Introverts: are you "afraid" of small talk, or do you just hate it?

CassandraW · Mar 30, 2015

I must note that I love witty banter, which I do not consider small talk. Small talk, to me, is the endless pointless exchange of information about the weather and mundane details of one another's lives. Witty banter stimulates me; extended discussion of the tribulations of finding a good preschool make me run for the door. (It's gotta be genuinely witty, though. And that's rare. Alas.)

I can easily spend a couple of hours in conversation with someone and emerge with no idea of what she does for a living or whether he is married (I never notice rings or think to ask unless I think he's attractive).

Shy, no. Easily bored by conversations, yes. Bored when alone, never.

Stew21 · Mar 30, 2015

CassandraW said:
That's me, exactly. Most people who know me casually peg me as an extrovert, mostly because they don't really know what an introvert is. Introverts get their energy from within; extroverts from people and stimuli around them. Introverts need lots of alone time to recharge and reflect; extroverts get their recharge from interaction with others.

I'm exhausted after an hour of small talk (though I can talk all night about something I really care about). But it's not that I can't do it. Actually, I'm good at it. I just hate it.

that's me. I can be "on" and I can enjoy the hell out of a good gathering of people. I just also need to be alone a fair bit of time. I don't lack small talk or social skills. I just also like to keep company in my own head regularly. it's one of the reasons I don't mind commuting to work. I charge my batteries on the way there and on the way home.

cray · Mar 30, 2015

i saw that.

CassandraW · Mar 30, 2015

Trish? Would you mind not recharging cray next time?

swachski · Mar 30, 2015

Yeah, it splits his ends..

Stew21 · Mar 30, 2015

CassandraW said:
Trish? Would you mind not recharging cray next time?

Unfortunately, I have to charge him. It's a breach of contract if I don't.

cray · Mar 30, 2015

CassandraW · Mar 30, 2015

Stew21 said:
Unfortunately, I have to charge him. It's a breach of contract if I don't.

maybe you could overcharge and fry him.

Gilroy Cullen · Mar 30, 2015

CassandraW said:
I must note that I love witty banter, which I do not consider small talk. Small talk, to me, is the endless pointless exchange of information about the weather and mundane details of one another's lives. Witty banter stimulates me.

This. Also finding someone with a similar like of something and just talking on that for hours on end. Best friend and I love to sing and talk music all the time.

I tend to get told I'm a good listener because I'll just let people talk. I'll always "appear" interested, even if I'm reading the blurb of the book at the next table or listening to something more interesting behind me. It's probably why I have more friends of the opposite sex (and more friends who like DRAMA!) because I'll just sit and listen.

morngnstar · Mar 30, 2015

I heard an interesting way to look at it somewhere. Extroverts prefer to talk. Introverts prefer to listen. That describes me pretty well. I don't say something until I have a clear and valuable thing to say. Until then I listen and consider.

Gilroy Cullen · Mar 30, 2015

Stew21 said:
Unfortunately, I have to charge him. It's a breach of contract if I don't.

I agree. Overcharge him.

Being under contract to him, you've got to be underpaid anyway...

quickWit · Mar 30, 2015

I don't hate small-talk, I just hate people.

People suck.

CassandraW · Mar 30, 2015

morngnstar said:
I heard an interesting way to look at it somewhere. Extroverts prefer to talk. Introverts prefer to listen. That describes me pretty well. I don't say something until I have a clear and valuable thing to say. Until then I listen and consider.

Actually, I like to talk -- when I have something to say, and someone I want to say it to. I can happily spend most evenings alone, but if I'm in company with a good friend, I'm doing my share of talking. I'm a good listener, but quiet I am not.

cray · Mar 30, 2015

quickWit said:
I don't hate small-talk, I just hate people.

People suck.

i think this is going to work out for the best because people like totally hate you!

i mean, really really hate you.

quickWit · Mar 30, 2015

blurve can be like that, buddy.

...

you know that Jayne Mansfield had some big breasts

CassandraW · Mar 30, 2015

Must my every attempt at meaningful discourse devolve into a discussion of Jayne Mansfield's breasts?

This is why we can't have nice things.

quickWit · Mar 30, 2015

CassandraW said:
Must my every attempt at meaningful discourse devolve into a discussion of Jayne Mansfield's breasts?

It's the way we prefer to handle them, Cass.

*giggle*

CAMueller · Mar 30, 2015

lizmonster said:
I told an old boss once that I was an introvert, and she said, with absolute confidence, "I don't believe you."

I think what bothered me the most about her comment was that she clearly felt I was being self-deprecating. Uh, no. It's a fact about me, and as it happens, I'm quite happy being an introvert.

Isn't it so silly that some people think being introverted is a negative?

pandaponies said:
*high fives Cassandra and CAMueller (edit: and liz!)*

*high fives all around*

quickWit said:
I don't hate small-talk, I just hate people.

People suck.

Also an option.

Gilroy Cullen · Mar 30, 2015

CassandraW said:
Must my every attempt at meaningful discourse devolve into a discussion of Jayne Mansfield's breasts?

Your introvertedness just attract the wrong type of people, Cass.

CassandraW · Mar 30, 2015

Gilroy Cullen said:
Your introvertedness just attract the wrong type of people, Cass.

So my introvertedness attracts pervertedness?

Suddenly, it all makes sense.

cray · Mar 30, 2015

CassandraW · Mar 30, 2015

I'd like to apologize to all the introverts who came to this thread hoping for meaningful dialogue.

Chris P · Mar 30, 2015

CassandraW said:
I'd like to apologize to all the introverts who came to this thread hoping for meaningful dialogue.

That's it. I'm going back into my shell.

(Hope y'all're happy)

Ambrosia · Mar 30, 2015

I'm not afraid of small talk, I just hate it.

Haggis · Mar 30, 2015

*peeks in*

There are too many people in this thread. Before long it's going to get loud. I hate loud.

*leaves*

Introverts: are you "afraid" of small talk, or do you just hate it?

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