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Re: Sparks
Fresie, if the boy's father's return begins the whole chain of events that changes the boy's life, I'd say that's your beginning. Remember Uncle Jim's "theater door" analogy? If you think that's when the boy can't turn back, it's your beginning.
Also, it seems like your story involves the boy's "hero's journey" of some sort. And usually (and I say "usually") a hero's journey starts with some type of "ordinary world." And it seems like the boy's peaceful life is his ordinary world, then his father's return changes everything.
A book doesn't have to start with a "wham bang!" conflict. However, IMHO (and I've learned that the hard way), you do need a hook up front. Something to hook the readers and they'd want to find out what will happen or how something happens...
If you start your book with the boy's happy, peaceful life, the readers might ask: hmmm, what is this about? Why do I care? It might not be a bad thing if you hint at something bad is going to happen, and then at the end of the chapter deliver that. Another way to do it might to be preface the chapter (not a prologue, but say, a first sentence/paragraph) to foreshadow the problem? Then go back to your boy's happy life -- leaving it suspenseful for the readers to want to read more.
In my first novel, I started with: "Betrayal makes us do strange things." Then I pull back into narrative. The readers won't get to know what betrayal I'm talking about until the end of the chapter. But that plants a seed in their head and hopefully they'd want to find out...
Hope this helps.
Fresie, if the boy's father's return begins the whole chain of events that changes the boy's life, I'd say that's your beginning. Remember Uncle Jim's "theater door" analogy? If you think that's when the boy can't turn back, it's your beginning.
Also, it seems like your story involves the boy's "hero's journey" of some sort. And usually (and I say "usually") a hero's journey starts with some type of "ordinary world." And it seems like the boy's peaceful life is his ordinary world, then his father's return changes everything.
A book doesn't have to start with a "wham bang!" conflict. However, IMHO (and I've learned that the hard way), you do need a hook up front. Something to hook the readers and they'd want to find out what will happen or how something happens...
If you start your book with the boy's happy, peaceful life, the readers might ask: hmmm, what is this about? Why do I care? It might not be a bad thing if you hint at something bad is going to happen, and then at the end of the chapter deliver that. Another way to do it might to be preface the chapter (not a prologue, but say, a first sentence/paragraph) to foreshadow the problem? Then go back to your boy's happy life -- leaving it suspenseful for the readers to want to read more.
In my first novel, I started with: "Betrayal makes us do strange things." Then I pull back into narrative. The readers won't get to know what betrayal I'm talking about until the end of the chapter. But that plants a seed in their head and hopefully they'd want to find out...
Hope this helps.
Re: opening
Great stuff, guys! Thanks a lot! Your support and opinion mean really a lot to me.
Maestro -- yours is a fabulous opening. I will most definitely start the story off with a quality hook -- I'm not going to make it sugary, no. And yes, the boy will live to become a hero -- or rather, a successful secret agent (it's a fictionalised biography).
Thanks a lot!
Fresie
Great stuff, guys! Thanks a lot! Your support and opinion mean really a lot to me.
Maestro -- yours is a fabulous opening. I will most definitely start the story off with a quality hook -- I'm not going to make it sugary, no. And yes, the boy will live to become a hero -- or rather, a successful secret agent (it's a fictionalised biography).
Thanks a lot!
Fresie
Re: Learn Writing with Uncle Jim
Fresie,
I'm with the others on this. If the father's return is what changes the boy's life, then that's your entry point, not his arrest. And having it happen at the end of the first chapter is fine -- normal gives us a reference point to see how he's moved from the beginning of the story to the end.
Danny, where do you live? I wanna move there! :b
Fresie,
I'm with the others on this. If the father's return is what changes the boy's life, then that's your entry point, not his arrest. And having it happen at the end of the first chapter is fine -- normal gives us a reference point to see how he's moved from the beginning of the story to the end.
