Pro Basketball Player Comes Out

slhuang · May 1, 2013

Jason Collins, center for the Washington Wizards, came out as gay the other day:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/magazine/news/20130429/jason-collins-gay-nba-player/

I don't follow sports . . . like, at all . . . so oddly, my first reaction to this was of mild surprise that there haven't been any openly gay pro athletes before this. I'm still a little surprised by that.

But I like that nobody seems to be making a big deal about it. Responses in news media, at least that I've seen, seem to be indifferent to positive, which I think is great. It would be nice to live in a world in which people's sexualities just elicited an, "oh, okay," reaction, right? (Not to say that Collins, his situation, or his excellent essay linked above aren't worthy of support! Especially as we don't live in that world yet, and it's often still a difficult decision for people to come out. But I do think it's a good sign that it's becoming somewhat less newsworthy.)

Roxxsmom · May 1, 2013

It's evidently a first for still active pro male athletes, anyway.

There are some haters, but hopefully their homophobic ranting will be drowned out. I heard an interview with Martina Navratilova on NPR yesterday, and she mentioned that many people have told her over the years that her coming out literally saved their lives by making them aware that they weren't alone and being gay/lesbian wasn't abnormal or shameful. Hopefully this will have a similarly positive effect on a new generation of young people and is another step in becoming a society where one's sexual and gender orientation are not things people will feel they have to keep secret anymore (any more than any other part of one's being).

It breaks my heart that there are still young people who feel so alone and unsupported that suicide seems like a viable option.

J.S.F. · May 1, 2013

There's another thread about this in the Politics section.

To me, no big deal, and I'm a huge baseball fan. Thing is, Collins is, was, and has always been a journeyman player, so perhaps the homophobic backlash has been less. If he had been a superstar in his prime and an idol to millions, I think the reaction would have been more extreme. Just the way it is.

If most of his teammates are accepting, then that's a good sign, I think.

Kim Fierce · May 1, 2013

Yeah I love seeing all these comments on news stories such as "why are all these people coming out" followed by completely ridiculous lies and myths about what their private lives are about.

Which, as I like to reply, is sort of the point of coming out, especially since issues such as gay marriage are currently under review by the Supreme Court. If we can kill the myths about QUILTBAG people are evil godless demons who indiscriminately spread our AIDS.

J.S.F. · May 1, 2013

Kim Fierce said:
Yeah I love seeing all these comments on news stories such as "why are all these people coming out" followed by completely ridiculous lies and myths about what their private lives are about.

Which, as I like to reply, is sort of the point of coming out, especially since issues such as gay marriage are currently under review by the Supreme Court. If we can kill the myths about QUILTBAG people are evil godless demons who indiscriminately spread our AIDS.

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The whole media backlash is a joke. The vast majority of people who don't like the idea of gays coming out are right wing religious Christians--certainly not all Christians--and they'll do or say anything to further their agenda. Whatever, they're entitled to their opinions...even if they're wrong.

If two people of the same sex get married, is that going to cause society to disintegrate? If it does, then that society shouldn't be there in the first place. Gays have served honorably in the armed forces throughout the world over time, have ruled empires (and that's another thing altogether), been good (and bad) politicians, have been teachers, doctors, lawyers, office workers, and more. In short, they're people with their good and points like everyone else. It's no big deal...and it shouldn't be.

Unfortunately, to some it is. I find it highly ironic that much of the crap that's occurred in sports i.e. thuggery and violence, rape, drug abuse and even murder, has been perpetrated by the straight players...but they're straight, so it's more or less accepted.

Sheesh...

Kim Fierce · May 1, 2013

Male athletes are definitely more newsworthy. No one seems surprised when, say, a WNBA player comes out, as one did not too long ago: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/18/brittney-griner-wnba-comes-out_n_3108637.html

It infuriates me that people believe in these lies, talk about how nasty gay people are, etc. They throw around the word sinner and say that we are standing up against God. It's ridiculous.

