Am I shoe horning in Fantasy because I like it?

acockey said:

I am writing a novel about a 15 yr old assassin who uses a sword to make her kills and deals with high school and a struggle to be normal?

Anyways the explanation of why she is the best assassin in New York is that she has magic guiding her blade.

But it feels like if I try to add a Magic subplot it is going to slog down my book, in where her agency is the main protagonist. Your opinions are appreciated. Missed this board

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In order for a 15 yr old to be an assassin, SOME kind of explanation will need to be given. If it's not magic, then it would be something like her parents training her since birth.

A magic subplot would work as well as anything else.

I don't see why that shouldn't work. If fantasy is what you like, go for it. I agree that you need some explanation for why she's so good. Magic works for that.

Take out the magic and you have Hit Girl.

The trick is to find something original as an origin/motivation twist. In most instances, a story about a 15-year old assassin will be squarely centered on the origin story. Magic may be a route for it, but what do you mean by "magic"? Is it a curse? A blessing? Is she gifted by God, or the devil? Is there a magical war being fought just below the surface of the world? --some answers are more played out and cliche than others (especially the "Secret magical/alien war" idea.. harry potter.. men in black.. etc.). Out of those I think being guided by some combination of God or the Devil sounds the most interesting to me. but, yeah.

So, really, the question is what is her origin story and why is it interesting? (whether you decide to use some kind of 'magic' as a source or not).

Making magic the explanation for why she's a 15-year-old assassin doesn't have to bog down your book in backstory and explanations. If you don't want to make a whole subplot about the magic, just make it be a part of her, not something she needs to explore right now.

acockey said:

I am writing a novel about a 15 yr old assassin who uses a sword to make her kills and deals with high school and a struggle to be normal?

Anyways the explanation of why she is the best assassin in New York is that she has magic guiding her blade.

But it feels like if I try to add a Magic subplot it is going to slog down my book, in where her agency is the main protagonist. Your opinions are appreciated. Missed this board

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I have serious problems with a fifteen year old girl being the best assassin in New York, especially if she uses something like a sword. How is she going to conceal it, and what's to stop someone from popping a cap in her rear end? The only way a sword matches a bullet is if serious magic is involved.

I question her skills, anyway. What makes a fifteen year old girl a wonderful assassin is her beauty and her sex appeal, both of which allow her to get close to people, men in particular, and to dispatch them with poison, by cutting their throats while they sleep next to her, or by using a small, easily concealable handgun with a suppressor.

I might buy her using a sword in a story set back when everyone used them, though I'd still be highly skeptical. But set today, she'd better have a magic sword, and a magic bulletproof shield of some kind.

I like the idea of a fifteen year old girl as a top assassin, if she were trained as such from birth, and if she uses weapons that match today's world, and who and what she is, but not a sword.

Jamesaritchie said:

I have serious problems with a fifteen year old girl being the best assassin in New York, especially if she uses something like a sword. How is she going to conceal it

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I guess if there's magic which makes her the best assassin, there's magic which allows her to pull the sword out from subspace or something.

How did they manage in Highlander?

Jamesaritchie said:

I question her skills, anyway. What makes a fifteen year old girl a wonderful assassin is her beauty and her sex appeal, both of which allow her to get close to people, men in particular, and to dispatch them with poison, by cutting their throats while they sleep next to her, or by using a small, easily concealable handgun with a suppressor.

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What on earth did I just read

Is a sword really the best weapon for an assassin to have? They're kind of big and noticeable. A knife is much easier to conceal and draw quickly if you have a bladed weapon. I mean if it's a magic sword that comes out of hammerspace and thirsts for blood then sure, I guess she could use it to assassinate people, but... yeah. Big and noticeable.

Queen of Swords said:

How did they manage in Highlander?

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Well, Connor hides his in the underground garage and goes back for it later.

Kolta said:

What on earth did I just read

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Maybe if we pretend not to notice it, it'll go away.

Queen of Swords said:

I guess if there's magic which makes her the best assassin, there's magic which allows her to pull the sword out from subspace or something.

How did they manage in Highlander?

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He usually hid it on him, but he's a big man, not a fifteen year old girl.

Kolta said:

What on earth did I just read

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Part of my life story.

I think Anita Blake managed to hide a small sword on her back? She's not a large woman, so maybe a 15 year old could do it if you looked up how Anita Blake was supposed to have done it.

acockey said:

But it feels like if I try to add a Magic subplot it is going to slog down my book, in where her agency is the main protagonist.

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Before you "explain" how this teener is such a proficient assassin, yoou need to explain what the hell this sentence means.

caw

Hapax Legomenon said:

I think Anita Blake managed to hide a small sword on her back? She's not a large woman, so maybe a 15 year old could do it if you looked up how Anita Blake was supposed to have done it.

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I believe it was in a spine sheath hidden under her longer hair...but it was a shorter sword.

Also, are we talking broadsword, or more of a thin blade, lightweight blade? And it is normal in your world for folks to go around carrying blades? If not and it's modern day NYC, then you definitely want to think about that magic angle of folks not seeing her sword...or maybe not seeing her? I'm curious as to how the magic 'guides' her sword.

