Favorite lines you've written

CajunWriter

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“LIAR!” screamed the flame Elf. As he raised his arms and arched his back to hurl the fireball, I sent four of the six water spikes in his direction. Every spike silently met their mark. Two spikes to the head and two to the chest. Life was instantly taken from his body. Following the momentum of the spikes, the body fell over to one side, extinguishing the fireball.
or

Instantly, the Queen threw her back against the wall and crawled up to the ceiling, where she stayed. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Her head flew back and her jaw shot open, splitting her cheeks as it ripped. Without moving her lips, out came a deep scratchy voice.
 

ohheyyrach77

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A little background here, when entering her building Eugene the doorman blows her a kiss and then gives him (MC) the stink eye.
He had been seeing this girl for awhile now but they hadn't gone on any actual 'official' dates before this, so when things get heated between them she suddenly insists that they need to wait until their third date and abruptly kicks him out mid-foreplay. Literally, she didn't even return his shirt!

He wondered, as he stood in the elevator damp, shirtless and modeling a large bulge in his pants, just how much Eugene the doorman would laugh at him on his way out.
 

jerrimander

No one takes me seriously. Really.
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"He had turned off the lights and lit a number of white pillar candles around the room, shocking her with his disregard for fire safety and reckless use of storm supplies."
 

Smeasking

Just call me "Sox" :)
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They stood silently. Stoic expressions as always; waiting for me to finish and ready to act on any orders given. Surrounded by such an obedient group of men, what girl wouldn’t be proud?
 
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Smeasking

Just call me "Sox" :)
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Eyes downcast, he stared for a moment in utter confusion. But soon realized, to his horror, that it was his own hand that lay there. Still warm, and unattached. On the cold concrete, in front of him.
 
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Smeasking

Just call me "Sox" :)
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Grrrr... How do I change the size of the text??? How come this text is bigger than what I just posted, when I couldn't even change the size after I tried to edit both of them? :(
 

BethS

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Did you copy and paste the excerpts from a word processor? That will override the default font.
 

PandaMan

Panda girls are the best!
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This is beautiful, poetic writing and more than worth of this thread. :)
Thanks Papaya. That's very kind of you to say.

BTW, I have people eating papaya in my WIP. Ya got any pandas in yours by any chance?
 

PandaMan

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All these references to the sea made me think of this scene:
That's a nice action scene but you left us hanging. What happens????? Want more please.:)

That does it, I'm going to the beach tomorrow. It feels like summer around here too.
 

PandaMan

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Interesting, PandaMan, that you criticized one of my sentences for containing seven nouns, saying that was too many for a reader to keep track of. Then you post this sample of favorite lines you've written, where the first sentence contains eight nouns, and the third contains ten. So, I guess it's not a goose and gander thing?

(Not picking a fight; just having some fun.)

Ha. Too funny.:roll: It all depends on how they fit together. :poke:

BTW, they're my wife's favorite lines, not mine. My favorites would require way too much context to explain, and that would be extremely boring.

Cheers.:Sun:
 

PandaMan

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"...came upon an adorable little old man in lederhosen named Hans. The man, not the lederhosen, which were in fact named Arnold."

And then much later in the story,

"It was an adorable little old man in lederhosen named Arnold. The lederhosen, not the man, who as you know was called Hans."
This made me smile. Love it. Thanks for sharing.
 

StephanieZie

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Eyes downcast, he stared for a moment in utter confusion. But soon realized, to his horror, that it was his own hand that lay there. Still warm, and unattached. On the cold concrete, in front of him.


Ooooh, chilling! I like this.

This was a stream-of-consciousness thing where I was practicing just writing with my inner editor switched off. It'll probably have to change for some reason or another, but I'm quite fond of it tbh:

It's a shopping channel, but he doesn't bother to change it. They're showing some ladder. Some stupid ladder that extends all the way to six feet - Wow! - and then folds neatly into the space under your cupboard - How convenient, Diane!. And he hates that fucking ladder more than is reasonable. He hates that something so big has to be able to fit in a space so tiny. He hates that there are even people out there with ladder problems. Ladders should be far down the list on anyone's list of problems.
 

Smeasking

Just call me "Sox" :)
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Thanks, Stephanie! It happens around the middle of my first chapter. Unfortunately, at the moment, I'm getting torn to shreds about my opening to that chapter by the folks of Sci-fi/Fantasy SYW "Hook Me In The First 200 Words" thread, lol. Ah well, all for the sake of improvement. Sadly, one of my beta readers actually 'predicted' that I would have to revamp the first chapter, so they must be right. He told me that once he got past that chapter, the second chapter and on was what really kept him reading. So there's hope, at least. :)
 
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StephanieZie

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Thanks, Stephanie! It happens around the middle of my first chapter. Unfortunately, at the moment, I'm getting torn to shreds about my opening to that chapter by the folks of Sci-fi/Fantasy SYW "Hook Me In The First 200 Words" thread, lol. Ah well, all for the sake of improvement. Sadly, one of my beta readers actually 'predicted' that I would have to revamp the first chapter, so they must be right. He told me that once he got past that chapter, the second chapter and on was what really kept him reading. So there's hope, at least. :)

Hang in there. I've found that it helps to be a bit of a masochist when facing crits. Learn to love the pain!

/only partly kidding
 

Smeasking

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It's all nifty. I'm little, but I'm durable. I can take a beating, lol :)
 

kkbe

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These excerpts bring me solace. :) This is from CHERRY *language*:


I try to write well. I try to write well. I try to limit superfluous details. I try to record events as accurately as possible. I pay extremely close attention to dialogue and even closer attention to . . . what’s that word? Substance. I try, no—I endeavor to write substantive prose in my personal fucking journal. How’s this: “I endeavor to capture nuance whilst limiting extraneous ramblings.” That’s fucking poetic, that’s what that is.

I think I have to puke now, seriously.
 
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rwm4768

practical experience, FTW
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Just came across this gem in an old abandoned comedic fantasy I did for NaNo a few years ago.

"I don't understand," said the wizard. "Have you taken a potion of forgetfulness?"

"Would I know if I had?"