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#17601 |
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The Girl in the Steampunk Hat
AW Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Non carborundum illegitimi
Posts: 25,491
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My opinionated opinion: It's NEVER okay to tell someone not to follow their dreams. It's okay to say: Get a job to support yourself WHILE following your dream. Be informed about the market. Learn the craft. KEEP following your dream.
Giving up on dreams... bad. I gave up on my dream of being a Broadway actress because I realized I didn't have the chops to make it to that higher tier. That was a sad year. I had the writing, which was my first dream, and I returned to it. Things got better. I shudder to think what kind of embittered 9-to-5 angry grunt worker I'd be today without a dream. |
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#17602 |
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Wielder of the Literary Lead Pipe
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Somewhere in the Nevernever
Posts: 2,470
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Hah, Phillip Roth. I actually rather like his stuff. Also, from his writing I gather he's a rather dry, cynical person, so I'd take that with a grain of salt, honestly. Then again, you can't deny that quitting on a "high note", so to speak also means you always have that high note to hold on to. Success, in whichever way you want to define it. But then again this also means you may never actually reach your full potential and is momentary success worth the regret of never having tried?
Yes, excuse me, I am verbally emoting all over the place today. The things therapy does to you, I swear. Anyway, just my (possibly overly idealistic) two cents... |
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#17603 |
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Has anyone seen mah bunniez?
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: doesn't play well with others
Posts: 8,546
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(((((Blond))))))
*shoves a couple of sparkly Neds into the Cuisinart* I'd never discourage anyone from pursuing their dreams either. Young FD wants to be an animator, he's not very good at art. I encourage him to practice, practice, practice but to also make sure he does well in subjects which he may have to fall back on...just in case. My crazy aunt expressing her opinion on my FB page,,,again.
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#17604 |
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The Girl in the Steampunk Hat
AW Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Non carborundum illegitimi
Posts: 25,491
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fire, if you blocked her would it cause a family implosion?
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#17605 |
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.
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,513
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I'm road wary
^ this is exactly why my younger brother and I no longer speak and why I broke a rule of mine and intervened between him and his former girlfriend
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If he is pretending then he still cares. I have a +2 resistance to death but a -5 resistance to injury. Writerly Blog Tumblr Blog |
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#17606 |
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Butterflies
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Living the dream
Posts: 933
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Blondie, I'm tossing another cullen in for JL! *flips on the cuisinart*
And (((hugs))) for your work situation. That sucks. MAJOR HUGE thank you to everyone for the lovely comments on my photos from yesterday, and for RTing the contest links, too. It was an amazing day. And you guys are the bestest writer buds on the planet.
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![]() FRONT PAGE FATALITY, A Nichelle Clarke Headlines in Heels Mystery (Henery Press, January 29, 2013) ![]() BURIED LEADS, A Nichelle Clarke Headlines in Heels Mystery (Henery Press, October 2013) THE HEARTACHE MOTEL, Three Interconnected Mystery Novellas (Henery Press, December 2013) Website ~ Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Goodreads |
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#17607 |
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bedazzled /bootay shaker!!
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: southern cali
Posts: 3,405
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clovia, point taken. he certainly
is entitled to his opinion and honesty. we have all been too honest one day or another. ha! dyst, i got that about him too, cynical. but i'd have to agree with lily pie. do i want to be a person who: 1. didn't follow my dreams, didn't have my dreams crushed along the way, played it safe and never stretched or challenged myself. 2. followed my dreams, challenged myself, had my heart crushed, chewed, handed back to me on a platter. "succeeded" (by whatever definition) or more likely "failed (by whatever definition). i'd rather be the latter. i think i learned somewhere in my early 30's that i hate regret. life is short. i wouldn't NOT wanted to have tried for a dream, you know?
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![]() Silver Ph0enix (Greenwi11ow: 4/09) Fury of the Ph0enix (Greenwi11ow: 3/11) Diverse 3nergies anthology (Tu B00ks: 10/12) visit my website : paint & prose my brush art at etsy! |
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#17608 |
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ray of motherf#%&ing sunshine
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: the winter of my discontent
Posts: 3,748
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(((Blond))) Wishing JL much luck!
