Use of now in past tense

CathleenT · Oct 13, 2014

Thanks in advance.

Yet another question from my novel.

Two betas have told me that since I'm writing in past tense, I can't use the word 'now' except in dialogue. Also, that I should eliminate such words as today, tomorrow, and yesterday. I worked to minimize it, left a few in sheer frustration, and thought no more of it.

When answering a post for someone in the basic writing forum, along with basic dialogue tag advice, I threw in to avoid the word now.

Several people came back saying this was unnecessary.

So, what should I do? I would LOVE to ignore what I thought was a rule if it's not. Following is an example of one of the few times I couldn't weed it out of my story.

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[FONT=&quot]Sunday morning, I woke up to what may have been the loudest squirrel I’ve ever heard. I rolled out of my blankets, still sleepy, but now that I was awake I wanted to see what was upsetting it.

[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]*

[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] Since just doesn't seem as [/FONT]snappy. And it would be nice to use tomorrow instead of the following day, too. The latter just seems clunky to me. And yesterday instead of before.

But I don't wish to be incorrect, either.

Dennis E. Taylor · Oct 13, 2014

CathleenT said:
[FONT=&quot]Sunday morning, I woke up to what may have been the loudest squirrel I’ve ever heard. I rolled out of my blankets, still sleepy, but now that I was awake I wanted to see what was upsetting it.
[/FONT]

Sunday morning, I woke up to what may have been the loudest squirrel I’ve ever heard. I rolled out of my blankets, still sleepy, but [since|once] I was awake I wanted to see what was upsetting it.

Although honestly, I wouldn't see any problem with your sentence.

Edit: or, this one:

Sunday morning, I woke up to what may have been the loudest squirrel I’ve ever heard. I rolled out of my blankets, still sleepy, and shot the little *@&#^!

(I don't do well on short sleep

)

Justin K · Oct 13, 2014

CathleenT said:
Thanks in advance.

[FONT=&quot]Sunday morning, I woke up to what may have been the loudest squirrel I’ve ever heard. I rolled out of my blankets, still sleepy, ~~but now that I was awake I wanted~~ wanting to see what was upsetting it.

[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]*[/FONT]

You have a lot of filler that is probably irrelevant to the main story. Remember that it's always best to use the least amount of words possible to say what needs to be said. There's exceptions if you're going for a particular voice, but unless it's truly marvelous, I would just go the cut route. Most of the time there's no problem with the word 'now', as it's usually not said in the context of present tense. For example, "Now I was thinking.." can be past, but "Now I am thinking" is present tense, or so the legend goes. But yes, always avoid 'tomorrow' words because they're a detriment to the fabric of time, in a story that has already happened that is.

King Neptune · Oct 14, 2014

CathleenT said:
So, what should I do? I would LOVE to ignore what I thought was a rule if it's not. Following is an example of one of the few times I couldn't weed it out of my story.

You probably should ignore the advice and what you took to be rules, and figure out for yourself how you want it to read.

[FONT=&quot]

[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]Sunday morning, I woke up to what may have been the loudest squirrel I’ve ever heard. I rolled out of my blankets, still sleepy, but now that I was awake I wanted to see what was upsetting it.
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
Since just doesn't seem as [/FONT]snappy. And it would be nice to use tomorrow instead of the following day, too. The latter just seems clunky to me. And yesterday instead of before.

But I don't wish to be incorrect, either.

That particular use of "now" isn't really right, but it isn't really wrong either. you might rephrase that sentence to: [FONT=&quot] I rolled out of my blankets, still sleepy, but thinking, now that I was awake I wanted to see what was upsetting it, then I could get back to sleep. [/FONT]

Marlys · Oct 14, 2014

Your sentence reads fine to me, so I took a look at the OED to see what it says. It gives one of the definitions of "now" as "At this time; at the time spoken of or referred to; then, next, by that time; at this point. Also more generally: over or during the period under discussion" and provides a number of citations that use the word in past-tense contexts from Old English right up to modern day.

So whether grammarians decide if it's right or not, it's been in standard usage for over a millennium.

Bufty · Oct 14, 2014

If your beta's exact words were that 'since you're writing in past tense, you can't use the word 'now' except in dialogue' your betas are talking absolute rubbish.

Nothing at all wrong with using 'now' in narrative regardless of what tense it's in.

If that was not their exact words and they were simply commenting upon a specific use of the word in a specific sentence they are entitled to do that.

WriterBN · Oct 14, 2014

It's more obvious in third person, but it's not a rule. Many writers (including JK Rowling) do it now, but I still prefer the alternative. Made-up examples:

Harry put away his books and started planning what he would do today.
vs.
Harry put away his books and started planning what he would do that day.

He knew Snape was going to give him detention tomorrow.
vs.
He knew Snape was going to give him detention the next day.

