Is this (f**king) "normal"?!

"Normal is a dryer setting", as I've been told.

More than once, I've talked to my non-writer friends about my writing, and they seem to think it's strange. Among my writer friends, however, having my characters yatter away in my head is an accepted, everyday thing.

I just embrace what I am and what I do, regardless of what someone else may think about it. If everyone was 'normal', no one would be different, and how boring would that be?

Being a writer does not make you a special and unique snowflake whose mind is just so abnormal and quirky and unusual. Your desire to be "abnormal" and "make your mark" and matter and not be forgotten, etc., is no different from anyone else's. Writing is a hobby, a profession, maybe even an obsession, but it is not a destiny assigned at birth , a mental condition, or a spiritual calling bestowed from On High. It's just something you do.

kkbe said:

That last response of mine has been bugging me. It was too maudlin. Or melancholy. I don't know, sometimes I respond to postings when I shouldn't. Surely I'm not the only one. Do others find themselves unhappy sometimes when they start to write? Do they want to take it back like I do? Do they hit delete?

Writing is different things to different people because we're all different. Writing fulfills some want, some need--even if only the need to express oneself for one's own benefit. Doesn't matter why. The point is, how do we feel about our writing? Which was the gist of my original posting, which I wrote after reading yet another thread asking if it was normal to do/write/think/attempt/question--all relative to this thing we're doing here, or trying to do. . .

Surely writing is an extension of who we are, replete with fear and uncertainty, and sometimes, embarrassment and regret. It's also an expression and reflection of our creative selves. I'm thankful to have found an outlet for that. I need that, but why should that interest anybody else? Sometimes you just need to say what's on your mind, write it down, put it out there, see if anybody feels the same way. The truth is, we're not so different from anybody else. For some reason, right now, I find that kind of comforting.

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Amen.

I tried putting my writing on hold so I could build a career on myself, but my need to do it is worse than ever. I need to write.

And yeah, I also respond to postings when I shouldn't. ;-)

You are not alone, kkbe.

kkbe said:

Surely writing is an extension of who we are, replete with fear and uncertainty, and sometimes, embarrassment and regret. It's also an expression and reflection of our creative selves. I'm thankful to have found an outlet for that. I need that, but why should that interest anybody else? Sometimes you just need to say what's on your mind, write it down, put it out there, see if anybody feels the same way. The truth is, we're not so different from anybody else. For some reason, right now, I find that kind of comforting.

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You're not at all different from anybody else.

That's my point.

Writing isn't some special unique expression of your innermost self. Or maybe it is, but for other people it's just a hobby. And for other people, cooking or gardening or MMA fighting is their special unique expression of their innermost selves.

Writers ain't some special breed apart, and writing is no more noble or sacred or elevating than any other activity people invest themselves in.

Time you spend examining the wondrous hidden folds of your writerly self and asking other people if they feel precious/special/f**king "normal" too is time that might be better spent examining your writing, ya know?

Amadan said:

You're not at all different from anybody else.

That's my point.

Writing isn't some special unique expression of your innermost self. Or maybe it is, but for other people it's just a hobby. And for other people, cooking or gardening or MMA fighting is their special unique expression of their innermost selves.

Writers ain't some special breed apart, and writing is no more noble or sacred or elevating than any other activity people invest themselves in.

Time you spend examining the wondrous hidden folds of your writerly self and asking other people if they feel precious/special/f**king "normal" too is time that might be better spent examining your writing, ya know?

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Whoa. I agree with kkbe. A bit on the harsh side there, Amadan. And completely uncalled for. There is no reason to put anyone else down for what they believe/feel, etc.. If you don't agree with what KK is saying, that's fine. You don't have to. But that doesn't mean you need to disrespect her. Some people feel very strongly about their writing--me being one of them. Do I feel like I was destined to be a writer? No. Do I feel like being a writer makes me special? No. But that doesn't make my need to express myself by doing it any less important to me.

If writing is just a hobby to you and you feel the need to criticize others who treat it as more than a hobby, then maybe you don't belong on this forum. There are plenty of people here who treat writing as a hobby, and that's fine, but they don't go around criticizing others for taking it more seriously.

Or maybe you just get your rocks off on putting other people down, in which case let me remind you: we aren't in high school anymore. It's time to grow up.