Meh, that strikes me as Roth being a rather cynical person, but not mean-spirited. I gave similar advice to a friend the other day after her daughter wrote her first "book" (she's seven). I told her she didn't want her happy little girl turning into bitter old me. ![]() Serious question - is it better to dream and fail or dream and struggle than to never dream at all? I imagine the latter would put a lot of liquor manufacturers and therapists out of business. ETA: as to Xiao's post, I'd much rather not have a dream than have one and keep failing at it like I currently am. I'd be happier, and I'm certain I'd find other ways to challenge myself via work or whatever. |
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#17609 |
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Has anyone seen mah bunniez?
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: doesn't play well with others
Posts: 8,546
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Yes, she's my Mum's twin sister.
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#17610 |
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Wielder of the Literary Lead Pipe
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Somewhere in the Nevernever
Posts: 2,470
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What Lily said. *sage nod*
I'm actually currently kind of experiencing just that. The whole "my dreams are totally crazy and delusional. I want all these things I can't ever have," blah, blah, blah. And really I'm just self-sabotaging myself, because it effectively turns me into a closed-off wuss. Yeah, anyway. Sleep-deprived and emoting all over the place? Check. Filter irreparably broken? Double check. Coherence? Nonexistent. Sorry everyone.
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#17611 |
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Hello!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 318
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Blond, I was actually just thinking of JL yesterday and getting worried that I hadn't heard anything from you since I know TX results came out last week. The results almost always come out much earlier than they say. Usually mid afternoon! So, I'm sending lots and lots of positivity your way. Eek! What an awful/glorious day, that is
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Check out my blog, Fumbling with Fiction! The Agent Call. My Sister the Vampire #9: Twin Spins My Sister the Vampire #10: Date with Destiny My Sister the Vampire #11: Flying Solo [Egmont UK] WIP: Alive, collaboration with Nick Harris of Story Foundation |
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#17612 |
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bedazzled /bootay shaker!!
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: southern cali
Posts: 3,405
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inkie, i answered your question with above
post, but i honestly think we, as individuals, are *nothing* without our dreams. we are also nothing without hope. it is as simple as that to me. and look, i'm totally honest. i'm not roses and sunshine about this. (although i guess most of you think i'm "perky". ha!) when i do book panels with local authors, it's pretty hilarious how honest we are about how bloody hard this business is. but we also convey the great parts and the excitement, and the mere fact of having written and put a book out there for others to read. it's a crazy dichotomy, but there it is.
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![]() Silver Ph0enix (Greenwi11ow: 4/09) Fury of the Ph0enix (Greenwi11ow: 3/11) Diverse 3nergies anthology (Tu B00ks: 10/12) visit my website : paint & prose my brush art at etsy! |
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#17613 |
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Wielder of the Literary Lead Pipe
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Somewhere in the Nevernever
Posts: 2,470
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(((Fire))) Ugh on the crazy family. The trick is to speak a language they don't know, I tell you.
(((Blond))) That's just crazy! I want to say I'm glad you found some middle ground, but really I feel that she's just not even close to paying you what you're worth. Let alone valuing you. Bar and employment vamp dust for JL! |
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#17614 |
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ray of motherf#%&ing sunshine
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: the winter of my discontent
Posts: 3,748
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*refrains from getting all psychologist and talking about variable interval reward schedules and conditioning*
![]() *also realizes she is way too dark and cynical for this thread and should probably go back to writing more crap that no one else will read* |
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#17615 |
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Hello!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 318
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Just read the Roth piece. It certainly didn't sound mean-spirited on Roth's part to me since it wasn't as if he knew the author or the author's work personally. He just sounded exhausted from the whole endeavor. Haven't we all been?
