A question of the taste of humour

Hillsy7 · Jul 3, 2014

Hi there,

I need a little help.

I'm writing a novel (arn't we all) that's intended to be a sci-fi crime thriller in genre, but humerous in tone. My MC is a detective, and at the moment I've cast his partner as a transvestite (After doing a bit of research I'm guessing he'd be pretty close to a transwoman). There are character mechanics to the choice, and after blitzing through the first 20-25K words, I was pretty excited by it and really enjoyed writing both the characters

Alas I hit...something...and haven't written for a few years. Now I'm trying to get back in the saddle and, as happens, fresh eyes have highlighted a potential hazard. Like "Delete the book immediately!" hazardous.

The two characters bicker and piss-take back and forth in three or four scenes - typically buddy-cop style dialogue. Problem is my experience with transfolk is as good as zero. I've done a bit of background research and that but it's never as helpful as real interaction. And so I'm very worried that in my ignorance, their banter might spill over into being offensive to trans people - regardless of the spirit it's supposed to be written in (both mine and the MC's - as far as he's concerned he's just taking the piss out of a friend).

I don't wanna show my ass and offend anyone. I would also like to feel I can progress further. To do that I need a clear example of where the lines are, what the MC would know his partner won't feel insulted by....something I can analyse so when I'm making future jokes, I'm doing it right.

So i'm asking if anyone would be so kind as to quickly read through the novel so far (Mainly the banter sections - I can highlight them - though if you want context for the character, read away). I'm hoping that because of the MC's perspective it'll come across with the warmth intended, but I could be wildly off the mark and the whole character concept for the partner, and the book would do better in the bin.

I'm not looking for a full critique or anything - just an indicator where I'm screwing up (I'm sure I will be), how far off the mark I am, and the key points between the characters that'll cause offence.

I appreciate I'm asking quite a lot, but I also want to have the characters as they are. I'm not an arse, but I also know there are big holes in my knowledge where I might cause offence through well meaning ignorance. I might still give some of these flaws to the MC anyway, but I want that to be an artistic decision, rather than the only choice I've got on the matter. Hell, I might also deliberately fold subplot between the characters where the MC is still a work in progress on the matter and does occasionally screw up, and learns.

Anyway - I'm rambling. An offer of help would be so gratefully appreciated - hopefully it won't take too much time, nor the tone be too poorly pitched.

Thanks

Hillsy

Osulagh · Jul 3, 2014

...you could just wait, become more active in the community, and when you have 50+ posts you can put your work up in the SYW section to see what people think.

Also, I think you should go back and read your old thread; if it fits your character, it's fine. Yes, there's somethings you can run over, but stop worrying so much because you're not going to please everyone all the time. As long as you're not making fun of "the" people in general to come off as opinionated and irrational and you're just writing the character the way they are, it should be fine.

If you don't want to fear offending someone with a subject you've never had experience with, I suggest you don't write about it. If you feel so insecure, then just avoid it altogether.

Deleted member 42 · Jul 3, 2014

Keep in mind too that transvestite is not the same as transgender—they are not at all synonyms. It sounds like you've kinda figured that out, but I wanted to warn you.

Little Ming · Jul 3, 2014

Hillsy7 said:
Hi there,

I need a little help.

I'm writing a novel (arn't we all) that's intended to be a sci-fi crime thriller in genre, but humerous in tone. My MC is a detective, and at the moment I've cast his partner as a transvestite (After doing a bit of research I'm guessing he'd be pretty close to a transwoman). There are character mechanics to the choice, and after blitzing through the first 20-25K words, I was pretty excited by it and really enjoyed writing both the characters

Alas I hit...something...and haven't written for a few years. Now I'm trying to get back in the saddle and, as happens, fresh eyes have highlighted a potential hazard. Like "Delete the book immediately!" hazardous.

