Polyamorous relationship in the apocolypse

Status
Not open for further replies.

doomwdfortune

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 3, 2011
Messages
123
Reaction score
2
i was working on a story that would fallow 3 girls growing up during the zombie apocalypse and i wanted to have them eventually fall in love but im not sure how to really portray them falling in love and figuring out the whole Polyamorous thing so i figured id ask here and i thought it would be fun instead of just asking why not make it a little game were you come up with your own version of how it goes something to get the inspiration going
 

thedark

Weaving through the night.
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 12, 2013
Messages
1,558
Reaction score
463
Location
Not where Google thinks.
Just a random thought when I only have a few seconds... but if they weren't expecting to fall in love, ask yourself whether all three are falling for all three right off the bat, or does one for another first.. then slowly it becomes a triangle. Is it rife with jealousy in the beginning? Are they friends that just naturally shift into becoming lovers?

Is your story about their relationship, or about the apocalypse? If there's danger around, you can throw them together out of need/grief/loss/tension. If they life relatively normal lives inside a compound, throw in the normal human emotions anyone would experience when falling in love. The polyamorous aspect just adds more dimension, more intrigue.

It sounds like a fun read already. :)
 

doomwdfortune

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 3, 2011
Messages
123
Reaction score
2
the story was mostly about them surviving together in the apocalyps and how thay grow into them selfs and into lovers and sisters and family
 

Unimportant

No COVID yet. Still masking.
Staff member
Moderator
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 8, 2005
Messages
19,527
Reaction score
22,757
Location
Aotearoa
Maybe try the brainstorming section of AW; I'm not sure this is the place to ask for people to plot your stories for you.
 

doomwdfortune

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 3, 2011
Messages
123
Reaction score
2
it wasent to plot the story but more a question of how thay would portray this relationship in that set up
 

kkwalker

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 10, 2014
Messages
62
Reaction score
5
Question--in this polyamorous relationship, how deep is the relationship? What I mean is, are they polymonogamous, in that they form a triad that feels as if they are each married to both of the others? Or is it more loose than that, in that they are lovers that are more like friends with serious benefits?

The reason I ask is that the depth of feelings can be a real game changer from what I have seen, especially if it's imbalanced. Say A wants a forever arrangement with B, but B is more casual about it and wants a relationship with both A and C, while C is fine sharing or not sharing. What then?

Most poly relationships that I have seen actually seem more like the people involved are really good friends who have sex, not 'married'. If you are looking to establish a deeper bond than that, I would seriously recommend two of the women being involved and emotionally/relationship-wise very stable before the third is brought in. In the US, culture pushes us towards monogamy, making jealousy a serious issue for those raised in this culture. People have a hard time believing a partner when they say they love two people. It's difficult not to feel like your partner is going to eventually not want you any more. The training by society to be one-on-one is really difficult to overcome.

An alternative to this, of course, is to place your characters into a post-apocalyptic society in which multi-partnerships are normative. If the women don't have to fight societally-installed assumptions of monogamy, the jealousy issue might not be as difficult to overcome.
 

doomwdfortune

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 3, 2011
Messages
123
Reaction score
2
hi sorry i kinda though the thread had died the main idea i had is that the story would follow the 3 characters from around early teens to adulthood all while growing up during this apocalypse so they dont really have much cultural baggage and more or less have to define their own culture and relationship as thay grow
 

kkwalker

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 10, 2014
Messages
62
Reaction score
5
Hrm... well, if there are other people around, there will be a culture, along with cultural assumptions. Other people include parents, siblings, and townsfolk. So unless these three grew up in a vacuum from a very early age ( which would be difficult to survive) there will be some kind of influence from a cultural standpoint. If it's very early after whatever event caused your apocalypse, then the prevailing pre-apocalyptic cultural norms would apply. If it's a good deal of time later (a couple hundred years) then the norms probably will have changed.
 

doomwdfortune

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 3, 2011
Messages
123
Reaction score
2
their still relatively young at the beginning of the apocalypses and survive together without being part of a larger group so what im thinking is they didnt get much of the cultural assumptions befor since they were still a little to young to even run into them then afterwards they mostly stick together for long enough that theve become kinda their own unique culture
 

kkwalker

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 10, 2014
Messages
62
Reaction score
5
who raised them? I mean, a child doesn't pop out of the womb able to take care of itself, so someone must have been involved. What did that person or those people teach them?
 

doomwdfortune

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 3, 2011
Messages
123
Reaction score
2
by their parents but it was mostly the normal things you teach a kid when the apocalypse starts their still mostly to young to have ever really had a deep conversation about complex things like sexuality and relationships
 

KimJo

Outside the box, with the werewolves
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 17, 2005
Messages
4,028
Reaction score
356
Location
somewhere in Massachusetts
Website
karennacolcroft.com
As someone who's in a polyamorous relationship, I'm disagreeing a bit with the statement that poly folks are really good friends who have sex. "Polyamory" literally means "many loves". If someone has more than one friend they're having sex with, that might not be polyamory. It's having more than one friend you have sex with. Some people do use polyamory to describe that as well, but... personally, I understand polyamory to be *being in love* with more than one person. On the other hand, you could say deep friendship is a form of love, so it could be the same thing...

As for the marriage thing, being in love with someone doesn't necessarily mean you're married to them. (And I know some marriages that haven't got a thing to do with love at all.) Being in a polyamorous relationship doesn't necessarily mean you're having sex with all your partners; I know a few poly folk who are asexual. Not having sex with your partners, and/or not being married to them, doesn't mean the relationship is any less important, or any less polyamorous.

Polyamory just refers to loving more than one person, and there are many different ways to form those relationships. In my personal case, my husband and I were monogamous for several years, but it didn't "fit right" for me. I now have my husband and a long-distance committed boyfriend--which restates my point about sex not always being part of polyamory, given that it's kinda hard to have sex from 900 miles away. So we did do the "two people bring in a third" thing (though my boyfriend is mine, not my husband's). But I've known others who started as single and began dating--and fell in love with--two or three other people who have no connection to each other whatsoever. And a few who started as single, began dating and fell in love with two other people, who then met and also fell in love.

I can't remember the rules about linking to other forums here, but I believe it's frowned upon, so I'll play it safe. However, there are at least a couple of forums for poly folk, with a wealth of information about the many ways polyamory can work (or not work, in some cases). If you google "polyamory forum" you'll probably find them. Even if you aren't poly, it might help to read some of the threads there to get a better understanding of it.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.