Soopid Quesetion#3 What should I avoid when writing about a cheating wife character?

AndreF · Oct 19, 2014

I've been reading a number of stories involving a cheating wife. Most are somewhat standard and only a few stuck out ... with the initial discovery.

I'm going to try my hand at such a story even though I've never been in a relationship (it's personal) .. the one back in my school days doesn't count either (it was a prank set up by the student body).

But I did read various reports from various sources mainly science. But there were some women magazine articles and blogs I came across as well some things from the. So I'll let science provide some of the guidelines I should follow.

I'm curious as to know what things I should avoid doing before I get started though.

I did quick search in the forums for this but didn't see anything that stuck out. I do apologize if this question has been asked before.

Marian Perera · Oct 19, 2014

...The same things you'd avoid with a cheating husband character.

I can't be more specific because I'm not sure what your story is about or who your target market is.

Roxxsmom · Oct 19, 2014

One thing I'd avoid is having the wronged husband's response cross the line into abuse and portray it as acceptable or sympathetic behavior. Anger, even righteous anger over being betrayed, shouldn't be about ownership and punishment.

Other than that, what I'd find interesting would depend on whose story it is.

Is it completely the husband's story, and is the unfaithful wife just a plot device to get it going? For this kind of story, her reasons or motives may not be all that important, unless his journey of self discovery leads him back to her, or perhaps, down a path where he realizes he played a role in the problems in their relationship.

Or is it her story? If so, what are her reasons for cheating? Where does it take her?

Or is it a story about both of them, or one about him where she is a character in her own right, less than perfect, perhaps, but not entirely unsympathetic. Or at least with somewhat relatable motives of her own?

AndreF · Oct 19, 2014

One thing I'd avoid is having the wronged husband's response cross the line into abuse and portray it as acceptable or sympathetic behavior. Anger, even righteous anger over being betrayed, shouldn't be about ownership and punishment.

Okay. I'll keep that in mind.

Roxxsmom said:
One thing I'd avoid is having the wronged husband's response cross the line into abuse and portray it as acceptable or sympathetic behavior. Anger, even righteous anger over being betrayed, shouldn't be about ownership and punishment.

Other than that, what I'd find interesting would depend on whose story it is.

Is it completely the husband's story, and is the unfaithful wife just a plot device to get it going? For this kind of story, her reasons or motives may not be all that important, unless his journey of self discovery leads him back to her, or perhaps, down a path where he realizes he played a role in the problems in their relationship.

Right this story is about the husband. For now I don't think there is a chance he'll be going back to her (that could change) but for now I'm thinking that's a standard story line. Maybe the husband did something (i.e work too much) that forced his wife to cheat on him or maybe she was just using him the whole time and he was too blind to see it. Whatever the catalyst and motives are may not matter like you said because I plan to have the story focus on him.

Putputt · Oct 19, 2014

Heh, I'm not entirely sure what science articles say about cheating wives or husbands, but I'd suggest just approaching her character as that--another character. She should have a history that is independent of her marriage, she should be her own person, just like her husband. Then come up with their history as a couple, and how it's changed both of them. What are their motivations etc. Kinda like how you'd approach any other character, really.

Brightdreamer · Oct 19, 2014

The obvious answer would be: avoid flat stereotypes.

So the wife cheated on the husband - don't portray it as "all women are b*tches" or "she was just a (term for lady of lax virtue)." And the husband needn't be the Perfect Man who was backstabbed by the Sinful Woman, any more than he need be the Cold Ogre who drove the Little Lady away. Look for a few shades of gray; he may have thought he was being a perfect husband, but in retrospect realizes he hadn't actually talked to his wife for over a year because he was too busy at work, while she kept wanting to mention how she was feeling neglected but (possibly incorrectly) decided he was more committed to his boss than to her and wouldn't listen anyway. Maybe he thought he was helping his marriage by devoting himself to his job, so they could retire early and spend their waning years together in comfort (his own parents never had that luxury), while she grew up with an absentee workaholic father who blew up whenever her mom dared ask for his time (she still has nightmares about those arguments, so she fears opening her mouth to her own husband lest he become the terror she remembers). Or maybe they both married too young and grew apart, rather than together, as the years passed. Neither was willing to admit it - maybe pride kept them together, or maybe it was a case of the devil you know versus the devil you don't - until something finally gave.

