Jodie Foster finally comes out - publically

[Cricket18]

Originally Posted by missesdash

Odd, I haven't watched it yet. But the immediate reactions were "wtf is she talking about?" followed by "wtf was she talking about?" and now it's "that was beautiful."

Bolded pretty much states how I felt when watching her speech. And then everyone started crying and I turned to hubs and said, "Did I miss something?" She made few good/interesting points in an otherwise nonsensical rambling speech.

And Mel Gibson is her BFF? Okay, OT, but I couldn't resist.

[Captcha]

Originally Posted by cornflake

I think Foster is awesome with extra awesome sauce on top - and to the poster who didn't know anything she's done how about Contact? Little Man Tate? Panic Room? Home for the Holidays (best family holiday film ever)? Did we mention Taxi Driver, The Accused and Silence of the Lambs?! - but I don't get the 'she came out!' thing.

She made Home for the Holidays?!? Give her a lifetime achievement award just for that, as far as I'm concerned! I love that movie!

[Bebop]

Originally Posted by Captcha

She made Home for the Holidays?!? Give her a lifetime achievement award just for that, as far as I'm concerned! I love that movie!

Me too. What a cast. Downey, Bancroft, Hunter, and maybe the best character actor of all time, Charles Durning.

[cornflake]

Originally Posted by Captcha

She made Home for the Holidays?!? Give her a lifetime achievement award just for that, as far as I'm concerned! I love that movie!

Indeed. She directed it - I think it was the first film she directed that she didn't act in (she was in Little Man Tate, which I think was the first film she directed). May be off on the timeline.

[thebloodfiend]

I'm surprised there are people who're surprised.

Ah, well, good for her. The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane and Silence of the Lambs are two of my favorite movies of all time. Little Man Tate is almost up there, too. I, however, hated Contact and Flightplan. Hated, hated, hated.

I don't really care that she "waited" to come out, though, nor that she hasn't done any activism. I find that attitude rather odd.

[cornflake]

Originally Posted by thebloodfiend

I'm surprised there are people who're surprised.

Ah, well, good for her. The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane and Silence of the Lambs are two of my favorite movies of all time. Little Man Tate is almost up there, too. I, however, hated Contact and Flightplan. Hated, hated, hated.

I don't really care that she "waited" to come out, though, nor that she hasn't done any activism. I find that attitude rather odd.

Oh I forgot about The Little Girl Lives... I saw that on tv when I was a kid and it was all creepy! Heh.

Flightplan was terrible, yeah. Every actor has appeared in schlock and stuff people don't like that they did - I really didn't like Nell.

[Medievalist]

You know, I used to see Ms. Foster and her partner and kids all the time in Santa Monica.

They liked French Toast on Sundays at the same place I did. They liked the farmers market, too. And a bunch of other places.

They were clearly a loving family and couple. And that goes back years. Like ten? Maybe more.

What I would like to know is why do queers have to come out, and straight people don't?

And why do so very many people and publications treat "coming out" and being "openly gay/lesbian" like a confession of a deep and shameful sin?

[kuwisdelu]

Originally Posted by Medievalist

You know, I used to see Ms. Foster and her partner and kids all the time in Santa Monica.

They liked French Toast on Sundays at the same place I did. They liked the farmers market, too. And a bunch of other places.

They were clearly a loviig family and couple. And that goes back years. Like ten? Maybe more.

What I would like to know is why do queers have to come out, and straight people don't?

And why do so very many people and publications treat "coming out" and being "openly gay/lesbian" like a confession of a deep and shameful sin?

Because people want to be accepting, but they can only accept you if you admit you have a probl... wait.

[TerzaRima]

I can't name one thing she's done.

Ferret, God love ya but you always put me in mind of Statler and Waldorf on the Muppet Show.

I have always admired Foster's work but that speech confused the hell out of me, and I have no particular interest in her personal life.

[Maxinquaye]

Originally Posted by Medievalist

What I would like to know is why do queers have to come out, and straight people don't?

