The Un-Valentine's Day Challenge

MacAllister · 01-12-2013, 01:06 AM

YOUR mission, should you choose to accept it:

Write a poem or short story (less than 5K words) and email it to submissions (AT) absolutewrite.com before midnight, the night before Valentine's Day.

Your story should contain strong elements of humor, and should attempt to subvert, twist, parody, or otherwise mess with the regular romance/Valentine's Day tropes, motifs, and themes.

Calliopenjo · 01-12-2013, 01:38 AM

I choose to accept the mission.

Cliff Face · 01-12-2013, 02:41 AM

I'm considering it. Need to look at some of the Valentine's tropes and see if any ideas are jogged free.

But humour is much more up my alley than the Christmas horror from last time.

So I'll probably put something together, if I can find the time, if I have any strong ideas.

*gets excited*

Manuel Royal · 01-12-2013, 03:19 AM

This calls for booze, and possibly some crying. That's where the funny comes from.

TypoToffee · 01-12-2013, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manuel Royal

This calls for booze, and possibly some crying. That's where the funny comes from.

Keep the tears, pass the whiskey...

Shakesbear · 01-12-2013, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TypoToffee

Keep the tears, pass the whiskey...

Too right! Salt water does not go with whiskey.

I might have a go at this . . . sounds sort of intriguing . . .

Cliff Face · 01-13-2013, 12:34 AM

An idea is forming in my head...

Had only a vague idea last night, but as soon as I woke up this morning, I realised what direction I could take that vague idea in. So it's now less vague.

kkbe · 01-13-2013, 12:43 AM

Wracking my brain but it's not looking good. Unless. . .

No, Cliff Face already thought of that idea.

Cliff Face · 01-13-2013, 01:03 AM

Yes, my purple romance penguins are spoken for, thank you very much.

Well, okay, that's not my actual idea. But wouldn't it open up a lot of comedic avenues?

Phuein · 01-13-2013, 09:47 PM

I'm so glad you wrote

Quote:

poem or short story

:=D

My ode to love!

WKlein · 01-14-2013, 01:21 AM

Ooooh, I actually have an idea for this that I might have to try

Rockweaver · 01-14-2013, 11:21 PM

all contest can be won if you know the judge and the kind of booze they need to feel better

..

i may just give this a shot.

Oh one question is there a limit on the number of submissions?

thanks

Calliopenjo · 01-15-2013, 02:26 AM

I know I said I was going to compete, but I'm going to have to bow out. To use an already overused line, I can't find my inspiration.

I wish everybody luck on this one.

Maybe the next time around though.

Yes, I'll be waiting for them to be posted so I can read them all. I need to get my daily reading in after all.

Rockweaver · 01-15-2013, 02:37 AM

Calliopenjo i have a couple of spare ideas if you would like i can pm one to you

s

Calliopenjo · 01-15-2013, 02:50 AM

I appreciate the idea Rockweaver, but I don't do well with writing humor.

Thank you anyway.

Rockweaver · 01-17-2013, 02:05 AM

posting from the net..
www.wate.com/story/582444/the-legend-of-cupid

this is for any who do not know the back story...
Cupid is the most famous of Valentine symbols -- a mischievous, winged child armed with bow and arrows. Cupid aims his arrows at people, causing them to fall deeply in love.

In Roman mythology, Cupid's mother Venus was jealous of the beauty of Psyche, and ordered Cupid to punish the mortal. Instead, Cupid fell deeply in love with her. He took her as his wife, but as a mortal she was forbidden to look at him.

Psyche was happy until her sisters persuaded her to look at Cupid. As soon as Psyche looked at Cupid, Cupid punished her by leaving. Their lovely castle and gardens vanished too. Psyche found herself alone in an open field with no signs of other beings or Cupid.

As she wandered trying to find her love, she came upon the temple of Venus. Wishing to destroy her, the goddess of love gave Psyche a series of tasks. Psyche was given a small box and told to take it to the underworld to capture some of the beauty of Proserpine, the wife of Pluto.
During her trip she was given tips on avoiding the dangers of the realm of the dead and was warned not to open the box. But Temptation overcame Psyche and she opened the box. Instead of finding beauty, she found deadly slumber. Cupid found her lifeless on the ground. He gathered the deadly sleep from her body and put it back in the box. The gods, moved by Psyche's love for Cupid made her a goddess.