Often, there's a lot more going wrong with a relationship when someone strays; cheating tends to be a symptom, not the disease in and of itself. Even if it's the throwaway incident that sparks the story, your husband character is probably going to wonder just what happened, if he had anything to do with it or could've changed anything. At one point, in theory, he did love this woman, and she (also theoretically) loved him. He's not going to just shrug his shoulders and brush her off as good riddance to bad rubbish because she's just a harpy and he's better off without her. That's a wound that's going to sting for a while - unless you make him a stereotype of a male with the emotional depth of a puddle.

In short, think of your characters as people, not cardboard cutouts from the stock bin.

blacbird · Oct 20, 2014

Using the name of your Ex.

caw

quicklime · Oct 20, 2014

everyone is different.

I've known a few women who cheated, and they have generally done so because they felt abandoned by their husbands, but women cheat for thrill, social standing, to "right an old wrong" with a near-flame from their past, for revenge, and for a hundred other reasons....just like men do.

AndreF · Oct 20, 2014

Brightdreamer said:
The obvious answer would be: avoid flat stereotypes.

So the wife cheated on the husband - don't portray it as "all women are b*tches" or "she was just a (term for lady of lax virtue)." And the husband needn't be the Perfect Man who was backstabbed by the Sinful Woman, any more than he need be the Cold Ogre who drove the Little Lady away. Look for a few shades of gray; he may have thought he was being a perfect husband, but in retrospect realizes he hadn't actually talked to his wife for over a year because he was too busy at work, while she kept wanting to mention how she was feeling neglected but (possibly incorrectly) decided he was more committed to his boss than to her and wouldn't listen anyway. Maybe he thought he was helping his marriage by devoting himself to his job, so they could retire early and spend their waning years together in comfort (his own parents never had that luxury), while she grew up with an absentee workaholic father who blew up whenever her mom dared ask for his time (she still has nightmares about those arguments, so she fears opening her mouth to her own husband lest he become the terror she remembers). Or maybe they both married too young and grew apart, rather than together, as the years passed. Neither was willing to admit it - maybe pride kept them together, or maybe it was a case of the devil you know versus the devil you don't - until something finally gave.

Often, there's a lot more going wrong with a relationship when someone strays; cheating tends to be a symptom, not the disease in and of itself. Even if it's the throwaway incident that sparks the story, your husband character is probably going to wonder just what happened, if he had anything to do with it or could've changed anything. At one point, in theory, he did love this woman, and she (also theoretically) loved him. He's not going to just shrug his shoulders and brush her off as good riddance to bad rubbish because she's just a harpy and he's better off without her. That's a wound that's going to sting for a while - unless you make him a stereotype of a male with the emotional depth of a puddle.

In short, think of your characters as people, not cardboard cutouts from the stock bin.

Thank you for taking the time to spell some those things out for me.

That was a very good point about having it being a big wound that will take some time to heal. So I'll make real sure that is something that's always tugging away at him. (in recent months at least) later he just might get over it or get used to it.

Once again thank you so much for taking the time to provide that excellent advice.

AndreF · Oct 20, 2014

quicklime said:
everyone is different.

I've known a few women who cheated, and they have generally done so because they felt abandoned by their husbands, but women cheat for thrill, social standing, to "right an old wrong" with a near-flame from their past, for revenge, and for a hundred other reasons....just like men do.

Men cheat for those reasons too? Didn't know that. I just thought they were being low lifes they can't keep their word and think they were all that because they have another woman on the side ... bastards.