Danny, where do you live? I wanna move there! :b
Re: Learn Writing with Uncle Jim
I am still reading the thread and just got to page 67. I wanted to give Jim cu-dos for how he handles hecklers as he did in this response to some strange person on page 66:
Jim: "I'm not entirely sure you're interested in writing commercial fiction, Solitarely, so I'm not sure what help I can give you."
I think you can tell more about a person by how they treat an enemy then how they treat a friend.
I am still reading the thread and just got to page 67. I wanted to give Jim cu-dos for how he handles hecklers as he did in this response to some strange person on page 66:
Jim: "I'm not entirely sure you're interested in writing commercial fiction, Solitarely, so I'm not sure what help I can give you."
I think you can tell more about a person by how they treat an enemy then how they treat a friend.
Re: Sparks
Jim, how do you deal with things that distract and drain your energy?
As mentioned in another thread, the elections have been building a terrible stress in me. It's continuous and draining. I can't seem to focus on my work.
I've tried all my usual tricks to buckle down, but they aren't working. And there's no point in waiting for election day to come and go since the fight may continue well past the second.
What do I do?
:ack
edited to add:
And just as I post this, I get an email from my local NPR station telling me they're putting on a show dealing with pre-election stress anxiety.
Jim, how do you deal with things that distract and drain your energy?
As mentioned in another thread, the elections have been building a terrible stress in me. It's continuous and draining. I can't seem to focus on my work.
I've tried all my usual tricks to buckle down, but they aren't working. And there's no point in waiting for election day to come and go since the fight may continue well past the second.
What do I do?
:ack
-----------------------
edited to add:
And just as I post this, I get an email from my local NPR station telling me they're putting on a show dealing with pre-election stress anxiety.
Re: Learn Writing with Uncle Jim
What do I do?
I'm going to the library, where there aren't any televisions and there's a line for the internet, to do some editing.
What do I do?
I'm going to the library, where there aren't any televisions and there's a line for the internet, to do some editing.
Re: Learn Writing with Uncle Jim
Deah HConn,
You didn't ask me, so I hope you don't mind if I contribute.
I work in a place where's there's no internet, no TV (I don't have one at home either). I take my laptop and work. The only radio I allow is the afternoon Mozart if the noise isn't distracting.
When I talk to others in the building, it's about art or how to turn up the heat. No real life stuff.
For me work, the writing work, is a vacation from all the stresses.
I've cut back on e-mail correspondence as well, though I do have friends on both sides of issues sending mail.
IOW--get somewhere the noise ain't.
Deah HConn,
You didn't ask me, so I hope you don't mind if I contribute.
I work in a place where's there's no internet, no TV (I don't have one at home either). I take my laptop and work. The only radio I allow is the afternoon Mozart if the noise isn't distracting.
When I talk to others in the building, it's about art or how to turn up the heat. No real life stuff.
For me work, the writing work, is a vacation from all the stresses.
I've cut back on e-mail correspondence as well, though I do have friends on both sides of issues sending mail.
IOW--get somewhere the noise ain't.
Amateur Photography qua Terrorism
A bit off topic, but in the vein of the post by Uncle Jim about that author who was harassed for her research, I wrote about a recent experience I had in Atlanta, Georgia on my blog. Because my blog is new, I won't point anyone to it, I'll just copy and paste the entry here:
I was on a business trip in Atlanta last week and had a surreal experience that deserves sharing. While lost in downtown Atlanta (the lack of signs and abundance of one-way streets give Portland, Oregon a run for its money on claims to "Most Un-user-friendly Downtown"), I passed the corporate headquarters for Coca-Cola. Now I like Coke. A lot. So I thought, "Hey, I'll use my new Nikon 4100 digital camera to take some pics of the Coca-Cola building. Fun! Like Mecca for Coke addicts! So, I parked at the YMCA across the street, walked to a public park across the street from the front of the Coca-Cola building, and start snapping off some pics. Mind you, it's about 4 in the afternoon when I did this. I took about half a dozen shots and headed back for the car. As I was crossing the street, one of Atlanta's Finest pulled up next to me. "Excuse me, sir. Were you taking pictures of the Coca-Cola building?" "Yes. You don't want me to delete the pictures, do you?" "Well, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. With all the terrorism and everything, you're making the folks over at the Coke building nervous by taking pictures." "Well, I'm finished taking pictures anyway, so yeah, I'll go." "Thank you, sir."
