QUILTBAG general thread?

kuwisdelu

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Does anyone else think it would be nice to have a general QUILTBAG thread for introductions and general QUILTBAG-related / safe-space conversations that don't necessarily need their own threads?

Kind of like the T party thread but for more general, non-tg-specific conversation, or just as a general QUILTBAG-friendly discussion thread?
 

kuwisdelu

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Hi. I'm Kuwi.

My latest theory as to figuring myself out is that I'm not actually bisexual, but rather bigender, and I'm attracted to girls when I identify as male and guys when I identify as female.

MFW wondering if this actually makes me a privileged straight person and I should GTFO.

O_O
 

slhuang

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MFW wondering if this actually makes me a privileged straight person and I should GTFO.

O_O

Aw, Kuwi, of course you're welcome here no matter how you decide to identify. :Hug2:

Incidentally, one thing I love about a lot of safe spaces is how people just . . . don't judge. You're straight, that's cool. You're gay, that's cool. You're bisexual aromantic, that's cool. Your identity isn't in the dictionary,* that's cool too.

It can be such a relief -- one of the most tiring things I find about mentioning identity in the mainstream is that people always demand I explain. Or worse, defend.

* Tried to find a link to the relevant Girls With Slingshots comic; my google fu failed.
 

J.S.F.

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Meh, what you are, you are, and if you're happy that way, then no one has the right to judge you. I'm straight, I love my wife, and that's about it. For those who are into same-sex relationships, more power to you. Find happiness with the one who makes you happy. It's all good.
 

buz

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Hi. I'm Kuwi.

My latest theory as to figuring myself out is that I'm not actually bisexual, but rather bigender, and I'm attracted to girls when I identify as male and guys when I identify as female.

If nothing else, that's a great icebreaker. ;) You know, for job interviews, random-stranger-bus-conversations, etc.

:D
 
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Deleted member 42

Hi. I'm Kuwi.

My latest theory as to figuring myself out is that I'm not actually bisexual, but rather bigender, and I'm attracted to girls when I identify as male and guys when I identify as female.

MFW wondering if this actually makes me a privileged straight person and I should GTFO.

O_O

Orientation is one thing, gender another. You can has both. And orientation is more a spectrum or, in GUI terms, a slider. Nor am I certain that gender for many isn't also a spectrum.

And I have straight people in my family, even! o_O

However you identify, you're our Kuwi.
 

Rhoda Nightingale

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Great idea, Kuwi. :) I'm all for an introductory whatsit in here. I feel like there was something similar, or a thread we were using for kinda the same thing, back when the subforum was born? Did I imagine that?

Anyway:

I've been ID'ing as bi for a while, but I think a more accurate term is something like "panromantic asexual." Not terribly interested in sex, but in someone I can carry on a good, deep conversation with, gender and biological sex not being an issue. (Yeesh--this sounds like a personals ad now.)

The thing is, the more reading I do, and the more I educate myself on LGBT issues in general, the more words I learn. And the ones I was using before don't seem to fit anymore.
 

buz

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kuwisdelu

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Great idea, Kuwi. :) I'm all for an introductory whatsit in here. I feel like there was something similar, or a thread we were using for kinda the same thing, back when the subforum was born? Did I imagine that?

I think there probably was too, but didn't see anything, so I started this.

I was kind of frustrated with another thread over in gaming and remembered how nice the no-BS is in this sub-forum and began to miss that it didn't have a general discussion thread of any kind. I'm hoping it can be for more than just introductions. Just kind of a safe space for whatever off-topic conversation.

I've been ID'ing as bi for a while, but I think a more accurate term is something like "panromantic asexual."

I went with bisexual and then pansexual but neither felt quite right.
 

Goldbirch

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There was this relatively recent thread, which got rescued from an unpromising start and which Mac gave an excellent name:
http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=256609&page=3 I was a little sad when that petered out.

This is a nice thread, too. Go, general thread, go!