I understand that the reasons why vary. Even though science has a few theories that basically take all those reasons and compile them into a nice and very interesting read.

However the primary goal here is to figure out what to avoid.

We all know I'm the dumbest guy on the planet and right here in Absolute write so when I see "you'd avoid the same with a male character" I get lost because I wouldn't know what to avoid with him either.

Come on people I'm dumber that box of rocks. I'm a medical marvel the only human being that truly doesn't have a brain. I'm dumber than most people on Earth. How I lived this long is a miracle, a medical marvel. I feel that I exist to give some people hope so when they look at me or my post they know they're better than me. They'll go somewhere before I will. Yeah I'm pretty dumb... I'm not going to hide it...can't. Hell you all see how stupid I am. I'm not that smart at all. You can't get any dumber than me. You know the dude that was drunk and did the thing with the hornets nest was dumb and he was smarter than me. So can I make it even more transparent that I'm nothing more than a steaming pile of fecal matter that should be glad to have the bit of brain power that I have?

I just know people cheat. There are various reasons why. I'm not focusing too much on the why part. I don't know what to avoid even if it were a male character. And every other character I developed really wouldn't fit with most people know or have met in their life.

quicklime · Oct 20, 2014

AndreF said:
Men cheat for those reasons too? Didn't know that. I just thought they were being low lifes they can't keep their word and think they were all that because they have another woman on the side ... bastards.
i read this initially thinking you were being facetious, and I'm no longer sure after reading the rest of this. Either you are a saint, the crown prince of denial and utterly unaware you've ever done anything shady, or you know damn well that you have, and you've failed. Probably lots of times. At none of those were you simply a "low-life bastard" I assume. You were selfish, weak, obsessed in the heat of the moment, unaware of the consequences of your actions, etc.

You will never write well if you're unable to write in any colors beyond black or white.

I understand that the reasons why vary. Even though science has a few theories that basically take all those reasons and compile them into a nice and very interesting read. I'm a scientist. I'd still be reluctant to use anything you find in Nature on the breeding habits of Cooper's hawks, or the decline in sexual frequency in early adult Japanese businessmen, and use these as the basis to build characters or their motivations out of.

However the primary goal here is to figure out what to avoid. which is why people are telling you what to consider. Like that they're people, who cheat for myriad reasons, and the only one that matters is the one(s) that matter to THEM. We were telling you what to avoid: stereotype. Blanket statements. Judging.

We all know I'm the dumbest guy on the planet and right here in Absolute write so when I see "you'd avoid the same with a male character" I get lost because I wouldn't know what to avoid with him either. this shit (and it is just that, shit) is utterly unhelpful. Right now, there's things you don't understand. There always will be. But beating yourself over it, publicly, isn't oing to help you learn anything, it only siphons time you might be spending learning away in the name of the pity-party.

Come on people I'm dumber that box of rocks. I'm a medical marvel the only human being that truly doesn't have a brain. I'm dumber than most people on Earth. How I lived this long is a miracle, a medical marvel. I feel that I exist to give some people hope so when they look at me or my post they know they're better than me. They'll go somewhere before I will. Yeah I'm pretty dumb... I'm not going to hide it...can't. Hell you all see how stupid I am. I'm not that smart at all. You can't get any dumber than me. You know the dude that was drunk and did the thing with the hornets nest was dumb and he was smarter than me. So can I make it even more transparent that I'm nothing more than a steaming pile of fecal matter that should be glad to have the bit of brain power that I have? again, not helpful. You're here to learn, or not. This just gets in the way of learning.

