Thanks everyone, for the warm welcome and the advice! I've been toying with this question for awhile and I'm so glad that I've found a place to ask about it and connect with other writers.
You can publish under any name you choose. The problem though with a memoir is that readers will connect to the name as the person the memoir is about. They may feel cheated, emotionally, when they find out the authors real name, and it will come out...
Thank you, thothguard, for your response. You have highlighted some concerns I have. In terms of readers feeling betrayed, as a memoir reader myself, I think I would only feel betrayed by an author if that author deliberately toyed with the truth- such as the well known example of James Frey. I think I would very much understand an author's wish for a measure of privacy. In my case, I cannot publish my real name without my husband and children also being very much exposed. If it is extremely likely that my real name will be found out, then I do not even want to write it.
Welcome to AW! Make sure you swing by the Newbie forum and read all the stickies.
What thothguard51 said.
Query agents and publishers with your real name, then tell them that you wish to publish under a pseudonym so you can keep your affairs private.
If you wish to write it, write it. You're mostly worrying over the marketing aspect of the memoir. No one will ever read the book if you never give it to them; you can still write it. So, get to writing.
Thanks for the welcome, Will! I have looked over some of the newbie material and I'm looking forward to persusing this site. I have actually written most of it....but not as a memoir and not as a publishable work. However, I would rather quash the nagging need to write and edit and publish this work if my family would be exposed. I do not plan to even tell my parents or anyone other than my husband that I am contemplating writing and publishing a memoir. That is how private I wish to remain. But if, as thothguard says, the truth always comes out, then perhaps it is not an avenue I wish to pursue.
Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)
Write the memoir the way you want it. Changing names and some identifying details is standard practice with memoirs...whatever you may hear otherwise. Put a little note to that effect before Chapter 1.
My legal name is not Siri Kirpal Kaur Khalsa, but that's the name on all my books. I've registered it as a legal DBA (business name). I put both names on my query.
Blessings,
Siri Kirpal
Hello, Siri Kirpal. I've noticed you post a lot responses on this site and I just want to tell you that I'm truly touched by how you take the time to help newbie writers out. Bless you!
If I do decide to go ahead and tackle this memoir, then I would definitely disclose the fact that I have changed my name and everyone else's, along with identifying details. I believe I can do this without hurting the integrity of the story and without having to resort to making it fictional. As I said in my OP, the work would lose all it's punch if I fictionalized it.
So I have a question for y'all, then. Why is it so unlikely for an author to remain anonymous? Is it only blockbuster authors that get found out? How much should an aspiring author listen to that little voice inside themselves telling them they must write.....and how much should they respect the privacy of their loved ones who would have intimate moments exposed in stark black ink? Isn't it selfish to even ponder it?
