The "T" Party.

[Cliff Face]

My sense of self is improving slowly.

As in, I'm starting to get a really good mental image of who I am on the inside. A reliable image... And of course, being a mental image, it comes with its own feeling. The feeling is sort of what I expect would be my "neutral" once I've transitioned.

It's still baby steps, but I'm coming to realise that I need to learn how to let myself just be myself, before I transition. I'll need that strong sense of self to handle it, I think.

How's everyone else doing?

[Kim Fierce]

Good job, Cliff Face. I think everyone needs to go through some type of experience where they really get to know themselves. I think so many people just never do.

[Shadow Dragon]

So, I wake up to hearing my mom talk to a friend of hers on the phone. She talks loudly and the walls are thin, don't have much choice but to hear what she says. Lot of it being that I live in a deluded world, my psychologist shouldn't be encouraging mental illness, and that the fact that I had a buzz cut in elementary and middle school is apparently more proof that I'm not trans. Yeah, hell of a good morning, huh?

[Gale Haut]

I grew up in a house with thin walls and a mother who spoke loud on the phone. Drove. Me. Crazy.

Hang in there Shadow. You're a crazing fucking talented author, and you know who you are better than anyone else ever could.

[Diana Hignutt]

Originally Posted by Shadow Dragon

So, I wake up to hearing my mom talk to a friend of hers on the phone. She talks loudly and the walls are thin, don't have much choice but to hear what she says. Lot of it being that I live in a deluded world, my psychologist shouldn't be encouraging mental illness, and that the fact that I had a buzz cut in elementary and middle school is apparently more proof that I'm not trans. Yeah, hell of a good morning, huh?

She's trying to deal too. It's hard for our family's as well as for us, esp. during the early phases of transition and such.

My mom, didn't tell me my grandmother had died until after the funeral, so I wouldn't go and embarress her.

I'm sorry you had to hear your mom. But, you're stronger than you know, and you'll do fine. Most likely, she'll come around. Hang in there.

[Kim Fierce]

It is such a hard thing to deal with . . . I usually repress the fact that my mom told me not to even tell my grandma I'm a lesbian . . . she never knew, and now has passed away. There's a whole faction of extended family I don't even speak with anymore, including 2nd cousins I used to be close to, who just found out a few months ago that I'm not only married to a woman but have a son who is almost 2. My own aunt saw me a couple weeks ago at a funeral with my son and asked me if I was babysitting.

I have always thought that all this time my mom has been accepting of me. But it's dawning on me that for one reason or another, whether fear of their reaction or just out of shame, my mom is the reason I am estranged from them. But I'm lucky to have strong support with my siblings, best friend, wife, and co-workers.

I also lived in a very repressive small town, but even moving just 1 town away was the best thing I ever did in my life for self acceptance.

[Shadow Dragon]

This is neat. In the newest page of Questionable Content, one of the most popular webcomics, they're revealed a character to be transgendered:

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2323

I'll admit, the way he did it seems a bit random but, the guy seems to really want to get this right. In his own words, posted underneath the comic:

I have to admit, I am nervous about posting this comic, because including a trans person in my cast is something I have wanted to do for years and I really, really want to do a good job of it. One of the major themes of QC, I think, is of inclusion, and this seemed like a pretty important thing to include. I have given it a lot of thought and done a lot of research, so hopefully I won't screw up. I'll do my best, anyway.

[Diana Hignutt]

Okay, so I'm writing a new novel. It is my intention that this be my best and biggest novel to date. My other books, save one little fun novel (with only one human character) and one non-fiction book, all have central trans characters. This one won't. And it will be my most mainstream work yet, a Christmas story set in 1600's New Sweden (West Jersey) now New Jersey with tons of characters. And that's why I feel like I really should stick a QUILTBAG character in there, but...the story doesn't call for it...imo...

Is it okay, for me to write a novel without QUILTBAG characters? Do I have to feel like I'm betraying my own people? Do you feel like this occassionally?