I just know people cheat. There are various reasons why. I'm not focusing too much on the why part. bolded, because this is perhaps the heart of the matter: er, if you aren't more than passingly interested in the "why" exactly how do you think you're going to create a realistic character? That's like saying you want to write a very realistic soldier, but without all that knowing guns and fighting and boot camp stuff.... I don't know what to avoid even if it were a male character. And every other character I developed really wouldn't fit with most people know or have met in their life.

so....if the characters you developed won't fit in with folks in real life....why not? What makes them not fit? You write deliberately "out there" characters, or you're failing to write realistic characters? Because those aren't at all the same thing.

AndreF · Oct 20, 2014

Touché

I myself have never been in a relationship ... ever. (well one that wasn't a prank) And I know people have their reasons but it doesn't mean a thing to me really. You gave your word to that person and you broke it.

I came across something called the Dark Triad theory and have plans to check it out later on. I don't know too much about it personally to make a statement on it however I did see it pop up in conversation on various sites and blogs.

So the reasons why are as you've all said very abundant and I will have to find some appropriate reasons for my characters when I get to that part. What situation they'll be in, the circumstances, etc.

However I do see a standard format with most stories I've read that I'm already going to avoid. Things such as the initial discovery, handling the aftermath, and moving forward.

With my limited knowledge and from what I read its clear cut. The husband failed to satisfy some need his wife had. Whatever that need was someone else took care of it. She no longer loves and respects him because of his failure to fulfill that need and the relationship is pretty much over. I like what Bright said earlier. Maybe the husband thought he was doing everything right just to find out that he was doing everything wrong. So maybe its the husbands fault.

I did some daydreaming how would I feel if I came home after day of work and see my wife getting plowed by some dude I don't know and see her enjoying every second of it. Answer Devastated. What would I do? Let her be with the one she loves. Clearly its not me. I'll Ghost and send the divorce papers. Me personally I try to avoid situations that would require physical violence (for personal reasons call me a coward if you wish but if possible I try my best to remove myself and friends from those situations. If I have to use force I will.) Had I came home and saw things knocked over and broken and my wife screaming for help or at least trying to fight the guy off then it would've been go time. Otherwise it was it is. If she prefers to be with someone else I'll just leave. If the other guy gives her the happiness she wants who am I to take it away? Would I forgive her? Sure. Would I be married to her? Nope.

But even then I wouldn't know because it hasn't happened yet. May never will either according to a few things I came across.

So the reasons why can go from the ground to the sky.

I'm just looking for additional things to avoid. Like the amount the Drama that would go into the aftermath. That "baby I can explain!" my other annoying is one is "honey its not what it looks like." (really let's see two naked people covered in sweat on top of a bed is just a game of twister gone wrong?) Please.

quicklime · Oct 20, 2014

AndreF said:
Touché

I myself have never been in a relationship ... ever. (well one that wasn't a prank) And I know people have their reasons but it doesn't mean a thing to me really. You gave your word to that person and you broke it.
and you can absolutely write the other person's interpretation that simplistically. Some folks insist on seeing things that clear-cut, mostly through generous helpings of denial and hypocrisy.

My point is you can't only see the "cheater" that simplistically as a writer, if they are ever going to be more than moustache-twirling caricatures of evil cock-gobbling slut-women. Which is NOT going to market well.

I came across something called the Dark Triad theory and have plans to check it out later on. I don't know too much about it personally to make a statement on it however I did see it pop up in conversation on various sites and blogs.

So the reasons why are as you've all said very abundant and I will have to find some appropriate reasons for my characters when I get to that part. What situation they'll be in, the circumstances, etc.

However I do see a standard format with most stories I've read that I'm already going to avoid. Things such as the initial discovery, handling the aftermath, and moving forward. I'm not sure I follow....you're not going to have your characters....move forward?