The two characters bicker and piss-take back and forth in three or four scenes - typically buddy-cop style dialogue. Problem is my experience with transfolk is as good as zero. I've done a bit of background research and that but it's never as helpful as real interaction. And so I'm very worried that in my ignorance, their banter might spill over into being offensive to trans people - regardless of the spirit it's supposed to be written in (both mine and the MC's - as far as he's concerned he's just taking the piss out of a friend).

I don't wanna show my ass and offend anyone. I would also like to feel I can progress further. To do that I need a clear example of where the lines are, what the MC would know his partner won't feel insulted by....something I can analyse so when I'm making future jokes, I'm doing it right.

So i'm asking if anyone would be so kind as to quickly read through the novel so far (Mainly the banter sections - I can highlight them - though if you want context for the character, read away). I'm hoping that because of the MC's perspective it'll come across with the warmth intended, but I could be wildly off the mark and the whole character concept for the partner, and the book would do better in the bin.

I'm not looking for a full critique or anything - just an indicator where I'm screwing up (I'm sure I will be), how far off the mark I am, and the key points between the characters that'll cause offence.

I appreciate I'm asking quite a lot, but I also want to have the characters as they are. I'm not an arse, but I also know there are big holes in my knowledge where I might cause offence through well meaning ignorance. I might still give some of these flaws to the MC anyway, but I want that to be an artistic decision, rather than the only choice I've got on the matter. Hell, I might also deliberately fold subplot between the characters where the MC is still a work in progress on the matter and does occasionally screw up, and learns.

Anyway - I'm rambling. An offer of help would be so gratefully appreciated - hopefully it won't take too much time, nor the tone be too poorly pitched.

Thanks

Hillsy

To be honest, I think you're better off reading up more on the issues yourself. I know you mean well, but you don't know what you don't know, and I really feel like it would be unfair for someone else to explain all these issues to you, when you can do the research yourself. And I don't say that to be harsh. But in my experience trying to explain to someone else why what they wrote is "wrong" usually takes more time for me, and a lot of explaining the basics that the other person could have easily looked up on their own, than if they had spent more time doing the research themselves.

As a starting point, figure out if he is a transvestite or if she is a transwoman. It's not the same and one is not "pretty close" to the other.

artificialsilkgirl · Jul 6, 2014

Agreeing that reading more and thinking about your character's gender identity would be a really positive way to make sure you're not using tired transphobic tropes by accident. There are some really good resources on narratives, stereotypes and jokes that are damaging to trans women out there. You might have more luck looking for discussions about characters and plots in films/tv than in literature (there are some interesting recent discussions about the characters Rayon in The Dallas Buyer's Club and Sophia in Orange is the New Black that could be useful for thinking about representations of trans women). There are a lot of trans women writing about representation (Janet Mock, Tobi Hill-Meyer and Natalie Reed have really good articles online). Julia Serano's book Whipping Girl has a chapter on media tropes too.

Roxxsmom · Jul 6, 2014

Hillsy7 said:
Hi there,

I need a little help.

I'm writing a novel (arn't we all) that's intended to be a sci-fi crime thriller in genre, but humerous in tone. My MC is a detective, and at the moment I've cast his partner as a transvestite (After doing a bit of research I'm guessing he'd be pretty close to a transwoman). There are character mechanics to the choice, and after blitzing through the first 20-25K words, I was pretty excited by it and really enjoyed writing both the characters

Alas I hit...something...and haven't written for a few years. Now I'm trying to get back in the saddle and, as happens, fresh eyes have highlighted a potential hazard. Like "Delete the book immediately!" hazardous.

A couple of alarm bells here for me. For instance, the use of the word transvestite. While there's no hive mind among gender fluid people, and some do use this term, I believe it has largely fallen out of favor. As an outsider I'd avoid using it, because the nuances of when its use might be appropriate or in character could evade me, and I'd hate to be hurtful.

And it's also my understanding that trans women generally like to be referred to as "she" not "he." But again, it can be complex, and there certainly are men who identify as men who like to cross dress, whether for occasional role playing, or for everyday. Same for women, though it doesn't tend to get the same degree of "haw haws" in comedy.