I liked the speech because I think that she obviously mocked the whole idea of coming out publically, while actually stating the truth.

The whole joke of the stammering excuse up to the money-line, that she has to admit that she's single, is mocking the idea of the celebrity wrapping themselves in the rainbow flag to Come Out!

And it's technically a very good rhetorical speech too. Those are just the things I thought about. She's a classy person, Jodie Foster, and that speech just confirmed it once more for me at least.

[nighttimer]

Originally Posted by William Haskins

http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast....ss-closet.html

Andrew Sullivan is an asshole.

Coming out is a personal,private decision and no one should ever feel they have to do so to meet someone's political agenda.

If Jodi Foster were some hypocritical politician who rails against lesbians by day while fiendin' after them by night, that would make her worthy of scorn. But she's a private individual who chose to keep her sexual orientation her private business and so what?

Foster merely confirmed what the world knew years ago. Clarice Starling is a lesbian??? Who knew? Oh, that's right...EVERYONE knew!!!

I can't remember how many years ago it was I was in NYC and there were handbills stuck on walls of Jodie Foster with "Absolutely Queer" plastered under her picture. Foster being part of the sisterhood has been one of the worst-kept "secrets" in Hollywood for a long time.

This is a country where we pay an inordinate amount of attention to celebrities. Whether we should is a different question. But to the extent that someone famous and accomplished reveals their sexual orientation and it makes it easier for someone else to do likewise, that does make it WORTHY of our attention.

Originally Posted by Medievalist

You know, I used to see Ms. Foster and her partner and kids all the time in Santa Monica.

They liked French Toast on Sundays at the same place I did. They liked the farmers market, too. And a bunch of other places.

They were clearly a loving family and couple. And that goes back years. Like ten? Maybe more.

What I would like to know is why do queers have to come out, and straight people don't?

And why do so very many people and publications treat "coming out" and being "openly gay/lesbian" like a confession of a deep and shameful sin?

I have a friend who headed the LGBT Student Services at Ohio State University and he told me, "Coming out is the bravest thing someone can do." I believe Jodie Foster just proved him right.

Queers don't have to come out, Medievalist. But it can be an act of courage and a source of pride and inspiration to others when they do.

Everyone needs heroes and sheroes. Come on out and play in the sunshine.

[MacAllister]

And are you openly straight, NT? Aren't you ever even a little embarrassed about that? Do they know, where you go to church? Does your landlord know? How about your boss?

Does your family know? Does your family support your choice to be straight?

What does that mean to you?

When were you sure you were straight? And how long did it take before you felt comfortable coming out to your family and friends as "that way"?

And are you sure it isn't just because you were perhaps screwed up by an abusive relative? Perhaps you were molested by an opposite-sex person, and that's what made you straight?

And how would you feel about it if you were expected to confess you were Black to every new person you met?

[nighttimer]

Originally Posted by MacAllister

And are you openly straight, NT? Aren't you ever even a little embarrassed about that? Do they know, where you go to church? Does your landlord know? How about your boss?

Does your family know? Does your family support your choice to be straight?

What does that mean to you?

When were you sure you were straight?

Are you sure it isn't just because you were perhaps screwed up by an abusive relative? Perhaps you were molested by an opposite-sex person, and that made you straight?

I'm a 50-something Black man, Mac. I've spent 31 one of those years in a mostly-monogamous marriage with a Black woman and that's been a fun ride in and of itself.

As far as being sure I'm straight, I'm not sure that I'm straight. I'm pretty sure I'm not gay and if I am, I haven't acted on it yet.

Operative word there being "yet." I think of myself as a practicing heterosexual. Don't know if I have it down right yet.

Why do you ask and what does this have to do with Jodi Foster? Do you agree with Mr. Sullivan that she's just another Hollywood phony and a liar?

[MacAllister]

No, I'm saying you utterly and completely missed Medievalist's point about why the hell Jodie Foster or anyone else should have to do a big public coming out.

No one expects Anne Hathaway to do a big, tearful "I'm straight!" coming-out press conference.

