Missionary position sex scenes

I thought someone was going to ask for porn recs.

Missionary is fine, but missionary (and any other) position with unconvincing lead-up and ridiculous orgasms during boring sex of tab A into slot B variety sure makes me seethe.

You have a right to get bent out of shape at bad sex scenes.

Yeah, I get a bit bent out of shape about it too, because it's not logical unless they're having a "quickie", like in a public area for example. I want a build up to things, and lots of it if possible, not just a "get the clothes off, go at it and finish fast" within two sentences or less. It's rather boring and makes me yawn.

I don't think you're reading too much into it, and I don't think we're the only two who get ticked off when it's done like you described. Building up to it only makes it better in my opinion, and if they finish too fast, well, that screams that the author was rushing to "get the sex scene over with" in my opinion. Change things up and at least toss in some foreplay please!

It does get a little annoying, but I also think it's part of the fantasy for a lot of people. Which is not to say that climaxing through penetration alone is an inherently unrealistic thing for a woman to do, it's just that women who can manage it seem to get an inordinate amount of representation compared to women who can't.

It's a darn shame too, because few things are dreamier than a guy who takes the time to make his gal feel good. Then again, for "sweeter" romances, I can see why the author would want the FMC to feel satisfied without having to go into a ton of detail? Maybe? I don't know? But I feel like a good enough writer could even portray foreplay in a more poetic, less graphic manner, like what is often the case with missionary sex scenes.

I think you have to factor in the specifics of a character. A FMC in college, for example, who isn't very experienced, won't necessarily be doing mattress gymnastics when she's having sex for the first time with someone new.

The simultaneous or shortly thereafter orgasm? With erotica and romance, it falls under "suspension of disbelief," in my opinion, akin to the staples of every male is hung, gorgeous, and knows exactly what they are doing in the bedroom.

It's not the position itself, I don't think. Just the general boredom of the scene. A into B and you're done. How about some warmup? Foreplay? Oral. Stimulation outside of the vagina. And so on. You don't have to be very experienced to know that just PIV sex won't do much for most women.

I agree about the foreplay! My comments were in regards to the other two parts of her initial thread - missionary position (most women's inability to climax) and the simultaneous orgasms.

Proof that romance is a sub-genre of fantasy.

And many readers want fantasy. They want to be able to orgasm like that so they like to read about it.

It's not that it's represented as being possible, it's that it's represented as being the norm or something that's achieved effortlessly. I realize that stories with sex in them that aren't erotica have to go light on the description of mechanics, but there are ways to hint and imply that a couple is having to be a bit creative.

But at the other end of the spectrum are representations of positions that are probably impossible for anyone who's not an amazingly flexible acrobat to perform comfortably.

Kathl33n said:

Does anybody else (other than me) get bent out of shape when there are stories with sex scenes in them, they're doing it missionary-style (with nothing extra at all involved except insert A into slot B), and there's not much foreplay involved, and the female character is able to orgasm right along with her man?

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This is not my genre, but I gotta confess; the title of this thread caught my attention.

Now, are you talking about a story describing a couple having sex for the first time? Because in that case, yes, I'd say that normally happens in the missionary position, and there isn't a whole lot of experimenting or foreplay. If I were to read a story in which a man and woman are experiencing their first intimate moment, and she hops into a doggie position, something's wrong. Something's seriously wrong.

I'll agree that if the woman in every written sex scene is able to orgasm, that's not reality. But what's the author to write? That she was faking it?

Everything we write should be a tool to advance the story in some way. What I get ticked off about is that ALL the sex we write about HAS to be the oh-my-god-hottest-thing-we've-ever-even-thought-about-I'm-even-blusing-I'm-turned-on-by-it type. If sweet and gentle face-to-face missionary sex is what the story calls for, then use it. If you need something spicier for the effect you want, then use that. It's not the tool that's good or bad but the use of the tool that makes the scene work or not.

Chris P said:

sweet and gentle face-to-face missionary sex

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How lewd.

That's almost as dirty as handholding.

Yeah, I kind of got put off by the amount of vanilla missionary in stuff I read. It's all they do, their orgasms are explosive, ect ect. Nothing wrong with one position, but a lot of people do more than that; it'd be nice to see fiction reflecting that fact.

I must be reading different books, because in the ones I read (and write) usually involve someone getting bent over a couch or pool table, shoved up against a wall or some other non-missionary position. And there's usually something going on with the hands to push the heroine over that climactic cliff.

Of course, that may have more to do with the fact that I like to read stories with higher heat ratings. I got bored with vanilla sex in books a long time ago.

Some women do climax from penetration alone. I think in romance, it's part of the "look at the big studly alpha dude getting his woman off with his dick" sort of thing, but it's also reality for some women.

If there's absolutely no lead up and they're just suddenly having sex, I might wonder *why* there's no lead-up, but I wouldn't find it unrealistic for the woman to climax that way, personally.

May I suggest that unless you are writing a "How to" manual, what's important is not the position or the technique but the reactions and emotions of the participants.

^ I like to endorse the notion that reactions should be pertinent to the actions.

Lil said:

May I suggest that unless you are writing a "How to" manual, what's important is not the position or the technique but the reactions and emotions of the participants.

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Couldn't have said it better

Emotions are important. I want to know what the POV character is feeling.

Lil said:

May I suggest that unless you are writing a "How to" manual, what's important is not the position or the technique but the reactions and emotions of the participants.

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If you're writing a hot romance (which I do), then I suggest you'll need the position, the technique, the reactions and emotions of the participants.

Because all those are important. Good sex scenes aren't only about emotions and metaphors.

Queen of Swords said:

If you're writing a hot romance (which I do), then I suggest you'll need the position, the technique, the reactions and emotions of the participants.

Because all those are important. Good sex scenes aren't only about emotions and metaphors.

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I agree with this. Basically, I want feel like I'm experiencing what the POV character is experiencing. I think that's important for any scene.

Even if the statistics are right, 30% of women can and do orgasm in this position. Why would you get bent out of shape when writers write about those women?

kuwisdelu said:

How lewd.

That's almost as dirty as handholding.

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Scandalous! There aughtta be a law.

Covers eyes. *too much information.*

-cb