Guy in dress=instant hilarity for some reason. Add exaggeratedly effeminate mannerisms and badly applied make up, and people will be wetting themselves

Hillsy7 said:
The two characters bicker and piss-take back and forth in three or four scenes - typically buddy-cop style dialogue. Problem is my experience with transfolk is as good as zero. I've done a bit of background research and that but it's never as helpful as real interaction.

This is the problem, I think. While it's certainly possible to write characters who are outside your personal experience, if the character in question is from an underrepresented and often maligned group, it takes a special amount of research and sensitivity . It would definitely help to run it by someone who has an insider's perspective to see if something inaccurate or potentially hurtful is present.

And humor is the hardest thing, both because it's hard for outsiders in any culture to grasp the nuances of what's truly funny, and because a joke that's funny if an insider tells it can be offensive if told by an outsider.

Hillsy7 said:
And so I'm very worried that in my ignorance, their banter might spill over into being offensive to trans people - regardless of the spirit it's supposed to be written in (both mine and the MC's - as far as he's concerned he's just taking the piss out of a friend).

...

Anyway - I'm rambling. An offer of help would be so gratefully appreciated - hopefully it won't take too much time, nor the tone be too poorly pitched.

Thanks

Hillsy

I think it's good you're thinking about this. I think maybe you should spend some more time researching this. Unfortunately, transgender people, and other people who don't fall into our society's strict definition of the gender binary, are still the butt of a lot of jokes, are still pathologized and dismissed, and they're still misrepresented and misunderstood even by people who want to be sympathetic or supportive.

Once you're more sure about the issues and possible stumbling blocks, I'd say you should definitely see if you can find a beta reader who is intimately familiar with the situation you're trying to capture in your story.

Marian Perera · Jul 6, 2014

Roxxsmom said:
Guy in dress=instant hilarity for some reason. Add exaggeratedly effeminate mannerisms and badly applied make up, and people will be wetting themselves

No kidding.

Lillith1991 · Jul 7, 2014

Hillsy7 said:
Hi there,

I need a little help.

I'm writing a novel (arn't we all) that's intended to be a sci-fi crime thriller in genre, but humerous in tone. My MC is a detective, and at the moment I've cast his partner as a transvestite (After doing a bit of research I'm guessing he'd be pretty close to a transwoman). There are character mechanics to the choice, and after blitzing through the first 20-25K words, I was pretty excited by it and really enjoyed writing both the characters

Alas I hit...something...and haven't written for a few years. Now I'm trying to get back in the saddle and, as happens, fresh eyes have highlighted a potential hazard. Like "Delete the book immediately!" hazardous.

[cut for length]

Thanks

Hillsy

I stand by what I said in your other thread. I don't think you're currently equipped to write this story. You don't yet know what the difference between a cross-dresser and a transwoman is, let alone an appropriate way to write this character who seems pretty important to the novel. I have many trans friends though I myself am cis-gendered, and no transwoman I've ever met in my life takes kindly to being called a transvestite or being referred to as male, they aren't male just like I am not male. Transwomen are females who were born with bits that don't match their gender identity, a transvestite enjoys being male. A transvestite is ok with being male and generally don't remember wishing they didn't have a penis like many pre-op transwomen wish even in early childhood.

I strongly caution you to do your research about this before you continue this story. You mentioned not wanting to get caught with your ass hanging out in your other post about this, well, that's exactly what will happen if you don't do way more research than you currently have into this issue.

Diana Hignutt · Jul 7, 2014

I recommend vastly more research. Maybe read a little in our T Party thread for starters...

Old Hack · Jul 7, 2014

It seems to me that you're asking the same question in this thread that you asked in the thread you started in Novels recently, How not to offend; and it bears several similarities to the thread you started in Ask the Agent in June last year, Are there subjects that just wont get published.

