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Old 01-27-2013, 10:33 PM   #26
Phuein
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Quote:
Think of it as a country-western song.
So true haha :=D How about getting the zombie husband to avenge his death?
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Old 01-28-2013, 12:00 AM   #27
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KKBE,

If I can try and tackle this you can do the same.

A not so subtle hint: As for the blowing the husband's brain out, if he wasn't human it wouldn't matter.
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Old 01-28-2013, 12:03 AM   #28
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I have no idea what to do with this. I have a poem that needs to be made funnier to submit it, or an idea for a novella that I could do a bit of for this. Thoughts?
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Old 01-28-2013, 02:02 AM   #29
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Make fun of cupid or Aphrodite or Venus for that matter. Have Hercules fall in love with Hera.

Keep in mind these are the just ramblings of a mad writer.
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Old 01-28-2013, 03:44 AM   #30
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Humorous as in, off kilter maybe? Or just off? I wasn't gonna. . .
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From EFFIN' ALBERT:
Quote:
Albert’s sitting on the carpet like I said, that puke green carpet we had, just sitting there, legs splayed out and shit mushed in his diaper. He looks up at me, mouth just pouring blood. Not crying though. Just looking up at me with them blue eyes he got.
I squat down and say, “Hey, Albert. You okay? Let me look in your mouth.”
My little blog:
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Old 01-28-2013, 05:18 AM   #31
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MacAllister is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMacAllister is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMacAllister is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMacAllister is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMacAllister is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMacAllister is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMacAllister is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMacAllister is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMacAllister is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMacAllister is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsMacAllister is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Off-kilter, askew, black humor...it's all good.
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Old 01-28-2013, 06:45 AM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kkbe View Post
I am seriously doubting if I can do this one. I tried, and ended up writing a short story about an abused woman who decides to blow her husband's brains out. Trying to put a humorous spin on that has proven somewhat . . . difficult.
make the entire thing a dream and then twist reality just a little.
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Old 01-28-2013, 07:31 AM   #33
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jennontheisland is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsjennontheisland is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsjennontheisland is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsjennontheisland is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsjennontheisland is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsjennontheisland is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsjennontheisland is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsjennontheisland is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsjennontheisland is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsjennontheisland is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsjennontheisland is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Can't do this because of school, but I know exactly where I'd go with it...

The initials for Valentine's Day are VD.
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Old 01-28-2013, 07:37 AM   #34
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Hmmmm. I don't know if I will at all pull it off but a challenge sounds fun. I'd like to see the results everyone else come up with.
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Old 01-28-2013, 09:58 PM   #35
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Sounds fun! I think I'm gonna give it a shot! We shall see, I've never really tried humor before
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Old 02-05-2013, 09:06 PM   #36
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dclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsdclary is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Mac, some rules claryfications...

What is the deadline?

Can we use previously published materials?
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:45 PM   #37
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I will be leaving for warmer weather on 2/11... without my laptop which is busted. Can I still email an entry but on 2/10?
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Old 02-06-2013, 12:14 AM   #38
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kkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Quote:
Originally Posted by MacAllister View Post
Off-kilter, askew, black humor...it's all good.
Maybe not. Been working on a short something, on and off. Got the idea from quickWit. He has no clue, btw. Picture the dancing bunneh being my muse on this one. Some things just should not see the light of day. . .

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From EFFIN' ALBERT:
Quote:
Albert’s sitting on the carpet like I said, that puke green carpet we had, just sitting there, legs splayed out and shit mushed in his diaper. He looks up at me, mouth just pouring blood. Not crying though. Just looking up at me with them blue eyes he got.
I squat down and say, “Hey, Albert. You okay? Let me look in your mouth.”
My little blog:
/excerpt-from-effin-albert/
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Old 02-06-2013, 09:10 AM   #39
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Putputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Quote:
Originally Posted by kkbe View Post
Maybe not. Been working on a short something, on and off. Got the idea from quickWit. He has no clue, btw. Picture the dancing bunneh being my muse on this one. Some things just should not see the light of day. . .

My god. A story inspired by quickWit, written by kkbe...that will be one twisted tale...
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Old 02-06-2013, 03:58 PM   #40
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kkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Quote:
Originally Posted by Putputt View Post
My god. A story inspired by quickWit, written by kkbe...that will be one twisted tale...
You have no idea.