I don't know what to think. I know I've had the same thoughts myself. Sometimes it'd be nice not to have this *Extra* thing and to just go around like a normal person. When you're off work, you have free time and watch TV rather than try to sneak in time writing. But I also think we're all more interesting people for having worked at something we're passionate about.
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Check out my blog, Fumbling with Fiction! The Agent Call. My Sister the Vampire #9: Twin Spins My Sister the Vampire #10: Date with Destiny My Sister the Vampire #11: Flying Solo [Egmont UK] WIP: Alive, collaboration with Nick Harris of Story Foundation |
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#17616 |
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bedazzled /bootay shaker!!
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: southern cali
Posts: 3,405
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inkie, i have no idea what you're talking about.
ha! but i only really believe in this life. and nothing beyond it. so i'm going to try and make as much of it as i can, you know? i'm not sure everyone *is* cut out for some things though, not everyone is as thick skinned and many people are more sensitive. it's about knowing yourself in the end. that is the most important thing, i think. knowing and accepting yourself. and hokey as hell, but definitely loving yourself. dreams and hopes, that is the most important thing to *me* playing this game called Life. =)
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![]() Silver Ph0enix (Greenwi11ow: 4/09) Fury of the Ph0enix (Greenwi11ow: 3/11) Diverse 3nergies anthology (Tu B00ks: 10/12) visit my website : paint & prose my brush art at etsy! |
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#17617 |
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ray of motherf#%&ing sunshine
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: the winter of my discontent
Posts: 3,748
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Basically, the most effective way to reinforce a behavior pattern is to reward people at random intervals for doing the behavior. Most of life is like this. Publishing sure is. You never know when something you do might pay off, so you keep doing it and doing it and are unlikely to give up because of the possibility that next time will be the time you get your reward.
And basically, I agree with you. Which is why if my next book doesn't sell, I'm going to sit down agent lady and explain I want to self-publish it. |
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#17618 |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 182
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Hi everyone, hope you are all having a good Friday! That Roth story sounds rather like the old "you don't have the fire"/violinist story to me...
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#17619 | |
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practical experience, FTW
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 182
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Quote:
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#17620 |
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The Girl in the Steampunk Hat
AW Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Non carborundum illegitimi
Posts: 25,491
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I'm a stubborn broad. Tell me I'm not good enough to achieve something and I'm going to go at it all the harder. The convent backfired that way.
But other things haven't.
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#17621 |
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A new year, a new avatar
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,135
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It's Friday. My brain hurts. Next week is Thanksgiving. Where did 2012 go???
Blondie... for JL!
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~ Just Snappy ![]() |
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#17622 |
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useless idiot
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Bristol, England
Posts: 9,088
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Thanks for all the birthday wishes yesterday! 24 is a big number.
![]() I'm definitely with ink here. Having an unattainable dream makes me miserable on a regular basis. I'd rather not have a dream at all, and I'm working on that. |
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#17623 | |
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Hello!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 318
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Quote:
Can I just say I'm glad to have people to lament and obsess with again, though? I've found a lot of my writing friends seem to fizzling off, a bit exhausted in the whole process and it's hard not to have as many people that feel the same about writing to talk to...
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Check out my blog, Fumbling with Fiction! The Agent Call. My Sister the Vampire #9: Twin Spins My Sister the Vampire #10: Date with Destiny My Sister the Vampire #11: Flying Solo [Egmont UK] WIP: Alive, collaboration with Nick Harris of Story Foundation |
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#17624 |
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carpe libri
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: never in the here and now
Posts: 2,961
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It's hard for me to know what to say when someone tells me it's their dream to be an author. I don't tell them not to try, but I am really honest about how difficult it is. And I don't know how others feel about it, but I actually tell kids and teens I wouldn't advise they pick a creative writing major in college.
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#17625 |
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The Girl in the Steampunk Hat
AW Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Non carborundum illegitimi
Posts: 25,491
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Amarie, I've always told my kids to dream big AND get a degree in something that will pay the bills while they're working toward the dream.
I'm the practical one in the family.
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