As others have already said, both here and in your other threads, you really do need to do some basic research of your own.
http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=292596

Hillsy7 · Jul 7, 2014

Well, at least I know which people from my post on the novels forum actually frequent this one: Not the ones who say it's a good idea to ask someone from QUILTBAG to check it over.....=0)

I'll just chuck this book I think - certainly until I'm mentally strong enough to take it on anyway. Suppose a quick closure statement as to why......

I couldn't write anymore because no matter what I knew about the craft of writing (and I've done more research on it, read more advice columns and watched online lectures, than I have about anything else) I couldn't assess myself. And the more I learned, the better I wrote, the worse it got. I could tell shit from gold, but I didn't have the tools to tell 9 and 24 carrat apart. Still don't. If I could somehow just stop worrying and blast out a first draft - ironically I reckon it'd be in pretty good shape and ready for revisions; nothing to worry about.

Problem is, I'll never know. At the moment it's taking all my willpower to fight that and get writing again. I was hoping that with this, I was just needlessly worrying again, that my instincts were pretty good, and what was slightly off, because it was so tightly 1st person POV, could be tweaked. Clearly that isn't the case. And I don't have the reserves left to deal with not knowing if my writing is good enough AND not knowing if somehow I'm offending someone. Research won't scrub that completely, as it hasn't with my writing in general.

Anyway - thanks for your time and comments. At least I can stop wasting time on this and see if I can find a way to get going on something else.

JulianneQJohnson · Jul 7, 2014

Honestly, it sounds to me that you simply don't like the answers you are given, so you ask again, in a new thread, in a slightly different way.

Advice of many posters boils down to: do the research, write the book, then get a beta/ get 50 posts and post in SYW/ get a Quiltbag reaction.

It's become rather obvious that this is not what you want to hear. Are you sure you aren't using this multi-thread discussion as a distraction to avoid writing altogether?

Maxinquaye · Jul 7, 2014

Well, yeah, I think that's a good call.

Basically, in order for a regular bloke to write a book like this, I would recommend that bloke to live the life for a while. Join a group, crossdress, and do so as others do it. Get advice from the group, learn how they do it. Live the life. I don’t think you could write the book without that knowledge, because it is a very distinct lifestyle.

Crossdressers start to do so early; the only one I know who does started when he was like eleven, and put on his mother’s and older sister’s clothing when they weren’t looking. Always with a sense of shame, but also always with a sense of adventure. The element of the forbidden, he tells me, was one of its allures.

IF you’re going to write this book, that’s what I would recommend you doing. Crossdress. Live the life. Do so for an extended period of time. If you don’t, then you’re just never going to understand.

I don’t know who or what you are, but as an example, it’s going to be somewhat similar to a white rich middle class person trying to write the definite African-American ghetto novel. You’re just not equipped to do so at this point; not without getting things very wrong.

BenPanced · Jul 7, 2014

Little Ming · Jul 7, 2014

Hillsy7 said:
Well, at least I know which people from my post on the novels forum actually frequent this one: Not the ones who say it's a good idea to ask someone from QUILTBAG to check it over.....=0)

I read both, as do most people answering you here.

The problem you have with asking someone to "check it over" right now, is you're so far off course it will take a significant among of time for someone else to explain everything to you. That's not fair to others. If you really care about this character you need to put in at least some effort to do the research yourself.

Hillsy7 said:
I'll just chuck this book I think - certainly until I'm mentally strong enough to take it on anyway. Suppose a quick closure statement as to why......

I couldn't write anymore because no matter what I knew about the craft of writing (and I've done more research on it, read more advice columns and watched online lectures, than I have about anything else) I couldn't assess myself. And the more I learned, the better I wrote, the worse it got. I could tell shit from gold, but I didn't have the tools to tell 9 and 24 carrat apart. Still don't. If I could somehow just stop worrying and blast out a first draft - ironically I reckon it'd be in pretty good shape and ready for revisions; nothing to worry about.