I'm Goldbirch, and I'm shy. Also bi, or at least that's the word I've been using. It's easier and tidier than "mostly skews straight, but is happily married to a same-sex partner".
 

kuwisdelu

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A few months ago, I casually mentioned to my father that I wished I were a little girl. But that might have been because I've been hanging out on /a/ too much lately.
 

Rhoda Nightingale

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I'm hoping it can be for more than just introductions. Just kind of a safe space for whatever off-topic conversation.
A safe space for randomness sounds awesome. :) I had another forum for that awhile ago, but it sort of dissolved. Still in touch with a lot of those people, but in other capacities.

I went with bisexual and then pansexual but neither felt quite right.
That's the other thing that's both frustrating/enlightening for me--I feel like new orientations/identities seem to pop up every time I turn around. It's interesting, but I feel like I'm always playing catch-up. Not that I begrudge anyone finding new, more accurate terms for themselves--not at all. But...so much vocabulary!
 

kuwisdelu

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That's the other thing that's both frustrating/enlightening for me--I feel like new orientations/identities seem to pop up every time I turn around. It's interesting, but I feel like I'm always playing catch-up. Not that I begrudge anyone finding new, more accurate terms for themselves--not at all. But...so much vocabulary!

At some point, it becomes a question of whether you want to use a word that best describes you, actually take the time to describe yourself, or just use a word that other people will know that's kinda-sorta "close enough".

I tried "I'm not straight" for a while, but then people assumed I was gay. Then I tried "I'm not exactly straight". But then gay people I met assumed I was just closeted.

:Shrug:
 

Rhoda Nightingale

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Yeah, "close-enough" is what I go with most of the time IRL. I'm pretty sure my family doesn't know what "panromantic" means, and I'm too lazy to define it for them.
 

RemaCaracappa

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So.

Who is everyone else?

I generally identify as bi because its easy to say and concise, but it's a lot more accurate to say that I tend to be attracted to extremely specific persons without regard to whether they're male or female (though they have been historically cisgendered.)

I'm ridiculously picky...lol
 

kuwisdelu

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I generally identify as bi because its easy to say and concise, but it's a lot more accurate to say that I tend to be attracted to extremely specific persons without regard to whether they're male or female (though they have been historically cisgendered.)

I'm ridiculously picky...lol

That's mostly true for me, too. Lately, the particular way I think about that attraction, among other thoughts, has made me question the gender identity bit, too.
 

Tepelus

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I generally identify as bi because its easy to say and concise, but it's a lot more accurate to say that I tend to be attracted to extremely specific persons without regard to whether they're male or female (though they have been historically cisgendered.)

I'm ridiculously picky...lol

Yeah, this describes me as well, though I must not be that picky considering my past relationships and all.
 

maxmordon

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Hey there.

I tend to self-identifying me as bisexual for the same reason as many above; it's easier. Notheless, I have only shared these feelings with very few people IRL. I actually never have had a serious romantic relationship nor engaged in a sexual activity with another person and as such I believe I will never can't tell until I have had some experience.

I've felt attracted to both, men and women (and some in-between...) and even though I felt said attractions distinct from each other and tend to feel be able to open up more with women since I alway feel I need to prove something to men I really never truly understood the why of the different social treatment they get, though.

I have problems picturing myself engaged in sexual activities and the idea of actual sex tends to disgusting ideas of weird moles and hair and the stink of sweat of genitalia and ass. I consider myself akward, unactractive and my penis frankly disappointing. When I was a teenager I used to shower in my underpants since I hated the idea of actual nakedness. My family was not prudish, all the opposite, bjt there was some push on heteronormative sex. Grandpa always rambled on taking me to a brothel and how we he was a kid he had already sex with women (and some goats and donkeys).

I recently discovered I have phimosis (Do not google images of it) meaning I can't pull over my foreskin and make me figuring out why erectio s were painful sometimes. The doctor recommended a circumcision, I'm still on the fence about it.