- Joined
- Feb 15, 2015
- Messages
- 549
- Reaction score
- 71
Nothing wrong with the sentences, per se. It's clear where we are and what's going on. It just doesn't feel right to me. First, there's a blocking problem: if the rail is protecting his face from the screaming wind, then he just vomited straight into it. But mainly, I'm wondering why he's running around on a slick deck, determined to vomit neatly (despite the raging storm) into the sea, when he could be curled up around a bucket below decks.
I have the same objection.
Or, if there are no buckets below deck, why wouldn't he just hurl anywhere on deck? Presumably it'll be scrubbed clean by the wind and water within moments.