Yesterday is all he has left.
Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday.
I slept with the woman anyway.
The great outdoors wasn't so great.
She was something special. I wasn't.
*Now* I always wear clean underwear.
Depends. Anything on Television? ... well, okay.
Good children don't eat their sisters.
Unobserved, the dog dug something up.
"Wins the Internet!" Wins the Internet!
These are fun, but too much?
====
Nobody actually died of boredom before.
I flew faster than light tomorrow.
Before I die, listen to ... *arrrgggghhhh*
Call me Ishmael. Whale hunting sucks.
It was the worst of times.
I couldn't eat fifty eggs. Damn!
"A seatbelt will wrinkle my clothes."
Anesthetics set in. "Oops," says doctor.
Genetic testing. Dolphins develop thumbs. Shit!
Genetic testing. Apes rule us now.
London, dead. Paris, burning. Tennis, anyone?
Blood stains. Seltzer or baking soda?
The image in the mirror blinked.
I remain young. My portrait ages.
Don't fear me. I smell fear.
Tragically, he discovered babies can't surf.