I know taking pictures of buildings, especially while standing in a public park, is totally legal, so what's this cop doing bothering me about it? And let's say I was a terrorist. I think I'd be a little more sneaky about trying to get those photos. Like, maybe come at night, dressed in dark blue. Hide in a tree, maybe. I may even get my oil-baron backers to spring for a camera a little more powerful and effective than an auto-everything Nikon that I bought at Wal-Mart for $275! But these thoughts must not cross the minds of the security droids sitting at the desk of the Coca-Cola building. Nice public interface, Coke! Nice public relations! An obvious tourist from out of town snapping a few pics of the building, and all you can think is, "Get that terrorist out of here!" Let's hear it for paranoia!
A bit off topic, but in the vein of the post by Uncle Jim about that author who was harassed for her research, I wrote about a recent experience I had in Atlanta, Georgia on my blog. Because my blog is new, I won't point anyone to it, I'll just copy and paste the entry here:
I was on a business trip in Atlanta last week and had a surreal experience that deserves sharing. While lost in downtown Atlanta (the lack of signs and abundance of one-way streets give Portland, Oregon a run for its money on claims to "Most Un-user-friendly Downtown"), I passed the corporate headquarters for Coca-Cola. Now I like Coke. A lot. So I thought, "Hey, I'll use my new Nikon 4100 digital camera to take some pics of the Coca-Cola building. Fun! Like Mecca for Coke addicts! So, I parked at the YMCA across the street, walked to a public park across the street from the front of the Coca-Cola building, and start snapping off some pics. Mind you, it's about 4 in the afternoon when I did this. I took about half a dozen shots and headed back for the car. As I was crossing the street, one of Atlanta's Finest pulled up next to me. "Excuse me, sir. Were you taking pictures of the Coca-Cola building?" "Yes. You don't want me to delete the pictures, do you?" "Well, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. With all the terrorism and everything, you're making the folks over at the Coke building nervous by taking pictures." "Well, I'm finished taking pictures anyway, so yeah, I'll go." "Thank you, sir."
I know taking pictures of buildings, especially while standing in a public park, is totally legal, so what's this cop doing bothering me about it? And let's say I was a terrorist. I think I'd be a little more sneaky about trying to get those photos. Like, maybe come at night, dressed in dark blue. Hide in a tree, maybe. I may even get my oil-baron backers to spring for a camera a little more powerful and effective than an auto-everything Nikon that I bought at Wal-Mart for $275! But these thoughts must not cross the minds of the security droids sitting at the desk of the Coca-Cola building. Nice public interface, Coke! Nice public relations! An obvious tourist from out of town snapping a few pics of the building, and all you can think is, "Get that terrorist out of here!" Let's hear it for paranoia!
synopsis
Thank you, JP. That was quick!
What are the prevailing opinions on short synopses vs full length? Anyone ever receive feedback on either version?
Thank you, JP. That was quick!
What are the prevailing opinions on short synopses vs full length? Anyone ever receive feedback on either version?
Grammar vs Clarity.
I found myself writing a sentence similar to this the other day:
"Smith smashed the assasin's head against the bench. "He grabbed her by the hair and put his knife to her throat"
I then changed the assasin to a man and the sentence became: "He grabbed him by the hair and put his knife against his throat."
This second sentence incorrect because of the dual use of "his". Is it gramatically incorrect? If so, then how can my original sentence be gramatically correct.
