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Old 01-12-2013, 01:06 AM   #1
MacAllister
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The Un-Valentine's Day Challenge

YOUR mission, should you choose to accept it:

Write a poem or short story (less than 5K words) and email it to submissions (AT) absolutewrite.com before midnight, the night before Valentine's Day.

Your story should contain strong elements of humor, and should attempt to subvert, twist, parody, or otherwise mess with the regular romance/Valentine's Day tropes, motifs, and themes.
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Old 01-12-2013, 01:38 AM   #2
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I choose to accept the mission.
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Old 01-12-2013, 02:41 AM   #3
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I'm considering it. Need to look at some of the Valentine's tropes and see if any ideas are jogged free.

But humour is much more up my alley than the Christmas horror from last time.

So I'll probably put something together, if I can find the time, if I have any strong ideas.

*gets excited*
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Old 01-12-2013, 03:19 AM   #4
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Manuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
This calls for booze, and possibly some crying. That's where the funny comes from.
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Old 01-12-2013, 09:21 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Manuel Royal View Post
This calls for booze, and possibly some crying. That's where the funny comes from.
Keep the tears, pass the whiskey...
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Old 01-12-2013, 09:26 PM   #6
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Keep the tears, pass the whiskey...
Too right! Salt water does not go with whiskey.

I might have a go at this . . . sounds sort of intriguing . . .
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Old 01-13-2013, 12:34 AM   #7
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Cliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
An idea is forming in my head...

Had only a vague idea last night, but as soon as I woke up this morning, I realised what direction I could take that vague idea in. So it's now less vague.
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Old 01-13-2013, 12:43 AM   #8
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Wracking my brain but it's not looking good. Unless. . .

No, Cliff Face already thought of that idea.

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Old 01-13-2013, 01:03 AM   #9
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Cliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Yes, my purple romance penguins are spoken for, thank you very much.

Well, okay, that's not my actual idea. But wouldn't it open up a lot of comedic avenues?
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Old 01-13-2013, 09:47 PM   #10
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I'm so glad you wrote
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poem or short story
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:21 AM   #11
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Ooooh, I actually have an idea for this that I might have to try
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Old 01-14-2013, 11:21 PM   #12
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all contest can be won if you know the judge and the kind of booze they need to feel better ..

i may just give this a shot.

Oh one question is there a limit on the number of submissions?

thanks
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:26 AM   #13
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I know I said I was going to compete, but I'm going to have to bow out. To use an already overused line, I can't find my inspiration.

I wish everybody luck on this one.

Maybe the next time around though.

Yes, I'll be waiting for them to be posted so I can read them all. I need to get my daily reading in after all.
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:37 AM   #14
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Calliopenjo i have a couple of spare ideas if you would like i can pm one to you

s
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:50 AM   #15
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I appreciate the idea Rockweaver, but I don't do well with writing humor.

Thank you anyway
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Old 01-17-2013, 02:05 AM   #16
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posting from the net..
www.wate.com/story/582444/the-legend-of-cupid

this is for any who do not know the back story...
Cupid is the most famous of Valentine symbols -- a mischievous, winged child armed with bow and arrows. Cupid aims his arrows at people, causing them to fall deeply in love.

In Roman mythology, Cupid's mother Venus was jealous of the beauty of Psyche, and ordered Cupid to punish the mortal. Instead, Cupid fell deeply in love with her. He took her as his wife, but as a mortal she was forbidden to look at him.

Psyche was happy until her sisters persuaded her to look at Cupid. As soon as Psyche looked at Cupid, Cupid punished her by leaving. Their lovely castle and gardens vanished too. Psyche found herself alone in an open field with no signs of other beings or Cupid.

As she wandered trying to find her love, she came upon the temple of Venus. Wishing to destroy her, the goddess of love gave Psyche a series of tasks. Psyche was given a small box and told to take it to the underworld to capture some of the beauty of Proserpine, the wife of Pluto.
During her trip she was given tips on avoiding the dangers of the realm of the dead and was warned not to open the box. But Temptation overcame Psyche and she opened the box. Instead of finding beauty, she found deadly slumber. Cupid found her lifeless on the ground. He gathered the deadly sleep from her body and put it back in the box. The gods, moved by Psyche's love for Cupid made her a goddess.

Today, Cupid and his arrows have become the most popular of love signs, and love is frequently depicted by two hearts pierced by an arrow -- Cupid's arrow.
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Old 01-21-2013, 11:11 PM   #17
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I haven't been doing much writing lately, so this prompt came at a good time for me. I want to get back to writing more humor.
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:40 AM   #18
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Questions:

Midnight your time?

Does it have to be a complete short story?
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:42 AM   #19
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Also, PRIZE?
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Old 01-23-2013, 04:03 AM   #20
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Cliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Well, I wrote the first draft of mine yesterday. Just needs to be polished.
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Old 01-26-2013, 08:05 PM   #21
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I'd try, but so far every time I try to think up something, it always ends up shamelessly ripping this off or ending up like it:

http://www.theonion.com/video/annual...le-held,19117/

Edit: NVM, I thought of something.

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Old 01-26-2013, 09:18 PM   #22
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Manuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
So of the The Onion's satire highlights a truth.

Got an idea last night.
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Old 01-27-2013, 01:57 AM   #23
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I am seriously doubting if I can do this one. I tried, and ended up writing a short story about an abused woman who decides to blow her husband's brains out. Trying to put a humorous spin on that has proven somewhat . . . difficult.
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“You’re fucking with me,” I said. “You are, aren’t you?”
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Old 01-27-2013, 04:32 AM   #24
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Manuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsManuel Royal is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Quote:
Originally Posted by kkbe View Post
I am seriously doubting if I can do this one. I tried, and ended up writing a short story about an abused woman who decides to blow her husband's brains out. Trying to put a humorous spin on that has proven somewhat . . . difficult.
Think of it as a country-western song.
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Old 01-27-2013, 07:37 AM   #25
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Brain...spinning...
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