I'm suggesting it's rank, rampant, ugly privilege in action for the public to think we're entitled to some weird confessional about anyone's love life -- but especially that we take it for granted that we're entitled to the details about someone's queer love life.

I think it's a step forward and beyond that sort of forelock-tugging apology about being queer, and about big tearful coming-out scenes, for Jodie Foster to say, essentially, "I came out to the people I give a shit about for-fucking-EVAR ago. What's the big deal?"

So from a queer perspective? I'm saying BOO-YA! Go, Jodie! What's yours is yours, and there aren't any confessions or apologies required.

Again, I ask -- what if you were expected to have some sort of big, cathartic, emotional confessional about being Black every time you connected with someone new, privately or professionally? "there's something I really need to tell you...we're getting closer, so it just feels like I need to let you know...I'm black. I hope that doesn't change things between us...."

Because that's what it's like, and it's friggin' obnoxious. It's not empowering. It's not supportive of the community.

It's fucking bullshit.

It's pretty much analogous to Black people bitching about a hypothetical situation where Samuel L. Jackson failed to identify himself as Black during an awards ceremony.

And the bitching I'm seeing from the ostensibly queer press essentially boils down to a bizarre, stalkerish, jilted-sounding "well, if she'd have just SAID so YEARS ago, I'd have asked her to the PROM" and that's just friggin' weird.

[DancingMaenid]

Originally Posted by William Haskins

http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast....ss-closet.html

I think he's being a bit harsh, and reading things into some of her words that I don't think she meant.

I think coming out can be wonderful and powerful, but it's also something that puts a lot of undue pressure on people. People shouldn't have to make a bigger deal about being gay than people make about being straight. The reason why coming out is valuable is because we lack that visibility in society. But as we gain visibility, it becomes easier for celebrities to come out without doing it on the cover of a magazine.

I don't think I see Foster as "lying" about her sexuality. Granted, I don't know a ton about her, so I could be wrong. And I wouldn't blame or judge her if she did feel like she had to hide her sexuality. But I mostly see her as a private person, who isn't comfortable with a lot of publicity. I think she's in a challenging position. Outing herself comes with risk of attention that she may not want. And it's only fairly recently that some celebrities have been coming out in nonchalant ways.

[nighttimer]

Originally Posted by MacAllister

No, I'm saying you utterly and completely missed Medievalist's point about why the hell should Jodie Foster or anyone else should have to do a big public coming out.

No one expects Anne Hathaway to do a big, tearful "I'm straight!" coming-out press conference.

I'm suggesting it's rank, rampant, ugly privilege in action for the public to think we're entitled to some weird confessional about anyone's love life -- but especially that we think we're entitled to the details about someone's queer love life.

I think it's a step past that sort of forelock-tugging apology about being queer, and about big tearful coming-out scenes, for Jodie Foster to say, essentially, "I came out to the people I give a shit about for-fucking-EVAR ago. What's the big deal?"

So from a queer perspective? I'm saying BOO-YA! Go, Jodie! What's yours is yours, and there aren't any confessions or apologies required.

If I'm reading you right, your commentary about Jodi's Coming Out Party essentially boils down to, "Wow, that's great, Jodi. Anything else you want to tell us while you're monopolizing the microphone?"

Are we really disagreeing? I don't think it's a big deal either.

However, I'd be more impressed if it were Queen Latifah up there coming out to play. Or Raven-Symone. Or Shemar Moore. Or Missy Elliott Or Tyler Perry. Or Oprah. Or any of the many other Black folks that are trying to hard to be something they are not because they're afraid what it might do to their careers.

Perhaps in a clumsy way, Jodie Foster stumbled out of the closet and doesn't deserve the round of applause she's getting. I can see that point and you make it better Mac than Andy Sullivan did.

But in my community, what Foster did (and is being dinged for) rarely happens in the same way and I sort of wish it would.

[MacAllister]

I don't think we're essentially disagreeing, no.

And Queen Latifah has been pretty much out to everyone she cares about for a while now, too, as far as I know.