This discussion of time deixis may help. As long as you're consistent, it probably doesn't matter which convention you adopt.

Bufty · Oct 14, 2014

'Now' is a word like any other word and is inherently no more 'obvious' than any other word.

WriterBN said:
It's more obvious in third person, but it's not a rule. Many writers (including JK Rowling) do it now, but I still prefer the alternative. Made-up examples:

Harry put away his books and started planning what he would do today.
vs.
Harry put away his books and started planning what he would do that day.

He knew Snape was going to give him detention tomorrow.
vs.
He knew Snape was going to give him detention the next day.

This discussion of time deixis may help. As long as you're consistent, it probably doesn't matter which convention you adopt.

WriterBN · Oct 14, 2014

I meant the difference in usage was more obvious in third person, not the word itself. I should have made that clearer.

"Now" is still deictic, since it refers to time in a relative context. As is "today" and "tomorrow".

CathleenT · Oct 14, 2014

As a possibly interesting sidebar, I've started rereading novels for examples of omni and close third, and came to the conclusion that in an omni that has a distant feel, something I would think of as a traditional fairy tale voice (Patricia McKillip, Riddle Master of Hed), that the use of now, tomorrow, and yesterday would really be unthinkable. They just don't belong.

But in Dodger, where Terry Pratchett uses an omni that in many places is indistinguishable from close third, these words seem appropriate. (I remember noting at least one instance of the word now.)

So maybe it's a matter of distance in the voice (is there a more elegant way to phrase this?), rather than a matter of tense, per se.

And since one beta writes in omni, with far more distance in her voice than I use in first, that could have been the source of the problem/discrepancy.

The other beta who has tagged it stated that it's something acquisitions editors don't want to see.

It's fine that people make mistakes (I well know I'm not perfect). I just don't want to be one of them in this instance. Much of the rewording I used feels clunkier than my original. I'd love to put it back if there's no reason to avoid now, tomorrow, and yesterday outside of spoken dialogue (and much, but not all of the usage was internal dialogue), when writing in first person past tense.

Many thanks to those who've already commented on this, with more in advance for anyone else who wants to weigh in.

AndyD · Oct 14, 2014

Tangent:

This is something else entirely, but isn't using that second have a mistake there?

As in

Sunday morning, I woke up to what may have been the loudest squirrel ~~I’ve~~ I'd ever heard.

I have is present perfect, implying the activity is happening in the present, extending in the past.

On topic:

I think using now where you did was fine and added to the flavor of the scene, even if it didn't add anything to my understanding of it. Today I'm less in love with, but I still think is fine as long as you stick to first person narration. If you fall into third, I'd remove it.

Tomorrow... I'd avoid that. I can't think of a non-clunky sentence incorporating it.

"I went to the park tomorrow" vs "I went to the park the next day"

"I would go to the park tomorrow," works, I suppose.

There's no contest in my mind.

CathleenT · Oct 14, 2014

I think you're right on your tangent, Andy. Cool, a bonus.

Also:

Tomorrow morning was going to be brutal anyway.

Nymtoc · Oct 15, 2014

I think your betas spend too much time with their noses in the "rule" book. There is nothing wrong with using the word "now" when writing in the past tense. Your sentence ("...now that I was awake...") sounds fine, and I can think of dozens of other examples.

Making up examples: "All hands were on deck now, waiting for the captain's commands." "She had to decide. Either she would tell him now or wait until after dinner." "He was driving too fast now--much too fast--and if that far-off sound was a siren, he was in trouble." "She should have heard from her agent by now."

guttersquid · Oct 15, 2014

CathleenT said:
Two betas have told me that since I'm writing in past tense, I can't use the word 'now' except in dialogue.

This would be a great time to correct your betas. They might appreciate it. Tell them that using now in the past tense is not only acceptable, it is correct.

Grab a dictionary. Now has several definitions, and one of them is at the time referred to. Here is the example my dictionary provides: The clock now struck three. Night was now approaching.

Just because they're your betas doesn't meant they're always right.

cat_named_easter · Nov 1, 2014

It's definitely fine to use. I weirdly had a similar problem in that I was using it WAY too much. I realised halfway through my MS (which is in past tense) that I was using it practically twice a page. So had to go back and take loads out - but only because it was getting super-repetitive, not because it was 'wrong'. I've had two people beta-read it and neither mentioned a problem with using 'now' in past tense.
... And even if they did I would have ignored it!

Use of now in past tense

CathleenT

I write

Dennis E. Taylor

Get it off! It burns!

Justin K

King Neptune

Marlys

Resist. Love. Go outside.

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

WriterBN

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

WriterBN

CathleenT

I write

AndyD

CathleenT

I write

Nymtoc

Benefactor Member

guttersquid

I agree with Roxxsmom.

cat_named_easter