (mostly the book "50 Shades of Grey") is actually aimed at mothers, and it does not contain any content focused on motherhood. It's just a normal erotic novel and a lot of the people enjoying it are not mothers.
While I haven't read it, I know plenty of childless younger women who're reading it, and more than a few guys who are also reading it. (Including a London copper! That one was a surprise.)
Well I, for one, am not a big fan of the term "mommy porn". I mean the term to me just has that ick factor. No one I know who reads erotica uses the term. I never even hard the term until 50SofG blew up.
I hate the term. I'm talking fingernails on chalkboard, chewing on tinfoil hate. But then I hate the word porn, regardless of what other words are attached to it. Its just so condescending, judgemental and seems like it's always used to deliberately induce shame.
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I think it's a term coined by mainstream media that doesn't know what it's talking about
They don't know what erotica is, and I'm sorry, I read a little bit of 50 Shades, and to be honest.... did not like. I have a friend who is reading it and told if she wants to read more I have suggestions for her to read.
I read one article that thinks this mommy porn thing (meaning erotica as a genre) came along because of the Kindle and now people can read it and no one knows what they are reading.
Ridiculous.
They don't know what erotica is, and I'm sorry, I read a little bit of 50 Shades, and to be honest.... did not like. I have a friend who is reading it and told if she wants to read more I have suggestions for her to read.
I read one article that thinks this mommy porn thing (meaning erotica as a genre) came along because of the Kindle and now people can read it and no one knows what they are reading.
Ridiculous.
What it seems like is at the heart of all of this is the fact that something that was hidden away and somewhat exclusive has been brought into the spotlight. I have heard people say Erotica and Mommy Porn interchangeably, but the Mommy Porn thing seems to be a reference to the age of the women getting into it and how it's springing up in suburbia.
This news story seems to illustrate it pretty well actually: http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment...-written-woman/story?id=16182264#.UB8uv6N24Z4
But I don't think it's solely meant to be degrading.
This news story seems to illustrate it pretty well actually: http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment...-written-woman/story?id=16182264#.UB8uv6N24Z4
But I don't think it's solely meant to be degrading.
The problem, Fame, is that it's almost always USED degradingly.
Add me to the list of people who find it smug, belittling, and offensive. I don't know any erotica writers who use the term except sarcastically.
Add me to the list of people who find it smug, belittling, and offensive. I don't know any erotica writers who use the term except sarcastically.
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I've never heard the term, nor have I read 50 Shades. But when I saw the term in the title, I admit I had some pretty sick thoughts running through my mind about what it could possibly mean... And based on those, I don't like the term at all.
But now that I know the definition? Eh, I'm not sure how I feel. I think that might be because this is the first time I'm hearing it and have never seen it on the news with that condescending tone everyone is talking about. Maybe I'd feel a bit strongly one way or the other if I did.
Therefore, I reserve judgment until further notice. Haha. I've been writing erotica for years, but have never gotten involved in any discussions about it or done any research until this past week, so I'm not really too familiar with certain things about it...
But now that I know the definition? Eh, I'm not sure how I feel. I think that might be because this is the first time I'm hearing it and have never seen it on the news with that condescending tone everyone is talking about. Maybe I'd feel a bit strongly one way or the other if I did.
Therefore, I reserve judgment until further notice. Haha. I've been writing erotica for years, but have never gotten involved in any discussions about it or done any research until this past week, so I'm not really too familiar with certain things about it...
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Hmm. I don't know how widespread it is, but for a time, "porn" was used to denote a sensual perhaps mindless and unserious attractiveness. Like "Garden porn" for gardening books that were heavy on pictures and light on analysis or instructions; or "house porn" for decor books full of yummy pictures; or "kitchen porn" for recipe books where the main attraction was gorgeous pictures of the food.
Of course, the common thread there would be gorgeous pictures, and that isn't what Mommy Porn is. At least, not yet...
In my household, we jokingly call two wonderful craft/garden hardware catalogs (Duluth Trading Co. and Garrett Wade Tools) 'tool porn'. Because we honestly do drool over them.
In the case of the OP, I've nearly decided that I object more to the 'mommy' label than the 'porn' label.
In the case of the OP, I've nearly decided that I object more to the 'mommy' label than the 'porn' label.
Me too, Fil.