[nighttimer]

Originally Posted by MacAllister

I don't think we're essentially disagreeing, no.

And Queen Latifah has been pretty much out to everyone she cares about for a while now, too, as far as I know.

Hah! Anyone who watched Set It Off where she lip-locked another woman knew she was basing it upon real-life experience.

But Latifah has tried too often to fake the funk with lame rom-coms like Just Wright where she tried (and failed) to convince anyone she was hot and bothered for Common and not Paula Patton. I call bullshit on taking the down low to those sort of extremes.

[MacAllister]

She's also a woman that's just plain got it goin' on, regardless of some the lame roles she's done over the years.

[nighttimer]

Originally Posted by MacAllister

She's a woman that's got it goin' on, regardless of some the lame roles she's done over the years.

Latifah's also a closeted, plus-size sista who is too large for Hollywood and too smart and unwilling to dumb herself down playing the sex symbol, "bitch" or eye candy role usually reserved for women in hip-hop and rap.

Lame roles come with the territory if she wants to work. Jodie Foster has been far more successful in calling her own shot.

[kuwisdelu]

I think this gist of it — from my POV anyway — is when straight people don't talk openly about their sexuality, it's called "having a private life" and when QUILTBAG people don't talk openly about their sexuality, it's called "being in the closet."

[MacAllister]

Originally Posted by nighttimer

Latifah's also a closeted, plus-size sista who is too large for Hollywood and too smart and unwilling to dumb herself down playing the sex symbol, "bitch" or eye candy role usually reserved for women in hip-hop and rap.

Lame roles come with the territory if she wants to work. Jodie Foster has been far more successful in calling her own shot.

Wellll...okay. You got me. HOWEVER, Contact was pretty awful.

Matthew McConaughey? Really? We're supposed to believe that?

And I suspect Queen Latifah will just plain kick ass and take names, directing. Damn shame I'm not one of the people who gets to make those decisions.

Seriously speaking, though, because we move in very different political circles -- does anyone really think that Queen Latifah is in the closet?

[kuwisdelu]

Originally Posted by MacAllister

Wellll...okay. You got me. HOWEVER, Contact was pretty awful.

Hey, I kinda sorta sometimes liked Contact.

Matthew McConaughey? Really? We're supposed to believe that?

What about Matthew McConaughey? Believe what? I don't normally like him, but he did a fine job in the platonic best male friend role.

[nighttimer]

Originally Posted by MacAllister

And I suspect Queen Latifah will just plain kick ass and take names, directing. Damn shame I'm not one of the people who gets to make those decisions.

Riiiiiiiiiight. She'll join that long and distinguished list of Black women working in Hollywood making feature films with top stars, hot properties and multi-million dollar budgets.

Just like...no one.

Originally Posted by MacAllister

Seriously speaking, though, because we move in very different political circles -- does anyone really think that Queen Latifah is in the closet?

You'd be surprised.

A lot of Black women still swear Luther Vandross was singing all those love songs just for them instead of the guy sitting next to them.

I will start an all-day fight if I go on Facebook and say, "Luther Vandross was gay."

Oh, no you didn't!

[MacAllister]

Originally Posted by nighttimer

Riiiiiiiiiight. She'll join that long and distinguished list of Black women working in Hollywood making feature films with top stars, hot properties and multi-million dollar budgets.

Just like...no one.

In a better world, she would. Because she's damn sure smart enough and talented enough that she could. And I'd lay long odds that she could have the kind of perspective and storytelling power that we expect from people like Spike Lee, but I don't know who'd bankroll a film to find out for sure.

Originally Posted by nighttimer

You'd be surprised.

A lot of Black women still swear Luther Vandross was singing all those love songs just for them instead of the guy sitting next to them.

I will start an all-day fight if I go on Facebook and say, "Luther Vandross was gay."

Oh, no you didn't!

Now, see, that? That just makes me sad. Sad on the same level as if we were hearing someone say "WhatdoyouMEAN 'Denzel is a Black man?!'" -- because to everyone I know in the queer community, these aren't secrets, and haven't been for better than a decade.