Problem is, I'll never know. At the moment it's taking all my willpower to fight that and get writing again. I was hoping that with this, I was just needlessly worrying again, that my instincts were pretty good, and what was slightly off, because it was so tightly 1st person POV, could be tweaked. Clearly that isn't the case. And I don't have the reserves left to deal with not knowing if my writing is good enough AND not knowing if somehow I'm offending someone. Research won't scrub that completely, as it hasn't with my writing in general.

Anyway - thanks for your time and comments. At least I can stop wasting time on this and see if I can find a way to get going on something else.

If you think doing the minimum research about the difference between transvestites and transgender people is a "waste of time," then I agree you should probably give up on this project.

I hope you're far more informed about the next topic you want to write about.

Maxinquaye said:
Well, yeah, I think that's a good call.

Basically, in order for a regular bloke to write a book like this, I would recommend that bloke to live the life for a while. Join a group, crossdress, and do so as others do it. Get advice from the group, learn how they do it. Live the life. I don’t think you could write the book without that knowledge, because it is a very distinct lifestyle.

Crossdressers start to do so early; the only one I know who does started when he was like eleven, and put on his mother’s and older sister’s clothing when they weren’t looking. Always with a sense of shame, but also always with a sense of adventure. The element of the forbidden, he tells me, was one of its allures.

IF you’re going to write this book, that’s what I would recommend you doing. Crossdress. Live the life. Do so for an extended period of time. If you don’t, then you’re just never going to understand.

I don’t know who or what you are, but as an example, it’s going to be somewhat similar to a white rich middle class person trying to write the definite African-American ghetto novel. You’re just not equipped to do so at this point; not without getting things very wrong.

You're... kidding right? I can't tell.

Maxinquaye · Jul 7, 2014

Little Ming said:
You're... kidding right? I can't tell.

No, not really. That's the advice I got from my friend who does cross-dress.

His exact advice was along the lines of "when I've experienced what it's like to dress as a woman during commuting hours on the underground, I as a cis-gendered gay male had NO idea of what it is like". This is not only the looks you get, what people say to you, but also how people avoid eye-contact, or stay out of the way. All the little social cues of rejection, from the blatant to the very subtle. It takes time to get cued in on it, according to my friend.

This was in response to a character I had, a much smaller character in the OP, which rang incredibly false to him. I let him read that part because I didn't want to get it wrong.

It's not for me as a cis-gendered gay man to attempt to describe the experience of these people. I have to listen to what they tell me and try to understand, and to not write false about it. So, I'm not really joking.

Little Ming · Jul 7, 2014

Maxinquaye said:
No, not really. That's the advice I got from my friend who does cross-dress.

His exact advice was along the lines of "when I've experienced what it's like to dress as a woman during commuting hours on the underground, I as a cis-gendered gay male had NO idea of what it is like". This is not only the looks you get, what people say to you, but also how people avoid eye-contact, or stay out of the way. All the little social cues of rejection, from the blatant to the very subtle. It takes time to get cued in on it, according to my friend.

This was in response to a character I had, a much smaller character in the OP, which rang incredibly false to him. I let him read that part because I didn't want to get it wrong.

It's not for me as a cis-gendered gay man to attempt to describe the experience of these people. I have to listen to what they tell me and try to understand, and to not write false about it. So, I'm not really joking.

Ah, okay. I think it's one way to go. I don't think it's the only way, or necessarily the best way for everyone. But if it works for you, great!

The caveat I would add is cross-dressers (we're not talking about transgender people now, I assume) often want to cross-dress. If someone is doing this for purely research purposes and doesn't necessarily want to, it might not have the same effect. Something to keep in mind.

Maxinquaye · Jul 7, 2014

Little Ming said:
The caveat I would add is cross-dressers (we're not talking about transgender people now, I assume) often want to cross-dress. If someone is doing this for purely research purposes and doesn't necessarily want to, it might not have the same effect. Something to keep in mind.

Yes, cross-dressing is often a statement. If you're doing like Quentin Crisp, and cross-dressing on the New York subway for decades, you're doing it to make a point. I admire him for that, but I can't say I understand him.