J.S.F. · May 1, 2013

Kim Fierce said:
Male athletes are definitely more newsworthy. No one seems surprised when, say, a WNBA player comes out, as one did not too long ago: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/18/brittney-griner-wnba-comes-out_n_3108637.html

It infuriates me that people believe in these lies, talk about how nasty gay people are, etc. They throw around the word sinner and say that we are standing up against God. It's ridiculous.

---

I'd say to take a chill pill and call me in the morning, but this kind of issue would make anyone's blood boil. Attitudes change very, very slowly. It's a bloody shame, really, but that's how it is. The only thing to do is educate and stand up for oneself.

If that doesn't work, sue the shit out of them.

But in all seriousness, the only thing you CAN do is attempt to educate these hypocrites...or ignore them, and ignoring them is often used, as they have the power, they're in the majority (in some cases), and they're NOT going to change their minds no matter what you do, say, or write.

Stay strong, Kim. (By the way, read your excerpt elsewhere on the forum. Nice, really nice).

Balthynu · May 1, 2013

Interesting article and good on him for doing it. It's lousy the way he had to point out that he wouldn't misbehave in the locker rooms as though other players would be worried about it. It's hard to believe mature professional worldly-wise (you'd hope) adult men would think anything else.

Kim Fierce · May 1, 2013

I think the homophobia is a reflection on oneself. . . how would a straight man act in a locker room full of women? I guess the ones who freak out about what a gay man would do in a locker room full of other men would be the ones who would consider themselves as being perverted if they were in a similar situation.

Deleted member 42 · May 1, 2013

I rather liked Sherman Alexie's take on Collins:

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/...-straight-men-everywhere/Content?oid=16638642

J.S.F. · May 1, 2013

Medievalist said:
I rather liked Sherman Alexie's take on Collins:

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/...-straight-men-everywhere/Content?oid=16638642

---

It made me chuckle. Thing is, he's right in pretty much everything he says.

Worth reading.

Roxxsmom · May 2, 2013

That made me laugh.

Still, I've often wondered if the "fear" many straight men have is due to their projecting their own predatory sexual attitudes about women onto gay men. They don't so much assume that every straight woman wants to jump their bones as they want to jump the bones of every woman they see at some level (pretty or not). I asked a male friend once why he got so angry every time he saw a women he deemed unattractive (he really seemed to take it personally if a woman was fat or did not shave her legs) and he said it grossed him out to imagine himself in bed with ugly women.

My response to that was, well then ... don't. To which he replied. "I can't help it, I'm a guy."

It was sort of a revelation for me. I mean, as a woman I think of sex a kajillion times a day, but not with every random stranger I see, and most especially not with unattractive random strangers.

Of course the fear of unwanted sexual attention, even assault, is something women live with every day of their lives.

So I'm wondering if it's uncomfortable to think you might be on the receiving end of objectification and unwanted sexual attention when you're used to being in the driver's seat? I'm certainly not excusing or justifying this fear (in fact, I'm very non sympathetic about it on all levels), but I wonder if that's some of why some straight men seem more terrified of gay men than some straight women are of lesbian women?

SomethingOrOther · May 3, 2013

Roxxsmom said:
I asked a male friend once why he got so angry every time he saw a women he deemed unattractive (he really seemed to take it personally if a woman was fat or did not shave her legs) and he said it grossed him out to imagine himself in bed with ugly women.

My response to that was, well then ... don't. To which he replied. "I can't help it, I'm a guy."

It was sort of a revelation for me. I mean, as a woman I think of sex a kajillion times a day, but not with every random stranger I see, and most especially not with unattractive random strangers.

His excuse — "I can't help it, I'm a guy" — is a big pet peeve of mine. (Propagation of inaccurate stereotypes, and a cowardly refusal to own up to one's own faults.) Even when people say it jokingly, I always think, You mean "I can't help it, I'm me."