Still uncertain, btw. It's touch and go right now.
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From EFFIN' ALBERT:
Quote:
Albert’s sitting on the carpet like I said, that puke green carpet we had, just sitting there, legs splayed out and shit mushed in his diaper. He looks up at me, mouth just pouring blood. Not crying though. Just looking up at me with them blue eyes he got.
I squat down and say, “Hey, Albert. You okay? Let me look in your mouth.”
My little blog:
/excerpt-from-effin-albert/
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Old 02-07-2013, 09:52 PM   #41
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i have mine in edit today..
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Old 02-08-2013, 01:57 AM   #42
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Cliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Haven't touched mine in about a week... Been editing my novel, which should be finished later today. So after that, I'll get back to polishing my contest short.

I'm glad I worked on it early after the contest was announced... Not sure I'd have the energy or time to really make it worthwhile now if I hadn't already got most of it done.
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Old 02-08-2013, 03:16 AM   #43
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Is there a specific format we should use or a place that explains more about this contest?

Thanks ahead-
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Old 02-08-2013, 06:25 AM   #44
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kkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
J.L., the very first post #1 in this thread, re: Mac, states~
Quote:
YOUR mission, should you choose to accept it:

Write a poem or short story (less than 5K words) and email it to submissions (AT) absolutewrite.com before midnight, the night before Valentine's Day.

Your story should contain strong elements of humor, and should attempt to subvert, twist, parody, or otherwise mess with the regular romance/Valentine's Day tropes, motifs, and themes.
She also wrote:
Quote:
Off-kilter, askew, black humor...it's all good.
I don't know if there are any kind of parameters relative to who can enter -- if it matters how long a person has been on AW, or how many postings a person has. Not sure of prizes or anything like that. I'm sure Mac'll pop in with a few more specifics. In the meantime, is there something else you wonder about?

Like, I was wondering if I was actually gonna enter this thing and God help me. . .
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From EFFIN' ALBERT:
Quote:
Albert’s sitting on the carpet like I said, that puke green carpet we had, just sitting there, legs splayed out and shit mushed in his diaper. He looks up at me, mouth just pouring blood. Not crying though. Just looking up at me with them blue eyes he got.
I squat down and say, “Hey, Albert. You okay? Let me look in your mouth.”
My little blog:
/excerpt-from-effin-albert/

Last edited by kkbe; 02-08-2013 at 03:52 PM. Reason: i.e.e.
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Old 02-09-2013, 08:47 AM   #45
J.L. Duncan
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Hello-

Time is running out and I almost got something....

It's almost funny
Almost cute.
No lute-
Whew!
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Old 02-09-2013, 08:52 AM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kkbe View Post
J.L., the very first post #1 in this thread, re: Mac, states~
She also wrote:
I don't know if there are any kind of parameters relative to who can enter -- if it matters how long a person has been on AW, or how many postings a person has. Not sure of prizes or anything like that. I'm sure Mac'll pop in with a few more specifics. In the meantime, is there something else you wonder about?

Like, I was wondering if I was actually gonna enter this thing and God help me. . .
Thanks for the reply.
Just making an inquiry while navigating the site; I’m not totally foreign to forums, but it never hurts to ask for clarification.
Appreciate it!
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Old 02-09-2013, 08:54 AM   #47
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Thanks for the reply.
Just making an inquiry while navigating the site; I’m not totally foreign to forums, but it never hurts to ask for clarification.
Appreciate it!

Edit: Why not? Who doesn't love to hate Valentine's?
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Old 02-11-2013, 02:13 PM   #48
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kkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentskkbe is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
Feb. 11, 5:30ish a.m., which means calculating, calculating less than three days left before the Un-Valentine's Day Contest deadline.

(In case people were wondering. Which they probably weren't. Because they have calendars. )
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From EFFIN' ALBERT:
Quote:
Albert’s sitting on the carpet like I said, that puke green carpet we had, just sitting there, legs splayed out and shit mushed in his diaper. He looks up at me, mouth just pouring blood. Not crying though. Just looking up at me with them blue eyes he got.
I squat down and say, “Hey, Albert. You okay? Let me look in your mouth.”
My little blog:
/excerpt-from-effin-albert/
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:24 PM   #49
Putputt
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Putputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsPutputt is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
I'm not sure where my story's going. might have to sit this one out. Booo!
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me: you have to pay for le hippo's services, you know
corny
: is this gonna be more weird sexytimes stuff?
me: what weird sexytimes stuff have i asked for!!!!!

corny
: you know...

when you wanted me to....
use my edges to...
"scratch your itch"

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Old 02-12-2013, 04:06 AM   #50
Cliff Face
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Cliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsCliff Face is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
With one thing and another cropping up lately, I still need to finalise mine.

Hopefully going to find time to edit it one more time today, then submit it. I keep forgetting about it because I haven't touched it in so long... Don't want to miss the submission deadline!
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