Hillsy7 · Jul 7, 2014

JulianneQJohnson said:
Honestly, it sounds to me that you simply don't like the answers you are given, so you ask again, in a new thread, in a slightly different way.

Advice of many posters boils down to: do the research, write the book, then get a beta/ get 50 posts and post in SYW/ get a Quiltbag reaction.

It's become rather obvious that this is not what you want to hear. Are you sure you aren't using this multi-thread discussion as a distraction to avoid writing altogether?

Ok - I hope I can pitch this response right. I know often trying to explain actions that, regardless of intention, have elicited a reaction rarely solves the problem. So I'll prefix by saying, irrespective of what I'm going to say next, I have listened, I have taken on board everyone's advice, and I am going to implement a lot of it. Just not right now - but if and when I pick this up again. I haven't articulated it properly - that's on me. I am grateful for everyone taking the time to respond, and those responses are all stored away for future use.

*Opens mouth in preparation to insert foot*

I don't want to come across as thickheaded, or willfully obtuse (perhaps this is in itself narcissism, caring about my personal image long after it matters. I don't know). This isn't directed just at Jullianne, but anyone who's been active in, or just followed my 2 posts. I just want to clarify my position - and I guess talk it out a bit so it's a bit straighter in my own head.

Firstly, the three posts. The first one (Are there subjects that just wont get published) was nothing to do with this book, other than the MC is a sort of an amalgum of the two characters in the one I'm talking about. Different genre's, situations, settings, and tones. I guess though the root cause is the same: anxiety about trying to write something no one will want to read/publish. This isn't new, and all writers I'm sure suffer it in some degree. But currently it's got a choke hold and is throttling my ability to "just write". I'll adress this further at the end.

Second (How not to offend). Jullianne is very right about something - I didn't like the answers I was given. I don't lay any blame at the feet of others, because I was trying (badly), and not succeeding in asking a very specific question. I failed - that's on me. I overanalyse, pick apart the smallest things to try and divine in them how they work. It's a major fault of mine, and also I know it's counter productive. Reading everyone's responses to that I took away two courses of action, both of which Jullianne listed above. Do the research, get feedback. At the time I intended to to both - and actually have the latter help inform the former. (NB: I know this isn't anyone else's problem - but I just want to clarify a little further. I'm naturally interactive with problems. I like to see things in action, find mistakes and fix them. I struggle to digest large blocks of research at once, which is why I thought getting feedback on what I'd done so far - and pick apart a practical example - would be beneficial).

And so third, this post. As above, it wasn't supposed to be a rehash or rewording, but a follow on from advice to get feedback. The previous post was intended to find some kind of applicable rule, some insight into how to handle comedy in general, and this topic in particular. This one was supposed to be a sort of practical workshop with someone with knowledge. Taking a few paces back - I jumped the gun. Again that's on me. Little Ming is right in here statement: "I really feel like it would be unfair for someone else to explain all these issues to you, when you can do the research yourself."

Anyways - I hope that boxes up that. I basically got lost, wandered into a few doors without checking what was behind them, and basically interrupted a lot of people going about their daily business.....So sorry about that. I'll try and apply a bit more thought before action.

A final point on the whole anxiety, "just write" thing - It's just frustration. Layer after layer of it. Butt in chair, fingers on keyboard could well be the solution - however, there's a certain irony when the solution to your current problem is to just do what you desperately want to do anyway, but feel like you can't. It's caused by frustration, and ends with it, creating a toxic cycle. I know I've got to find a way to break it - and yes I know the pervading logic is to "just write" - but again it's also my job to do it. Which is frustrating.....

So, yes. My humblest apologies. I'll go away now.....

Lillith1991 · Jul 7, 2014

Hillsy7 said:
So, yes. My humblest apologies. I'll go away now.....

No one is telling you to go away. We're just cautioning you to do the needed research before continuing on your way with this book. If doing large chunks of research are difficult for you, then I suggest spreading that research out over time.

