Show and Not Tell Technique?

Add me to one that likes your example, Unimportant.

Unimportant said:

Read, read, read. See how other authors do it.

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Absolutely this. I've been studying several novels, trilogies, and even a series. I just started another well-known/popular trilogy (written in 1st person, present—the reason/purpose for my research), and I'm reading it all clinically. Some are better than others, some are riddled with mistakes, and the 'well-known/popular' one that I'm only six chapters into is rather hideous and makes me wonder how the hell it landed an agent! No matter what, though, I'm learning and absorbing...like all writers should.

justlukeyou said:

Don't be so arrogant. Isn't your book ranked 419,153 on Amazon Kindle?

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Dude. I'm so not amused.

Don't you EVER do this to anyone else. Sage is a class act and kind.

I'm neither.

Be glad that it's the holiday season, and I strongly suggest you go read the The Newbie Guide to Absolute Write.

Like now.

Um. In case you thought Sage was making fun of you, they weren't -- "Unimportant" is the name of the poster who wrote the suggestion. I know I'm not supposed to explain the joke, but...

Anyhow, knowing when to show and when to tell is something that you learn by reading. There's no exact rule. What might be too much telling in one part might be exactly the right amount in another. Like, if a minor character is really nice, I can "tell" that -- but if my character is meeting her for the first time, it'd be better to "show" it. If that makes sense.

Echoing the other comments about reading more books and working really hard on the technical side of writing. Just write, write and write some more. Be receptive to feedback (and always respect your fellow writers). At the very least, all the practice will give you awesome communication skills

In terms of techniques, I don't know how to explain it, but while beta-ing, giving crits, or revising my own work, I usually look out for the following:
- Instances of: "Bob was exhausted" or "Bob was upset". This is telling. Showing would be along the lines of: "Bob could barely move after running around all day..." or "Bob's hands clenched into fists. He gritted his teeth and chewed the inside of his lip in an effort not to cry..."
- Or "Bob was the coolest kid in school". This is telling. Telling would also be exchanges of dialogue where the doe-eyed character sighs about how awesomely cool he is (i.e. "Bob is, like, so awesome..." "I know right? How awesome is Bob?"). Showing would be showing how the other kids at school treat Bob differently because he's so awesome and cool, how he might swagger or smile a lot, or he'd always get included in every single thing that happens.

justlukeyou said:

I wish I had the time to read more but I work 6.5 days a week lol

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It's impossible to write well if you don't read a lot too.

You must read, both widely and deeply, if you want to write. There's no way around this.

Years ago when I still taught writing I talked to a group of students about this, and we worked out a reading list together--it wasn't one which would have been approved by any university, it was full of our favourite books, the books we felt we'd learned most from--and all of us, me included, did our best to read the whole list in a few months. It benefited us all. Even the books I didn't enjoy much taught me things I didn't know before, and that showed in my writing.

I've been at this writing game for a while now. Trust me. Read a lot more than you're reading now. It will help.
http://www.absolutewrite.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

I've also learned it by critiquing others work and reading the forums in Share Your Work. There's a lot of examples there.

justlukeyou said:

Thanks, one of the things I am struggling with is that my book has plenty of action scenes in it. If it was timed as a movie it would last 4 hours easily. It could well be a trilogy but I wrote all the text as if it fits into 65,000 words just to rush the ideas out of my head.

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I think I've heard typical movie scripts are 60 pages. If written in prose style, with description, as a "treatment" (in a old Hollywood sense), they would be 120 pages. So 65,000 words is about right for a four-hour movie. Most novels are at least as long. That's why scenes are usually cut when they make them into a movie.

morngnstar said:

I think I've heard typical movie scripts are 60 pages. If written in prose style, with description, as a "treatment" (in a old Hollywood sense), they would be 120 pages. So 65,000 words is about right for a four-hour movie. Most novels are at least as long. That's why scenes are usually cut when they make them into a movie.

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Movie scripts are between 90-120 pages, usually, as the general guideline is one page is about equivalent to a minute of screentime.

However, a page in a script is often nowhere close to 250 words; they're probably more like half that, on avg.

Also, not for nothing, but a treatment is a short thing, somewhere between a query and a synopsis.

Add me to the list of people who liked that first example, Unimportant. Very nice.

justlukeyou said:

Thanks, one of the things I am struggling with is that my book has plenty of action scenes in it. If it was timed as a movie it would last 4 hours easily.

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Just a general note on timelines: Actual fights are fairly quick. Three pages of a fight scene in prose might take 20 seconds in real-time action. We often forget that part—or that even three minutes of all-out fighting is silly exhausting even when you're a trained combatant*.

If you decide to flesh out these scenes, they can pack an emotional punch alongside the visceral one. Could be a great place for you to begin exploring showing versus telling, too.

Good luck!

* To preempt questions: I train in Krav Maga, Muay Thai, FMA (Kali, Arnis) and small-circle Jiu Jitsu.

Sage said:

As an added note: CA has some excellent posts about writing fight scenes on her blog

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Thanks, Sage!

Each genre has its own parameters for 'show-and-tell' and no two such measures are alike. Each editor in each genre has his/her own preference for show-and-tell balance in the book he/she's editing. I've known this for a long time but had it reinforced just 2 days ago when I received my first round of edits on my upcoming YA novel. Keep it moving, get to the point, kills your darlings (prose that is), etc, etc.

But there is a quick rule-of-thumb. Most people - readers that is - have low tolerance for great chunks of prose crowding the pages, whether these be electronic or paper. Long prose is off-putting, to the young and old alike. The editors tell me this and it's actually a reflection of what I feel at times when I stare at a densely populated page with words and words - without dialogue to break it up and catch my breath.

For that foremost reason, the writers are encouraged to 'balance' their writing craft such that you will have no more than 30-35% of any given page as exposition (dense prose) and the rest would be dialogue. It's generally good balance that makes for a tolerable read and if the prose is interesting and the dialogue is dynamic, it makes for a compelling read.

As a reader, I have an exceptionally low tolerance for pages of pretty but meaningless prose, describing details that with each turn of the phrase make it more and more unbelievable and therefore building up to the point where I will toss the book in the donation bin at the mall or return it to the shelf. I do have patience and trust that the author will lead me to the point, but it better be done quickly or he/she will not be given a second chance.

Think about this - your publisher will ask you to provide him with a 'blurb' for your book that should not exceed 150 words and perhaps not even exceed 100 words so think of balancing your written prose with that rigid stipulation in mind. Getting to the point quickly is important therefore you must learn to "prose-up" any given page in such clever manner that the reader will stay on it - and turn it to keep reading.