I'm a knitter, and there are some knitters out there who just LIVE to untangle knotted skins of yarn. I am not that extreme, but I do enjoy it if I come across a tangle because there is something meditative and soothing about taking an unruly mess and putting it to order. Anyway, there's a group chat for these detanglers where people regularly post Tangle Porn, aka knotted balls of yarn. My favorite application of the word porn, to date.
I'm a knitter, and there are some knitters out there who just LIVE to untangle knotted skins of yarn. I am not that extreme, but I do enjoy it if I come across a tangle because there is something meditative and soothing about taking an unruly mess and putting it to order. Anyway, there's a group chat for these detanglers where people regularly post Tangle Porn, aka knotted balls of yarn. My favorite application of the word porn, to date.
And here I thought I was a weirdo. I've spent more than one happy evening untangling jewelry chains back when all necklaces shared a common box. Chain porn!
Maryn, learning something new
Maryn, learning something new
Yeah, my friends and family have learned to just hand their tangled necklaces to me. An exercise in frustration to them is my zen moment of the day. I am seriously relaxing a little just thinking about it.
You know why? Because at the end of the day, a woman who has children gets the same satisfaction from an orgasm as the woman without any children.
Hmm... The world never seems to care about my opinions on such things so I don't tend to have one. On one hand, "mommy porn" is just terribly easy to misconstrue into incest. On the other, if it makes Mommy feel more comfortable buying my book, I like it.
In general though, I never give a descriptive term the power to hurt or insult me. It just seems foolish to get worked up about the words.
Now TONE. Tone is a different matter entirely. But, it still takes an awful lot to get me lathered.
I just don't care how someone sees my sexuality; it's none of their business anyway. [I mean that. The truth is all in the wind. And, I live in a tiny farm community, where a married couple gets some strange looks when they walk in with a girlfriend.] If they get but-in-ski about it, I hurt their feelings. It's a pretty simple process that I've had to use all of once, on my mother, a dragon in the war for conformity.
*shrug* Yeah, the squikiness factor of the term freaks me out way more than the characterization that Daddy should buy this for Mommy if he wants the spicy lunch special on Friday afternoon.
In general though, I never give a descriptive term the power to hurt or insult me. It just seems foolish to get worked up about the words.
Now TONE. Tone is a different matter entirely. But, it still takes an awful lot to get me lathered.
I just don't care how someone sees my sexuality; it's none of their business anyway. [I mean that. The truth is all in the wind. And, I live in a tiny farm community, where a married couple gets some strange looks when they walk in with a girlfriend.] If they get but-in-ski about it, I hurt their feelings. It's a pretty simple process that I've had to use all of once, on my mother, a dragon in the war for conformity.
*shrug* Yeah, the squikiness factor of the term freaks me out way more than the characterization that Daddy should buy this for Mommy if he wants the spicy lunch special on Friday afternoon.
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I am actually pretty confused by this. Do you mean that mothers and non-mothers like different things? I mean, everyone enjoys different things. But why would a woman who loves porn (for example) suddenly not like porn just because she becomes a mother? I'm not a mother, but I am 99% sure that if I ever do become one, I'm going to keep on watching porn as much as I do now. Well, maybe not as much because I'll probably have a baby in my arms all day, but you get my drift. I'm not going to pop one out and then say, "Why have I been watching this? Man, having this baby changes everything! No more porn for me!"
I also don't understand why whether a woman is a mother or not has anything to do with porn. I thought I'd seen all kinds of porn, and I never saw one where I thought, "I can't enjoy this. I'm not a mother." That doesn't even make any sense. That's like saying you can't enjoy ice cream because you don't have laryngitis. The two aren't even connected to any degree whatsoever.
Not a mommy, but a father of five. I hate to be the one to tell you, but having children will, at some point, drop your porn-watching to near zero.
Yup. Once they're awake when you're awake, excluding maybe two hours when you're utterly exhausted, your energy for porn (or anything else you once enjoyed a great deal) is simply not there.
It comes back when they leave home, thank goodness.
Maryn, been there
It comes back when they leave home, thank goodness.
Maryn, been there
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Not a mommy, but a father of five. I hate to be the one to tell you, but having children will, at some point, drop your porn-watching to near zero.
Haha, yeah, probably. Or the Hub and I will take turns, lol. But it definitely won't affect the kind, though. That I'm pretty sure of... right?