Today, Cupid and his arrows have become the most popular of love signs, and love is frequently depicted by two hearts pierced by an arrow -- Cupid's arrow.

dobiwon · 01-21-2013, 11:11 PM

I haven't been doing much writing lately, so this prompt came at a good time for me. I want to get back to writing more humor.

lisalulu09 · 01-23-2013, 12:40 AM

Questions:

Midnight your time?

Does it have to be a complete short story?

lisalulu09 · 01-23-2013, 12:42 AM

Also, PRIZE?

Cliff Face · 01-23-2013, 04:03 AM

Well, I wrote the first draft of mine yesterday. Just needs to be polished.

Mr. Aziz · 01-26-2013, 08:05 PM

I'd try, but so far every time I try to think up something, it always ends up shamelessly ripping this off or ending up like it:

http://www.theonion.com/video/annual...le-held,19117/

Edit: NVM, I thought of something.

Manuel Royal · 01-26-2013, 09:18 PM

So of the The Onion's satire highlights a truth.

Got an idea last night.

kkbe · 01-27-2013, 01:57 AM

I am seriously doubting if I can do this one. I tried, and ended up writing a short story about an abused woman who decides to blow her husband's brains out. Trying to put a humorous spin on that has proven somewhat . . . difficult.

Manuel Royal · 01-27-2013, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kkbe

I am seriously doubting if I can do this one. I tried, and ended up writing a short story about an abused woman who decides to blow her husband's brains out. Trying to put a humorous spin on that has proven somewhat . . . difficult.

Think of it as a country-western song.

ElaineA · 01-27-2013, 07:37 AM

Brain...spinning...

01-12-2013, 01:06 AM	#1
MacAllister 'Twas but a dream of thee El Jefe Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Out on a limb Posts: 19,129	The Un-Valentine's Day Challenge YOUR mission, should you choose to accept it: Write a poem or short story (less than 5K words) and email it to submissions (AT) absolutewrite.com before midnight, the night before Valentine's Day. Your story should contain strong elements of humor, and should attempt to subvert, twist, parody, or otherwise mess with the regular romance/Valentine's Day tropes, motifs, and themes. __________________ AW on FaceBook AW on Twitter! About.Me Sofa Monkeys - Pop Culture for the Short Attention Span \| Creating Home - Living well, creating a home, and cooking with Mom! \| Stones In the Field - Random notes and maunderings

01-12-2013, 01:38 AM	#2
Calliopenjo Esteemed thinker Join Date: May 2008 Location: In a townhouse over looking the tumble weed fields. Posts: 801	I choose to accept the mission. __________________ Wounded I sing, tormented I indite. — Victor Herbert (1859-1924) Come visit @FiredanceBooks on Twitter. We have something coming.

01-12-2013, 02:41 AM	#3
Cliff Face Look at me! I'm a guitar! Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: South Siiieeeddd! (Hint: Australia) Posts: 28,249	I'm considering it. Need to look at some of the Valentine's tropes and see if any ideas are jogged free. But humour is much more up my alley than the Christmas horror from last time. So I'll probably put something together, if I can find the time, if I have any strong ideas. gets excited __________________ Main WIPs The Enchanted City - need to write synopsis and query and submit. In other words, I've finished editing it. (Thank Goddess!) The Dead Of Winter - going to resume editing soon. The Anger That Drives Me To Heresy - need to start editing if I have time. I have a query here for The Enchanted City. (Password: vista) Any comments appreciated.

01-12-2013, 03:19 AM	#4
Manuel Royal Benefactor Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Atlanta, Georgia Posts: 3,527	This calls for booze, and possibly some crying. That's where the funny comes from. __________________ Fiction blog as Manuel Royal: Donnetown Today or Recently (or a Long Time Ago) Fiction column under my real name: Welcome to Smyrnings ; continued as Spland of the Splost

01-13-2013, 12:34 AM	#7
Cliff Face Look at me! I'm a guitar! Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: South Siiieeeddd! (Hint: Australia) Posts: 28,249	An idea is forming in my head... Had only a vague idea last night, but as soon as I woke up this morning, I realised what direction I could take that vague idea in. So it's now less vague. __________________ Main WIPs The Enchanted City - need to write synopsis and query and submit. In other words, I've finished editing it. (Thank Goddess!) The Dead Of Winter - going to resume editing soon. The Anger That Drives Me To Heresy - need to start editing if I have time. I have a query here for The Enchanted City. (Password: vista) Any comments appreciated.