With my limited knowledge and from what I read its clear cut. The husband failed to satisfy some need his wife had. Whatever that need was someone else took care of it. She no longer loves and respects him because of his failure to fulfill that need and the relationship is pretty much over. ...and you're already off the rails again. In many cases the husband fails the wife, or perhaps she only sees it that way, but in many of those cases she also still loves him. Love, fucking, and everything in between is complicated. Again, you can't boil it down to a black-white, good-bad, in love-out of love sort of binary. Life isn't like that, and your book will feel incredibly stilted and manifesto-ish

I like what Bright said earlier. Maybe the husband thought he was doing everything right just to find out that he was doing everything wrong. truth be told, this probably happens at least as often as intentional slights....in some of the cases I am thinking of it certainly did, the guy was a good guy, but clueless in some area of their relationship and unable to see how alone he was leaving his wife. So maybe its the husbands fault. this isn't an endorsement of cheating, but maybe....it is nobody's fault, or both of their faults.

I did some daydreaming how would I feel if I came home after day of work and see my wife getting plowed by some dude I don't know and see her enjoying every second of it. Answer Devastated. What would I do? Let her be with the one she loves. good answer, let her be with the one she loves. And as someone who's had to let go of someone he loves, because she chose someone else, it is gut-wrenching. We weren't even married. But here's the next question: As i said above, that may not be the one she loves. And you, or your MC, leave or stay, may want some closure. Just food for thought.
Clearly its not me. I'll Ghost and send the divorce papers. Me personally I try to avoid situations that would require physical violence (for personal reasons call me a coward if you wish but if possible I try my best to remove myself and friends from those situations. If I have to use force I will.) but there is no requirement for violence here...Had I came home and saw things knocked over and broken and my wife screaming for help or at least trying to fight the guy off then it would've been go time. Otherwise it was it is. If she prefers to be with someone else I'll just leave. If the other guy gives her the happiness she wants who am I to take it away? Would I forgive her? Sure. Would I be married to her? Nope.

But even then I wouldn't know because it hasn't happened yet. May never will either according to a few things I came across.

So the reasons why can go from the ground to the sky.

I'm just looking for additional things to avoid. Like the amount the Drama that would go into the aftermath. That "baby I can explain!" my other annoying is one is "honey its not what it looks like." (really let's see two naked people covered in sweat on top of a bed is just a game of twister gone wrong?) Please.

ok, please, as you say; what is happening is clear. But THAT ISN'T THE POINT. The point in cases like that, denying sexts sent late at night, etc. isn't because they feel they have a strong lie, it is because they have a lie, any lie, and will play what they have and hope for a break.....

Marian Perera · Oct 20, 2014

AndreF said:
Men cheat for those reasons too? Didn't know that. I just thought they were being low lifes they can't keep their word and think they were all that because they have another woman on the side ... bastards.

Reading a lot more books might help give you insight into other reasons why both men and women cheat.

We all know I'm the dumbest guy on the planet and right here in Absolute write so when I see "you'd avoid the same with a male character" I get lost because I wouldn't know what to avoid with him either.

It's this kind of self-pity that makes me want to avoid any thread you start. And if I do post on those threads, to keep it brief.

I think you do want to learn. But the constant "O noes, I am the stoopidest man who ever lived" gets really grating.

AndreF · Oct 20, 2014

However I do see a standard format with most stories I've read that I'm already going to avoid. Things such as the initial discovery, handling the aftermath, and moving forward. I'm not sure I follow....you're not going to have your characters....move forward?

Ooops. What I was saying is that most stories seem to have pretty much a standard way of dealing with how the characters discovered the infidelity, how the aftermath was handled and how they moved forward.

I want to be unique in this aspect and respectful. With the handling of the aftermath in some stories the spouse (either man or woman) is reduced to less than human. Or with the initial discovery you'd see "its not what you think it is" or "I can explain".

Came across one story where the MC encountered their wife with another man and they were just casual about it "we'll be done in a minute. Don't worry it's just sex." (That was a weird read)

But then another great one I read was someone setting the MC up to think their wife was cheating so the MC could divorce the wife. Then the other person would take the wife.

Then I've seen one story (movie actually) where someone called the MC's wife a cheating bitch. The MC despite seeing his wife with another man ... lunged across the table to choke the guy.

