Blaster Books

Taran · Jul 29, 2014

http://blasterbooks.blogspot.ca/

Submission

We are look for science friction in all sup-genre. We are not look for Paranormal romance and horror, fantasy. I like David Weber and John Ringo. My favorite sup-genre of science friction is military Science Friction and space opera. I love good science friction romance too.

I'm looking for novelette and novella, short stories. We you send a short stories it need body of e-mail. The novelettes and novella send it as a RTF and doc word document in the body of e-mail word count and a bio, synopsis. The manuscript times new Roman 12 and if you have have Chapters it should be in times new roman 14 and the first Paige should have only title and your name

We will pay for a short stories $50. We will pay for a novelette between $60 to $100 and a 40 % royalty. We will pay for a novella between $100 to $900 and a 45 % royalty.

My reaction:

I don't care what you're paying with copy like that. Jesus.

AngelsAvengeMe · Jul 29, 2014

My goodness! O-o Science Friction and sup-genre???? And it's not even just once they wrote it. Holy cow. idek what to say to this. I just hope no one's stupid enough to use them!

Helix · Jul 29, 2014

Dearie me. He spammed Writer Beware.

Osulagh · Jul 29, 2014

Wow. This has to be one of the worse "publishers" I've seen on this board.

Marian Perera · Jul 29, 2014

I couldn't believe this was for real.

we are look for military Science Fiction and space opera Science Fiction romance only. Please send my query forced to <email redacted>.

I have no ISBN right now and Can give you advance. I will pay Cover art for a editor and Someone to format your e-book.

Then I found this thread, plus another where the founder of Blaster Books kept asking for Arthur, which people eventually interpreted as a call for authors.

Bicyclefish · Jul 29, 2014

Actually, I might like some good "science friction romance". Sounds kind of sexy.

This quote from this thread on sffworld might top it though:

I have decided not publish any thing right now. I need work on My grandma and spelling.

aliceshortcake · Jul 29, 2014

Blaster books is an independent and conservative e-publisher specializing in Science Fiction. My favorite authors are David Weber and John Ringo.

'Nuff said.

Methinks our legs are being pulled.

Forbidden Snowflake · Jul 30, 2014

Uhm?!

Filigree · Jul 30, 2014

God, please let this be a troll, pleasepleaseplease. Because if this imbecile is for real, I will be sad. But not all that surprised.

eternalised · Jul 30, 2014

If it's real, I kind of feel sad for him. His grammar is horrible...

Undercover · Jul 30, 2014

eternalised said:
If it's real, I kind of feel sad for him. His grammar is horrible...

OMG, is it! It's sad really.

Filigree · Jul 30, 2014

I can't know the inner workings of another meatpuppet's mind, but it seems that he doesn't have any idea how to look for his mistakes, much Iess how to fix them. His wife doesn't need to proofread his work. He needs to take some English classes.

I'm still living in the frail hope this is just a magnificent troll.

summontherats · Jul 30, 2014

Those don't look like English-as-a-second-language errors. Someone learning English wouldn't mix up "Arthur" and "author" and "grandma" and "grammar." That sounds like a native speaker who's struggling with bad voice-to-text software or a disability. Or maybe someone who's really young.

I mean, obviously no one should submit to him. But it doesn't read like a malicious troll to me. On his site, the first posts are all "Yay, I have a website! I can be a publisher!" He's politely (and obliviously) bumbling around, looking for submissions and advice on what he should pay. It looks like someone did a little reading on small presses, thought they were cool, and decided to play publisher.

Kay · Jul 30, 2014

Of course no one should submit to this guy, but my god, I could read his "grandma" mistakes forever! Tell me you didn't smile after reading the OP's quote from his website. I actually laughed out loud.

If he put out a whole book with the level of spelling and grandma he's shown, I might buy it. (Assuming it's only a dollar. I'm very cheap.) Every time I was feeling down, I'd pick that sucker up and laugh my way to a good mood.

Sixpence · Jul 30, 2014

My favorite sup genres include coffee, whisky and dirty martinis.
I are not look for this kind of publishment though.

Once I stopped giggling my only response to his pitches was, "Aw, bless". Harmless (apart from spam annoyances) and inadvertently entertaining.

Gravity · Jul 30, 2014

I think science friction occurs when a physicist and his wife run out of K-Y Jelly.

Maggie Maxwell · Jul 30, 2014

Gravity said:
I think science friction occurs when a physicist and his wife run out of K-Y Jelly.

Followed by science chafing.

Samsonet · Jul 30, 2014

Imagine how is touch the contract

PVish · Jul 30, 2014

Samsonet said:
Imagine how is touch the contract

Unfortunately, he didn't copy and paste the rest of the example contract which lists a lot of things that the publisher must do, such as

Publisher will be responsible, at its own expense, to prepare the Work for release for all formats outlined in Section I. This would include all conversions from the manuscript into various digital formats (e.g. HTML, PDF, Palm, Rocket Editions), print formats (layouts for POD or Traditional Print), or hiring actors/readers, technicians and studio time for preparation of any audiobook format. Publisher will make the Work available in all its regularly marketed electronic/digital formats.

Yanno—publishing stuff.

Gravity · Jul 30, 2014

The whole site is a hot mess; Chinese firework instructions are more clear (with report!)

ShyWriter · Jul 30, 2014

Blaster Books has a book out by the owner - AlClad lV Hospitality

It's priced at $1.99, but I have no idea the length or what it's about (the description is the same as the small preview).

PVish · Jul 30, 2014

Looks like he posted it (or part of it) online in 2002 and wanted it removed in 2003. It's on Kobo, though.

Dennis E. Taylor · Jul 30, 2014

Filigree said:
God, please let this be a troll, pleasepleaseplease. Because if this imbecile is for real, I will be sad. But not all that surprised.

sadly, not. He's been on sffworld.com for a while, trying to drum up business. Finally gave up about a week or two ago. I guess he just migrated.

He did say in one post that he was dyslexic. People tried to explain to him about his spelling, diction, and grammar, but he just couldn't get it.

Gravity · Jul 30, 2014

I'm dyslexic (brain injury when I was nine; I can only type with my forefingers and thumbs, and spell-check is my friend). The first step to dealing with the problem is to acknowledge it.

Sandsurfgirl · Jul 30, 2014

I'm not sure if I want to laugh or cry. It's hilarious but sad at the same time. It's like when you watch those awful American Idol auditions and they sound like a screeching cat but they think they are awesome singers.

I wish I wasn't too tired to say something witty about science friction. LOL

Blaster Books

socially distancing

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starting over

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I'm quite put out.

Mildly Disturbing

practical experience, FTW

I got it covered

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I wish I was as cool as this cat.

Seen 'em come, seen 'em go

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Just visiting

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Cat hair collector

Get it off! It burns!

Seen 'em come, seen 'em go