[Shadow Dragon]

Some stories will have Quiltbag characters, some won't. You aren't betraying anyone by including or not including them.

[Mara]

No need to shoehorn anyone in. If you have a certain vision in your head for who the cast is, and they happen to be non-LGBT, there's nothing wrong with that.

[Kim Fierce]

Sounds fine, Diana.

I'm going to write a historical YA fiction with no QUILTBAG characters after I finish my current WIP. And I want to try to get an agent for that one. IMO, if you write something "mainstream" it might help get the word out about your other stuff, too!

[Melanie Dawn]

/wave Allo! I saw this thread pop up earlier but I didn't actually check it out til now. I wish I had more time to say hi (headed out to have dinner with my wife), but i wanted to say hi, and I will be back.

Oh and as the people in the "Toward a newer blue" thread already know, I am indeed a trans woman.

[sadbeautifultragic]

Hi everyone! Wow I haven't been here in forever!

To Dianna: I agree with what everyone else has said. Characters will be what characters will be. If they're not LGBT they're not, if they are they are, just like us. The wip I've been focusing on the most for about a week now is entirely hetero, or at least that's how it looks. Good luck.

Melanie, welcome. I haven't been here in a while but everyone is great here and you will find loads of support, writing-wise and everything else too.

On a personal note I'm doing something I never though I'd do and am in a wonderful relationship with another trans guy. It's funny how life works out sometimes. And it's inspired quite the story. Hooray.

[Medievalist]

Originally Posted by Diana Hignutt

Is it okay, for me to write a novel without QUILTBAG characters? Do I have to feel like I'm betraying my own people? Do you feel like this occassionally?

We'll be collecting your rainbow badge directly

Be true to the story. Always.

[Melanie Dawn]

Originally Posted by strategic_tragedies

Hi everyone! Wow I haven't been here in forever!

Melanie, welcome. I haven't been here in a while but everyone is great here and you will find loads of support, writing-wise and everything else too.

On a personal note I'm doing something I never though I'd do and am in a wonderful relationship with another trans guy. It's funny how life works out sometimes. And it's inspired quite the story. Hooray.

Thanks I will check in on occasion. Also, I have been working on a trans romantica story... trans girl and a cisboy... just added the third part of the "love triangle" another trans girl.

[Kim Fierce]

http://singletitles.com/?p=8122 My short queer steampunk Amelia's Revolution got 4.5 stars!

I never refer to Amelia's best friend Two-Spirit as gay but he does have a boyfriend . . . but then I realized he and his boyfriend both appear shirtless in the story so my plan to make the reader wonder if he is a gay man or perhaps T didn't work out. (This is in the past, before top surgery!)

But my upcoming book, while it still has a lesbian MC, does include every flavor of the rainbow. . . including gay males, straight people, bisexual, and transgender. Actually bisexuals get the least amount of recognition, so I need to remedy that in book two.

[Shadow Dragon]

Ugh. So, a book that my therapist loaned my mother on the whole trans thing turned out not to be the greatest idea. It was one of those typical, later in life transition stories and I think some of the information was really dated because it left my mom thinking that it was damn near impossible to change the gender marker on a license. The person in it also talked about having a live a year as female without using hormones and now my mom wants me to spend about a year living as a female without any help from hormones to show that it's real and because she thinks they do irreversible changes quickly. Not sure if she gets the fact that you a lot of people kind of need that helping hand in passing.

[Mara]

Originally Posted by Shadow Dragon

Ugh. So, a book that my therapist loaned my mother on the whole trans thing turned out not to be the greatest idea. It was one of those typical, later in life transition stories and I think some of the information was really dated because it left my mom thinking that it was damn near impossible to change the gender marker on a license. The person in it also talked about having a live a year as female without using hormones and now my mom wants me to spend about a year living as a female without any help from hormones to show that it's real and because she thinks they do irreversible changes quickly. Not sure if she gets the fact that you a lot of people kind of need that helping hand in passing.