His reasoning is pretty jerk-assy. You mean that this is a revelation about your friend's character and that of guys like him, right (not about all, or even most, heterosexual guys)?

Kitty Pryde · May 3, 2013

My Collins jersey is in the mail! I'm excited. I am a big fan of WNBA but they just don't have anything like the same exposure that the big male sports leagues do. This is really a huge deal. He's (and many others too) paving the way for many more people to come. Brendan Ayanbadejo has stated that 4 active NFL players are on the verge of coming out. One day this will not be a big deal, but today it is. Kids are watching their adults to see how they react to this.

Kim Fierce · May 3, 2013

Awesome, Kitty! Well you are right, even when my team (Indiana Fever) is in the playoffs or something, that's the only time of the year when the seats are *almost* full in a home game lol.

nighttimer · May 3, 2013

Medievalist said:
I rather liked Sherman Alexie's take on Collins:

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/...-straight-men-everywhere/Content?oid=16638642

That was hilarious. I'm soooooo reposting this on Facebook and Twitter. :ROFL:

Roxxsmom · May 3, 2013

SomethingOrOther said:
His excuse — "I can't help it, I'm a guy" — is a big pet peeve of mine. (Propagation of inaccurate stereotypes, and a cowardly refusal to own up to one's own faults.) Even when people say it jokingly, I always think, You mean "I can't help it, I'm me."

His reasoning is pretty jerk-assy. You mean that this is a revelation about your friend's character and that of guys like him, right (not about all, or even most, heterosexual guys)?

And just to make it clear I'm not Y bashing or overgeneralizing his explanation to all males, I personally know many, many more heterosexual males who do not share this attitude and who are not homophobic either. And calling this person a friend is perhaps oversimplifying--he was someone who was friends with one of my college roommates and is not someone I've kept up with over the years

Though it's possible he's matured since then. One can only hope.

But I have noticed that many of the homophobic guys I've met and actually spoken to about it at all over the years seem to have a similar attitude. They seem to think that all women are potentially there "for" them and seem to be projecting their attitudes onto gay men.

They really seem to think that gay men are lusting after them en masse. Which is pretty darned sad.

J.S.F. · May 3, 2013

Roxxsmom said:
But I have noticed that many of the homophobic guys I've met and actually spoken to about it at all over the years seem to have a similar attitude. They seem to think that all women are potentially there "for" them and seem to be projecting their attitudes onto gay men.

They really seem to think that gay men are lusting after them en masse. Which is pretty darned sad.

---

I think a lot of those dudes have the impression that they've got the drop-the-panties charisma about them when in reality they've got all the personality of a wet dish towel. In other words, they think they're God's gift to women and don't realize what scuzzbags they are. No wonder they die old and single.

As for gay guys lusting after them, that's their own insecurity working. A couple of years before I got married, I lived in a dorm house of sorts in Kyoto with pretty much everyone under the sun. One of the guys who lived across the hall from me told me he was gay.

My reaction. Oh, rlly? I had absolutely no idea. He never hit on me, either, and he told me gay dudes generally weren't into that. I suppose some are, just like straight guys like to hit on women. I suppose if a guy is that insecure about himself maybe he can't help projecting.

And yeah, it IS sorta sad.

Maythe · May 4, 2013

Still, I've often wondered if the "fear" many straight men have is due to their projecting their own predatory sexual attitudes about women onto gay men.

I've come to this conclusion too. A guy I knew was making a 'joke' about worrying about bending over to pick something up in front of a gay man and I came to the conclusion it was because he always checked out the arse of any woman who bent over in front of him (and who knows, maybe sometimes he didn't keep his hands to himself) and assumed the same was true of gay men. Also some straight guys deliberately eye up women in a predatory way - they're not being simply appreciative - there's an assumption that they're doing something to her. So if a gay man appreciates their arse they take it as something being done to them because that's how they look at women. A straight man's attitude to gay men can be quite revealing about his approach to women. IMO.