As for moving forward its typically a happy ending. The one that was cheated on becomes successful while the other is nothing more than a bum living in a box. Its things like that I'm looking to avoid as well. Yes we all like to see the bad guy suffer and get theirs in the end. But sometimes the bad guy (or in the case the one that cheated on the spouse) ends up a decent place too or the good guy winds up in a bad position in the end.

Lillith1991 · Oct 20, 2014

Marian Perera said:
Reading a lot more books might help give you insight into other reasons why both men and women cheat.

It's this kind of self-pity that makes me want to avoid any thread you start. And if I do post on those threads, to keep it brief.

I think you do want to learn. But the constant "O noes, I am the stoopidest man who ever lived" gets really grating.

I agree with Marian, read more and you will see there's a lot of reasons people cheat. I also have to agree with her second point, the non-stop self pity is more than a bit gratting for me. It's a reason I tend not to answer many of your threads.

Jamesaritchie · Oct 20, 2014

Be realistic to the characters, which means there are zero things you shouldn't do, zero things you shouldn't use, including "stereotypes". Stereotypes are what they are because they're most often largely truthful.

It's all in the characters you use. Let's face it, the husband is not going to be a happy camper. He probably will think of her as a cheating bitch who just doesn't care about anything but herself, and she may even be such a person. Or she may feel extremely guilty about the affair, and he may be an uncaring, remote spouse.

Anything goes, as long as it fits the characters.

Maryn · Oct 20, 2014

Is no one but me thinking this may be a fine example of the adage to write what you know? Someone who has never been in a relationship is likely to struggle writing a story about a relationship gone wrong. It will either take a fair amount of research hand-in-hand with developing deep character bios so you know what they will do and why, or it will ring false.

Which is not to say that you should not do it, but that you have chosen a subject--relationships which end in cheating--which is familiar to so many people that any false note you include will be immediately apparent due to your inexperience. Are you sure this is what you want to write about?

You've gotten some very wise replies up-thread, but please consider carefully whether this is the right time for you to tackle this story.

Maryn, not saying do or don't, but saying think first

AndreF · Oct 20, 2014

Maryn said:
Is no one but me thinking this may be a fine example of the adage to write what you know? Someone who has never been in a relationship is likely to struggle writing a story about a relationship gone wrong. It will either take a fair amount of research hand-in-hand with developing deep character bios so you know what they will do and why, or it will ring false.

Which is not to say that you should not do it, but that you have chosen a subject--relationships which end in cheating--which is familiar to so many people that any false note you include will be immediately apparent due to your inexperience. Are you sure this is what you want to write about?

You've gotten some very wise replies up-thread, but please consider carefully whether this is the right time for you to tackle this story.

Maryn, not saying do or don't, but saying think first

Good question for me to ask. In an earlier reply I mentioned that this story will focus more on the MC and the event in which he discovered the infidelity is there to serve as a catalyst to get things set in motion. However it was requested more depth be added. Which can be done so as not to make the wife seem like some one dimensional cardboard cutout.

But I will give this some extra thought as I'm continuing to find all the research materials I can get my hands on. That's exactly what I'm doing. Reading other stories, reading blogs and reports from people that had to through such a thing, reading what I can to make sure the characters are believable.

By the way anyone heard of this Dark Triad theory stuff? Is that accurate?

quicklime · Oct 20, 2014

AndreF said:
...

By the way anyone heard of this Dark Triad theory stuff? Is that accurate? Seems like a load of crap to me.

well, what are you asking?

if the traits of Machiavellianism, narcissism, and whatever the third was are real?

If they manifest in actual psychological conditions instead of just being "things that make a person a dick"?

If they make one more predisposed to cheat?

If there is an arguable survival benefit to them?

I just quick googled it, i think without question the traits occur in people, singularly or otherwise. And they would likely make a person more likely to cheat, as they both diminish the persons you hurt and elevate your own needs above others. But what exactly are you asking, in terms of the dark triad???