ACK! Maybe you could show her the new Standards of Care which specifically say that the year-long gatekeeping thing is now considered harmful and isn't done any more?

[Melanie Dawn]

Welp..new doc..lowered my t-blockers and told me to increase my water intake by quite a bit... wonder why...

Oh and my marriage seems to be slowly falling apart...WEEEEeeeEEEEE...

happy hump day!

[Diana Hignutt]

Originally Posted by Shadow Dragon

Ugh. So, a book that my therapist loaned my mother on the whole trans thing turned out not to be the greatest idea. It was one of those typical, later in life transition stories and I think some of the information was really dated because it left my mom thinking that it was damn near impossible to change the gender marker on a license. The person in it also talked about having a live a year as female without using hormones and now my mom wants me to spend about a year living as a female without any help from hormones to show that it's real and because she thinks they do irreversible changes quickly. Not sure if she gets the fact that you a lot of people kind of need that helping hand in passing.

I started on hormones in 1998, in 1999 I began living full time. Op in 2000.

[Diana Hignutt]

Originally Posted by Melanie Dawn

Welp..new doc..lowered my t-blockers and told me to increase my water intake by quite a bit... wonder why...

Oh and my marriage seems to be slowly falling apart...WEEEEeeeEEEEE...

happy hump day!

He's worried about your kidney's probably, dear.

As for the marriage, it was always going to get worse before it gets better, like everythin else in the world. It seemed really likely back in 1997 I was going to lose my marriage, but I didn't...still married...

Things are changing, and it's not easy for anyone.

This too shall pass...one way or the other....

sorry, that's all I got...

[Melanie Dawn]

Originally Posted by Diana Hignutt

He's worried about your kidney's probably, dear.

As for the marriage, it was always going to get worse before it gets better, like everythin else in the world. It seemed really likely back in 1997 I was going to lose my marriage, but I didn't...still married...

Things are changing, and it's not easy for anyone.

This too shall pass...one way or the other....

sorry, that's all I got...

Ah, i figured it was kidneys or something..

Ya my wife has been my biggest advocate and supporter of me transitioning... we have had a LOT of downs over the years (11 on the second of Feb)... this feels different... we are both energized, and happy.

[TodKurtis]

Oh, we have our own party! I like this place better already. The entire thread is a bit long, but I'll come back and read the entire thing tomorrow, I think.

Anyways, hi everyone. I'm a trans guy who occasionally crossdresses, as if my family weren't already confused enough I'm fortunate enough to read as a man about 50% of the time (pre-everything, as they say, with the understanding that everyone's transition/path is different) and right now physical transition has been temporarily been put on the backburner.

Well, I say man...people tend to mistake me for a boy. If I'm out with my younger sister, they tend to think I'm her boyfriend, which we both find hilarious.

[Kitty Pryde]

So if I am out of line asking this here, please let me know. A friend has a family member who came out as transgender late last year. He is not yet living as male. I think he is 19, going to community college, living in a mildly disapproving household. he doesn't have any transgender friends or mentor type wiser folks. My friend is trying to be as supportive as she can be, but she is really worried because he found a doctor to start him on T injections without any therapy/counseling/advising/educating/anything about feelings, beliefs, expectations, etc. now whatever changes he will go through, physically and life wise, he has no emotional/medical/mental health support for. Is it usual, or good practice, to do that? What do you think this young man could do for a healthier transition?

[Shadow Dragon]

It is unusual for an endo to start hormones that quickly. That in and of itself isn't really bad as long as the doctor knows what they're doing, but still, kind of odd.

Anyways, it is a good idea to do some kind of therapy for a while with someone that has some experience with GLBT people is probably a good thing. If nothing else, than for him to have someone to bounce ideas off of for his life if he can't with his direct family.