01-13-2013, 12:43 AM	#8
kkbe Huh. Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Left of center. Posts: 2,803	Wracking my brain but it's not looking good. Unless. . . No, Cliff Face already thought of that idea.

01-13-2013, 01:03 AM	#9
Cliff Face Look at me! I'm a guitar! Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: South Siiieeeddd! (Hint: Australia) Posts: 28,249	Yes, my purple romance penguins are spoken for, thank you very much. Well, okay, that's not my actual idea. But wouldn't it open up a lot of comedic avenues? __________________ Main WIPs The Enchanted City - need to write synopsis and query and submit. In other words, I've finished editing it. (Thank Goddess!) The Dead Of Winter - going to resume editing soon. The Anger That Drives Me To Heresy - need to start editing if I have time. I have a query here for The Enchanted City. (Password: vista) Any comments appreciated.

01-14-2013, 01:21 AM	#11
WKlein Write... edit... rinse... repeat. Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: The Mighty Midwest Posts: 204	Ooooh, I actually have an idea for this that I might have to try __________________ MS1 The Continuum - sci-fi (querying agents) WIP1 Piano Fires - fantasy (major revisions)

01-14-2013, 11:21 PM	#12
Rockweaver practical experience, FTW Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Texas Posts: 1,057	all contest can be won if you know the judge and the kind of booze they need to feel better .. i may just give this a shot. Oh one question is there a limit on the number of submissions? thanks __________________ Happiness is like a bird. The damn thing keeps flying away. Next time I find it I will shoot it and have it stuffed. ME Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Thomas Jefferson Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. Thomas Jefferson Lord of the 55th sub basement to the Pub. Last edited by Rockweaver; 01-14-2013 at 11:36 PM. Reason: i will think of something...

01-15-2013, 02:26 AM	#13
Calliopenjo Esteemed thinker Join Date: May 2008 Location: In a townhouse over looking the tumble weed fields. Posts: 801	I know I said I was going to compete, but I'm going to have to bow out. To use an already overused line, I can't find my inspiration. I wish everybody luck on this one. Maybe the next time around though. Yes, I'll be waiting for them to be posted so I can read them all. I need to get my daily reading in after all. __________________ Wounded I sing, tormented I indite. — Victor Herbert (1859-1924) Come visit @FiredanceBooks on Twitter. We have something coming.

01-15-2013, 02:37 AM	#14
Rockweaver practical experience, FTW Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Texas Posts: 1,057	Calliopenjo i have a couple of spare ideas if you would like i can pm one to you s __________________ Happiness is like a bird. The damn thing keeps flying away. Next time I find it I will shoot it and have it stuffed. ME Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Thomas Jefferson Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. Thomas Jefferson Lord of the 55th sub basement to the Pub.

01-15-2013, 02:50 AM	#15
Calliopenjo Esteemed thinker Join Date: May 2008 Location: In a townhouse over looking the tumble weed fields. Posts: 801	I appreciate the idea Rockweaver, but I don't do well with writing humor. Thank you anyway. __________________ Wounded I sing, tormented I indite. — Victor Herbert (1859-1924) Come visit @FiredanceBooks on Twitter. We have something coming.

01-17-2013, 02:05 AM	#16
Rockweaver practical experience, FTW Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Texas Posts: 1,057	posting from the net.. www.wate.com/story/582444/the-legend-of-cupid this is for any who do not know the back story... Cupid is the most famous of Valentine symbols -- a mischievous, winged child armed with bow and arrows. Cupid aims his arrows at people, causing them to fall deeply in love. In Roman mythology, Cupid's mother Venus was jealous of the beauty of Psyche, and ordered Cupid to punish the mortal. Instead, Cupid fell deeply in love with her. He took her as his wife, but as a mortal she was forbidden to look at him. Psyche was happy until her sisters persuaded her to look at Cupid. As soon as Psyche looked at Cupid, Cupid punished her by leaving. Their lovely castle and gardens vanished too. Psyche found herself alone in an open field with no signs of other beings or Cupid. As she wandered trying to find her love, she came upon the temple of Venus. Wishing to destroy her, the goddess of love gave Psyche a series of tasks. Psyche was given a small box and told to take it to the underworld to capture some of the beauty of Proserpine, the wife of Pluto. During her trip she was given tips on avoiding the dangers of the realm of the dead and was warned not to open the box. But Temptation overcame Psyche and she opened the box. Instead of finding beauty, she found deadly slumber. Cupid found her lifeless on the ground. He gathered the deadly sleep from her body and put it back in the box. The gods, moved by Psyche's love for Cupid made her a goddess. Today, Cupid and his arrows have become the most popular of love signs, and love is frequently depicted by two hearts pierced by an arrow -- Cupid's arrow. __________________ Happiness is like a bird. The damn thing keeps flying away. Next time I find it I will shoot it and have it stuffed. ME Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. Thomas Jefferson Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. Thomas Jefferson Lord of the 55th sub basement to the Pub.