(Actually, I'm sure some people are in high school on here... I guess I wouldn't know since they come across as much more mature than our friend Amadan here.)

mrsvalkyrie said:

Some people feel very strongly about their writing--me being one of them.

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I feel strongly about my writing too.

If writing is just a hobby to you and you feel the need to criticize others who treat it as more than a hobby, then maybe you don't belong on this forum. There are plenty of people here who treat writing as a hobby, and that's fine, but they don't go around criticizing others for taking it more seriously.

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Boy you're reading a lot of things I didn't say.

(Actually, I'm sure some people are in high school on here... I guess I wouldn't know since they come across as much more mature than our friend Amadan here.)

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Interestingly, I didn't insult or disrespect kkbe at all. I did question the value of excessive introspection (really, we see "Is this normal?"-type threads all the time) and the apparent belief that there is something unique and special about writing.

You, on the other hand, went straight for personal insults. Good show.

Amadan said:

Interestingly, I didn't insult or disrespect kkbe at all. I did question the value of excessive introspection (really, we see "Is this normal?"-type threads all the time) and the apparent belief that there is something unique and special about writing.

You, on the other hand, went straight for personal insults. Good show.

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Yes, you did.

I wouldn't call them personal insults. But hey, that's your interpretation. They are actually more like 'possible observations.' Again, I said "maybe.... (etc.)" I never said you enjoyed people putting down (because I am assuming that is the sentence you are referring to as a 'personal insult.')

A lot of things can be misconstrued on the internet, so perhaps if something came across in a way you didn't mean or you think it's been misinterpreted, then you should explain what you did mean. But, if everything you said is the way you meant it, then yes, it was disrespectful. You want to disagree? That's your right.

I have my opinions. You have yours. Don't go getting angry at me for disagreeing. I'm not angry at you for your comments. I'm expressing an opinion--that I believe the way you said what you said was disrespectful and that it was uncalled for. Am I going to be angry if you continue to hang around this forum? No. Why not? Because that's your right. Do I think you belong here if you criticize others? No, if that is in fact what you were doing. Am I going to stop you from being here? (Well, I don't even know how I could do that even if I wanted to...) Am I going to stalk you around other threads and belittle you? Certainly not.

Enjoy your day, Amadan. (And no, that wasn't sarcasm, just for the record.)

mrsvalkyrie said:

I have my opinions. You have yours. Don't go getting angry at me for disagreeing.

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I'm not angry. I'm informing you you're wrong.

kkbe said:

mrs. Valkarie, thank you very much.

Amadan, you refer to my posts as 'excessive intropection,' but you mean no disrespect? Are you honestly telling me that this is not an insult? Do you think I'm an idiot, Amadan?

Don't answer that.

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Compared to other things he's said, it's really quite nice.

And, well, I can't say I completely disagree with his point, despite his bluntness.

It's a simple point. Some writers feel like they have a calling from some god to write. Others just feel compelled. And some just write. That feeling is no more special than someone who just writes for a hobby. There are similar gardening boards and kung fu boards with practitioners of those arts all asking similar questions about whether or not they're "normal."

And some people seek more self-validation than others when they're talented writers who really should just well... write, you know? Or go garden. Or practice another form. I think you're a very good writer kkbe.

For some people, yes, it might be a true expression of their inner selves and the ultimate goddess of writer-ly light. And for others, no, it's just something they do for fun. But it's really no more an expression than anything else.

I'm sure if one of you started talking to me about photography or graphic design you'd start feeling like your non-writer friends who just don't get it. I'm sure, with time, you could. If it interested you. But it's no high calling and god certainly isn't whispering into my ear. It's just as special as writing. Meaning, not very. Everyone, at some point, will probably fancy themselves a writer. Whether or not they tell you, well that's another story. I know some who're embarrassed to admit it.

Excessively wondering if you'll ever be good enough, or constantly doubting yourself is normal for everyone—even non-writers and Stephen King types. But if all you ever do is worry and doubt, you'll never get anywhere. So, yes, it's normal.

I didn't know being excessively introspective was a bad thing, though. That is me, right on the mark.

kkbe said:

That last response of mine has been bugging me. It was too maudlin. Or melancholy. I don't know, sometimes I respond to postings when I shouldn't. Surely I'm not the only one. Do others find themselves unhappy sometimes when they start to write? Do they want to take it back like I do? Do they hit delete?

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Yes, kkbe, all that is normal too.

