The Old Neverending PublishAmerica Thread (Publish America)

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Uncarved

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we should all apply for jobs at PA.
Seriously.
I couldn't even imagine the reaction if the majority here applied stating that as writers, editors, etc... we are duly qualified.
 

Sheryl Nantus

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tinasamuels said:
we should all apply for jobs at PA.
Seriously.
I couldn't even imagine the reaction if the majority here applied stating that as writers, editors, etc... we are duly qualified.

I could NOT lobotomize myself that much.

if that even makes sense.

:tongue
 

T42

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Sher2 said:
See, this is the perfect work ethic, which makes us eminently qualified to run the New PA -- see nothing, hear nothing, do nothing. Except, Bard, my mind is in the gutter -- I'm looking forward to interviewing the cabana boys and ... Oh, never mind. Mem's going to call me a pervert again, I just know it.
:whip: PERVERT!:horse:
 

Ed Williams

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Le Official Count of New Titles For PA...

....this week is:

84 (purple in your honor, Kev)

The information brought to you by the Director of Misinformation for the New PA....

P.S. Aconite, razzirazz, and anyone else I may have missed, welcome...
 

Kevin Yarbrough

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Kelly, cut and peice another email back to them.

>>I also have the belief that my book was never read before
>>being accepted. If you declare your company a traditional
>>publisher, then every book submitted should be read before
>>being published.

**As above, your "beliefs" are simply, plainly, false.

(Then add comment by Clopper/Meiners here that PA doesn't read all of the manuscript before accepting.)

>>I believed from your web site and the material sent to me
>>that you would place my book in brick and mortar stores

**No, you could not have "believed" such a thing. No publisher guarantees
book sales to bookstores.

(Are you qualified now to tell authors what they can and can't believe? Your website said "books will be in all brick and mortar bookstores". "All" being the keyword. And yes, you may not be able to get my book into "all" bookstores, but some would would have been nice.

>>No press releases were sent out by you regarding my book as was stated.

**Yes, they were.

(Where are they? Show me if they were.)

>>To have my book in brick and mortar stores "from sea to shining sea"
>>would require bookstores to actually accept PA books on a chainwide basis.

**No, it would not. Please see our testimonials.

(So you are saying that, according to your testimonials, that books are available from sea to shining sea? From what I read on said testimonials is that you have authors in all 50 states that have been able to get their book into their local bookstores. Name one PA book that is available from sea to shining sea.)

**If you have any reasons that are not factually untrue, for your request,
please forward them to us and we will consider them at our next review meeting.

(You forgot to add "to be held at our leisure")

(But if you want to keep a book that I have no intentions on promoting, so be it. If you want to keep a book that you have gained through false and misleading facts, so be it. I'll just make sure that during the next (number of years left on contract) that my book will be another of the thousand books that did not sell a copy.)
 

Kevin Yarbrough

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WhisperingBard said:
Damn, Kev, you outsmarted me. :Smack:

Okay, here are my terms for not working at the new PA:

1. I want a ride on the Purple Pony (okay, guys, get your minds out of the gutter!)

2. I want an autographed picture of Jim McD. in his skivvies

3. I want some more of Christine's brownies

4. I want to know Dave's secret

Cough that up and you've got a deal. I'd be proud to not work for you. :D
Bard, I can't resist. You do know that I own the Purple Pony right? You do know that he lives with me, right? So, for you to take a ride on him I will have to be present. I can promise I won't say anything obnoxious, but I can't promise I won't have a few cameras and a camcorder on standby. And I can't say that I won't sell said things to Ed, or put them up on Ebay.
 

KellyS.

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Hey Kevin.
I did ask them about the press releases. Here's my email:

Author Support,
I would rather address someone by name, but since
you choose not to reveal one, that is all I have. I have a question.

>>No press releases were sent out by you regarding my book as was stated.

Yes, they were.