KingAlanI · May 5, 2013

Excellent!
Since major league men's sports are such a big part of our society, this has a lot of visibility.
I figure that since a lot of sports have a macho reputation, stuff like this helps dispel nasty effeminate stereotypes.

"Homophobia - the fear that gay men will treat you the same way you treat women" Some of the comments here reminded me of that line.

nighttimer · May 18, 2013

"You can play, just don't tell anyone you're gay.'

An interesting development is Brittney Griner's statement to ESPN that she was told not to talk about her sexuality while at Baylor University because it might hurt recruiting.

Former Baylor women's basketball star Brittney Griner says that Kim Mulkey, her college head coach, told players not to be open publicly about their sexuality because it would hurt recruiting and look bad for the program.

"It was a recruiting thing," Griner said during an interview with ESPN The Magazine and espnW. "The coaches thought that if it seemed like they condoned it, people wouldn't let their kids come play for Baylor."

Griner, now preparing for her first WNBA season with the Phoenix Mercury, casually acknowledged she was gay during interviews with USA Today and with SI.com last month, when she referred to herself as "someone who has always been open." Griner said she had been open about her sexuality with family and friends since she was a freshman at Nimitz High School, in Houston.

In a series of interviews -- including one on camera Friday -- for an ESPN The Magazine and espnW.com story set to hit newsstands later this month, Griner said her silence during college was because Mulkey and her staff were concerned about the program's image.

"It was more of a unwritten law [to not discuss your sexuality] ... it was just kind of, like, one of those things, you know, just don't do it," Griner said Friday. "They kind of tried to make it, like, 'Why put your business out on the street like that?'"
But Griner reiterated on Friday that her sexuality was an open secret at Baylor.

"I told Coach [Mulkey] when she was recruiting me. I was like, 'I'm gay. I hope that's not a problem,' and she told me that it wasn't," Griner said. "I mean, my teammates knew, obviously they all knew. Everybody knew about it."

The college athlete is already one of the most exploited workers in America. For a supposed domicile of "higher learning" to tell a student to essentially "shut up and play ball" because we don't want potential recruits to think there are any LESBIANS on the team disgusts me to no end.

Griner's record-breaking performance makes her one of the greatest players in college basketball history and I don't mean just women's basketball. She is by word and deed a "role model" and she will be in the WNBA.

However, she could have been one at Baylor for young women but they put a greater emphasis on their image than Griner being free to be who she really is.

Deleted member 42 · May 19, 2013

nighttimer said:
However, she could have been one at Baylor for young women but they put a greater emphasis on their image than Griner being free to be who she really is.

Baylor as part of its identity as a Christian school is generally listed on lists of schools who are not LGBT friendly. They're on the Stay Away list for LGBT faculty. They have no official LGBT groups for students, faculty or alums.

In the 1990s they asked a Jewish colleague of mine to sign a statement of faith as a condition of employment.

Pro Basketball Player Comes Out

slhuang

Inappropriately math-oriented.

Roxxsmom

Raised by Wolves

J.S.F.

Red fish, blue fish...

Kim Fierce

Attack me with everything you have.

J.S.F.

Red fish, blue fish...

Kim Fierce

Attack me with everything you have.

J.S.F.

Red fish, blue fish...

Balthynu

Kim Fierce

Attack me with everything you have.

Deleted member 42

J.S.F.

Red fish, blue fish...

Roxxsmom

Raised by Wolves

SomethingOrOther

-

Kitty Pryde

i luv you giant bear statue

Kim Fierce

Attack me with everything you have.

nighttimer

Am I Evil? Yes, I Am!

Roxxsmom

Raised by Wolves

J.S.F.

Red fish, blue fish...

Maythe

KingAlanI

nighttimer

Am I Evil? Yes, I Am!

Deleted member 42