Jim
I found myself writing a sentence similar to this the other day:
"Smith smashed the assasin's head against the bench. "He grabbed her by the hair and put his knife to her throat"
I then changed the assasin to a man and the sentence became: "He grabbed him by the hair and put his knife against his throat."
This second sentence incorrect because of the dual use of "his". Is it gramatically incorrect? If so, then how can my original sentence be gramatically correct.
Jim
Re: synopsis
Jim, the sentence isn't grammatically incorrect. It's just unclear.
Speaking of correctness, the spelling should be "assassin."
Jim, the sentence isn't grammatically incorrect. It's just unclear.
Speaking of correctness, the spelling should be "assassin."
Re: Synopsis
Do this:
Write a one line synopsis. (useful for the back of biz cards at conventions etc.)
Write a two paragraph synopsis. (Useful for query letters)
Write a one to two page synopsis. (what most want when they ask for a synop)
Write a very detailed ten page synopsis. (If they ask for a detailed synop)
Write a chapter by chapter outline synopsis. (some want this)
Then check the guidelines of where you will be submitting and you should be covered for whatever they ask for.
Do this:
Write a one line synopsis. (useful for the back of biz cards at conventions etc.)
Write a two paragraph synopsis. (Useful for query letters)
Write a one to two page synopsis. (what most want when they ask for a synop)
Write a very detailed ten page synopsis. (If they ask for a detailed synop)
Write a chapter by chapter outline synopsis. (some want this)
Then check the guidelines of where you will be submitting and you should be covered for whatever they ask for.
Re: synopsis
Prometheus-
I would have to disagree with your comment about the likely behavior of terrorists. I would guess that a terrorist would do exactly what you did. why do anything suspicious and likely to get you introuble if caught, like sneaking around at night, when you can imitate a tourist in broad daylight?
that said, i agree with the substance of your post. it is odd for them to stop you since, it's legal and a given person is almost certainly a terrorist. furthermore there's no way they could possibly prevent someone from getting pictures of the building anyway. it's not something they can reasonsble hope to control, even if they decided it was necessary for security.
Prometheus-
I would have to disagree with your comment about the likely behavior of terrorists. I would guess that a terrorist would do exactly what you did. why do anything suspicious and likely to get you introuble if caught, like sneaking around at night, when you can imitate a tourist in broad daylight?
that said, i agree with the substance of your post. it is odd for them to stop you since, it's legal and a given person is almost certainly a terrorist. furthermore there's no way they could possibly prevent someone from getting pictures of the building anyway. it's not something they can reasonsble hope to control, even if they decided it was necessary for security.
More Guidelines
Another possible market (short story): <a href="http://www.allstarstories.com/epics-guidelines.html" target="_new">Guidelines Here</a>.
Another possible market (short story): <a href="http://www.allstarstories.com/epics-guidelines.html" target="_new">Guidelines Here</a>.
Re: synopsis
For the folks who haven't gone to the link, here's the pay on that last anthology:
<blockquote>
WHAT WE’RE PAYING
For First Print and Electronic World Anthology Rights:
* For pieces over ten thousand words: Twenty dollars.
* For pieces between five thousand and ten thousand words: Fifty dollars.
* For pieces five thousand words and under: One hundred dollars.
Authors will also receive two copies of the anthology on publication.</blockquote>
For the folks who haven't gone to the link, here's the pay on that last anthology:
<blockquote>
WHAT WE’RE PAYING
For First Print and Electronic World Anthology Rights:
* For pieces over ten thousand words: Twenty dollars.
* For pieces between five thousand and ten thousand words: Fifty dollars.
* For pieces five thousand words and under: One hundred dollars.
Authors will also receive two copies of the anthology on publication.</blockquote>
Niven's Laws
Meanwhile:
<BLOCKQUOTE>
Niven's Laws For Writers
1) Writers who write for other writers should write letters.