In the above, you state that press releases were sent out. Please tell me
where you sent these and when.
Thank you,
Kelly XXXXX

Here is their response:

> Ms. XXXXX,
> No, in the face of such nonsensical accusations, we will not even bother to
> defend ourselves. It is very common knowledge that we send out press
> releases for all of our authors.
>
> It is you who should be on the defensive, not PublishAmerica. Instead of
> repeating the same incoherent nonsense, the right thing to do would be to
> apologize for saying things about us that are not true. And, to make the
> issue comical, your own "evidence" shows that what you are saying is nonsense.
>
> You sent us a screen shot to back up what you are saying. The problem is,
> of course, that the screen shot backs up exactly what we are saying, and
> neatly contradicts what you are saying:
>
> "Bookstore availability is not necessarily the same as bookstore shelf
> display. For a book to be stocked by a bookstore, someone high in the
> hierarchy must decide to order it. Typically, it's not the store manager
> who makes such decisions, unless he runs an independent store. Larger
> chains such as Waldenbooks and Borders have "buyers" who select which
> titles are to be stocked. Oftentimes, they want to see some noise happening
> before they move."
>
> Your apology and acknowledgement that we treated you fairly, is expected.
> Then, at that point, you might get some better cooperation.
>
> Author Support


HERE is the link to the screenshot:

http://web.archive.org/web/20030202143011/www.publishamerica.com/faqs.htm


Haven't sent this part and won't at the moment, but it does clarify my reasoning on the screenshot:

So, since I wrote you an email with my concerns, you are going to call me incoherent and expect an apology? My screenshot backs up my case of the way you present your company. Instead of straight out saying that you will not be of any help in getting the book in stores, you say bookstore availability doesn't necessitate shelf space. I think if you are going to help "first-time" authors that you could do it in a more straightforward manner. I'm being treated as if I were the only author to ask questions. I know, for a fact, this isn't true. I've seen several emails from you to authors who've asked. They are all the same. Why not address the issues instead of trying to sweep authors under the rug? I asked about the 30, 60, 90 day policy on the message board. What did I get? I got an answer from info center calling me negative. When I went to reply, guess what? My password no longer worked
 

Kevin Yarbrough

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Ed Williams said:
....this week is:

84 (purple in your honor, Kev)

The information brought to you by the Director of Misinformation for the New PA....

P.S. Aconite, razzirazz, and anyone else I may have missed, welcome...
Ed, you are fired. You stated something that was factual and worse, it could be proven to be factual. You should have said 284 books, not 84. I will expect your resignation on my shiny, clutter free desk first thing in the morning. I will also expect an apology, in writing, so as we can use on our website as we see fit.

Kevin Cloppbrough
Ceo of PublishAmigos
 

Kevin Yarbrough

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Kelly, send them an email and ask what their name is? Not the persons name, but the department they work for. When they say Author Support Team then ask how come they are not supporting you, an author? Then ask them what their job description suppose to be. Is it to answer authors qustions or not answer them? And that their refusal to show you the press release just shows that they didn't send any out. Ask them why everytime an author asks a simple question they get defensive and expect an apology? Tell them you expect and apology for being treated not like one of their happy 11,000 authors, but more like a dog that messed on the persian rug.
 

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Actually, there's not much point in exchanging email with PA. It's perfectly worthwhile to try to get a release -- they seem to grant them arbitrarily and you could be the lottery winner today. But once they decide to take a tone, they don't really care about anything but abusing you.

Of course you believed your books would be in bookstores -- you were supposed to believe that. It's part of the bait. Of course you believed they would send out real press releases designed to sell your book -- not the cut and paste crap they send to family and friends. You were supposed to believe in this great service they do for you. PA knows exactly what their crap causes people to believe and it's carefully worded to foster that belief as much as possible while still remaining (they hope) legal.

I'm sorry you didn't win the lottery today, Kelly. I wish every one of the sickened PA authors could get their releases. And I wish boils upon the decision-makers of PA -- boils and frogs and public flatulence that is as noisy and stinky as their business practices.

gran
 

Sher2

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T42 said:
:whip: PERVERT!:horse:
Why aren't you asleep yet? :wag:

Kelly, I know it's going to drive you crazy but, if I were you, I'd keep e-mailing them 'til their eyes roll back. Granted, it's an exercise in futility, but it annoys them and it makes you feel better.
 

CaoPaux

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Threads that make me go
bangdesk.gif


http://www.publishamerica.com/cgi-bin/pamessageboard/data/general/2191.htm

http://www.publishamerica.com/cgi-bin/pamessageboard/data/lounge/8372.htm

http://www.publishamerica.com/cgi-bin/pamessageboard/data/main/11803.htm
 

T42

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Sher2 said:
Why aren't you asleep yet? :wag:

Kelly, I know it's going to drive you crazy but, if I were you, I'd keep e-mailing them 'til their eyes roll back. Granted, it's an exercise in futility, but it annoys them and it makes you feel better.
I'm trying to sleep you silly girl. You keep waking me up....give me one of those squares and I promise I'll go to bed right now! You probably took one of mine anyway!:cry:
 

Kevin Yarbrough

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I just LOVE this part.