AndreF · Oct 20, 2014

I was just curious about the validity of it.

As mating strategy

It has been suggested that the dark triad traits appear to predispose individuals to short-term rewards and relationships over long-term rewards and benefits. Although advanced societies attempt to promote long-term thinking (environmental protection, saving money for retirement), there are reproductive benefits for the individual for thinking and acting on a shorter time-course.

Consistent with this perspective, studies have suggested that on average, those who exhibit the dark triad of personality traits have an accelerated mating strategy, reporting more sex partners, more favorable attitudes towards casual sex, lowered standards in their short-term mates, a tendency to steal or poach mates from others,more risk-taking in the form of substance abuse, a tendency to prefer immediate but smaller amounts of money over delayed but larger amounts of money, limited self-control and greater incidence of ADHD symptoms and a pragmatic and game-playing love style. These traits have been identified as part of a fast life strategy that appears to be enacted by an exploitative, opportunistic, and protean approach to life in general and at work.

Contrarily, there is a lack of empirical evidence for a correlation between psychopathy and reproductive success. Additionally, using established measures of the dark triad, these traits are not universally short-term-oriented nor are they all impulsive. Furthermore, much of the research reported pertaining to the dark triad cited in the above paragraph is based on statistical procedures that erroneously assume the dark triad are a single construct, in spite of genetic and meta-analytic evidence to the contrary.

quicklime · Oct 20, 2014

but of what?

those ARE traits, so you aren't curious if they exist.....what do you mean by "validity" then, and in what context?

Your question "what do you think of it" is a somewhat incomplete question, as I'm not entirely sure what facet of the notion you mean by "it." As I said, people can unquestionably be narcissistic, calculating, careless, etc......so what is the part you were questioning? The fact the traits exist seems pretty clear-cut, you appear to have an issue with some conclusion or theory about them, but I'm not sure what part you were asking about

AndreF · Oct 20, 2014

Edited previous post with the text I was reading. IF I'm reading it right it seems that people that .. are basically assholes attract more people than a person who doesn't exude those traits. The bad boy gets the girl and the nice guy looses.

quicklime · Oct 20, 2014

well, i can tell you from experience sometimes the bad boy loses the girl as well ;-)

there have always been, at least theoretically, multiple mating strategies. Google sneaker bluegill, or infidelity in coopers hawks, for example. With sneaker bluegill, the traditional model is the biggest, baddest bluegill males make the biggest nests and attract the hottest fish-wimmen to come lay eggs in their sexy love-pad. But there is a sub-group of bluegill males who tend to NOT grow as quickly or be as aggressive, the "sneaker phenotype," who also experience reproductive success by essentially hovering on the sidelines until the female is ready to lay eggs, never preparing their own nest or devoting so much energy into growing large and imposing. Why? They devote their energy to making semen. They are the Peter North, jizz-factory, spermaliciousest of the bluegill and they just sit there, smaller and faster, and wait.....and then when she's hot and bothered they reproduce by quickly swimming up and fishjaculating their copious love-load all over her eggs before the big male can chase them and their cheating fish-come off of his sofa.

I wouldn't entirely discount the dark triad thing as a sort of mating strategy, in that bad boys do get the girls sometimes, but I also doubt it is passed on genetically, making it dubious to imply it is some genetic reproductive strategy. I think it is more of a learned thing. Also, sometimes the bad guy gets the girl......but as I said, sometimes the good guy does as well. Were I to bet, I would say the good guy tends to get the girl far more often, or at least to "keep the girl."

Maryn · Oct 20, 2014

quicklime, you deserve recognition for the word "fishjaculating."

Maryn, just sayin'

Soopid Quesetion#3 What should I avoid when writing about a cheating wife character?

practical experience, FTW

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Just Another Lazy Perfectionist

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