The Thread Where Cray Now Rampages All by Himself

I notice that still wasn't a denial.

Haskins belongs to the world, Winks. That is why I offered to take my ax to him, so that we all might have a little shred to take home and cherish.

CassandraW said:

Haskins is a public accommodation for all of AW to use and enjoy.

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He's a porta-poet...

Btw Cass, it's your turn to hose him out. Make sure to use plenty of that blue sanitizer. And some bleach.

Oh, God. I have so missed you people!

And I want in on the spoof. IN! I do bad writing real well.

CassandraW said:

Don't tell me you're going to be Haskins for Halloween. I was planning to do that.

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You're going to do Haskins for Halloween? Awesome.

Can I watch?

robeiae said:

He's a porta-poet...

Btw Cass, it's your turn to hose him out. Make sure to use plenty of that blue sanitizer. And some bleach.

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Of course. Do I not always leave him sparkling?

GailD said:

Oh, God. I have so missed you people!

And I want in on the spoof. IN! I do bad writing real well.

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Excellent. Winks or I will kick it off Monday. Get your odd mythical figures and bad torrid writing ready!

Cass, if we want to start earlier on Monday, you might want to kick it off since I'm not free until late in the eve. Le sigh...

Gail, glad to have you join us in this fine literary endeavor. Soon I will also be wailing about the original travesty we are spoofing.

Lovely. Joy. Can't WAIT to read FSoG. Indeed. Quite.

tiddlywinks said:

Cass, if we want to start earlier on Monday, you might want to kick it off since I'm not free until late in the eve. Le sigh...

Gail, glad to have you join us in this fine literary endeavor. Soon I will also be wailing about the original travesty we are spoofing.

Lovely. Joy. Can't WAIT to read FSoG. Indeed. Quite.

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I will be delighted to kick it off. I can tell you now that I plan to do a total spoof of FSOG's opening -- except with oddball fantasy/horror characters and random LOTR touches. That's fitting, given the title of our spoof.

I see a virginal but feisty zombie, Thanatophilia Morte (Thana for short) with pale green skin that tends to shed whenever she is touched. (Heroine of FSOG is Anastasia Steele, Ana for short, btw.)

I see a wealthy, kinky, micro-managing, accordion-playing, legal-document-obsessed dwarf with a tousled copper-colored beard he can't bear anyone to touch. (Name to be determined, but I'm seeing a Latin legal term here, preferably one that could be given both a raunchy and a horror twist -- possibly Corpus Delicti Bane. Or just Corpus Bane, which has a similar ring to "Christian Grey," the hero of FSOG, but with a legal touch, a corpse-y horror touch, and a vaguely dwarflike sound. The Delicti might be too much, though the sound is a tad pornographic, isn't it? Since Corpus means body, and Bane means a cause of ruin or harm, that works rather nicely with our theme. Oh, and he might be electrically charged. Or perhaps that will be someone else. We'll see.)

I see legal teams, contracts, and non-disclosure agreements at every torrid plot twist. And a kinky dwarf equivalent to the Red Room of Pain -- name to be determined, but probably on the order of Golden Cavern of Bane unless something better crops up.

And Winks, if it happens you had a different idea about how to kick it off, the glorious thing is that you can use your idea anyway -- we can do a POV switch (any number of them, actually) and figure out how to tie the plot threads together later.

Gail, I'm thrilled you're joining us. Looks like we'll have at least four cabbies in on this endeavor -- and I'm guessing at least six, since I can't believe Angie and Jaycinth won't want to sink their teeth into it.

And Winks? You will let me know periodically how you're enjoying FSOG, won't you?

BTW -- humor? office party? horror? or some other forum?

I lean toward humor because I think we can get away with being a bit more over the top here. Then again, office party would probably pull in more participants (but would they necessarily be as likely to get into the proper spirit as the folks we'd get in here?). And of course, FSOD would also fit nicely in horror.

Hate to say it, chihuey, but I rather like the idea of having it in a forum you moderate. It's a compliment. Really, it is.

Thoughts?


ETA:

I'm not going to suggest erotica. Not only is it password protected, but I also am not at all sure the erotica folks would enjoy having it there. Moreover, I think it will be funnier if we have to exercise some restraint in the torrid scenes.

Maybe the golden cavern of bane should be his mothers basement. She's known as the censor board or some other nonsense. There could be embarrassment moments where she walks in with package deliveries.

tiddlywinks said:

Maybe the golden cavern of bane should be his mothers basement. She's known as the censor board or some other nonsense. There could be embarrassment moments where she walks in with package deliveries.

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OMG, yes! And there actually is a sex scene in FSOG where the hero's adoptive mother comes to his place and is knocking on his bedroom door at an inconvenient moment! Oh, that will surely be in there!

And the hero of FSOG has HUGE mother issues, both with his real mother (a crack whore) and his adoptive mother (wealthy and a tad too smooth and perfect). Our hero will have mommy issues too. Big. Time.

(BTW, in the spirit of Halloween and FSOD, I've temporarily put up a silly profile pic from last Halloween. I'll probably delete it in like a day, and I've blocked out my friend's face, but it's pretty goofy. My gown would fit nicely into LOTR, while my friend would fit into our spoof somewhere...)

I'ma thinking since the intent is to provide laughs, it should be posted in P&CE.

Just kidding.

Humor. Regardless of who moderates it (Jay and regdog moderate here too).

Haggis said:

I'ma thinking since the intent is to provide laughs, it should be posted in P&CE.

Just kidding.

Humor. Regardless of who moderates it (Jay and regdog moderate here too).

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Yeah, that was my gut.

Jay and Regdog are obviously also perfect mods for the FSOD thread. But you were the only one who came out and complained about it.

I think some mods might be a little more confused by the content than our mods.

CassandraW said:

BTW, in the spirit of Halloween and FSOD, I've temporarily put up a silly profile pic from last Halloween. I'll probably delete it in like a day, and I've blocked out my friend's face...

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Which face is the one that is supposed to be "blocked out"?

The one in the fancy gown. I have a naturally blurry complexion, and no facial features except eyebrows.

Which one is the "fancy" gown?

robeiae said:

Which one is the "fancy" gown?

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well, I meant the wine-colored floor-length one with gold trim, but I suppose my little outfit is pretty fetching, too.

*tosses golden mane provocatively*

Red wine or white wine?

And we don't say "colored." Or "trim." Those terms are offensive...*











*And so ends another day of Messing With Cassandra. Tune in tomorrow to see what happens next...

*scrubs robo with wire brush and blue sanitizer*
*douses him with bleach*

Better. Much better.

A little lower...a little to the left... ... ...ahhhh! That's the ticket!

You sparkle, robo. And now you too are ready for public use.

Hmmph. Good day, Madam!








I SAID GOOD DAY, MADAM!

You're an inhuman monster!



How could you build up my hopes like this and smash them all to pieces?

Inhuman?

Inhuman is what has been done to my avi, giving it sparkles.

I'm Team Jacob, dammit!

Oh, stop complaining. At least now you're clean.

I smash people's hearts on weekends.