Amadan said:

Writing isn't some special unique expression of your innermost self. Or maybe it is, but for other people it's just a hobby. And for other people, cooking or gardening or MMA fighting is their special unique expression of their innermost selves.

Writers ain't some special breed apart, and writing is no more noble or sacred or elevating than any other activity people invest themselves in.

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I agree with this stuff. I wouldn't have rounded off with the statement that came after this, but I do agree with these points.

Different people do different things. Martial arts or sports or painting or just talking with friends--all that is expression, too, an extension of themselves. It's stuff we do to make what's inside ourselves interact with what's outside of ourselves. Writing is one of those things. It doesn't make writers crazy or abnormal or different, any more than dressing in a gi and throwing someone to the mat, or painting a firefly with the horsemen of the apocalypse exploding out its ass, or fixing up an old car, or going online and chatting on a forum, or flying to a foreign country in order to scrub otter poop out of a pool does.

It's one of the many things that is done to ease the burden of life, or to enhance its awesomeness, depending on your point of view. And you can view it in a number of different ways, and that's fine too. For some people, martial arts might just be a hobby; for others, it can be a way to unite the body and soul and bring the consciousness to a higher plane of existence. It's all normal, and there's nothing wrong with that.

buzhidao said:

or painting a firefly with the horsemen of the apocalypse exploding out its ass

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If this is a real painting, you've got to post a link.

I have definitely had the urge to assign some sort of holiness to my relationship to writing, but it's difficult to take myself so seriously on the occasions that I, too, come up with a verbal equivalent to "painting a firefly with the four horsement of the apocalypse coming out of its ass."

Maybe it's more like a marriage that cannot be dissolved.....

thebloodfiend said:

If this is a real painting, you've got to post a link.

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Yeah, because I was thinking that's either a huge firefly or a really minute apocalypse...

kkbe said:

I recently responded to a post asking if x was normal. I commented how we writers tend to wonder if what we're doing, or not doing, or thinking/not thinking about or worrying/not worrying about, is normal behavior. For a writer, I mean.

Then I thought, I'm a writer, so am I normal? Let me see:

1) I sit at my computer, chewing my cheeks incessantly whilst staring at the blank screen.

2) Amazing stuff flows out of me like a shit through a goose. It's a gift from God--His mind, to my hand, to keyboard, to screen. . .

It's a religious experience. Has to be.



2) I love my writing.

3) I hate my writing. And hence, myself. And hence, everybody else.

4) But I care what they think.

5) Except when I don't give a crap what they think.

6) But I want to influence what they think in a deeply meaningful way.

7) I am incredibly creative.

8) I have no creativity. I can't think of any ideas. At all. My mind is a vast and barren wasteland.

9) I am a really good writer.

10) I suck.

So, what's the verdict? Normal, or ?

Questions? Comments? Concerns?

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em I dont want to be a Captain Bringdown, but to me you sound nuts.

Oops. Didnt notice that you're already in a scrap!

lol.

I'm joking, of course. every writer goes through the love/hate, brilliant/ terrible thingy at different times. even me.

thebloodfiend said:

If this is a real painting, you've got to post a link.

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...I suppose I could pull out the paint set.

Bah. It never matches the image in my head.

kkbe said:

Amadan, you referred to my posts as 'excessive introspection,' but you meant no disrespect?

You wrote: Are you honestly telling me that was not an insult? Do you think I'm an idiot, Amadan?

Don't answer that.

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You really shouldn't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to, since you don't get to control how or whether people respond, but in fact, no, I do not think you're an idiot.

thebloodfiend said:

Compared to other things he's said, it's really quite nice.

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Oh, pshaw. And John Scalzi is mean for saying that teenagers don't write well.

Amadan said:

Being a writer does not make you a special and unique snowflake whose mind is just so abnormal and quirky and unusual. Your desire to be "abnormal" and "make your mark" and matter and not be forgotten, etc., is no different from anyone else's. Writing is a hobby, a profession, maybe even an obsession, but it is not a destiny assigned at birth , a mental condition, or a spiritual calling bestowed from On High. It's just something you do.

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QFT. I personally prescribe to this point of view. I feel like the opposing viewpoint can come off as egotistical or narcissistic at times. And while not everyone who feels that way are those things, it's definitely not a productive way for me to look at things as a writer and an artist.

Without assigning relative merit to either position, I can say that in my case too much navel-gazing did not help my writing output or quality.