2) Never be embarrased or ashamed about anything you choose to write. (Think of this before you send it to a market)
3) Stories to end all stories on a given topic, don't.
4) It is a sin to waste the reader's time.
5) If you've nothing to say, say it any way you like. Stylistic innovations, contorted story lines or none, exotic or genderless pronouns, internal inconsistencies, the recipe for preparing your lover as a cannibal banquet: feel free. If what you have to say is important and/or difficult to follow, use the simplest language possible. If the reader doesn't get it then, let it not be your fault.
6) Everybody talks first draft.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
Meanwhile:
<BLOCKQUOTE>
Niven's Laws For Writers
1) Writers who write for other writers should write letters.
2) Never be embarrased or ashamed about anything you choose to write. (Think of this before you send it to a market)
3) Stories to end all stories on a given topic, don't.
4) It is a sin to waste the reader's time.
5) If you've nothing to say, say it any way you like. Stylistic innovations, contorted story lines or none, exotic or genderless pronouns, internal inconsistencies, the recipe for preparing your lover as a cannibal banquet: feel free. If what you have to say is important and/or difficult to follow, use the simplest language possible. If the reader doesn't get it then, let it not be your fault.
6) Everybody talks first draft.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
Re: More Guidelines
Did anyone notice in the guidelines that all the epics they like are novel length? Yet they want short story epics. Not an easy task... Right off the bat, the term "epic" makes me think "bloated." (Okay, just kidding, but at least "long and involved.")
Did anyone notice in the guidelines that all the epics they like are novel length? Yet they want short story epics. Not an easy task... Right off the bat, the term "epic" makes me think "bloated." (Okay, just kidding, but at least "long and involved.")
Re: synopsis
I sorta thought that was the point, or the challenge involved - to get the sensation of the epic scope and grandeur, without the extra verbiage....
BT
I sorta thought that was the point, or the challenge involved - to get the sensation of the epic scope and grandeur, without the extra verbiage....
BT
Depicting Emotions
My biggest problem is depicting the POV character's emotional reactions to external events. I can only have him go dry mouthed, or feel like he's been punched in the stomach etc so many times before it begins to feel repititious and lame.
Any advice, oh great and wise Uncle Jim?
Cheers
Man with Two Handed Sword
My biggest problem is depicting the POV character's emotional reactions to external events. I can only have him go dry mouthed, or feel like he's been punched in the stomach etc so many times before it begins to feel repititious and lame.
Any advice, oh great and wise Uncle Jim?
Cheers
Man with Two Handed Sword
Re: Niven's Laws
Oh my gosh, there's so many things to do to react to the Bad Things.
He can:
Feel the blood drain from his face
Have hands that shake uncontrollably
Let his bladder go (this is actually one of the primary fight or flight responses of animals, humans included if the stimulus is severe enough)
Clench his hands until his knuckles turn white
Feel like he is going to pass out
Actually pass out
Heart race like it is going to jump out of his chest(and all that entails)
If you're talking about fear, you might google "Fear responses" or "responses of the sympathetic nervous system" or try "Fight or Flight". The symp. nerv. /fight or flight thing would probably help for alot of things, not just fear. Make yourself a good list.
See what good two semesters of Anatomy and Physiology can do for you?
Have fun
Oh my gosh, there's so many things to do to react to the Bad Things.
He can:
Feel the blood drain from his face
Have hands that shake uncontrollably
Let his bladder go (this is actually one of the primary fight or flight responses of animals, humans included if the stimulus is severe enough)
Clench his hands until his knuckles turn white
Feel like he is going to pass out
Actually pass out
Heart race like it is going to jump out of his chest(and all that entails)
If you're talking about fear, you might google "Fear responses" or "responses of the sympathetic nervous system" or try "Fight or Flight". The symp. nerv. /fight or flight thing would probably help for alot of things, not just fear. Make yourself a good list.
See what good two semesters of Anatomy and Physiology can do for you?
Have fun
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