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Hm... Rethinking this kid idea. Lol, not really. But those are some of the reasons I'm waiting a couple more years. I want to make sure I'm properly grounded with career and whatnot. I've already got the husband, I'm done with the "partying" (which I never did much of anyway)... Now, I just have to get all my porn watching/reading in before then. Haha.
The more comments I read on what "mummy porn" means or what the media intended it to mean, the more I dislike it.
Initially, I didn't react negatively to it. If anything I felt it was saying that FSOG didn't fit into the hardcore BDSM novels because the general public seemed able to devour it in public. Like watching a film that has a few racy scenes in it.
Now I'm thinking - why "mummy"? Why porn? It doesn't fit porn. It's actually like reading an old Mills & Boon or Barbara Cartland novel. The protagonists seem to fit the typical hero and heroine quite well. In FSOG the hero is damaged with issues that result in his BDSM lifestyle and the heroine is too (foolishly) willing to indulge him, at least initially. Edited well, it could be a sweet romance as "young, timid heroine blossoms as she heals her dark, brooding, and damaged hero, bringing him into the light". Nothing really wrong with the concept--and one that I think has captured the imagination of many--but for the life of me, I can't see how the BDSM scenes (and there aren't that many) turn it into "mummy porn."
So I'm baffled. I vote that it is a denigrating term, misleading and a media-driven label which does seem to be implying that women shouldn't really be reading erotic material.
Initially, I didn't react negatively to it. If anything I felt it was saying that FSOG didn't fit into the hardcore BDSM novels because the general public seemed able to devour it in public. Like watching a film that has a few racy scenes in it.
Now I'm thinking - why "mummy"? Why porn? It doesn't fit porn. It's actually like reading an old Mills & Boon or Barbara Cartland novel. The protagonists seem to fit the typical hero and heroine quite well. In FSOG the hero is damaged with issues that result in his BDSM lifestyle and the heroine is too (foolishly) willing to indulge him, at least initially. Edited well, it could be a sweet romance as "young, timid heroine blossoms as she heals her dark, brooding, and damaged hero, bringing him into the light". Nothing really wrong with the concept--and one that I think has captured the imagination of many--but for the life of me, I can't see how the BDSM scenes (and there aren't that many) turn it into "mummy porn."
So I'm baffled. I vote that it is a denigrating term, misleading and a media-driven label which does seem to be implying that women shouldn't really be reading erotic material.
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I admit that I really don't see anything about the term meaning that women shouldn't read porn. I've been hearing it elsewhere since seeing this thread, but maybe I'm just hearing it in the wrong places (I have yet to see it on the news.)
The only thing I see wrong with it is that to me, the term conjures up an image of women having sex with their (adult) children, and that is what grosses me out. But other than that... I just don't see the issue.
I just want to know where everyone is seeing that it means women shouldn't look at porn. Please don't think I'm being argumentative. I am curious to see where it says that because I haven't seen it. And as I stated earlier, I think the implication that mothers look at different porn is... stupid, to say the least, if that is indeed what it's implying (I only bring that up because I've seen a couple people define 'mommy porn' as "porn for mothers," which again, is not the image the term brings to mind for me.)
Maybe that's the problem-- that I haven't seen it many places other than here, and nowhere publicly. My husband said they mentioned it on the radio station he listens to, but I didn't hear what exactly they were talking about.
To each his own as far as interpretation goes. I'm not going to downplay anyone else's interpretation if they find it offensive -- I just would like to know if someone is reading or watching something I haven't seen yet that would better help me understand.
The only thing I see wrong with it is that to me, the term conjures up an image of women having sex with their (adult) children, and that is what grosses me out. But other than that... I just don't see the issue.
I just want to know where everyone is seeing that it means women shouldn't look at porn. Please don't think I'm being argumentative. I am curious to see where it says that because I haven't seen it. And as I stated earlier, I think the implication that mothers look at different porn is... stupid, to say the least, if that is indeed what it's implying (I only bring that up because I've seen a couple people define 'mommy porn' as "porn for mothers," which again, is not the image the term brings to mind for me.)
Maybe that's the problem-- that I haven't seen it many places other than here, and nowhere publicly. My husband said they mentioned it on the radio station he listens to, but I didn't hear what exactly they were talking about.
To each his own as far as interpretation goes. I'm not going to downplay anyone else's interpretation if they find it offensive -- I just would like to know if someone is reading or watching something I haven't seen yet that would better help me understand.
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