"Your apology and acknowledgement that we treated you fairly, is expected.
> Then, at that point, you might get some better cooperation.
>
> Author Support"

So to get any kind of information you have to acknowledge that PA treats you fairly. Who the HELL do they think they are kidding?

AST: For me to do my job and answer your questions you must first say that PublishAmerica treats you fairly and apologize for thinking any bad thoughts about us. Until then, we will not give you any cooperation.

Man, just think if everybody thought like this.

lifeguard: I can't help you if you drown unless you say I am the best looking guard here.

hospital: we can't stop your heart attack unless you say we are the best hospital around.

Spouse: I can't give you sex unless you say that I'm the most sexiest person you ever seen.

Yoda: train you I can not. Unless tell me best Jedi am I.

PA is becoming a bigger joke by the day, and we aren't doing anything to show this. They are doing it all themselves.

Can you hear that? I think the water pumps went out on the pirate ship and it's taking on more water. Hope they have enough life perservers, cause the life guard won't help unless they say he is the best looking. What am I saying? They won't have enough life preservers. They didn't even have enough food for their authors. Oh, crap. It's going to be the Titanic all over again. Think maybe James Cameron will make a movie about it? There is love going on over in Poz land you know.
 

T42

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T42 said:
I'm trying to sleep you silly girl. You keep waking me up....give me one of those squares and I promise I'll go to bed right now! You probably took one of mine anyway!:cry:
:Clap: :banana: :hooray: :Cheers: :thankyou: I Thank you to all who contributed. I got my square.......whoohoo...boy that was the hardest begging I've ever done...my life is timed like that of a dog you know? I have finally trudged the happy road to destiny.:hi: Gotta get the brownies and tea and celebrate.
 

T42

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Oh poo Kelly. Tell the the three trolls to go to hell and then come and have some brownies with me:)
 

WhisperingBard

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Bard, I can't resist. You do know that I own the Purple Pony right? You do know that he lives with me, right? So, for you to take a ride on him I will have to be present. I can promise I won't say anything obnoxious, but I can't promise I won't have a few cameras and a camcorder on standby.

*sigh* A girl just wants to have a little innocent fun....

Okay, okay, forget the pony ride. But do I at least get the picture of Jim in his skivvies?
 

Kevin Yarbrough

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Dolan said:
My PA book is not selling well in Japan.
Dolan, did you write it in Japanese? You know I don't know why it isn't selling well, after all, Meiners book is selling like McGriddles.

Bard, OK, have all the fun you want. I won't watch, promise. Ignore that blinking red light.

People, the best prance song ever is now up. Take a look, I expect a grammy for this one.
 

DeePower

This isn't true

From the PA message board an author stated:

"I guess I understand that a little better. PA wants to see if there is truly a market for our book before they support it."

It is the publisher's responsibility to determine whether a market exists for a book, how large that market is, and how to reach it. The publisher takes the risk in that determination and does it BEFORE a contract is offered. The advance that a publisher offers is based on the potential sales of a title, and those potential sales are based in part on the market for the title. While the author can assist the publisher, the author is not responsible for the entire marketing effort.

Dee
 

Sher2

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T42 said:
I'm trying to sleep you silly girl. You keep waking me up....give me one of those squares and I promise I'll go to bed right now! You probably took one of mine anyway!:cry:
If you call me a thief again, Mem -- or any of the other cutsie little names you've called me today -- I'm going to send Moe-randa the worst e-mail she's ever gotten in her life and sign your name to it. Thank God, you got your box! Maybe now you can just have a nice cup of tea and a brownie and go to sleep.

That tea you sent me, by the way, sucked. It did bizarre things to my brain. I'm getting ready to write a horror novel. I'm calling it "The Resonance."
;)
 

Kevin Yarbrough

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Watch the horror writer bit Sherry, my little theify poo. I'm one. Didn't you read the Purple Pony? God, that was scary. Send me some of that tea, my brain needs some bizarre. Or don't, I can just talk to Ed and get the same thing.

The Resonance would be a perfect title. Can I have it? My autobiography is now called: The Resonance: My life with the POD that ain't.
 
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