Aw, MsJudy, I feel for your son. It's so hard being a kid.
but you made me laugh out loud with the comment about only losing two kids. It brought back days of military life in Germany.
Our oldest was four, and in a handicapped preschool. She was non-verbal at that time - almost didn't speak, period.
One day my sitter showed up at my work and said my daughter did not get off the school bus. I frantically went to the school, where I was told they put her on the bus. Then I went to the sitter's, and she wasn't there. I panicked! Went back to the school, and they directed me to the military office in charge of the contract with the German bus company that transported the kids. They told me they'd figure it out, and that I should call my husband. I shouted at them that THEY would call my husband and tell him they'd lost his child. The bus driver, German, said he took her to a certain apartment (gave the address) and said she TOLD him to let her off there. Yeah, right! They took me there, and I kept saying, "I don't know anyone on this street. She'd never want to come here."
Then we passed a dumpster, and the jerk actually glanced inside of it. I almost hit him! But the lady at the door said she hadn't seen any kids. So we headed back toward his office. On the way, we drove down our street, and I saw my upstairs neighbor at her window. For some reason I told him to stop, and I yelled up at her, asking if she'd seen our daughter. She said, "Yeah, she's in here taking a nap."
The driver had stopped the bus, dumped her on the sidewalk, and driven off.
When they gave the contract to the same bus company the next year, we withdrew our daughter from the program. It was the worst day of my life at that time, but now we can sort of laugh about it.