Hillsy7 · Jul 7, 2014

Little Ming said:
If you think doing the minimum research about the difference between transvestites and transgender people is a "waste of time," then I agree you should probably give up on this project.

No, no, no dear god no. I'm going to do that reading anyway because gaining knowledge = good. Not offending people with ignorance = good. I just meant that me trying to get that into my fiction at the moment is liable to backfire, both on the writer and on me. Right now I need to be able to get something down on paper - so for my writing, I need a quick win. This project clearly isn't it.

In no way do I find my own ignorance over transfolk, or in fact almost any prejudicial situation, trivial. It is something I intend to rectify in my life, period.

....OK - I'm really shutting up now

Little Ming · Jul 7, 2014

No need for apologies or going away. We're actually very willing to help. That's why most of us hang around these forums.

Think of it this way: these forums are like a big study group. The best study groups are the ones where everyone has gone to most of the the classes and have done most of the readings. In other words, everyone has a basic understanding of the class. It makes the study sessions more productive and fun. No one knows everything and we all learn new things together.

But you don't want to be that one guy who skipped all the classes, never even bought the books, and just shows up to find out what answers everyone else got on their worksheets... right?

Sure, we could tell you the answers, but you wouldn't have learned as much, and it really isn't fair to those of us who did go to class and did the readings... right?

So go do your readings first. We'll still be here when you get back.

Hillsy7 · Jul 7, 2014

Lillith1991 said:
No one is telling you to go away.

.....GAH!!!!

I know - I didn't mean it in any snarky way. I was just conscious I was rambling and people were probably bored with my navel gazing, and I was just trying to sign off with something lighthearted and cutesy and utterly inoffensive. Really, I'm not offended by anyone on here - just largely by myself at the moment.....

MacAllister · Jul 8, 2014

No worries, Hillsy7. It can be tricky, even learning to think outside of the boxes we grew up in, let alone write outside those boxes.

JulianneQJohnson · Jul 8, 2014

Hillsy, you absolutely should not go away, and that was certainly not my intent. (I know you did not single me out, but I still feel that I must not have made myself clear.)

We all have little stories we tell ourselves when we are working on a project that has hit a bump of some kind. One of the stories I tell myself, for example, is that it's important for me to give back to this community because it has helped me so much.

Everything about that statement is true, but it's still just an excuse when I'm playing around in this forum rather than taking on the gas station scene in my current WIP. (As I am doing Right Now.)

The reason I said what I said is that I've seen this sort of avoidance before, in myself and other writers. You have to decide what to do about it, if avoidance ends up being the problem. You mention taking a break from this project, and that might be wise. Work on something else for a while, come back to this one with fresh eyes. It can really help when you are trying to see things objectively.

I learned to write in fanfic land. I did great until I wrote my first m/m naughty story. Got to the first sex scene and completely shut down. I was afraid of it. Afraid that I'd get it wrong, or offend folks. Came back to it six months later, wrote it, and didn't offend a single person. I also had acquired a beta that specialized in m/m whose self proclaimed job was "Making sure all the willies were where they should be."

Take your time. Find what you need to feel more secure about your writing. Consider looking for a beta that would identify with the character in question. When you feel more secure, you'll find a way to write the story.

A question of the taste of humour

Hillsy7

Osulagh

Independent fluffy puppy.

Deleted member 42

Little Ming

artificialsilkgirl

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido

Marian Perera

starting over

Lillith1991

The Hobbit-Vulcan hybrid

Diana Hignutt

Very Tired

Old Hack

Such a nasty woman

Hillsy7

JulianneQJohnson

Ferret Herder

Maxinquaye

That cheeky buggerer

BenPanced

THE BLUEBERRY QUEEN OF HADES (he/him)

Little Ming

Maxinquaye

That cheeky buggerer

Little Ming

Maxinquaye

That cheeky buggerer

Hillsy7

Lillith1991

The Hobbit-Vulcan hybrid

Hillsy7

Little Ming

Hillsy7

MacAllister

'Twas but a dream of thee

JulianneQJohnson

Ferret Herder