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Writing basics - paying it forward

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Carmen Baxter

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I can't do more than apologize. And I am sorry. It was a poorly worded request, then I wrote when I felt attacked, which I knew I shouldn't do. No amount of backpedaling makes any difference, nor should it. There's no fix.
 

quicklime

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I can't do more than apologize. And I am sorry. It was a poorly worded request, then I wrote when I felt attacked, which I knew I shouldn't do. No amount of backpedaling makes any difference, nor should it. There's no fix.


Bullshit.

Carmen, in all honestly, I've fucked up here many, many times. There's folks who know more than I do, times I worded things poorly, times I was behind the current market, and a whole shit-ton of others.

And I am a dearly loved and universally admired member of AW, where women want me and men want to be me. Ok, or something like that. :p

Maybe not, but I am getting by. None of my fuckups have killed or crippled me. Know why?

I apologized. I fell on my sword and fessed to my own stoopidz.

That simple. But there is a world of difference between "I apologize, XYZ clearly has more experience than I do" and "I'm sorry; you read my stuff wrong and got mean to me."

You've returned to the thread repeatedly to do the latter of the two, which isn't really an apology at all, isn't moving forward, and isn't helping you.
 

Unimportant

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No, I'm leaving Absolute Write. Yes, I became defensive, and I'm still feeling that way. Because it was suggested I'm not fit to teach, and that I'm doing something unethical. I was upset. Teary. Wondering where I'd gone wrong. Feeling sorry for myself. So I wrote about my experience on my blog. I'll take that down, too.

C, take a deep breath and put this into perspective.

You put up a post suggesting something that was, perhaps, not too well thought-out and incompletely described. Half a dozen people said "Whoa there, tiger". One thread, a handful of people discussing it, on a board that as of this moment has:
Threads: 246,247
Posts: 8,569,516
Members: 59,804
Use it as a learning moment. Writers want specifics; not surprising, as they're used to publishing contracts. Writers want to see credentials; not surprising, as they've encountered way too many scams, well-meaning-but-clueless start-up presses, authors trying to pretend to be agents, self-publishers trying to pretend to be trade presses, publishers trying to pretend to be readers, etc.

They've probably saved you from a lot of angst. I could've put my hand up and said "I'll write a section on grammar!" And then you'd have read my bit and gone "Er, U, you don't know what the frack you're talking about. A gerund is not someone who lives in Germany." And I'd have been all "How dare you turn down free help! Plus I am a professional writer! I once got a story published and everything! My words are golden! Every author should read my How To Write essays! Imma tell Mac you're being meeeaaaaan to me!" and.....

Editing to add: I would not really have done this. I'd have just said "Tell all those newbies to buy "Self Editing For Fiction Writers"."
 
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Carmen Baxter

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I am not saying people were mean to me. I am saying I felt people were mean to me. I have reread the posts, and I see now that wasn't the case. Then I got defensive and said things I shouldn't have said. I am truly sorry for what I said. For offending anyone. I'm sorry.
 

Carmen Baxter

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C, take a deep breath and put this into perspective.

I'm trying. :) Ever get that feeling that you messed up really bad? I am, because I did. Repeatedly.

I return in the hope of...I don't know. Some solution. Which is crazy. I keep telling myself not to post again, and here I go again.

Thanks for trying to cool things down. Still, I'm sorry.
 

Unimportant

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No worries. You reacted, thought about it, explained, and....can now move on. :)

By tomorrow, no one will even remember this thread exists.
 

Wilde_at_heart

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I firmly believe in good writing classes, in a college degree in the field, but I can't help but believe the primary help new writers need come from published books and short stories, not the internet, and not some sort of mentor. Not understanding the basics usually, in my experience, comes from not studying what you read closely enough.

Agreed. In addition I'd rather 'pay it forward' to those who've already put in a decent amount of effort to grasp the basics to begin with. If anything, I'm in favour of less spoon-feeding and hand-holding rather than more.
 
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