To the OP: If you haven't yet read the Julie Kenner Demon Hunting Soccer Mom series, you should. It origionally was billed as "What if Buffy the Vampire Hunter grew up, had a family and never told them she used to be Buffy?" When the demons come knocking again, she has to balance hiding the demons from her family, and her family from the demons. It was a great series, with equal parts pulse-pounding action and laugh out loud humor. Very cool!

Jamesaritchie said:

I question her skills, anyway. What makes a fifteen year old girl a wonderful assassin is her beauty and her sex appeal, both of which allow her to get close to people, men in particular, and to dispatch them with poison, by cutting their throats while they sleep next to her, or by using a small, easily concealable handgun with a suppressor.

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Kolta said:

What on earth did I just read?

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What you just read, Kolta, was an excellent grasp of a potential major plot hole in the book. It's exactly what an editor would ask about the believability of an assassin that young that is considered a "top" anything. Age brings experience, and assassins that live for any length of time are more likely to be considered a top killer. A 15-year-old is most likely to be considered a fluke. So where does the reputation come from? Quantity? Stealth? Angelic look? Is it the sword itself? If it's only the sword, can anyone use it, or is it like Thor's hammer? Does she harbor the spirit of an ancient killer? I could go on and on, but am only highlighting what is a really excellent question by someone with editing background.

Anyway, to get back to the original question. Would it really matter if you were shoe-horning Fantasy in just because you like it? I can't see it being automatically detrimental to the story, tbh.

My sword is hidden on top of my wardrobe. I can't take it out in public without a reasonable excuse*. Bah.


*English legal system unlikely to see 'cos I love my sword' as reasonable.

Jamesaritchie said:

I question her skills, anyway. What makes a fifteen year old girl a wonderful assassin is her beauty and her sex appeal, both of which allow her to get close to people, men in particular, and to dispatch them with poison, by cutting their throats while they sleep next to her, or by using a small, easily concealable handgun with a suppressor.

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Kolta said:

What on earth did I just read

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Cathy C said:

What you just read, Kolta, was an excellent grasp of a potential major plot hole in the book.

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No, I'm with Kolta here. What on earth? Why are we assuming that this child protagonist must have "sex appeal"? Appeal to who - men who prey on underage girls? Why is having sex with her victims her only feasible strategy? Is it impossible even in a fantasy about teenage girl assassins to give her value and success that doesn't revolve around being sexually exploited by men?

Hey, you know what else is unrealistic? Superheroes! It makes no sense that Batman is able to dispatch dozens of mooks at a time. It's obvious that his only real skill is his sexual attractiveness, so let's make him a male prostitute who kills his victims when they're asleep in bed next to him after he's sexually serviced them.

Cathy C said:

It's exactly what an editor would ask

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Well, I think it's exactly what a pervy narrow-minded unimaginative editor might ask, yes.

THAT question--of WHY a fifteen-year-old girl is the best assassin in NY--is in fact a good question, and is one that the OP brought up, because the OP is wondering if the reason "should" be fantastical or not. To answer the question "should I make the reason fantastical" with "no, the ONLY option is to make her use sex as a weapon" is...

It's not excellent. It's small-minded and dismissive and obnoxious and gross.

And it's boring.

OP, if you want the reason to be fantastical, then go ahead and do it. I don't know why it would "slog down" the book.

Does Harry Potter rely on his beauty and sex appeal to defeat Voldemort then? I never read that far.

Buffysquirrel said:

Does Harry Potter rely on his beauty and sex appeal to defeat Voldemort then? I never read that far.

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Nope. He used bravery, friendship, cunning, and love to get rid of that massive hypocrit.

I find it sexist that people assume that because the character in the OP's story is a girl, she has to use sex appeal to defeat the big bad. Why should she?

Jamesaritchie said:

I have serious problems with a fifteen year old girl being the best assassin in New York, especially if she uses something like a sword. How is she going to conceal it, and what's to stop someone from popping a cap in her rear end? The only way a sword matches a bullet is if serious magic is involved.

I question her skills, anyway.
I think that's a perfectly valid question.

What makes a fifteen year old girl a wonderful assassin is her beauty and her sex appeal, both of which allow her to get close to people, men in particular, and to dispatch them with poison, by cutting their throats while they sleep next to her, or by using a small, easily concealable handgun with a suppressor.

Right, so whilst this is one possible thing that could potentially make a female a great assassin I think the fact that you wrote is as a statement sounding as though it's the only way that has raised eyebrows.

In addition, I'd say that this is a very mature, serious, dark and tragic story line involving pedophilia and an abused 15 year old girl. Not that there's anything wrong with that if that's where the OP wants to take it.

In summary, I think it was the suggestion that this is the only way a 15 year old girl could be a great assassin and I'm sure you will agree - it's not.



I might buy her using a sword in a story set back when everyone used them, though I'd still be highly skeptical. But set today, she'd better have a magic sword, and a magic bulletproof shield of some kind.

I like the idea of a fifteen year old girl as a top assassin, if she were trained as such from birth, and if she uses weapons that match today's world, and who and what she is, but not a sword.

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If Highlander can have a sword, she can have a sword.