01-21-2013, 11:11 PM	#17
dobiwon learning to appreciate the world Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bon Air, VA Posts: 1,758	I haven't been doing much writing lately, so this prompt came at a good time for me. I want to get back to writing more humor. __________________ --Don =================================== Walk With Purpose- Poems (mostly) and essays by Don Magin Absolute Poetry, Vol. 1 - A collection of poems from the Absolute Write poets Tales of the Gunfighter Hollis Brown Last edited by dobiwon; 02-18-2013 at 05:02 AM.

01-23-2013, 12:40 AM	#18
lisalulu09 Potterhead Gleek Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 14,598	Questions: Midnight your time? Does it have to be a complete short story? __________________ Stupid Cupid - YA Romantic Comedy - Out in the world Ollie - MG Retelling of Oliver Twist -On hold Rome Forever After - YA Contemporary Romance - Writing the first draft (12K/24K) Reading: "Oliver Twist" - Charles Dickens "Tweet Heart" - Elizabeth Rudnick Facebook Blog Twitter

01-23-2013, 12:42 AM	#19
lisalulu09 Potterhead Gleek Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 14,598	Also, PRIZE? __________________ Stupid Cupid - YA Romantic Comedy - Out in the world Ollie - MG Retelling of Oliver Twist -On hold Rome Forever After - YA Contemporary Romance - Writing the first draft (12K/24K) Reading: "Oliver Twist" - Charles Dickens "Tweet Heart" - Elizabeth Rudnick Facebook Blog Twitter

01-23-2013, 04:03 AM	#20
Cliff Face Look at me! I'm a guitar! Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: South Siiieeeddd! (Hint: Australia) Posts: 28,249	Well, I wrote the first draft of mine yesterday. Just needs to be polished. __________________ Main WIPs The Enchanted City - need to write synopsis and query and submit. In other words, I've finished editing it. (Thank Goddess!) The Dead Of Winter - going to resume editing soon. The Anger That Drives Me To Heresy - need to start editing if I have time. I have a query here for The Enchanted City. (Password: vista) Any comments appreciated.

01-26-2013, 08:05 PM	#21
Mr. Aziz New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 32	I'd try, but so far every time I try to think up something, it always ends up shamelessly ripping this off or ending up like it: http://www.theonion.com/video/annual...le-held,19117/ Edit: NVM, I thought of something. Last edited by Mr. Aziz; 01-26-2013 at 08:37 PM.

01-26-2013, 09:18 PM	#22
Manuel Royal Benefactor Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Atlanta, Georgia Posts: 3,527	So of the The Onion's satire highlights a truth. Got an idea last night. __________________ Fiction blog as Manuel Royal: Donnetown Today or Recently (or a Long Time Ago) Fiction column under my real name: Welcome to Smyrnings ; continued as Spland of the Splost

01-27-2013, 01:57 AM	#23
kkbe Huh. Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Left of center. Posts: 2,803	I am seriously doubting if I can do this one. I tried, and ended up writing a short story about an abused woman who decides to blow her husband's brains out. Trying to put a humorous spin on that has proven somewhat . . . difficult. __________________ Jerkface is sitting on the couch, arms stretched across the back like he owns it. Like he’s king of it or something. “Sit here, Shelly,” he says, so she walks around the sofa table and sits next to him. He puts a arm around her and pulls her close. He got her trained good. ~ M. Sparks, EFFIN' ALBERT

01-27-2013, 07:37 AM	#25
ElaineA Editing. Will it never end? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: The Seattle suburbs Posts: 445	Brain...spinning...

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